His Shadowed Heart ((Books We Love Regency Romance)) (5 page)

The decision had not come easily. Much soul searching had preceded its arrival, and he had not sought his bedchamber until the previous evening had been well advanced, and then only to pace the confines of his apartment until eventually he was forced to attempt sleep. When his secretary, John Eaton, appeared to begin his daily duties, he was surprised to find his employer already awaiting him in his office.

“My lord, am I late?” he asked in some perplexity, taking out his pocket watch and checking the time.

“’Tis I who am early,” stated the earl. “Don’t look so disconcerted, John—I won’t trespass in your domain over long. I wish only to inform you that there is a possibility that I may be removing to Lordings in the not too distant future and, if all goes well with my errand this morning, I may have a confidential task for you.”

“I can assure you,
sir, that you can rely on my discretion with whatever task you may wish to entrust to me. Am I to start the arrangements for the journey to Lordings immediately or await your notice?”

“I will let you have the details later, when I return. Until then, don’t commit me to any engagements.”

“Not even the House, sir?”

“Definitely not
the House. I will be in no mind to be making speeches no matter the topic.”

“But, sir, there is the debate on
….”

“Whatever the debate it can go to the devil,”
His Lordship stated, good-humoredly. “At this precise moment in time, politics are the furthest thing from my mind. I have far more important matters to contemplate.”

“As you wish, my lord, though I had prepared the speech you wished to offer at the next sitting.”

“I thank you for your promptness, but if all goes well, I will not be in the city when the topic is raised.

“Very well, sir,” said Eaton with a sigh of resignation. “Perhaps with some modification we can use it at a later date.”

“Quite probably,” the earl commented. “I have every faith in your ability to amend it.” Taking his leave, he repaired to his apartment intent on preparing for his outing.

He brushed aside his valet’s would-be ministrations, preferring instead to attend to his own needs, leaving this worthy individual to hover uncertainly in the hope that at least he may be of some service in helping with
His Lordship’s Hessians.

The earl pushed a diamond pin into the intricate folds of his neck-cloth and, standing back to examine the effect, proclaimed himself satisfied with the results. Accepting his hat and cane, he made his way down to the hallway and out into the waiting coach, directing his groom to drive to Lord Marchant’s home.

*****

“My dear Richard, what a pleasant surprise,” Lady Diana cried, coming to meet him with hand outstretched when he was issued into her presence.

He took her hand and raised it to his lips. “’Pon faith, Diana, motherhood certainly suits you,” he said, smiling. “You positively glow, and at such an early hour.”

Smiling up at him, she appeared well satisfied with his complements. “Yes, it is rather early, especially to be making courtesy calls. What is it that brings you here at such an unfashionable hour?”

“I come on a selfish errand, my dear, though one I believe of benefit to your cousin. Do I have your permission to speak to her?”

Her Ladyship appeared perplexed but replied, “Of course you may speak to her, I will send for her directly.”

“Alone?” the earl queried.

“Of a certainty, Richard, but what is the mystery? Come now, tell me. You have whetted my appetite!”

“There is no mystery involved, but I believe I must speak to Miss Northam before I can reveal my purpose. It would not do that I should make you privy to my intentions before I have spoken to her.”

She rang for a footman and asked him to direct Miss Northam to the morning room immediately, adding, “I believe you will find her in the nursery, the children were asking for her just a short while ago.”

“I will leave you then, Richard,” she said, preparing to make her exit, “but you must promise to tell me all before you leave. I will not have it otherwise.”

He gave no answer, but proffered a short bow. He would make no promises at this point, too much was at stake.

After what seemed an eternity, he heard the latch and turned to greet Miss Northam as she somewhat breathlessly entered the room. She had obviously been on the point of departure for she wore a walking dress and carried a parasol in her hand.

“You must forgive me for keeping you waiting, my lord,” she said, appearing a little breathless. “I was just about to accompany the children to the park. They became fretful and I thought perhaps an outing would satisfy them.”

He stood looking at her for a moment and with an apprehensive look she prompted, “You wished to speak to me, sir?”

“Exactly,” he replied, starting a little as if returning from a moment of thought. Then smiling, “My dear Miss Northam—Caroline, won’t you be seated, it would be easier to say what I have come to say if you did not appeared prepared for instant flight. The matter is not so serious—at least I hope it won’t appear so.”

Seating herself on the chaise, she folded her hands calmly in her lap and waited patiently for him to begin. She had no idea what he should want of her and, completely nonplussed, her eyes never wavered from his face.

“How set are you on returning to your aunt’s?” he asked, standing before her, hands held behind his back.

“That is a strange question, sir, as I have no alternative,” she replied, puzzled.

“Ah, but you do have an alternative, my dear. You may either return to your aunt, or, if it finds favor with you, accept the role I offer you.”

A slight frown puckered her brow. “You require a governess for Julia? Surely she is too young to have need of a governess?”

“I am asking you to marry me, you silly girl,” he chided gently, seating himself beside her and taking her hand. “The thought came to me yesterday and would not be put aside and I believe it would solve our respective problems quite thoroughly. For my part, it will relieve me of my most estimable sister’s endeavors to present me with a bride, and for yourself, it will provide you with a home and a deal of stability. I have seen that you are in some degree becoming attached to Julia and she to you, she will be all the better for the guidance of a mother. As for myself, I shall have a companion, someone to share the daily happenings of my life. Indeed, my dear, I believe we would do famously together. Neither need interfere with the other’s arrangings, and if we are discreet, we may order our own lives admirably. Perhaps, we may even achieve a certain degree of contentment. We would be no better or worse than many other couples of our acquaintance.”

He had taken her so completely off guard that she sat silently regarding him, eyes wide, unable to give a reply.

“Come, what do you say?” he asked in rallying tones. “Give me my answer now and arrangements will be made. There is no need for delay. An early conclusion to the affair is what is needed.”

Still she gave him no answer.

Thinking he understood her reluctance, he said quietly, “You need not fear the intimate side of marriage, my dear. I will not force my person upon you. It will be a marriage in name only.”

Color suffused her cheeks as his meaning took hold, but still, in her bewilderment, she could find no answer.

He took her confusion as rejection. “You must forgive me Miss Northam,” he said, dropping his eyes and relinquishing her hand. “It is obvious my suggestion does not find favor with you. In my vanity, I had hoped you would not find the thought of marriage to me and the advantages it would offer totally abhorrent. Obviously I was wrong.”

Finally, she found command of her voice. “It isn’t,” she said breathlessly. “Oh, it isn’t. You merely took me by surprise.” He had spoken no words of love but this did not seem strange to her, the fact that she had fallen in love with him on the evening of the ball mattered not. The fact that what he was offering was a marriage of convenience mattered not, and the thought that she was to share his life proved too much of a temptation to be ignored.

“I will marry you, sir.”

“Excellent! Excellent!” he replied, smiling and once more capturing her hands, but this time he took them to his lips. “We will be married in the family chapel at Lordings as soon as you are able to make your arrangements. You will have need of bride’s clothes and I will arrange with my secretary to supply you with whatever funds you require.”

She smiled shyly. “You have thought of everything, sir.”

“Richard, my dear, you must call me Richard. There is no need now for formality.”

“Richard,” she repeated, as if testing it for the first time and smiled as it sprang so readily to her lips.

*****

“Nineteen makes a poor mate for thirty-four, Richard,” Lady Victoria snapped, when he broke the news of his betrothal to her later that day. “There are too many years between you.”

“Save your breath dear sister,” the earl replied, the hardness of his tone conveying his indifference to her opinion. “The arrangements are made and a special license secured. We go to Lordings at the end of the week. We will deal well enough together. Was it not your wish that I should wed?”

“Are you in love with the child?”

“’Pon faith, will nothing satisfy you? I married once for love
—I shall not do so again. One such marriage was quite sufficient. I have become reconciled to the fact that I shall not succumb to such emotions again. Indeed, I would not welcome them. I am well past the age of infatuation and would not wish the sentiments it brings. Does that answer your question?”

“I don’t like this, Richard,” she replied, frowning heavily. “What of the child? What of her feelings in this matter? Surely, she deserves more than you are prepared to give? I cannot condone this marriage.”

Casting her a look of indifference he rose to leave the room. “It is of no matter. I was not looking for your approbation. I was but merely making you aware of my intentions which, although they may not meet with you approval, are none the less set in stone.”

Chapter
Four

“You are now the mistress of Lordings, my dear,” the earl said, smiling and raising his glass in a silent toast to his new wife as they sat alone over the remnants of the bridal supper. Caroline still wore the gown of ivory satin overlaid with knots of silver Belgian lace that she had worn for their wedding, and though the gown was the height of fashion, it did naught but accentuate her youth and innocence. At first sight of his young bride that morning, he had been overwhelmed by her naive beauty and several times throughout the day he had found himself viewing her anew. Victoria and her family had been the only wedding guests to grace the day and even they had deserted the couple for their journey home.

Caroline knew not what was expected of her. She too had cast covert glances at her husband as the day progressed, and still she could not believe that she was now an irrefutable part of his life. Now, forsaking the formality of the large dining room, they sat over an intimate supper set in the small salon.

“You may order the house as you please,” said the earl, attempting to put his new wife at ease. “Indeed, whatever refurbishment you think necessary you are at liberty to arrange. The only request I make of you is that you leave the library and my office unmolested, they are my only retreat.” Then almost as an afterthought he added, “There are also certain rooms in the east wing that are no longer used and need not be redecorated. Upon reflection, perhaps it would be easiest if you left the east wing completely alone.”

Caroline smiled at his thought that she would wish to make changes to his beautiful home. “I have no desire whatsoever to alter anything in the house. It is so very elegant and I have little knowledge of what would suit. I would change nothing.”

“Not even the hangings?” He chuckled and raised his brow. “Now, this is very un-wifely. Most new brides indulge in a fervor of refurbishment. I have heard tales where husbands have been banished to their clubs for fear they should interfere with their wife’s orderings.”

“You may have no fear on that head, sir. I would make no decisions without your full approval. Therefore you would need to remain.”

He appeared to study her for a moment, a profound look in his eyes but when she looked at him enquiringly, he turned to contemplating the glass of wine before him. “You are very young, my dear,” he said in a quiet tone. “I hope I haven’t thrust too heavy a responsibility on your shoulders. My reasons for marriage were entirely selfish and over the past few days, I have wondered whether I have treated you fairly. Are you entirely satisfied with the arrangement?”

“Entirely, sir,” she replied. “I would not have agreed to marry you had it been otherwise. I too, in my turn, have been selfish.” She would not tell him the extent of her selfishness, how even after so short an acquaintance, the thought of being separated from him had affected her so. His proposal had presented the reprieve for which she had not dared hope. Together they had gone to her aunt and informed her of their intention of marrying, being not at all surprise at her disinterest in the subject, and had returned to London with a clear conscience, knowing they had not deprived her of a companion.