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She now sprang up from the couch. She couldn't stand any more of this. She would have to go. It was ridiculous, humiliating. Her mother had said to her

before she left, Ìt pains me, dear, 487 it pains me. Why must you go over there again?Ànd she had answered, `Well, it doesn't pain me; I know where I stand.Ànd in answer to this her mother had said pityingly, Òh, my dear. My dear.`

Well, she was not going to pity herself.

She surprised him by coming into the kitchen and saying, Ì've just remembered that Elizabeth, Robert's fiancée is visiting this afternoon. I'll have to get back.`

Ì've just mashed the tea.`

Ì'm sorry; I should have remembered.`

He followed her out of the kitchen and into the yard, and as she backed the pony and trap from the barn he looked at her in some surprise, saying, `What is it? Have I annoyed you?`

Òh, no, not at all. It's just that ... well, I'm not very fond of Elizabeth and I was really trying to avoid the meeting, although I know that was very bad of me. So do excuse me.`

When she was seated in the trap, the reins in her hand, he put out his hand and caught her arm, saying,

`But I'll see you again, surely?`

`Well, if I can manage it. I don't

know.`

`Janie; what is it? I can't let you go like this. Look, I've been hit from all sides these last couple of days.

Please don't go. I mean, like this.`

She swallowed deeply. The lump in her throat was about to burst and her voice was cracked as she said, Ì'll try to make it, but I won't promise.` Then, `Gee up! there, Paddy.Ànd the horse trotted out of the yard, leaving him standing gazing after her, his mind in a whirl with questions seeming to be stotting off his brain like bouncing balls. Why, when she had been so kind, so thoughtful. It couldn't be that ..."

No, no. She was all set to marry this fellow in Holland. She had said as much. Then what was wrong with her?

He turned now and looked towards the house. He was looking at the side that formed part of the courtyard, but he was seeing beyond it into the big emptiness of it. He didn't think he could stand much more. He would sell up. Yes, that's what he'd do, he'd sell up.

489

7

During the following week, what time he didn't spend on the farm, and the short time it took to eat cold victuals washed down with strong tea, he spent in the study working out what a decent harvest would bring in--even with the prices as low as they were for corn, there was a good return for root crops--and further, what the farm and the house and the furniture would be likely to bring at the present market price; and finally, the amount that would be left after he had cleared the mortgage, which wasn't all that much now.

And so it was Saturday again, and Janie had not put in an appearance. It was with the hope that she might still come that he sent Alex into the market with the cart and the odds and ends of produce that were available. And while he spent the morning tidying up the kitchen and the drawing-room, and even flicking the dust from the furniture in the hall, he asked himself, if she did come, then would it be her last visit?

He did not attempt to cook a meal but made a pan of broth, and at twelve o'clock he drank a bowl of it, ate a shive of cold pork and bread, then went upstairs and changed into his best suit. And standing before the mirror brushing his hair back, he heard his own voice say aloud, `What difference is it going to make?ònly to swing about quickly as a voice came from the hall, calling, Ànyone at home?`

When he reached the head of the stairs he saw her standing in the hall. She was dressed in a long fawn coat with a fur collar that had tails hanging from it over her shoulders, and on her head she had a soft brown velour hat. It had a large brim and was trimmed with a pale pink ribbon. He had never seen her in this attire; she had seemed always to favour tweeds. She looked taller, rather elegant. When he reached the foot of the stairs it was she who spoke again, saying, Òh, you were going out?`

`No, no. I just thought I had to get changed. I never knew housework messed one up so much.`

She smiled now, saying, `You've been cleaning up?`

Àttempting. I'm going to advertise for help and I didn't want them to be frightened away by the muck. Come on.` He 491 made a gesture towards the drawing-room, adding, `The ashes are out.`

Ì bet you left those to the last.`

`No, I didn't, it was the first job I tackled.Ìt was like old times the way they were talking, not as if it was to be a parting.

Once in the drawing-room she stood and looked about her as she exclaimed, `My! my! you have been busy.`

`Well, I told you, I've just taken my apron off.` He laughed gently. And then he said, Ìt's no use asking if you've eaten; I'm sure you have.`

`Yes. Yes, we had dinner in town.`

Ànd you're all ready for the road then?`

`Yes, you could say that, all packed and ready.` She took her seat on the couch, noticing that the cushions had been puffed up.

`Monday, is it?`

`Yes, at eight o'clock in the morning. Father is nothing if not an early riser, and Mother's complaining all the time. She doesn't really want to go. You see, there's Robert's wedding arrangements; but as Father said, that's up to the bride's mother; the groom's people are just lookers on, although you wouldn't think so, with the invitations that are being sent out to cousins and nephews and nieces.`

Ìt's to be a big affair, then?`

`Yes. Oh, yes. Not that Robert wants it, but Elizabeth and her mother are definitely out for a big do.`

`How long are you likely to be away?`

Òh, a month or six weeks, I'm not sure. It all depends.`

She did not go on to say on what it all depended, and there was a short silence between them until she said, `Have you heard anything more from Moira?`

`No.`

`Have you written to her?`

`No.`

`You haven't?`

`That's what I said, no. No, I haven't.`

`Well, I should. She'll be worrying; I mean, about how you are taking her news.`

Òh, I think she'll have a pretty good idea of how I'm taking it, and the hole she's left me in. If things had gone as I 493 imagined, they would have all been back today. Do you realise that?`

`Yes. Yes, I do, and that's why I popped over.`

`You mean you wouldn't have otherwise come over to say goodbye?`

`Well`--she shrugged her shoulders--Ì really didn't see the necessity. Whatever happens in Holland, I'll be coming back in a few weeks' time. It isn't as if I was leaving the country for ever.`

`No, no, there's that in it.Ànd following another short silence he said, `Would you like a cup of tea?`

She turned and faced him now, and then she smiled, `Yes,` she said, `Yes, I would, but I'll make it. For the last time, I'll make it.`

`What! In that rig-out?`

Òh, I can take my coat and hat off and leave them in the hall.`

`You really want to do that?`

`Yes. Yes, I'd like to, for it will be the last time, because the next time I come here you will likely have a maid or two. And I used to enjoy making the tea when Moira was here. Yes, I'd like to do that.Às she rose from the couch he rose, too, and followed her to the door, and watched her take the pin out of her hat, then divest herself of her coat and lay them on a hall chair. He noticed that she was wearing a blue woollen dress, drawn tight in the waist by a broad scarlet belt, accentuating the full skirt. She looked different today somehow. He wondered why he had always considered her so plain. She was walking on towards the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Then he heard a voice say, `You?ànd the sound of it seemed to fling open a door in his chest.

Janie looked at Frances Talbot and she answered, `Yes, me. Yes, me, Frances. Have you called to see someone?`

`Don't you be sarcastic with me, Janie Farringdon.` Frances was now standing in the hall and she hadn't as yet looked towards the drawing-room doorway. But Janie, addressing Daniel, said, `Someone to see you, Daniel.Às Janie swung about, Daniel called,

`Hello! Hello, Frances ... 495 Well, come in.Ànd Frances walked towards the drawing-room.

Janie had stopped at the kitchen door and stood for a minute or two as if waiting to hear raised voices.

But what she heard was laughter, Daniel's laughter.

It wasn't loud laughter, but it was enough to make her dash for her coat and hat and then quickly make for the kitchen and out the back way. She had been given the inevitable answer she had known would come.

Back in the drawing-room, Daniel was standing facing the woman who had once been a girl, the girl who had torn his feelings to shreds, and through her desertion had turned days into agonising nightmares. He couldn't recall a time when he hadn't loved her, and longed for her, yet had been willing to wait for her, for years if necessary. And here she was, standing before him offering herself wholeheartedly to him. She had just heard, she said, that the Irish family, as she called them, were no longer coming back. She had said she knew she was to be married next month, but that didn't matter: Ray meant nothing to her; all she wanted was him, now that the house was clear.

He stopped laughing; and now she was speaking again: `Don't ... don't laugh at me, Daniel. I ... I mean it.

I ... I couldn't stay away, and I know you love me still as I love you.`

He cut in on her now, saying, `How would your father take your change of heart?`

Òh, he'd get over it. And he knows that, since your father died, you're making a go of this place.`

Ànd what about Ray? How would you tell him?`

Òh, Daniel`--she took a step towards him--Ì'll just tell him ... I'll just tell him I can't go through with it.

There's only you, and it's only ever been you. Anyway, he drinks too much and his people aren't all that they are cracked up to be; and before me they had someone else mapped out for him, but he got round them. Oh, Daniel.` When she thrust her arms out towards him he suddenly took his forearm and brought it down across them with such force that she screamed.

As she staggered back he cried at her, `You know what you are, Frances Talbot, you're a slut! Yes, I loved you; at one time I would

have killed for you; but I was a boy and 497 took a long time to mature. Now I'm no longer a boy, so listen to what I'm saying: believe me, I wouldn't touch you now, Frances, if you happened to be the last woman on God's earth. I'll tell you something else. If you had come and offered yourself as you're doing now when Moira and the children were here, I'd have fallen on my knees before you, and, metaphorically speaking, I would have remained there all my life. And yet my feelings for you haven't changed just in this minute: over the past months I've been comparing you with others. Your brother once called you a silly bitch of a girl, and at the time I felt like hitting him. Nevertheless, his description was not far off the mark because, added to that, you're a mean, nasty individual. Whatever Ray is, he's too good for you. You hooked on to him because you thought he could offer you a big house and money and the life of a lady. But that's what you will never be, Frances, a lady.`

`You'll ... you'll be sorry for this, and I don't believe a word you've said because I know you still want me. You're not likely to have stopped loving me, not after the way you went on.`

`Believe what you like, Frances, if it comforts you any, because you're going to have a very lonely life, a life, though, that you deserve. As you led me on, so you led Ray, I'm sure of that, because if you had left him alone he would have married Janie.`

`Huh!` Her laugh was high. `Him marry Janie? or Janie marry him? Janie could never see anybody but you. And there she is out there still seeing you, still hoping. You once told me you pitied her for being so plain, and she hasn't improved with the years. Ray marry Janie ... indeed!`

When there was a thumping on the front door, intermingled with the bell ringing, he stared at her for a moment, because the light her words had shone into his mind was suddenly blinding him. Then he hurried from the room and when he opened the front door a fuddled voice yelled at him, `She's here, isn't she?`

`Yes, Ray; she's here.`

`Her father said she would be here; as soon as she heard the news, she would be here. She's a bitch.`

He pushed past Daniel now, then turned and

faced him, saying, `She is, Dan, 499 isn't she? She's here?`

`Yes; as I said, Ray. She's in the drawing-room waiting for you.Às Ray Melton marched erratically towards the drawing-room door, Frances appeared, and when he reached her it was to grab her by the arm and pull her forward, as he yelled, `You're not going to play any of those games with me, madam! You're not leaving me in the lurch as you did him. Oh no. If anybody's going to walk out it's going to be me. Do you hear?`

Daniel stood aside as he saw his one-time school friend, now a drunken, enraged man, shake the woman whom he had once loved passionately; and he made no effort to stay him. And then he also watched the same woman send Ray staggering back as she cried at him, `You take your hands off me, and you shake me again like that and you'll see if I'll walk out on you or not.`

Turning to Daniel, Ray Melton now laughed as he said, `We were to be married in a fortnight, having brought the wedding forward. Do you know why? You know why, Dan? I'll give you a guess. She couldn't wait. As I told her, she'd make a good living in Bog's End.`

`You beast, you! That's what you are, you are a beast!`

`Yes, my dear Frances, I'm a beast because I'm tight; but when I'm sober and I remember what you've done this day, throwing yourself at Dan here, and your belly swelling, I just might decide to take a quick trip abroad. My dad suggested it and I just might do it.`

With this he now flung his arm out in mock courtesy towards her, saying, Ì'll give you one minute to get into the trap, my dear, and I will drop you off at your parents' estab ... estab ... lishment, and then we will take it from there, because as I said, who knows what will happen when I sober up.Àt this he staggered out of the door and down the steps, and she, making to follow him, paused for a moment and threw a look at Daniel that was so vicious as to contort the beauty that was still in her face into an almost evil mask. And she hissed at him, Ì once loved you; but it's nothing compared to the hate I feel for you now. I hope you rot with that Irish crop that spoiled my life.Às she turned from him to run to the 501 door, he followed her and watched her run to where Ray Melton was turning the horse and trap preparatory to leaving without her. And as he saw her gripping the back rails of the trap and having to pull herself on to the already moving vehicle, then fling herself on to the seat, he felt for a moment a wave of pity pass over him; but then it was gone when he recalled Ray's words as to what she was carrying in her belly. My God! If he had relented, she would have tricked him into that!