I can make you hate (52 page)

I can’t, I just can’t,
see
endless loop

I Spit on Your Grave,
1

Iannucci, Amanda,
1

iBook reader,
1

Ich Bin Ein Celebritten Gett Mich Aus Von Heer, see I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here

ID cards,
1

if
…,
1

Ifans, Rhys,
1

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!
1
,
2

The Inbetweeners,
1
,
2

Indianapolis,
1

Inside the Aryan Brotherhood,
1

insomnia,
1

Institute of Fiscal Studies,
1

Invasion of the Bodysnatchers,
1

iPads, when new (2010),
1

iPhones,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

iPricks,
1
.
See also
Mac owners

Iranian nuclear crisis, solved by author,
1

Iron Man,
1

Islamophobia: chatter,
1
.
See also
Norway, bad news from

Italy,
1

It’s A Knockout,
1
;

theme tune,
1

It’s Not What You Think
(Evans),
1

iTunes,
1

Jabscreen,
1
.
See also
iPhones

Jackson, Jonette,
1

Jackson, Mitchell,
1
,
2
,
3

Jackson, Samuel Q.,
1

James, Clove,
1

James, Girth,
1

Jamie’s Dream School,
1

Japan,
1

Japanese, politeness of,
1

Jay-Z,
1

JCVD,
1

Jedward,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5
;

Scrabble gambit,
1
,
2

Jessie J,
1

Jim Henson Creature Shop,
1

joggers,
1

Johansson, Violet,
1
,
2

John Lewis Christmas advert,
1

Johnson, Bratwurst,
1

Jones, Vinty,
1
,
2

Jordan (Katie Price),
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

The Journals of Soren Kierkegaard,
1

Joyce, James,
1

Kaka,
1

Kardashian, King,
1

Kasabian,
1

Katia,
1

Katona, Carey,
1
,
2

Kavanagh, Trivver,
1

Kay, Vernonium,
1

Kaye, Garden,
1

Keep Calm and Carry On
and all who sail in her,
1

Kemp, Rossington,
1

KFC,
1

Kick-Ass,
1

Kidman, Nick,
1

Kidman, Nickelodeon,
1

Kidman, Nicolas,
1

Kidman, Nicolai,
1

Kidman, Nikkole,
1

Kidman, Nzzzzz,
1

Kidman, X5+$&,
1

Kidulthood,
1

Kierkegaard, Soren,
1

The Killing,
1

‘Killing in the Name’,
1

Killing of George Bush,
1

Kindles, apparently the future, although this index will make no bloody sense on one,
1
,
2
,
3

The King’s Speech,
1
,
2

Kinnock, Nell,
1

Kirk, Captain James T.,
1

Kit Kats, green,
1

Klass, Marlene,
1

knob, spunking (iconic schoolboy artwork),
1

Kraft,
1
,
2

Kremmen, Captain,
1

‘Kubla Khan’ (Coleridge),
1

Kutcher, Acton,
1

Kyle, Germy,
1

labour (babyshitting),
1

Labour Party: Blair and Co.,
1
;

chances of winning general election,
1
,
2

Lady Gaga,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4
,
5

Lady Sovereign,
1

Lansley, Amdram,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

laptops,
1

Las Vegas,
1

Laurie, Hued,
1

Law & Order,
1

Lead Balloon,
1

leadership debates, televised,
1
,
2

Ledger, Heap,
1

Lee, Stuart,
1

Legs & Co,
1

Lennon, Step Hen (pseudonym: Tommy Robinson),
1

lesbians,
1

Letterman, David,
1

Letts, Quentin,
1

Leveson Inquiry into Media Ethics,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

Little Britain,
1

Littlejohn, Ratshit,
1

Littlewoods Christmas advert,
1

Live from Studio Five,
1

live television, appearing on,
1

lizards, dehumanising,
1

The Logo Board Game,
1

LOL, at own ignorance,
1
;

at ignorance of medieval idiots,
1
;

at them kittens aww look at them kittens,
1
;

at #GodFail,
1
;

used to end column,
1

London: Olympic Games,
1
;

nail-bombing campaign,
1
;

tube (underground),
1
;

Westfield shopping centre,
1
,
2

The Long Walk to Finchley,
1

Lopez, Juniper,
1

Lord of the Rings,
1

Lost,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

Love Actually,
1

LSD,
1
,
2

Lucas, Mutt,
1

LulzSec,
1

Lumley, Johann,
1

Lynch, Daphne,
1

Lythgoe, Nitro,
1

Mac owners,
see
fucking Mac owners

MacBooks,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

Mad Men,
1
,
2

Made in Chelsea,
1
,
2

Mail
-bashing,
1
.
See also Daily Mail

Mail Online,
1

make it stop,
see
I can’t, I just can’t

Mallett, Tommy,
1

Malone, Callow,
1

man in tracksuit trousers nonchalantly rearranging testicles while approaching author,
1

Man vs Food,
1

Man vs Poo,
1

Manchester United, human resources department,
1

Manford, Jamelia,
1

maniacs, proper,
1

marijuana,
1

Marks & Spencer’s Christmas advert,
1
,
2

Marks, Whored,
1

Mars confectionery World Cup campaign,
1

Martian, Betsy,
1

Martin,
1

Marvel Avengers Assemble 3D,
1

Mass Effect
1
,
2

masturbation,
1
,
2
,
3
;

analogy with shouting,
1
;

over paintings of Hitler,
1
;

with shaving foam,
1

‘Masturbation Minefield’,
1

Mattel, you know, the games company, stop reading this and get on with your life,
1

Matthews, Chains,
1

Maude, Frances,
1

Mayfair
magazine, unconventional hedge-based distribution methods of,
1

McCall, Damien,
1

McCutcheon, Marching,
1

McDonald, Roland,
1

McDonald, Tour Van,
1

McDonald’s: Big Macs,
1
;

official Olympic restaurant,
1
;

sausage-and-egg McMuffin,
1
,
2
;

unmistakable aroma,
1

McElderry, Job,
1
,
2

McGee, Coven,
1

McGuinness, Piddle,
1
,
2
,
3

McKeith, Szechuan,
1
,
2

McKenna, Appal,
1

McKenzie, Kunte,
1

McMullan, Powl,
1
,
2

Meadows, Shine,
1

medical procedures, minor,
1

Medusa Touch,
1

Merkel, Angelina,
1

Merkozy, horrible constructed nickname,
1

Merrick, Brad,
1

Messenger, Malingering,
1
,
2

metaphor, all Christmassy like,
1
;

apt albeit crushing one for our times,
1
;

strained and decorated,
1
;

sport used as one in bad campaigns,
1
;

no longer understanding one’s own,
1
;

excruciating,
1
;

kicking at window that isn’t really there,
1
;

running dry,
1
,
2

Metcalf, Jonnifunk,
1

Metro
newspaper,
1

Michael Winner’s Dining Stars,
1

Microsoft,
1
,
2

middle, apparently squeezed,
1

Middleton, Kite,
see
Royal wedding TV listings

Midsomer Murders,
1
,
2

Miliband, Edge,
1
,
2
,
3

Miliband, The Other,
1

Milky Bar Kid,
1

Miller, Vienna,
1

Millicent, Fifi,
1

Mills, Bother,
1

mind-controlled computers like the one controlling your legs now ha ha you think you’re alive but you’re not you’re a simulation loser
1

Minogue, Fanny,
1
,
2

Miracle on 34th Street,
1

Mite-Hitz, Carmen,
1

Mitterrand, Freddie,
1

Moat, Gruel,
1
,
2
,
3

mockney,
1

Modern Left, tragedy of,
1

Modern Right, tragedy of,
1

Moir, John,
1
,
2
,
3

money: bison meat as metaphor for,
1
;

broken,
1
;

too shite to mention,
1

money-saving measures for national economy,
1

Monopoly,
1

Monroe, Miriam,
1
,
2

monsters, worst ever created,
1

Monty Python,
1

mood-altering substances,
1
,
2

Moore, Bibble,
1

Moore, Cuddly,
1

Morgan, Pierce,
1

Morley, Trawl,
1

Morris, Swizz,
1

Morrison’s Christmas advert,
1
,
2

Morrissey,
1

mosque, alleged Ground Zero,
1

motorways,
1

MP3s, vs CDs,
1

Ms. Pac-Man,
1
,
2

MTV Cribs,
1

Mubarak, Who He,
1

Muhammad (Prophet), Danish cartoons of,
1

multiculturalism,
1

Mumford & Sons,
1

Murdoch, Jams,
1
,
2
,
3

Murdoch, Robert,
1
,
2
,
3
,
4

Murray, Gal,
1

Murray, Candy,
1

Muslims, news media struggles to explain their hatred of Norway,
1