Hell Inc. (7 page)

The next
morning, I woke up far earlier than usual. In fact, eleven o'clock,
to me, was considered obscene. I found Levie standing in my kitchen,
already dressed in a tight-fitting, red sweater and black slacks,
considering the contents of my fridge. His wings protruded from two
slits in the back of the sweater, and I had to wonder how the heck he
had gotten them in there. I made myself a note to ask later.

“You're
up early,” I mumbled, shuffling into the kitchen in my
slippers. Levie turned his head and gave me a look that spoke
volumes, horrible ones.

“Do
you always present yourself in such a manner?” His gaze landed
on my hair then traveled down to my chest. At first, I thought he
was staring at my fraying pajamas, but when his gaze didn't continue
to my bunny slippers, I glanced down. Apparently during my sleep, my
top had come unbuttoned, and my breasts were pretty much entirely
exposed. Awesome. Maybe if I had had small boobs, they wouldn't
have attracted so much of his attention, but small was not a word
that I would use to describe them. More like double D. That was
more the word. I quickly wrapped my shirt around me and crossed my
arms to cover as much of the bumps as I could. Levie dismissed me as
if nothing at all had occurred and redirected his attention back to
the fridge.

“Aren't
you going to say anything?” I snapped. “Like 'nice
ta-tas' or something?” Levie gave me a strange look and the
corner of his mouth twitched.

“Is
that the kind of compliment that human women enjoy hearing? A demon
woman would remove my testicles were I to speak to her in such a
manner.” I stood there for a moment, considering. Well, I was
glad that he hadn't gawked or anything, but I didn't like being
dismissed like that. It kind of made them feel ... unimportant.
I didn't like that. Everyone loves big boobs, right?

“Er,
I guess not.” I stood there, feeling like an idiot as the heat
rose to my cheeks, and I was sure my face was about as colorful as
the cherry Jell-O that had been sitting in my fridge since last
March. “I thought you didn't like human food?” I said,
trying to change the subject quickly. Levie spat at me. He actually
spat at me. Okay, not directly at me but in my direction.

“I
don't exactly have much choice, now do I?” he asked me in a
quiet voice that reminded me of the sea before a storm. I hoped a
hurricane wasn't about to hit. “I'm to ... live ...
here with ... with
you,
and I
hate
humans. In
fact,” he snarled, the quiet giving away to a more raucous
anger. He leaned forward and breathed a breath of hot air against my
ear. In spite of myself, I shivered. “I despise them.”
He straightened abruptly and made a shooing motion with his hands.
“Go dress yourself, stupid girl. I can't handle looking at
your ugliness any longer.” I wanted to hit him but with the way
his wings were raised in a very aggressive stance, I decided against
it. I settled for name calling instead.

“You,
my good sir, are an insensitive prick,” I said and then
hurried into the bathroom before he tried to kill me.
What an
asshole,
I thought as I stared at myself in the mirror, my green
eyes reflecting the fluorescent light. He was a jerk, true, but
there was a quiet anger and a hurt behind his words that I just did
not get. Either he was being cryptic, or I was just dense. I
figured it was the former and brushed it off. Good practice, too,
since that wasn't all I was going to be brushing. My hair, which
usually hung just below my ears, was gathered into a tangled snarl
atop my head. “How does hair this short get tangled?” I
screamed at my reflection. I opened a drawer on the vanity and
attacked the mass of bright orange and black tresses.

It was
slow going. Not good. When Ginger gets bored, she starts to muse.
My musings generally fell under the twin labels of depressing and
useless. I was twenty years old and although most people my age were
in college or getting married, I was still experimenting with colored
hair dye and playing video games. So my life was progressing slowly,
so what? I didn't want a traditional life, which was fine, but I
really didn't know what kind of life I did want. At least I'd
finally quit my job. That was a step in the right direction. Wasn't
it?

“You
have options now. Lots of them,” I told myself as I finally
got my hair under control. My trump cards. My wishes. I grinned at
myself and went into my room to get a change of clothing, avoiding
the crazed demon that was now sitting on my sofa.

I need
to look nice today,
I thought as I slid open the doors to my
closet. First off, I was tired of getting looks from Mr. Pressed and
Pompous. Second, I was going to the museum. Queen Bee with the
sandy hair and the aquamarine eyes was working today. Couldn't hurt
to stop by like I just happened to do every Wednesday. Maybe one day
he'd notice me and ask me out. Maybe not. It was worth a shot.
Besides, they had a new exhibit that I was dying to see on ancient
Egypt. I knew looking at the ancient pieces would give me clarity;
it always did. I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with
Levie. I guess I would have to take him with me. If he would go,
that is. I figured that was his problem; he was a big boy. If he
didn't want to go then he could entertain himself on his own.
Already steeling myself for a fight, I dressed myself and marched
into the living room like a soldier about to go into battle.

Levie was
wearing his glasses and reading a different novel than the one he'd
had before. This one was called
The Sexy Pirate Pillager
.
Where he got these books, I had no idea, didn't want to know. He
didn't even look at me when I walked up to him. I wondered what he
would think of the outfit that I was wearing. Most people thought it
was weird to wear a corset and jeans out on the town. But what
people didn't get was that nowadays, corsets were made for going out.
Why add all the extra zippers and bows if no one was going to get to
admire it?

I cleared
my throat to get Levie's attention. He turned the page but didn't
look up.

“I'm
going to the museum before lunch. There's an exhibit on ancient
Egypt. I'm not sure if you want to go or what, but I don't really
know if I should leave you here. After what happened last time, that
is.”

“I
will go,” was all he said as he folded his book closed and set
it on the seat next to him. “I cannot risk the rack again.”
I hadn't been referring to my mistake but to the dead gnomes that
I'd had to clean up when I came home. Getting the smell of burnt
flesh out of the furniture had taken about two gallons of Febreze and
a shitload of incense. But he could take it however he chose.

When he
finally looked at me, he removed his glasses and his eyes roved
appreciatively. At least, I thought so until he opened his mouth.

“At
least you look somewhat presentable now,” he said, standing up
and stretching his arms and wings.
What the hell was that?
It
was better than a direct insult but not by much. I rolled my eyes
and decided not to try and explore the intricacies of demon manners.

I grabbed
my leather wallet off the coffee table and stuffed it into my back
pocket. I thought briefly about taking my truck, but the museum
wasn't far away; it would be an easy walk. Besides, gas required
money. Of which I had little of at this point. At least today was
the second Wednesday of the month, free admission after twelve.

“How
did you sleep last night?” I asked as we entered the hallway.
I locked the door securely behind me. “I can't imagine you'd
be all that comfortable with those wings.” Levie sniffed
rudely.

“I
slept horribly, and it had nothing to do with my wings.” He
reached a hand up and rubbed at his left cheek. “I was covered
in human filth.” I stopped at the top of the stairs, my hand
resting lightly on the rail. Levie paused behind me and looked away,
almost shamefully.

“A
kiss on the cheek bothered you that much?” I asked and then
continued down. I didn't wait to see if he was following me and
began heading in the direction of the museum. While I was waiting
for the crosswalk, Levie caught up to me and stood there glaring at
anyone and everything that passed by.

“Did
I invite you to kiss me?” He asked, and I looked at him
sideways.

“Well,
no, I suppose you didn't. It was more of a joke than anything else.
I'm sorry if it bothered you so much, but you seem to be doing
everything in your power to bother me.” He didn't answer, and
I figured that was the end of the conversation.

Levie and
I crossed the street and turned right, walking past a shopping center
filled to capacity with early afternoon shoppers. A group of fairies
was flying around in circles, giggling and dropping cherry blossom
flowers. The trees themselves were in full bloom, so I'm sure that
most people assumed the flowers were falling from the trees.
But
still
, I chastised myself,
don't pay attention to them or they
can and will do a lot worse.
Levie looked up at the fairies and
for a second, I was shocked that he could see them. Then I
remembered: demon. Of course he could see them.

“I
hate this,” I said to him. He wasn't exactly the kind of
person that begged you to spell out your life story for them, but he
could see what no one else, as far as anyone I'd ever met, could see.
It made me feel connected to him, if only for a brief moment. “No
one else sees these things. It's kind of disconcerting, you know?
In fact, now that I think about it, I bet that's why you guys didn't
get any other responses to your ad.” Levie looked at me for a
second but didn't say anything. “It's sort of cool, in a way,
but when you can't even talk to anyone about it without being sent to
a shrink, it kind of diminishes the fun.”

A vampire
was leaning against the telephone pole directly in front of us,
smoking a cigarette. His eyes widened when he saw Levie, but he
didn't try and stop us as we went by. People could see him, too, I
knew, but they wouldn't know what he was. Not until he bit them
anyway. I didn't know why some supernaturals could be seen in an
altered form and some couldn't be seen at all, it didn't make any
sense, but I guess magic doesn't have to. That's what makes it
magic, isn't it?

I sighed
and ran a hand through my hair. “Maybe I am crazy,” I
mused. “Maybe you're just some other crazy person that I met
over the Internet, and we hooked up, and I hallucinated all of that
wish crap.” Levie turned to me, lip curled in disgust

“Are
you suggesting that I am merely a mentally insane human being? The
idea that you would even consider that offends me greatly.”
Levie shook his head as if trying to clear it of that very disturbing
thought. “And I would never 'hook up' with you. Perhaps that
thought sickens me even more.” I wanted to be offended, I
really did, but I just laughed instead.

“Oh
come on, you know you want me.” I ran my hands over my breasts
then leaned up on my tippy-toes and gave him a big wet kiss on his
right cheek. “You stupid asshole.” I savored the look
of shock on his face for a moment before I mounted the steps to the
museum and took them as fast as I could, trying to stay ahead of
Levie.

When I got
to the double glass doors in the front, I yanked them open quickly
and scurried to the ticket booth. I grabbed a visitor's pass and
checked behind me. Levie was strolling slowly, in no apparent hurry
to follow me. I felt a flush pass across my face.
Was I just
flirting with him?
What the hell is wrong with me?
I
shook my head and followed the signs to the exhibit, all the while
keeping my eyes peeled for Queen Bee. Truthfully, there was a moment
there where I had almost forgotten about him. That did not bode
well.
I do no have a crush on that
thing.
It couldn't be
ruder or meaner or more spiteful. I do not live in the 1900's. Men
should have manners.
I stomped my foot triumphantly, eliciting
stares, and hurried into a side wing full of old paper – er,
hand painted papyrus.

As I was
perusing the gallery, I ran into a sphinx.

He or it,
I supposed, since it really didn't have a gender, was sitting in
front of one of the framed pieces, head cocked to the side. The
sphinx's lion tail twitched back and forth as it seemingly read the
hieroglyphics, which I bet it could. It was a sphinx after all.

I walked
over to stand next to it and tried not to stare too much.

“What
takes on one form, sheds it, and consumes it to create another
version of itself?” the sphinx asked. I was pretty sure it
wasn't asking anyone in particular, so I watched it out of the corner
of my eye. It raised one thick paw to its all too human face as if
it were going to clean itself like a cat but stopped and set the paw
back down. The Egyptian headdress of gold and burgundy that it was
wearing glinted in the sunlight filtering in from the skylight
windows of the museum. “Who does the blind man see, the deaf
man hear, and the mute man speak of?” I chuckled and tried not
to look crazy in front of the Carlson Center Care Home members that
were milling across the way from me by pretending to have seen
something humorous in the glass display case.