How to Build a Fire: And Other Handy Things Your Grandfather Knew (6 page)

2
Fixing
•  •  •

With a good set of tools and a little elbow grease, you can make a happier home
.

Get Screwed
•  •  •

“You’ve got to have a halfway decent hammer, not too heavy, not too light. It should do the work for you.”

—J
OE
T
OTH

H
OW TO
A
SSEMBLE A
G
OOD
T
OOL
K
IT

Step 1:
Buy the basics, and don’t cheap out, either. Good, quality tools will not only get the job done more quickly and safely, but they’ll also last you a lifetime, saving you money in the long run. Plus, they’ll make you look like you know what you’re doing. Invest in:

• A hammer: A sixteen-ouncer will drive any nail. Old-school wooden handles are fine, but fiberglass or graphite handles absorb the shock better. Make sure it has a curved claw on its rear end, too, so you can remove old or wonky nails.
  
• Two screwdrivers: You’ll need a four-pointed Phillips-head screwdriver and a flathead screwdriver. Higher quality usually means a harder tip, which helps prevent bending, chipping, or breaking. If you can splurge, get two of each, with different head sizes.
  
• Two pairs of pliers: Pick up a pair of adjustable pliers that won’t slip when you grip, and a set of needle-nose with rubber-coated handles for added safety.
  
• A measuring tape: Get a long, fat one—twenty-five feet by one inch thick. That way, if you have to measure something big, it won’t go limp. Plus, it’ll look cooler, hanging from your belt. You know what they say about a person with a big measuring tape? Good measurer.
  
• A utility knife: Nab a metal one with replaceable blades, not a plastic one, or it’ll surely crack.
  
• A level: A two-footer will set you straight.
  
• A handsaw: A fourteen-inch handsaw will probably fit in your box, and it’ll be sturdy enough to make any necessary cuts. If you prefer to go high-tech, pick up a circular saw.
  
• Fasteners: Pick up a good assortment of screws, nails, and anchors—and if you plan on hanging pictures, some hooks and wire.
  
• A stud finder: It’ll make hanging things much easier.
  

Step 2:
Invest in safety gear. Now, don’t just roll your eyes at this one, or you may not have two eyes to roll for long. Always wear goggles to protect your peepers. One sliver of a split nail can do more damage than you can probably imagine. Also, pick up a decent pair of leather work gloves to protect your hands and keep them soft. (You may not care about that last part now, but someday your sweetie will.) If you plan on sanding things, invest in a dust mask as well.

Step 3:
Box them up. Get a good metal box with a sturdy clasp. When in doubt, choose red. You’ll never lose it, and you’ll look good carrying it, too.

More Handy Tips

• Good tools last forever. If they’re too expensive at your local hardware store, consider picking them up at a local flea market. You can usually find some great deals there.
  
• Got a little extra to spend? Invest in a cordless drill, and a set of drill bits, too.
  
• Be generous with your tools. If a friend or neighbor asks to borrow one, allow it. And if you need to borrow a tool from someone else, just be sure to return it as soon as you finish the task at hand.
  

Get Hammered
•  •  •

“You always had to have a couple of nails in your pocket and a hammer handy.”

—P
HILIP
S
POONER

H
OW TO
D
RIVE A
N
AIL

Step 1:
Place your nail. Pinching the shaft of the nail between the forefinger and thumb of your weaker hand, hold it in where you’d like it to go and at the angle you’d like to drive it.

Step 2:
Set your nail. Choke up on your hammer, holding it about halfway up the handle, and then gently tap the nail into place. Once it sticks, remove your hand from the nail. You don’t want to leave your fingers in the danger zone for any longer than you have to.

Step 3:
Finish the job. To get the maximum leverage, move your grip down the handle of your hammer until your hand is just a couple of inches from its base. Then, using your wrist and elbow, not your shoulder, swing your hammer to drive the nail. The fewer the strokes, the better you’ve done (and the less sore you’ll be tomorrow). When your nail is flush with the surface, you’re finished!

More Handy Tips

• Always watch your nail, not your hammer, or you’ll end up with a smushed thumb.
  
• If you whack your thumb, bite your lip, wag your hand vigorously, utter a few choice words (if you’re alone), and then try it again. Only this time, you know, aim better.
  

Make Room
•  •  •

“I believe in being patient. I don’t rush. There’s a wrong way and a right way, and I’m doing it the right way.”

—J
OE
T
OTH

H
OW TO
H
ANG
D
RYWALL

Step 1:
Gather your supplies. You’ll need loads of stuff, so get ready: drywall, drywall tape, joint compound, metal corner beads, a level, shims, a drill, drywall screws, a five-inch-wide knife, a ten-inch-wide knife, a pole sander, sandpaper of various grits, and the phone number of your favorite pizza shop.

Step 2:
Check your studs. Hold a level or straightedge across the face of your studs to make sure they’re all standing even. Shim any low spots, and shave or sand any high spots. It’s a drag, but it’ll be well worth it in the long run.

Step 3:
Place your drywall. Starting at the lower left-hand corner of the wall, fit your drywall horizontally against the studs. The bottom edge of the board should be flush with your floor, and the right edge of your board should end in the middle of a stud. If your drywall doesn’t end in the middle of a stud, you’ll have to cut it, but don’t worry. It’s no big wup. To do so, just measure the length of the wall from the corner to the stud’s center. Mark that length on the face of your drywall, and draw a cut line. Then lay a straightedge along that line and score your drywall, using a utility knife. Be gentle; you don’t have to muscle it. Next, stand your board on end and snap it from behind. Sometimes a little knock of the knee does the trick. Using your utility knife, cut the paper on the back of the board. All done, and ready to go!

Step 4:
Screw it in. Using a drill, fasten your drywall screws through the drywall and into the center stud at twelve-inch intervals. Then work your way out, driving in screws every twelve inches on every stud.

Step 5:
Work horizontally. Continue across the bottom of your wall, fitting your drywall side by side until you’ve come full circle. Remember, each piece of drywall should begin and end midway on a stud.

Step 6:
Start a second row, making sure you stagger the seams to help hide the joints and strengthen the wall. Repeat until your entire wall is covered. Then order a pizza and chill. You can deal with the seams tomorrow.

Step 7:
Fill the joints. Now you’re going to smooth your walls so the seams are imperceptible. Using a five-inch knife, spread a thin layer of joint compound into each seam and over each screw hole, scraping off any excess.

Step 8:
Tape the joints. While the compound is still wet, unroll an arm’s length of drywall tape, center it over the seam, and press it down so it’s smooth. Run the tape to the end of the board, hold your knife perpendicularly against it, and rip the tape. Finally, smooth the tape with your knife, working your way from the center out and removing any excess mud.

Step 9:
Tape the inside corners. Cut a piece of tape the length of the corner, fold it in half lengthwise, and press it into the compound you’ve already spread into the corner. Smooth out the tape, using your knife.

Step 10:
Bead the outside corners. Attach a piece of metal corner bead on every outside corner, where two pieces of drywall meet, using drywall screws. Smooth compound over the bead. Let it dry overnight.

Step 11:
Sand all of your joints, using a pole sander affixed with 120-grit sandpaper. Wear a mask while you do this, because it’s dusty work.

Step 12:
Apply more joint compound, this time using a ten-inch knife. Be sure to fill in any indentations, and then let it dry overnight. Sand with 120-grit paper. Have patience, and repeat once more: Feather the compound, let it dry, and this time sand with ultrafine, 200-grit paper.

Step 13:
Go pick out some cool paint colors. You’re ready to paint!

More Handy Tips

• If you’ve got a naked ceiling, too, hang your drywall up there first. Do the walls second.
  
• Mark the location of your studs when you put up the first row to avoid guesswork later on.
  
• Stop screwing when your drywall ever-so-slightly dimples. If you screw too deeply, you’ll rip the paper and crush your wall. If you screw too lightly, you’ll see every screw, even through the paint.
  
• If you’re hanging drywall around a window or door, stagger your seams so they don’t end at the edge of either fixture. Otherwise, your walls will be weak.
  
• You’ll know your joint compound is dry when it turns white. Gray compound means it’s still wet. Red compound means you got some pizza sauce in there. Try to be a little more careful.
  
• If you’re hanging drywall over an electrical outlet, measure the distance to the outlet, its height and width, and cut it out of your board, using a utility knife or a drywall knife, before you hang it.
  

Make Your Mark
•  •  •

“Painting isn’t hard. Before when you had the brush, it was rough, but not now with the roller. I painted a room in three hours. The hardware store will mix any paint the color you want. They’ve got so many colors, it’s ridiculous. Naturally, they’ll want to sell you the best, but you don’t really need it.”

—A
L
S
ULKA

H
OW TO
P
AINT A
R
OOM

Step 1:
Prep your space. Remove all curtains and blinds, switch covers, and electrical plates, and move out as much furniture as you can. The emptier your room, the easier it is to paint. If you can’t clear it entirely, move whatever’s left to the center of the room and cover it, and all your floors, with tarp, taped down at the edges with painter’s tape. Also, apply tape to the edges of any woodwork, windows, or doors you’d like to protect.

Step 2:
Scrub your walls, using warm, soapy water. Rinse them with a damp towel, then allow them to dry.

Step 3:
Make repairs. Fill any dings or dents with joint compound or spackle and a putty knife; let this dry. Then sand and wipe clean with a damp sponge. Fill any gaps along the ceiling, floor, or molding with painter’s caulk. Smooth with a damp finger.

Step 4:
Prepare to paint. Invest in decent paint, opting for one with low or, even better, no volatile organic compounds (VOCs). It’s better for you and the environment. You’ll need about a gallon for every 350 square feet of wall space. Also, gather any other supplies: a roller, a roller extension, two- to three-inch angled brushes, a paint tray, a few rags, and a ladder. Then pop your paint can and give it a good stir.

Step 5:
Cut in at the edges. Because your roller can’t fit everywhere, dip your small angled paintbrush into your paint and very carefully run it along the edges of your room and in the corners. Give yourself a good three-inch bumper.

Step 6:
Roll it on. Carefully pour some paint into your rolling tray, coat your roller, and run it over the tray’s grates several times to even out the paint. Then crisscross your roller over the wall. (Imagine painting a V or W, and then crossing it out with vertical lines.) Let it dry, being sure to cover your paint cans and wash out your brushes with warm soapy water. (Use a solvent if you’re using oil-based paints.)

Step 7:
Add a second coat, revel in your handiwork, and move your stuff back in.

More Handy Tips

• Prime your walls before painting if they’re new or you’re going from a darker color to a lighter one.
  
• Always paint from high to low, since gravity causes any paint splatters to fall. Start with the ceiling and work your way down.
  
• Canvas tarps work better than plastic ones, because they’re heavier and absorbent. They’re also more ecological.
  
• Never paint directly from the can. Always pour it into a cup or tray, so you don’t spoil your mother batch with dust or brush hairs.
  
• When choosing your paint color, get free chips at the hardware store and tape them to your wall. Look at them in the daylight and at night, because the color will change in different lighting. The larger the wall, the darker the paint will look.
  
• To make a small space feel more open, choose lighter, cooler colors, like blues and greens, and paint the ceiling a shade of white to make it look higher. Sunset colors, like red, yellow, and orange, are like hugs. They make you feel cozy.
  
• The higher-gloss paint you use, the easier your walls will be to clean. Still, unless you’re painting a soon-to-be-greasy burger joint, skip the high-gloss paint; it’s just too darn shiny. Instead, use semi-gloss; it’s perfect for doors and windows and in kitchens and bathrooms. Try eggshell or satin finishes on everything else to give your walls a warm, velvety quality. Be wary of flat paint; the low-gloss factor means you’ll probably have to add another coat whenever you see any marks, stains, or imperfections.