I Carry Your Heart (Heart Series Book 1) (9 page)

Great, just what I didn’t need!

I just wanted to drown everything out, like it never happened.

“Iz, we’ll go and order you a bed now but it will take a few days to deliver, you can’t sleep on the sofa all that time. Why don’t you take the spare bedroom, and Joel can have your room when he sleeps over?” Mike placed his hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

I quickly shrugged it off in disgust. “Errm I don’t think so, he’s never setting foot in my room again.” I pointed towards Joel, to solidify my point.

“Well where’s he going to sleep? You know he comes here when his Dad is kicking off.” Mike’s eyes pleaded with me to be reasonable.

“To be honest Mike I couldn’t give a flying fuck, the way he acts at times he probably deserves a slap off his Dad.” I regretted the words the moment they left my lips, but I was on a roll. Watching what I said had long gone out the window.

Joel openly gasped and his eyes instantly turned cold and hard. He rushed past me, almost running to put distance between us.

My words had clearly touched a nerve. I’d been cruel using his Dad as a weapon against him, but I was still angry. Everything’s was still so raw inside, I didn’t care about the impact my words had on him.

“Iz, that’s a fucking terrible thing to say, you know what his Dad’s like and to say he deserves the abuse is hurtful. I don’t care how mad you are and I know deep down you don’t mean it, but he thinks you do. I’ve never seen him cry the whole time we’ve been friends, you’ve really got to him.”

It was my turn to drop my eyes in shame. My eyes flicked over the pattern in the carpet, hearing my own cruel words reverberate in my head. I did feel bad but apologise to him, I’d rather have my tongue ripped out.

I dragged my eyes up from the carpet, looking Mike square in the eye. “I don’t give a fuck about Joel’s feelings, I hate you both and I hope Mum has the common sense to throw you out as well. Stay away from me, I’m ashamed to call you my Brother.”

His mouth dropped open in shock. I stormed off into my room, slamming the door hard behind me. My eyes filled with tears as I snatched up the sports bag, shoving the clothes deep inside, along with my books, laptop and ipod. I grabbed a few other bits and pieces, heading towards the bathroom to get my shampoo.

Mike was still stood there, looking physically frozen to the spot, obviously still reeling from my words.

I marched right past him, not caring I’d wounded him. He glared when his eyes flashed over the shampoo in my hand.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he snapped, his voice making me jump.

“I’m leaving,” I yelled back, heading towards my room.

“Where to?” He was now right behind me, breathing down my neck.

“A friend’s.” I tossed the shampoo into my bag, before finally zipping it up.

He grabbed me pulling me round. “For how long?” His hands gripped me so tight I knew he’d leave a mark.

“Till I decide to come back,” I screamed, pushing myself out of his hold.

His hands scrubbed over his face, he was barely containing himself. “Mum is back tomorrow, she’ll know something’s up when she notices you’re not here.” He grabbed my arm but I snatched it away, giving him my back off glare.

“Ahh, so not really bothered about me but scared about the wrath you’ll face when Mum comes home.”

Always looking out for number one.

Selfish pig.

“No, but she’ll want to know why you left.” Panic flashed in his eyes, as he realised he couldn’t persuade me to stay.

I squared right up to him, so we were both eye to eye. “Then tell her the truth,” I screamed, almost spitting with rage. He was such a coward. I knew that would never be an option.

“It’s not that easy and you know it Iz.” He sighed, flopping down onto the bed.

“All I know is I can’t be here, I can’t even look you in the eye. You both disgust me and I need some distance from all of this!” I waved my hands up in the air. I hated my room now, it was just a constant reminder of the hurt that was deep inside.

Mike’s eyes flicked up to mine. “Okay, stay at Elijah’s tonight, Joel and I will tidy up and get things back to normal, then you can come back after college. I’ll make tea ready for Mum coming home at six.” He smiled in an appeasing way, hoping I’d relent and give in.

Did he really think I would go along with his little plan?

I shot him a look of disgust. “I don’t think you’re in a position to bargain with me Mike, I’ll come back when I choose to, and I hope the shit hits the fan and you two dickheads get what you deserve.”

Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I stomped down the stairs. I heard Mike shout my name but I kept walking. I’d had enough, I needed some space away from it all.

The cold air was welcoming against my enraged skin, but after a few minutes my teeth begin to chatter. I pulled my jacket tightly around me, wishing I’d brought my scarf and gloves. But I’d flounced out now and I wasn’t prepared to go back and ruin my exit. If I died of pneumonia then so be it.

The moment I heard him shout my name, I flinched in horror. My eyes automatically snapped up, to the sight of Joel walking towards me. He was heading back from the shops with a pint of milk in hand. I could tell he was working his way up to talk to me. But I didn’t need his words; his actions spoke loud enough.

My eyes quickly dropped down, I couldn’t bear to look at him. The closer he was, the faster my breathing became, my body reacting to his close proximity.

I had to escape.

My legs began picking up speed. I launched myself across the road, to save myself from his pathetic excuses. I’d witnessed enough in the brief glance we’d shared, his guilt and shame. I didn’t want any of his apologies, they were meaningless. No words could ever mend the unforgivable pain he’d caused.

“Iz please, I’m sorry,” he shouted, but I carried on running, afraid he’d try and chase me.

I didn’t look back.

“Izzy…Izzy sweetie, you need to wake up.”

I twitched slightly, as someone lightly stroked my face. I knew within moments it was Elijah softly whispering my name. But I refused to open my eyes. I knew once they were open I’d be faced with a barrage of questions, so for that reason alone I wanted to sleep forever.

He was persistent though. I knew he wouldn’t let me feign sleep any longer. I’d have to face his impending interrogation sooner or later.

My eyes fluttered open, then quickly snapped shut. Dear lord, blinded would be an understatement.

A few moments later I tried again, blinking several times to gain some kind of focus. My eyes felt gritty and sore, I guess hours of endlessly crying had taken its toll. On my next attempt I managed to prize them fully open, to be greeted with Elijah’s kind face peering over me.

He was smiling, but the look of concern in his eyes gave him away.

Mike had spoken to him.

The sobs began again, looking into his eyes. My whole body shook uncontrollably, as I fell apart in his arms.

He held me tight and gently rubbed my back. Talking to me in soft, soothing tones, telling me everything would be okay. It wouldn’t be though. Everything had been destroyed in that moment and now I was left to wallow in the remains.

Eventually the sobs subsided and the lump became more bearable, so I was finally able to speak. I swallowed slowly and licked my lips, hoping to get the words out before I broke down again.

“Did Mike tell you what happened?” I asked. My eyes scanned his face for confirmation.

He paused. His concerned eyes flicked over me, almost scared of setting me off again. “Yeah he called me, he was really worried. He wants me to take good care of you while you’re here.” He kissed my hair, pulling me back into his chest.

It was a bit too little too late for Mike to be worried about me now. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping it would all go away.

“I don’t want to talk about Mike and that man whore.” My voice wobbled and the tears began to build again. One managed to break free, trickling down my cheek.

Elijah brushed it away with his thumb. “I’m so sorry Iz, I can’t believe he could do such a thing knowing how you felt, but to do it in your bed. Was he deliberately trying to make a point?”

“I don’t know,” I sobbed. “All I know is if that was his plan then he succeeded, I never thought he could be so cruel.” My arms curled tighter around Elijah, clinging on like my life depended on it.

I needed him now more than ever.

“I’m always here for you Iz, I know right now it feels like the end of the world, but you will eventually move on, trust me I know.”

I looked up into large, sad eyes, showing signs of knowing how bad I truly felt. I hoped his words were true, but at this moment I was surrounded by complete darkness, with no chance of seeing a glimmer of light ever again.

“You will meet someone worthy of your love Iz, your prince is out there waiting for you,” he soothed, kissing my nose.

I raised an eyebrow. “Prince?” I hiccupped and he laughed.

“We’ll both get our happily ever afters Iz, I’m certain of it.” He hugged me tighter and I nuzzled my face into him deeper, breathing in his delicious Elijah scent.

“I hope so,” I whispered into his chest. “You’re the only one that understands me, who I trust to tell all my secrets to. Thank you for being there for me.” My voice broke on the last part. Elijah embraced me even tighter, as if to reinforce my words.

We lay there for what seemed like hours, before Elijah broke the long, eerie silence. “Well I don’t know about you but I am starving, lets order a pizza.” He jumped up clapping his hands together.

I tried hard to hide the grimace the moment food was mentioned. I had no appetite. I wouldn’t care if I ever ate a single morsel of food ever again.

“I know you’re not hungry Iz, but you have to eat, I’m thinking we can have a Twilight marathon. Nothing like perving over sexy vamps and werewolves, to make you forget about nasty man whores.”

A hint of a smile played on my lips. He knew my Twilight weakness. I welcomed any distraction at the moment. “Yeah okay,” I said sighing, anything to make him happy.

“Right I’ll go order the pizza.” He smiled and I forced a fake one back. It slipped the moment he left the room.

The text alert on my phone startled me, as I stared at it like it was some kind of alien being. I knew I should ignore it and switch the damn thing off, but my curiosity won out over my common sense.

I clicked open the message to find it was from an unknown number. My eyes skimmed over the text, to find it was from Joel.

Iz, I’m so sorry. I will try to make this right, forgive me, Joel x

I stared blankly at the screen, feeling physically sick at his words. He was back inside my head once again, fucking me up. I had to keep my distance, to give my heart a chance to heal. Having Joel in my life was no longer an option. He was never going to be part of my future.

It was over. Done. Dead.

Elijah burst back in the room, startling me. “So pizza will be here in ten minutes – are you okay?”

I was still staring at my phone, clutching it like my life depended on it. “Joel texted me,” I whispered. Just saying his name brought back the familiar lump.

Elijah slowly unpeeled the phone from my tight grip, staring at the screen. He pursed his lips before handing it back.

I didn’t want it anywhere near me, so I threw it down onto the bed. “I know what I have to do Elijah, I’m not going to let him hurt me again.” 

He smiled, encircling me in another of his bear hugs. It felt good to be wrapped in his large, protective arms. I nuzzled into his neck, he was so soothing and calm, I was so grateful he was here.

He kissed my hair softly, gently rocking me in his arms. “Once Edward Cullen is on screen it will be like Joel who.”  

I smiled into his neck, wishing that were true. Pulling away I looked up into his kind, gentle face. “Well he is a hottie and a great distraction.”

We both laughed, though mine was more forced. I knew this was the start of the healing process. It was going to be hard but I couldn’t think of no one else I’d rather share it with. He was the best friend a girl could ever wish for.

* * *

College dragged in the next day, after being placed into groups to devise a dance routine, featuring three different dance styles. We had to flawlessly interlink each dance and of course Elijah and I had been split up. I was now placed with the bitches of our class, which had done no favours to my current bad mood.

Natasha the ringleader of the group was a perfect 5ft 10” with long blonde hair, high cheekbones and a perfect curvy body with big boobs.

I hated her.

She had always had a thing for Joel, but she hadn’t managed to get her filthy paws on him yet, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.

“So Lizzy, I didn’t realise Mike Adams is your Brother, he’s pretty cute but he’s best friends with that really hot guy Joel. Do you fancy trying to wrangle a date for me?” She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

The girl was so freaking fake.

I scowled at her obvious error. “First of all it’s Izzy,” I snapped, overly pronouncing my name, so the dumb bitch would remember. “Second of all, I’m no ones pimp, you want a date with Joel then ask him out yourself. Though I’m warning you now that dick of his has been in nearly every girl in town.” I was hoping it would be enough to persuade her to look elsewhere, but I thought wrong.

Her eyes flashed to mine. “Not been in you though.” She sniggered in delight along with the rest of her crowd.

Bitch.

My fists clenched in anger. I had to keep it together, but right now punching her smart mouth seemed far more appealing. “I have more respect for myself, you want to date a man whore that’s your choice, but he won’t remember you the next day, once he’s had his way with you.” I spat the words out, like they were venom in my mouth.

“Jeez Izzy, I’m not looking for a marriage proposal, I just want to see that fit body of his naked. I bet he’s good in the sack, oh but again you wouldn’t know.”

My nails dug so hard into my hand they drew blood. The need to punch that smug face of hers resurfaced. I shook with anger, but I refused to give her the satisfaction she’d got to me.

I was spared any more embarrassment when the tutor reprimanded us all for talking, cutting short the whole Joel conversation. After finishing up I took off out of class pretty sharp, avoiding anymore talk of the Joel kind.

Elijah stood outside waiting, he frowned the moment he noted my look of annoyance. He put his arm around me, leading me away from the source of my anger. It had been the longest afternoon of my life and I was in dire need of a sugar fix fast.

“Let’s grab a caramel double latte with extra sprinkles on the way home. I’m sure you’re in need of some sugar after being round those catty bitches,” Elijah said soothingly.

I nodded in agreement.

He knew me so well.

We talked non-stop all the way home, most of the time I was doubled over almost peeing myself with laughter, at Elijah’s eerily perfect impersonation of Natasha. He had her voice and mannerisms down to a tee. It more than made up for my shitty afternoon, but my mood soon dropped the moment I felt my phone buzz inside my pocket. I pulled it out to see Mike’s name flash up on the screen.

I instantly rejected it.

I wanted him to squirm; he more than deserved it. My Mother was on her way home in two hours and would be expecting both of us there to greet her. I was not going to cover for him.

They would be in for a world of pain once my Mother found out about the party. One of her lectures could go on for hours and hours. It served them right. I hope she screamed at them till their ears bled.