Here's to Forever (13 page)

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes and picks up a green shirt I have out on the bed. “How about this?”

Smiling, I pull it from her hands, hugging it to me. It’s the shirt I wore on my first date with Hudson.
Of course
she would pick this shirt. Because it fits. It’s perfect. And it’s a damn sign if I ever got one. 

“Good choice.”

“Here,” she says, shoving a dark pair of jeans at me. “Wear these too. You’re welcome.”

I quickly make my way to her adjoining bathroom to change. I walk back out to find her quietly talking with Dallas.

“…gonna hate you. These things never end well,” I catch Dallas saying.

“What never ends well?” I question.

Dall turns to me with a small smirk. “Roommate’s night out. We’re having one tonight. We plan to get drunk.”

“Yikes. Have fun with that one.”

“Hopefully Perry doesn’t ruin this one again.”

I frown. “He’s getting bad, huh? I honestly can’t remember the last time he spent an entire day sober. I just…I don’t know how to help him. Especially when he doesn’t want it.”

“I’m at a complete loss myself. He’s stopped frequenting Clyde’s since I quit. He’s now taken up residence at Mic’s. Gary’s already thrown him out twice.”

“Fuck.”

“I, uh, I could try to talk with him.” I look to Dallas, noting the concern in his voice, wondering where it comes from. “I mean, it’s worth a shot. Maybe he’d take better to some advice from an outsider rather than his best friends.”

I want to believe that’s what Dallas means, but I can see something in him, something that’s motivating him to want to help Perry, who’s been nothing but a total dick to him. I’m just not sure what it is. Maybe there’s just a layer to Perry that he connects with, can relate to on a level Maura and I can’t.

“Um, yeah, that would be great, Dallas. Hopefully someone can get through to him. Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet. He’s fairly determined to hate me, so this could be quite the adventure.”

“Well, you’re willing to try. That’s all that counts. Speaking of trying…” Maura turns to me. “How are those nerves? You feeling any better?”

“Was until you just reminded me about them. It. The date.”

“Oh, she’s nervous all right. She’s speaking in tiny sentences.” Dallas laughs.

I glare at him. “Don’t you have to go play head shrink or something?”

“And feisty. She’s getting all worked up now,” Maura teases.

“You’re both evil.”

“Oh, hush. You love us and you know it. Now go finish getting ready. Hudson will be here soon and you haven’t even touched your hair yet.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” I tell her, finding my way back to the bathroom.

As I start to get ready, I notice the shake to my hands, the flutters of nerves in my stomach, the slight buzzing in my head. I have no clue why I’m so nervous. Maura was right—I’ve already been dating Hudson for just about a year. We’ve gone on countless dates, lived together, romanced our way into love. This should be no different, especially considering all we’ve done together and been through. But it is. The way this feels? It’s…new. This feels like a complete do-over. 

And I’m so ready for that.

A knock sounds at the front door, startling me so hard I drop the can of hairspray I’m holding, letting it clatter loudly to the floor.

The sudden tapping on the bathroom door makes me yelp. “You okay in there, Rae?” Dallas asks, twisting at the knob and inching the door open.

I peer at him through the crack. “I…fuck.”

He opens the door fully, refusing to let me use it as a barrier, a safe spot. Crowding into the small bathroom, he places his hands on my shoulders, steadying me.

“Chill. You’re going to be fine. Just take deep breaths.”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” I admit, pulling away to glance in the mirror one last time.
Is he going to think this outfit is stupid? Is he even going to remember it?

“Because you’re madly in love with him and you realize that this is an opportunity to start over, to make things right, to make them better. Because you’re smart. You’d be insane to not be nervous.” He pauses for a second. “Rae, Hudson’s a good guy. I don’t know him all that well, but I can tell you that he doesn’t want to hurt you. Just…give him a chance, okay?”

I nod, thinking back to my earlier text exchange with Hudson. “I plan to.”

“Good. Now go out there and get that fine-ass man of yours before I try to bring him over to the dark side.” He winks, moving to the side and waving me out the door.

“I like you, Dall. Might just have to keep you around.”

“I think I’d let you.”

“Like you’d have a choice,” I call over my shoulder.

Before I make it to the end of the short hallway, I’m attacked by Maura swooping me up in a strong hug.

“Don’t hate me. Be safe. Have fun. Keep an open mind. I love you.”

And just as fast as I was crushed in her embrace, I’m set free, being pushed into the living room. Hudson turns from staring out the patio door, smirking at me in that sexy way of his.

“Hi.” It’s almost shy, the way he says it. It’s…cute.

“Uh, hi.”

He strides over to me, raising a hand to just one side of my face. I can’t help it—my head rolls into his simple touch. My breath hitches as he inches his lips closer to mine, only to swerve at the last second, placing a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. Instead of pulling away, he shocks me by ghosting his lips across my cheek, his hot breath sending chills down my spine.

“You look beautiful.”

I gaze up at him as he pulls back, smiling at the glint I see in his eye.
He noticed my outfit.
I love that he didn’t outright say something about it, but instead subtly acknowledged its significance, just as I had done by wearing it.

Hudson glances down at my mouth, back to my eyes, and then straight back to my lips again. Taking the initiative, I stand up on my toes and press a small kiss to his lips. 

“I don’t normally kiss on the first date, but I’ll make an exception for you,” I tell him, winking as I move away and head toward the door.

I grab my jacket and purse off the back of the couch and turn back to him. “You coming, Casanova?”

“Goddamn I’ve missed that mouth.”

“So, where are we headed?”

We’re buckled in the car, racing down the highway out of town; my interest is officially piqued.

“Somewhere.”

“Right. I can see that. But where?”

“Can’t you just enjoy the surprise?”

“Going off all your other awesome surprises lately, no.”

He winces at my words, but I refuse to take them back, especially since they’re true.

His sigh tells me I’ve won this round. “Well, if you
must
know, I’ve made some arrangements. We’re, uh, going out of town for the weekend.”

Out of town? To where? Wait…why?

“Um, right. Okay.” I wring my hands together in nervousness, unsure of what he’s planned. “Uh, where are we headed to?”

I’m watching him, so I see the hesitant sidelong glance he shoots my way. He licks his lips, drawing out the moment another few seconds. “The beach.”

“
The
beach?”

He squints one eye closed, like hearing the words leave my mouth makes him question everything. “Um…yes?”

I sit back in my seat, not realizing I’d moved forward at all. “Oh.”

“Does that worry you? Are you mad? Should I cancel the trip?”

Am I mad? No. Worried? A little. Cancel the trip? I
think
the answer is no on that one as well. The nerves creep in, making me want to say yes, but I know this could be a good opportunity for us. A chance. One to start over. And despite how going back to the beach where his daughter almost died on my watch nearly a year ago makes me want to vomit all over his pretty SUV, I think this will be a good thing for us.

At least I hope it will be.

“No, don’t cancel. Let’s go.”

He lets out a relieved breath. “Good.” He nods a few times. “Good,” he repeats.

“Good.”

“We have such a way with words.”

“I do. Not sure about you though.”

“See? Sweet talkin’ me already. I knew this was going to be a good trip.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever. You
hoped
this would be a good trip. You’re lucky I even said yes to this surprise adventure.”

He quiets down and lowly says, “Thank you.”

I bravely reach over and grab his hand, turning it over and lacing mine with his. “We’ve got some work to do this weekend, Hudson. With ourselves, with us. I…I don’t want to give this up. And I realize now I was wrong to walk out as suddenly as I did. I should have stayed and listened to your reasons, not because I owed it to you, but because that’s what you do in a relationship. I fear I’ve let my fucked up head twist shit around, and that’s not okay.”

I pause, taking a moment to let that sink in, not only for him but for me too. That’s the first time I’ve admitted that out loud. It’s scary, but it’s truthful. I
have
twisted things in my mind. I’ve begun to question absolutely everything about our relationship, and that’s not fair to either of us.

“We need to heal. I think this little getaway of yours might help.”

He squeezes my hand a few times. “I sure as hell hope so.”

The ride is shorter than I remember from last time, and before I know it, we’re pulling up to the faded yellow beach house, complete with white shutters and a rackety wooden, unpainted fence. It needs a little TLC, sure, but it’s perfect.

“This place is just as beautiful as I remember.”

Hudson climbs the stairs behind me lugging our bags with him. Maura managed to sneak mine to him when Dallas was calming me down in the bathroom. Their scheme is a little irritating, but I don’t have it in me to be mad over something I desperately needed. In fact, I’m rather grateful for it. She may have pushed us but at least she pushed in the right direction—together.

We clamor through the front door and take a moment to let the house air out before we close it again. Hudson heads down the hallway toward the bedrooms.

“Wait. Joe’s not here. Does this mean
we
actually get the big bedroom this time?”

I take note of his use of “we.” It makes me…nervous. We haven’t slept in the same bed since the night before I walked out. While I’ve missed that, I’m also a little scared to take that big step. But if we’re playing house this weekend and attempting to mend the cracks in our relationship, we need to go big or go home.

“Huh. I suppose
we
do.”

He smiles at my words, and it’s one of those heart-stopping smiles. I can’t help returning it.

Hudson walks our luggage to the big bedroom and I find myself standing in front of the large French doors, mesmerized by the wavy beach that’s our backyard. The last time we were here changed our lives dramatically. I can only hope for the same this time around. If not, I feel like this could possibly be our last shot at…well, us. I don’t want that. I want forever with Hudson.

And I know how unrealistic and cheesy that sounds, but I’ve always believed that if you want something hard enough and work at it with all you’ve got, you can make it happen. That’s what I’m determined to do here.

Strong arms snake around my waist, holding me captive in a warm embrace. I lean back into Hudson, letting him hold us both up.

“I’d suggest us trying to do something romantic like cooking dinner together, but with our track records in the kitchen, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I kind of like this beach house and prefer to not see it as a pile of ashes.”

I twist a little, peeking over my shoulder at him. “I can see your faith in my cooking abilities hasn’t waned.”

He smirks. “Never.”

God, I’ve missed that smirk.

“So, dinner out?” I ask, turning back around.

“Naturally.” I feel him bend down, his lips grazing against my neck as he speaks. “Or we can order in.”

“Was that code for
Supernatural
and chill?”

He groans playfully and buries his head in my neck, his laughter vibrating against my body. “I love how you know me.”

I laugh and turn around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You just love me in general.”

He looks a little surprised by my words, and I have to say, so am I. We fell back into our normal banter and routine in just a matter of moments. It’s almost as if the past year of his lies haven’t even happened, like we haven’t spent all these days apart. It feels like nothing and everything has changed. All at once. In the best way possible. I feel…lighter. I feel…forgiving. I feel ready to move on.

“This is true,” he whispers before pressing his lips against my forehead, my favorite move of his. He holds his lips there for a few seconds before he slowly begins to trail feather-light kisses down my nose and straight to my lips. He doesn’t press, he just holds his lips to mine. It’s simple and perfect.

All it takes is the unconscious act of wetting my lips, my tongue brushing against him, and he attacks. He presses his lips to mine—hard. Our mouths meld together and I open for him when I feel his tongue trace the seam of my lips. They wage war against one another. Only it’s not bloody and violent. It’s full of beauty and heart. It’s a war of love, and we’re both waving the white flag right now.