Hold On (7 page)

As I hug him back, I think about how I still can’t wrap my head around the concept
that this man, who really could have any woman he wants, worries I’ll leave him.

He gives me a sweet kiss and turns to open the door. When he does, we see Serena standing
there. I swear she was eavesdropping. She’s so immature.

“Hi, Julian, I didn’t know you were here.” She gets a huge smile on her face and actually
has the nerve to try and hug him. He sidesteps her and walks toward the door. Her
face turns a little red and I know she’s embarrassed.

“Hola, Serena. Lexie, I’ll call you after dinner tonight, okay.”

I smile, nod, and watch him walk out the door.

Serena turns and looks at me, her smile gone. “And what are you telling him that made
him act so rude? I’ve known him for years, Lexie, a lot longer than you have and he’s
never been so rude to me.”

I doubt that. I shrug and give her a big, fake smile. “Nothing. We don’t talk about
you at all. He’s in a hurry. I guess he just doesn’t have time for you.”

She doesn’t know what to say, so she walks away. I really wish she would go find someplace
else to work. After she’s gone, I text my roommates.

Alexa:
Either of you down here today?

Both Marissa and Shannon are in sales and they come down to the beach regularly.

Shannon:
I am. Why? You ok?

Geez. Does there always have to be an issue?

Alexa:
I’m fine. Julian was going to drive me home but he had to go out of town last minute.
He gave me keys to his jeep but I don’t want to take it.
Shannon:
I can pick you up at 4.
Marissa:
I’m in Broward :-)
Alexa:
Perfect. Slow here
Shannon:
see ya

I doubt anyone will care I’m leaving early. I finish up a few loose ends and meet
Shannon outside at four. When I get in the car, I text Julian to let him know I didn’t
take his Jeep.

Alexa:
Shannon came and got me. Jeep at your house.

I send this text thinking that he’s probably in mid-flight. I don’t expect the quick
response I get.

Julian:
?? Not sure why you made her come get you. Makes no sense.
Alexa:
She was down here. Not a big deal. Really. Don’t make it one.
Julian:
Taking off. Talk to you later.

Shannon notices the look on my face and asks what’s wrong.

“He’s annoyed I didn’t take his Jeep.”

“Why didn’t you?”

I tell her about the moving my stuff in comments, the baby comment, and the marriage
comments. “It’s all a little much for me. I know it’s just a car, but he’s going full
steam ahead and I want things to be a little slower. I’m trying not to screw anything
up. I know it sounds weird but I just feel uncomfortable.”

“Do what feels right, Lex, but it’s just a car. And not even the Jag. I mean if he
was really serious, he would’ve let you use the Jag.” That comment makes me laugh;
it’s so true.

I didn’t see Ellen last week. I told her I was sick because I couldn’t deal with anything.
I’m in a much better place tonight and not dreading seeing her. Her door is open,
so I walk in and sit on the couch.

Her smile is warm. “Hi, Lexie, it’s good to see you. Are you feeling better?”

I feel bad I lied but oh well. It’s the least significant of lies I’ve told her. “I’m
good. It was a twenty-four hour thing.”

“Glad to hear it.” She jumps right in. “How have you been otherwise? What’s been going
on?”

I can’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice. “Oh you know how my life goes. Nothing and
everything.” I want to talk to her about what happened with Luke and with Julian,
but she doesn’t know everything so I can’t tell her the whole story. That’s the worst
part of withholding information; it’s hard to balance what to divulge.

She smiles. “Okay, then. Tell me the everything part.”

I give her the condensed version of what happened with Luke, Julian, and I. “Luke
and I aren’t talking anymore. He told me he loves me. I told him I’m with Julian.
Julian knows how Luke feels and that’s that.”

She stares at me quizzically for a moment. “That’s that? A seven-year friendship is
over and you’re fine with it?” Of course she doesn’t fall for my nonchalant attitude
about it. She knows how close Luke and I were.

“No, but what can I do? I’m with Julian and Luke decided he needed to share his feelings
with both of us. Apparently he was making Julian think he and I were together, so
now Julian hates him. He even quit working at the hotel. It’s all messed up. I fought
with Luke and I fought with Julian. Julian and I are good now, but Luke is out of
my life.”

“I’d be lying if I told you any of this surprises me. You had to have known Luke felt
this way and I’m not surprised Julian isn’t okay with it. You made a choice and I’m
sure it wasn’t easy. But, if you want to be with Julian, it really may have been your
only option.”

I want to tell her not to feel bad for Luke because he was a total asshole, but I
skip that part. I don’t want to talk about it anymore because I’m afraid she’ll figure
there’s more to the story. My pause gives her the green light to continue.

“And things are going okay with Julian? I’m happy to hear that.”

“Too good really. He’s always so patient and steady with me. It’s not normal.”

“Why is that? What isn’t normal about him having patience with you?”

“C’mon Ellen, we live in the real world with real people. It doesn’t work this way.
Seriously, I’ve been nothing but drama since day one and he just sticks around. Most
guys would’ve bailed weeks ago. I’ve never been with a guy who would put up with some
of the crap I’ve pulled.” I think about a few of my freak-outs. “It’s almost too good
to be true.”

“It sounds like he thinks you’re worth it, Lexie, and you need to believe that too.
There are good guys out there and it sounds like you found one. So, embrace it and
let him be there for you. It’s a good thing.”

I tell her about how fast he’s moving, how I didn’t want to take his car, and how
I don’t want to leave my things at his house. I tell her I’m not sure why it made
me so uncomfortable.

“Are you worried he’ll change his mind and sharing things like his closet or his car
will just make it harder if he leaves?”

I think about what she asked and answer truthfully. “Yes. I guess that’s what it is.
Last time he went out of town it was a big mess, I was a big mess. I tried to break-up
with him when he came back. If I had his car, it would’ve been worse. And if anything
of mine was at his house, it would’ve been a pain to get it back. You know I can’t
leave my shoes behind.” I try to make a joke about it but as the words come out of
my mouth, it really hits me that I’m still convinced this isn’t a long-term thing
and that Julian will eventually leave. Ellen voices what I just admitted in my head.

“You’re worried about the end of the relationship, so if you don’t have any real ties
it’s easier? Are you planning on ending it with him?”

“Me? No, I never plan stuff like that. I just get all worked up and decide I’m going
to be the leaver instead of the one left behind like I usually am. It would be worse
this time.”

“Why would it be worse?”

“Because he’s the one, Ellen. I know it. I’m just not convinced I’m the one for him.
Not in the same way.”

“Why is that?”

“Because he could have anyone: he’s gorgeous, rich, and he really is a great guy.
He’s a little like a prince in a fairy tale and I’m not so sure I’m princess material,
at least not right now.”

“So you’re not good enough for someone like him?”

I don’t want to admit that aloud, but yes, that’s pretty much how I feel. Deep down
I’m nursing some serious self-esteem wounds as a result of what happened with Brady.

“Julian has dated a lot of women, a lot, and never for long.” For some reason my mind
thinks about Cinderella and how Prince Charming went all over the countryside looking
for the girl who’s foot fit in the glass slipper. I can easily make a parallel to
my life, being obsessed with shoes and all.

“The glass slipper hasn’t fit anyone yet and I’m not sure it fits me either.”

“If I look confused, Lexie, it’s because I am. Didn’t you tell me he told you he loved
you and that he’s talking to you about things like moving in and babies? That doesn’t
sound like a man who’s planning on leaving soon.” She pauses for a moment and then
finishes her train of thought. “Do you trust him? Because if so, you need to hold
on to what you have together and trust what he’s telling you is true. To use your
analogy, it sounds like he wants you to be the one wearing the slippers.”

I look down at my shoes and laugh sarcastically. “Trust isn’t my strong suit, Ellen.
You know that.”

“I get it, but if you want to make this work, you’re going to need to trust him and
you’re going to need to trust yourself. And by the way, the car, the shoes, and shampoo
are completely irrelevant and you know that. It sounds like you’ve already given Julian
your heart and no matter what happens, that’s something you can’t uneasily undo. You
might as well let go and live because from where I’m sitting, the only thing you have
to lose is him.”

I think about Ellen’s words on my way home. I’m a little disappointed in myself. I
kept trying to convince myself the reason I wanted Julian to slow down was because
we’ve only been together such a short amount of time. But the truth is, I get why
he talks about wanting more. I know this is different and I know it’s serious, no
matter the length of time. I just don’t want Julian to wake up one day and realize
the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. I’m so over myself.

Marissa is home when I get there; I make myself some popcorn and join her on the couch.
We’re watching a re-run of Project Runway when my phone rings. It’s Julian. I can’t
help but smile. I answer the phone as I walk into my room. “Hey you. I didn’t expect
to hear from you this early.” It’s only a little after eight.

“Hey yourself. I miss you.”

My smile grows. “I miss you too.”

“I only have a minute. I had to take a call from the hotel so I thought I’d check
in with you too. No going dark this time, right?”

I laugh. “No plans on going dark on this end. How are things going?” I’m curious about
his dad more than work and he must know that.

“Actually fine. My dad is good, which is always a plus, and this really is going to
be a good deal for the company. So far so good, but the night is young.”

“Glad to hear it. Call me when you get done. Doesn’t matter what time, okay?”

“Okay.”

I fall asleep close to eleven and Julian still hasn’t called. I don’t stress about
it though which is a step in the right direction. I’m tired from not sleeping last
night, so it’s not hard to fall asleep. I do put the phone next to my head on the
pillow.

The phone rings around eleven-thirty. I’m already in a pretty deep sleep but I hear
it. I answer and put it up to my ear. “Hey you.”

“Hey, baby. You were asleep. Lo siento.”

“It’s okay, I wanted to talk to you.” My voice is coated with the remnants of sleep.

“Go back to sleep and we can talk in the morning. Sweet dreams, Lexie.”

“Night, Julian. I hope I dream about you.”

“Me too, Corazón, me too.”

Chapter Six

I wake up feeling good. I feel rested and ready for the day. I didn’t dream of Julian
but I didn’t dream at all. I think that may be better. I get a text from Andrea as
I’m getting ready for work asking me to stop by The Towers to pick up some marketing
material to bring to The Promenade.

I take advantage of the extra errand and get there just before nine. There aren’t
any customers so Ramon, Lauren, and I get to catch up over coffee. I’ve only been
gone a few days and it feels like forever. I stay as long as I think I can get away
with before I head down to the beach.

Andrea and Mark are both in the trailer when I get there and I feel bad I took so
long. They don’t seem fazed so I don’t make a big deal of it. They call all of us
into the room we’re using as a conference area for an impromptu meeting. Andrea proceeds
to tell us we’ll be moving into the bottom floor of the building starting Monday.
I think we’re all excited about the news. This space is really too small for us. Actually,
no amount of room is big enough for me and Serena. She also tells us about the grand
opening event as well as what’s expected of us. After the meeting, I head back to
my office with my list of things I need to do and Andrea joins me a few minutes later.

“Is Julian coming as your date?”

I chuckle. “That’s the plan. He knew about this about five seconds after I did. He
insists. It’s not weird is it?”

“I forgot you weren’t around for the last one. I should’ve given you some more notice.
You guys may be slow here but I’ve been slammed getting ready for this. Bywater does
the same type of event and we go to those. It’s a good opportunity to spy with permission.
And no, it’s not weird he’s your date. You really will be working though, or networking,
so there’s not much time for you to party, so to speak.”

“Good to know.” I don’t tell her I’m freaking out over the possibility his family
will be there too. As she walks out I ask her the final, most important question.
“What do people wear? Cocktail attire?”

“It’s a pretty upscale event, so yes. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this because
you always look good, but again, it’s a work event, so keep it classy.”

“You mean I can’t wear the hot pink, sequined dress I just bought. Damn!”

I hear her laugh as she walks away. Seriously though, I am going to need to go shopping.

I talk to Julian a few times throughout the day and night. He’s really making an effort
to stay in touch and I let him know I appreciate it. He was planning on getting home
sometime on Friday but now he says it may not be until Saturday morning. It looks
like they’re finalizing the details for the sale. He’s in a good mood, so I assume
all is going well.

On Friday, I get a text from Lauren asking if I want to go out. I agree and send a
text to Marissa, Shannon, and Jenna. They all want to go out and they think going
to Stellar is the best plan. I think about it for a while and agree it’s stupid to
go someplace else when my boyfriend owns the hottest club in South Beach, especially
when we can get the total VIP treatment for free. I feel sad when I think about Luke.
I’ve never been there when he wasn’t behind the bar. It’ll be strange.

I send Julian a text letting him know what my plans are.

Alexa:
Hey, the girls and I want to go out tonight. Know any good clubs?

I don’t hear back from him for about thirty minutes and figure he’s busy. When I do
hear back, I’m reminded who I’m dealing with.

Julian:
VIP/bottle for six. Let me know ASAP if you want cabana. See Marty to get in. Park
in my spot.
Alexa:
Sweet! Thanks. Helps to be sleeping with the boss I guess
.

Julian:
So you’re using me for free drinks and good seats?
Alexa:
That and your body. Don’t forget I’m fond of that too
.
Julian:
Feel free to use my body anytime you want, baby.
Alexa:
Deal. Tomorrow?
Julian:
It’s a date.
Alexa:
Thanks for taking care of that for us. Girls will be thrilled.
Julian:
Anything for you. Be good.
Alexa:
Good?
Julian:
Yes, good.
Alexa:
I’ll try :-).

By good I’m assuming he’d prefer I don’t get hammered. I don’t ask though. I have
every intention of being good.

It doesn’t take me very long to get ready; I’ve been thinking about what to wear since
we decided to go out. I’m wearing a pair of off-white shorts that have a yellow, brown,
and green floral print around the hem. I’m also wearing a sheer black, loose-fitting,
gauzy top with thin straps that hang off the shoulders. I have a black bra underneath
that covers what it needs to but the shirt is pretty revealing. I’m wearing a pair
of nude, patent leather, Jessica Simpson heels with black, elastic straps that cross
at the ankle. There’s a single strap above my toes which helps keep my feet in the
5 1/2 inch heels. They’re platforms and easier to walk in than most shoes that high.
I feel super tall in them. I pull the top part of my hair back, pouf it up a little,
and secure it with a tiny clip that blends into my hair. I leave the rest down in
natural waves. I add a long gold chain, a few gold bangles, and some hoop earrings.
I look in the mirror for a few minutes and admire my outfit. I look good and wish
Julian was here to see me.

Jenna and Lauren are waiting in the living room when I walk in. Everyone but Jenna
has a glass of wine in their hands so I pour myself a glass as well. We chat for a
little while so we can all finish our drinks. Jenna offers to drive. We usually take
turns being the DD. It really is my turn but I get off the hook because I have set
up a VIP night. Well Julian did, but it’s because of me. Not to mention I was the
DD many times during the year I was a recluse.

Our only stop is the hotel. Nobody was in the mood to go out to eat beforehand so
we just headed to the hotel. We park in Julian’s spot like he said to. As usual there’s
already a line and it’s such a bonus to be able to skip it. Marty sees us before we
even get to the front and waves at me. “Hello, Alexa. Julian told me to keep an eye
out for you. There are six of you?”

I bet he told him to look out for me. “Just five, Marty.”

He opens the rope and lets us walk through. I hear comments from people in line about
how unfair it is we get to cut the line. It makes me smile. I want to turn around
and tell them I get to cut the line because the owner loves me, but of course I don’t.
I think it though and it makes me feel great. We immediately head to Stellar and when
we walk in the door, Ruben is there to meet us. He kisses me on the cheek like we’re
old friends and shows us to the table Julian reserved for us. It’s all very hoity-toity
and not really our style but we roll with it. Ruben lets us know we have an open tab
and can order anything we want. As he walks away, I hear the girls giggling.

“Holy shit, Lex. If you don’t want Julian, I do. I could get so used to this.” Jenna
is looking around and feeling important.

“Easy Stewart, he’s all mine.”

A waiter comes by to take our order and we collectively decide to do a shot of tequila
to get the night started. We also agree we aren’t going to do more than one shot.
Pretty soon one shot turns to two and when Jenna says she’s done because she needs
to drive home in a few hours, we all really agree to stop the shots. I’m having a
great time but I can’t stop thinking about Luke. It feels so weird to not be able
to go up to Orion and see him. I try not to let it get me down and decide to stay
in Stellar for the night. I grab the girls and we head out to the dance floor and
get lost in the throngs of people. I’m dancing and feeling good when I feel someone’s
hands around my waist. I spin around quickly on my heel and find Danny standing next
to me. Spinning wasn’t a good idea in these shoes; I stumble a little.

His hand is still on my arm and he holds me up. “Hola, Lexie. Are you okay?”

I roll my eyes at him. “Hi, Danny. I’m fine. Are you here to spy on me?” I’m only
half kidding. I have no doubt Julian asked him to stop by.

“No. I’m here with Steve and Marco. Having a good time, just like you.”

He’s not a good liar. “So that’s your story?”

He laughs and knows he’s busted. “Sí, and I’m sticking to it.”

I move off the floor where we can talk. “Where’s Gabby?”

He looks uncomfortable. “Not here. We’re kind of taking a break.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” And I am. I like Gabby.

He changes the subject. “Who are you here with?”

I introduce Jenna and Lauren to Danny, Steve, and Marco. Marissa and Shannon give
them all hugs. I immediately see sparks between Jenna and Marco and he asks her to
dance. I also see a flash of something cross Danny’s face when he looks at Lauren,
who looks great in a very tight, very short, black mini dress. He’s attracted to her.
Ugh. I don’t want to get involved in this. I turn to talk to Steve when Lauren grabs
my arm and spins me around to look at her. I almost fall again. Fuck.

“What the hell?” I right myself as I ask the question.

“Incoming, Lexie. Serena is walking this way with two girls. She’s headed right for
us.”

My heart starts to race a little and I take a deep breath to calm down. That girl
is a serious buzz-kill. I swear she’s here because she heard me say I was coming.
I move in and whisper to Danny, “Serena is headed this way with two other girls.”

He looks behind him and when he turns back around, his smile is gone. He grabs my
hand and starts to pull me in the other direction. What the hell is going on? I pull
my hand back. “What’s going on, Danny? I can handle her, stop freaking out.”

“She’s with Yvette, my cousin … and Alejandra …”

The name of Julian’s ex-fiancé dangles in the air and now I get why he was trying
to help me escape. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m not ready for this. Unfortunately by the
time I get my feet to move, it’s too late and they’re standing right in front of us.
I try not to look at Alejandra, focusing on Serena instead. She looks a little trashy
in a too small, too red halter dress. Her red lipstick makes her look like a clown
and I want to tell her so but I restrain myself by biting my lip inside my mouth.

I start to turn my head to look at Danny for help when I’m hugged by the one I assume
is Yvette. Yvette is tall, like Julian and Danny, and shares the same brown hair,
green eyes, and perfect skin. Her smile is all straight white teeth and she sounds
sincere when she introduces herself to me. “Alexa, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Yvette,
Danny and Julian’s cousin. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Yeah, from Serena I bet. I pull out of her embrace, which has made me extremely uncomfortable.
I look at my friends and they’re all speechless. “It’s nice to meet you Yvette. These
are my friends, Marissa, Lauren, and Shannon.” She glances at them, smiles a little,
and lands her gaze on Danny. He looks mad and I’m sure he knows this is so uncomfortable
for me. Yvette looks back at me and introduces me to her friends.

“Well, you know Serena already. This is Alejandra.” She emphasizes the name as if
to say, the Alejandra. You know, Julian’s ex-fiancé.

I’m finally forced to look at her.

Alejandra Garces isn’t at all what I’d imagined. She’s strikingly beautiful, which
isn’t surprising, but she’s tiny, like really short and very voluptuous. My perception
might be clouded because I’m wearing super high heels, but even with her heels on,
she must be only like five-three. I don’t know why this surprises me except that every
single one of the other women I know Julian has been with are tall and skinny. I thought
I was the short, not skinny one. Alejandra has long, thick, jet-black hair that hangs
straight down her back and big brown eyes. She looks so Latina, and I don’t mean that
in a bad way. Again, I haven’t seen Julian with any Latinas and I’m a certified gringa
and totally blonde. We couldn’t look any more different which makes me happy. I’m
thinking all of these things as she reaches her hand out to shake mine. She offers
a little smile to go along with her hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Alexa.”

Um okay. I’m not feeling it. I’d be happy to have never met her and I’m sure if she
really did want to meet me, it was only to see who managed to keep Julian’s attention
for more than five minutes. I really don’t feel friendly, especially with Serena glaring
at me, but I turn the fake on for the benefit of Yvette, who is Julian’s family.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Alejandra.” I can’t say I’ve heard a lot about her because
I haven’t and I’m not going to let her know I just found out about her three days
ago. An awkward silence follows the introductions. It lasts a few moments until Steve
comes to my rescue and grabs Alejandra’s hand and brings her to the dance floor. I
thank him with my eyes and he smiles. Danny grabs my hand and walks with me toward
the table. My friends follow. So do Yvette and Serena. When Danny notices them he
lets go of my hand and pulls Yvette to the side. They’re still standing close enough
so I can hear the conversation.

“You need to go hang out some place else, Yvette.”

She pouts and shakes her head. “Why? I didn’t do anything.”

“Really? Do you think Lexie wants to hang out with Alejandra or vice versa?”

“We can all be adults, can’t we? Maybe I want to get to know her better.”

“Then call and invite her to lunch, Yvette. I know you and you’re up to something.
Julian is going to be pissed.”

“Who cares if Julian is pissed? He has no reason to be mad. Why is he hiding her anyway
if they’re serious like you said? It’s all so hush hush.”

“Just go away and take Serena and Alejandra with you. I love you but your taste in
friends is questionable at best.” He leans in and gives her a kiss and I see real
affection between them.

“Fine, for you, Danny, and because I don’t feel like getting shit from Julian.”