Here's to Forever (4 page)

She instantly perks up because this kid
loves
Maura. “Yes! Please!”

I teasingly narrow my eyes at her. “You’re supposed to love me most.”

Joey pats my arm. “It’s okay. You’re my fourth favorite.”

“Fourth! You’re killing me, kid.”

She shrugs and skips—
skips
—back to the car.

The short ride to Maura’s is silent. I’m a little nervous to see her. She’s been going through a tough time since Tanner’s death and Tucker’s leaving, so I’m not sure which version of her I’ll be getting today. For Joey’s sake, I hope it’s the happy-go-lucky one.

I let Joey push the doorbell once we reach Maura’s apartment. We’re immediately greeted by a tall, tanned, complete and total stud. No matter how many times I’ve been here in the last couple weeks, it still surprises me every single time Maura’s new roommate opens the door.

“Hey, Rae, Joe. How are you beautiful ladies today?” Dallas says, moving aside and waving us in.

“G-good,” Joey stutters. I want to laugh because I know her stuttering is a sign of nervousness. She’s completely smitten with Dallas. She thinks he’s “so cute.”

“We’re good. Maura here?”

“Babygirl! You’ve got company,” he shouts. Then he bends down and whispers, “Today’s a rough day. I’m glad you stopped by.”

I give him a small smile and flick my eyes to Joey, silently asking him to keep her occupied while I go wrangle Maura out of bed.

“Hey, Joe, wanna go see who can eat the most ice cream in five minutes?”

This time I give him an
Are you fucking serious?
look, because really? Ice cream eating contest? He shrugs and ushers her off to start a brain freeze war.

I quietly make my way down the hall and briefly knock on Maura’s door before letting myself in. Seeing her curled up in bed just blankly staring at the door causes my heart to hitch. I hate seeing my best friend hurting like this. The worst part is that she’s not hurting in the traditional sense. I wish she’d cry or scream or break down. She does none of those things. Instead she retreats into her head and stays silent for days at a time. It’s near impossible to get through to her when she gets like this. But I always try.

“Hey,” I say softly. “How are you?”

She doesn’t say anything. But she does scoot over, inviting me to come sit next to her. So I do.

“Joey’s here.” It’s barely noticeable, but I can see a small smile touch her lips. “She’s having an ice cream eating contest with Dallas. I’m not sure I like him anymore.”

Her eyes finally leave the door and she looks at me.

“I do,” she croaks out. “He’s so damn good to me, Rae. I had a freak-out last night. He talked me down.”

She’s letting off wave after wave of sadness. I want to wrap her up and keep her safe from all this heartache, but I can’t. She needs to feel it or she’ll never be able to work through it. So all I can do it sit here with her. “Good. I’m glad you have him here.”

“I miss him.”

I don’t need to ask who she’s talking about.

“I know. I do too.”

She blows out a breath, and I watch as she musters up the courage she needs to push through the day. It’s slow, but eventually she’s in a place where I know she’ll be okay.

“So, what’s up with you?”

“Hudson’s not where he says he is.”

Her eyebrows shoot up instantly. “Where is he, then?”

I shrug. “No clue. He’s been going into the office a lot on Sundays, so Joey and I tried taking him some lunch today only to find the shop completely empty and no sign of his car.”

“Come on. Say it, Rae.”

She knows me way too well.

“What the fuck does it mean, Maura? I didn’t think much of it before, but the fact that he lied about where he was going today makes me think he’s been lying this entire time. Why? And where in the hell is he going if not to Jacked Up?”

I hate saying all this out loud. I hate having these fears. Hudson doesn’t deserve accusations that come with the questions I’m voicing. But I also don’t deserve to be lied to.

“I’m sure—”

“There’s an explanation. Yeah, I know,” I interrupt her. “But there shouldn’t have to be an explanation. We should be able to be completely honest with one another.”

Maura sits up and mirrors my dejected posture. “True. But sometimes it’s necessary, Rae. What if he’s planning a sweet surprise? What if he just had to go run an errand? What if he went to lunch? I don’t think the conclusions you’re jumping to are fair.”

They’re not. I know I’m being a little crazy about this right now, but something about the situation makes me feel uneasy. I can’t ignore it.

“I feel horrible saying this all out loud, Maura. You know I love that man with everything I have. But something feels off.”

“You do know the only way to get to the bottom of this, right?”

“Hold him down and feed him Veritaserum?”

“First of all, wow, you’re a damn nerd. Second, that doesn’t even exist in our Muggle world. Third, no.”

“I’m a nerd? You’re the one who knew I was referencing Harry Potter.”

Maura scoffs. “Whatever. But my answer is still no. You need to just ask him about it. Give him the chance to explain. That’s the only way it’s going to be fair.”

I sigh. “The Veritaserum sounded more fun.”

She lets out a dry laugh. “It did, didn’t it?”

“I hate when you’re right.”

“But you love
me.
”

“That I do. Which is why I’m done watching you mope,” I tell her, diverting the conversation back to her. “So, up. Let’s go. We’re leaving the bed today and we’re going to go out there and eat ice cream until we can freeze all these shitty thoughts out of our heads.”

“Oh, I love the way you think.”

“And you love
me.
”

“That I do.”

“Hey, babe. How was your day?” Hudson wraps his arms around me from behind, nuzzling my neck, nipping lightly at the spot he knows drives me insane. I don’t want my body to react, but I can’t help the way it automatically falls back into his embrace, molding to him perfectly.

I want to be angry with him for lying, I want to push him away. But as much as I want those things, I also want him to hold me closer, to be happy, to spin around and welcome him home with a kiss. Instead, I act naturally. And neutrally.

“Good,” I tell him, rinsing off the plate I’m holding. “We went to visit Maura, had lunch with her and Dallas, who I’m growing quite fond of.”

Hudson nips at my neck once more.

“I’m glad he’s not into girls, because then I may have to act jealous.”

I’d normally come back with a quick-witted comment, but I’m just not feeling the spar today. I can tell by the way his arms constrict around me that he notices.

“You gonna spill?”

Hudson drops his arms and takes a step back at the sound of disbelief that involuntarily leaves my mouth. I wince because I know he doesn’t deserve the cold shoulder I’m giving him. But I also don’t deserve to be lied to.

Are you serious right now, Rae? You
don’t
know he lied! He could have just gone to lunch. Grow the fuck up already.

I should listen to myself. I know I should. But I can’t. Because my stupid fucking stomach is tied up in knots like a fucking sailor did that shit. Something’s off. I can feel it.

“Right. Well, I’ll leave you to your sulking, then. Let me know when you want to talk. I’m here for anything.”

He sounds so sincere I almost cave. In fact, I spin around to do so. But as soon as I see his retreating back, I have the strongest urge to throw something at him. Which is entirely stupid because I don’t know if he even did anything wrong.

I’m suddenly tired from the constant back and forth my brain is having with my stomach. Neither one of them will stop bickering. I feel sick.

I quickly finish the dishes, set out the menus for our weekly Sunday takeout, and head toward the stairs without saying a word to Hudson.

Relentless. That’s one word someone could use to describe Hudson. I’m not even in our bedroom five minutes before he seeks me out.

“Babe, come on. Tell me what’s wrong,” he tries, closing our bedroom door and relaxing on the bed next to me but not touching me.

I hate that he’s not touching me.

“You.”

“Me, what?”

“You. You’re what’s wrong.”

I swear I can hear the wheels turning in his head. “Why am I what’s wrong?”

I don’t answer for a long time. So long that I feel his breathing start to even out. So long that I’m certain the dark, quiet room has nearly lulled him to sleep.

“We tried to bring you lunch today,” I whisper.

Silence. I’m met with silence. But I know he heard me, and I know he’s awake now because he shifts a little. I feel an arm snake around my waist and I’m being pulled into his warmth. I relax instantly. Being in his arms will always relax me. No matter how mad I am, no matter how annoying he is, no matter the bitchiness that’s swallowing me whole, being touched by him is guaranteed to soothe me.

With my ass pressed against his dick, I can feel him growing hard. I push back on him, loving the feel of him against me. His hand finds my breast and gently cups it, taking my hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger. I moan as he rolls it between them, applying just the right amount of pressure. Everything with Hudson is just the right amount.

Soft lips trace a path from my shoulder to my neck. Light nips are quickly soothed by small licks, and my entire body is on fire. I roll over and slam my mouth against Hudson’s, pressing my front to his, throwing a leg over him so his erection fits snuggly between my legs. He rolls us over so he’s on top, pinning me to the bed, never once breaking our kiss. His tongue prods, making love to my mouth, saying the words he can’t out loud. He knows I’m mad. I know I’m mad. Neither one of us cares right now.

We don’t care as my hands find his shirt and he rips it over his head. We don’t care as I unsnap his pants and draw down his zipper so he can kick his jeans away. Nor do we care when he strips away my clothes piece by piece. The moment all care in the entire world is thrown directly out the window is when he gently parts my legs and enters me with one quick thrust.

No words are spoken, no sounds are made. But the room is still loud, filled to the brim with our thoughts, our silent communication, our unspoken bond, our
love.
And the questions surrounding us and this moment are endless and tight and reaching out to grab at all the perfect moments we’ve ever had. Something is shifting.

And I’m not sure I like it.

“Something happened last night, man.”

My head snaps up at the grim tone of Gaige’s voice.

“What’s up?”

“I heard Tucker on the radio.”

A smile takes over my face instantly and my chest swells with pride.
My best friend is on the fucking radio.
I wish I could say I helped him get there, but I didn’t. I may have pushed him to finally follow his dreams, but nothing has carried that man more than his talent. And I’m beyond proud of him for that, so I’m a little thrown by Gaige’s statement.

“Why is that a bad thing?”

“Because that means the fucker is honestly good and isn’t coming back. Ever. I don’t like that. He’s a prick.”

I chuckle because it’s such a typical response coming from Gaige. When he gets uncomfortable with his emotions—pride in this case—he reverts back to the one thing he excels at: sarcasm. And insults, apparently. So let’s just go ahead and make that two things.

“You know you’re proud as hell,” I say, focusing back on my laptop because I’m horribly behind on work.

“Whatever,” he mumbles as he shuffles into the room, takes a seat, and props his shoes up on my desk. “You know you miss him.”

“True.”

“You want him to go and be big and famous, don’t you?”

“Mhmm.”

“And you want him to go off and leave us all behind and never, ever talk to us again?”

“Yep.”

“You’re also not listening to a single thing I’m saying right now. Hudson, can I have a raise? How’s two dollars more an hour sound?”

“Sounds like you’re not getting a raise,” I tell him, closing my laptop and knocking his dirty boots off my desk. “You’ve sufficiently distracted me. Now what do you want?”