How to Build a Fire: And Other Handy Things Your Grandfather Knew (25 page)

Take the Lead
•  •  •

“If you make a mistake when you dance, who cares? Feel free. Float!”

—J
OE
T
OTH

H
OW TO
G
ENTLY
G
UIDE
Y
OUR
D
ANCE
P
ARTNER
(W
ITHOUT
S
AYING A
W
ORD)

Step 1:
Lead with your body. Be strong, but gentle, and communicate your intention to your partner by shifting your entire frame, not just your hands or, worse, your big eyeballs. Never shove or yank your partner around the dance floor, or you’ll be dancing alone very soon.

Step 2:
Know some moves. If you don’t know how to move on the dance floor, how do you expect to lead someone else? Have a few basic steps in your back pocket, and know at least a few beats ahead of time what you’d like to do next.

Step 3:
Make her look good. Your ultimate goal is to show your dance partner a good time, and that will happen if she feels happy and swept up in the music. Don’t make dancing with you a test or a teaching moment. If she’s a beginner, stick with simple steps, allowing her to feel confident and graceful in your arms. If you do that, you’ll surely get a second dance.

More Handy Tips

• Keep your eyes open and lead your partner into empty space on the dance floor. If she gets an elbow to the ribs or someone else crashes into her, that’s on you, buddy. You’re driving.
  
• Never correct your partner on the dance floor, unless she asks for pointers.
  
• Look your dance partner in the eyes and smile. If you’re knitting your brows, you’re concentrating too hard on the moves and not enough on your partner.
  
• Before you ask anyone to dance, check your breath and your pits. Nobody wants to be twirled by a stinker, even if you’ve got moves.
  
• Try to move to the beat, if at all possible, and pay attention to how she’s moving, too. Her hips won’t lie. If, by the end of the song, she’s in your arms, smiling, ask her for another spin. The night is still young, and you’re off to a great start.
  

Acknowledgments
•  •  •

I had so much help writing this book, so here is a huge, heartfelt thank-you:

To all of the wonderful grandfathers who shared their stories and wisdom with me. Especially Joe Babin of Cleveland, Ohio, who taught me what it takes to support a family; Buck Buchanan, who always remembers what’s important; Bill Holloman, who regaled me with tales of his amazing adventures; Bob Kelly, who reminded me to always follow my dreams; Angel Rodriguez, who welcomed me into his home and served me delicious Cuban pastries; Philip Spooner, who taught me how important it is to stand up for what you believe in; Al Sulka, who gave me so many belly laughs; Chuck Tatum, who taught me what it really means to be brave; Joe Toth, who showed me his drawn-to-scale dollhouse plans over tea and brownies with his family; and Frank Walter, who reminded me that if you’re lucky enough to find true love, do whatever you can to hang on to it. I feel honored to know each of you.

To my editors, Kerri Buckley and Jill Schwartzman, for your kindness, support, enthusiasm, and expert eyes; and all my friends at Random House, including Jane von Mehren, Melissa Possick, Leigh Marchant, Theresa Zoro, Katie Rudkin, Tom Nevins, Stacy Berenbaum, and Rebecca Shapiro. Thank you for taking this small idea and helping me make it big.

To all of the modern-day experts who offered their guidance on some of the more technical tips, including: mountain man Brody Henderson, general manager and guide at Alpine River Outfitters in Vail, Colorado; Gennaro Brooks-Church, director of Eco Brooklyn, a green contracting outfit in New York; car whisperer John Huff, service manager at Dave Hallman Hyundai in Erie, Pennsylvania; Jeffrey Klein, director of the Graduate Leadership Program and Wharton Leadership Ventures at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia; money whiz Jonathan F. Walsh, a certified public accountant in New York City; Joe Marchesi, co-founder of Truman’s Gentlemen’s Groomers in New York City; Sam Buffa, co-owner of F.S.C. Barber in New York City; dog behavior counselor Rikke Brogaard, owner of Rikke Brogaard’s Positive Dog Training in Brooklyn; Karen Keough-Huff, athletic director of Amherst Regional High School in Amherst, Massachusetts; Jim Morgans, head football coach at Parkland High School in Orefield, Pennsylvania; Sara Reid Land, former all-county diver and diving coach in North East, Pennsylvania; dandy and shopkeeper Charles Henry of the
FineAndDandyShop.com
; Sheila C. Ribordy, Ph.D., professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago; Nicole Brier, a personal chef in Brooklyn; Aaron Sigmond of Nat Sherman, a tobacconist in New York City; and Lauren Purcell, co-author of
Cocktail Parties, Straight Up!

To Aunt Kathy, who gave me my first professional writing assignment in her local paper. Before I even had a clue about anything, you gave me a shot, and I’ll never forget it.

To my parents, Bill and Claire, for lovingly cheering me on in all that I do, and my in-laws, Norm and Shirley, for teaching me how to build the best driftwood fires on the beach.

To Holly Bemiss, my literary agent and my everything else. Thank you for always inspiring me, championing me, and helping me discover the adventure in every new day.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

E
RIN
B
RIED
is a senior staff writer at
SELF
magazine and the author of
How to Sew a Button: And Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew
. She lives with her better half in Brooklyn, New York, where she plays dominoes, wields power tools, and eats homemade ice cream as often as possible.