I Need You (27 page)

Lindy started moving immediately, having unclicked her belt she climbed across the middle. I pulled the lever to slide my seat back as she straddled my hips.

“I want to do it.” Her cold hands pressed against my cheeks and then her mouth came down on mine, and as I opened my lips to participate, her tongue pressed in.

This was no game of chase. This was her dominating me.

I gripped her head with both hands and pushed her back. “Lindy.”

“What?”

“Don’t you wanna talk?”

Her lips twisted with a bitter smile. “Not really.”

“What about going to see Jason and Rachel today.”

“What about it?”

“Don’t you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Her hands fell to my buckle and started unthreading my belt.

I gripped her hands as she leaned back to look at what she was doing, using the lines of moonlight stretching through the trees and reaching into the SUV. “Lind, slow down.”

She looked up, her eyes all dark in the shadows. “Why?”

“Because you’re going too fast. Give me a chance to catch up.”

“Oh.” She looked down.

I wasn’t even aroused.

Her gaze met mine. “Sorry.” But then her hand slipped free of mine and she started rubbing me through my pants.

Shit. What was the point of arguing? I gripped the back of her neck and pulled her mouth back to mine, but this time I led the kiss, as she made me hard. Not that it was difficult when she was sitting astride me in a short loose skirt.

Her tongue wove about mine, with determination. She wanted to get herself off and fast.

I wasn’t gonna stop her when two weeks ago she’d hated––and been terrified of––sex. Maybe this was a breakthrough.

With my fingers buried in her hair I pressed my tongue into her mouth.

She slipped my button free then undid the zip of my pants. Her cold hand grasped me and began moving up and down.

I kept kissing her.

After only moments, she moved awkwardly in the space between my seat and the wheel to get her panties off. “Have you got a condom,” she breathed over my lips as she straddled me again.

“My wallet’s in my back pocket.”

The muscle in my abdomen contracted hard as I lifted to let her get at it, and within moments she had me sheathed and rose up, ready to––

Shit.

Press down.

Her mouth pulled away and she looked down as I gritted my teeth, battling the immediate desire to release into her warmth.

Shit.

It felt good to be in her again.

She moved fast, and hard, leaving me nothing to do. I couldn’t move and keep up with her in the seat of the SUV. She was definitely working to get herself off.

My fingers gripping in her hair, to try and calm her down a little, I shifted my hips forward so I was better positioned to press back. Then it was a full-on fight for who broke first.

I think it only lasted fifteen minutes; it certainly wasn’t long, but my end was mind-blowing.

“Ahhh.” My cry filled the small space around us as I came riding the back of her orgasm. Her internal muscles had clasped around me, pulling and throbbing with fluid warmth.

We’d steamed the windows up. If anyone else had pulled into the parking lot, I wouldn’t have even known.

I pulled her lips back to mine and kissed her. Then let her go.

Instantly she pulled off me and climbed back over to the passenger seat, picking up her panties. “I’ve got a tissue if you want it?”

She drew it out of the pocket of the loose sweat shirt she had on and held it out.

“Thanks.” I started sorting myself out, as she slipped her panties back on.

When I did my buckle back up, she looked over. “You’d better take me back.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, I told Mom I wouldn’t be long, Dad is on a shift.”

Great. I knew her dad was in the habit of driving out here at night to check there were no trespassers. If he’d found us his gun would’ve been pointed at my head.

“Okay. When am I gonna see you again? Do you want to do something tomorrow night?”

She glanced at me. “You can pick me up again if you like, but I don’t want to go anywhere, and I can’t stay out long anyway.”

I put the SUV into reverse and looked behind me to back out. “What time then?”

“Nine?”

“If that’s when you want.”

“Yeah.”

We drove home in virtual silence. I tried asking her a couple of things, but got one-syllable answers, so I gave up. When we got to her parents’ she’d have just leapt out the SUV, but I stopped her, reaching over and catching hold of her wrist. “Lind? Don’t I get a proper goodnight?”

She turned back around, smiling hesitantly and leaned over to kiss my cheek. “Night, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then she turned back and slid off the seat, jumping out the open door.

Weird woman. How the hell was I supposed to know how to handle her?

Chapter Sixteen

Lindy

I shut the door quietly, as I heard Billy’s SUV turn the corner at the end of the street.

“Lindy!” Mom’s call reached along the hall from her bedroom.

“Mom! Is everything okay?!” I’d hoped I wouldn’t wake her.

“Yes, sweetheart! Are you okay? Where did you go?”

I headed to her room. I’d left her in bed. “Mom?” She lay beneath the comforter. She looked really tired and worn out. Pale.

Her hand lifted.

The ache in my chest ate at me as I held out my hand too and walked over. When I reached the bed I gripped her hand, slipped my sandals off and sat on the covers next to her.

Would she be horrified and disgusted if she knew what Billy and I had just done? “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“You didn’t sweetie, I was awake anyway. I’m not sleeping well lately.”

No wonder she looked exhausted, my fingers tightened about hers, holding on…

“I went out to see Billy”

“Have you two patched things up?”

“Yes, I guess so, kind of…”

“Kind of…”

I loved her gentle smile, the one that encouraged me to open up. We were close, probably because I was an only child. I’d been spoilt. She and Dad had never had any reason not to spoil me with love and stuff. There was only me.

What was I going to do? How was I going to cope?

Her fingers squeezed mine a little more firmly, though not hard. But then they let go.

“Mom?”

“I’m fine, sweetie. Tell me what happened.”

“We made out.” The heat of a blush crept up my skin, but hopefully my makeup hid it… I swallowed.

Her eyebrows lifted. “You and Billy?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you dating?” Her blue eyes asked the same question.

“I am not really ready to––”

“But you like him. I mean, like that, you are not just letting him fill Jason’s place? It is not just because you’re lonely, sweetheart?”

I heard the tiredness in her voice. It was hard for her to speak.

“No… I… I don’t really know what it is, but he makes me feel better, and he takes my mind off… Off everything else…”

She smiled weakly and her hand lifted again. I held it for a moment.

“I could read to you if you like, and you could just shut your eyes, Mom. It may help you sleep.”

Her eyes had already drifted closed. She opened them again, looking at me. “That would be wonderful, darling. I’d like that. Read me something light and romantic. I don’t want anything heavy.”

“I’ll go pick something.”

Letting go of her hand I stood up.

Chapter Seventeen

Billy

Fuck, I was confused. I didn’t know where I stood with Lindy.

For two weeks I’d picked her up and driven her out to the lake, to do it, then driven her back. Not every night, but most nights. And nothing else. No dates. No dinners. No telephone calls… The girl was insane. Her and Jason had hung out constantly; they’d been attached at the hip. They’d done everything together. Me? I was only good for sex…

My hand ran into my hair and clasped it as I watched the guy I was working with doing the one hundred sit-ups I was counting off. Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine…

I didn’t know how to change things. What to say to her?

I was scared if I challenged her, the whole thing would turn to dust. I loved her. I’d loved her for years.

Then it had been my secret painful obsession. Now it was addiction.

Every day I got my shot, a fix of Lindy. Agitation rumbled around in my gut constantly when I wasn’t with her. I felt sick with need––and fear––‘cause I just didn’t believe she was gonna stay with me. All she seemed to be doing was using me…

Was she?

Would she?

“Fuck. That must be one hundred, Billy!” The guy stopped, his face twisting in an expression of agony.

Probably. I’d lost count.

My hand fell then lifted again to rub my hair and mess it up, so it wasn’t left flat. “One hundred. Now we’ll go for a run.” At least then I didn’t have to frickin’ concentrate.

When I got home later I saw Eva’s backpack in the hall. Mom and Dad weren’t home, though. I was glad, ‘cause my whole family had started noticing my constant bad mood, and Mom had been getting negative about Lindy. She would interfere if she got too wound up, and I didn’t want that.

I threw my keys on the counter and headed to the fridge for cold milk.

Every muscle in my body was locked up with aggression and annoyance that had no vent. I’d go to the gym for a while and pump some weights, then pound a punching bag. That would give me an out for a while.

“That’s disgusting, I hate how you drink it from the carton.”

I lowered the milk carton and wiped my lips as I turned to face her. “Eva.”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“You look like you’re ready to kill today. Your forehead’s all scrunched-up and angry.”

I really needed to go punch the bag. Sighing, I tried to get my muscles to knock off and relax. Lindy and I were having a night off the sex thing. I was going out with Jason.

“Is it Lindy again?”

I grunted acknowledgement.

She walked over to get some stuff from the fridge. “I’m making a sandwich, do you want one too?”

“Yeah.” Maybe it would stop my belly doing fucking jack jumps.

I took another swig of the milk.

“Don’t you dare put that back in the fridge!” She glared at me.

I was just about to.

Laughing, I set it on the counter instead, as she set down all the stuff to make a snack.

I leaned my elbows on the counter and dropped my head, as my fingers combed into my hair. The questions that had been firing at me all day started off again. Was Lindy using me? What the fuck was I to her?

“It is Lindy, isn’t it?”

My head lifted.

Eva idolized me; that was something to hold on to. “It’s Lindy, but don’t meddle, and make sure Mom doesn’t either. It’s for me and Lind to work out, no one else.”

“No one knows you’re seeing her, so how the hell could anyone else meddle.”

“Leave it, Eva.”

“I don’t get why you two just don’t tell people.”

“Because she doesn’t want anyone to know right now.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. Who knew?

“Billy…” She lifted her hands and would have hugged me, but I held up a hand to tell her no.

She went back to sorting out the food.

“She’s still getting over Jason. It’s gonna take time. I’m okay with being patient.”

“Her and Jason split up months ago. He’s married with a kid; she needs to get over it and move on.”

A bitter sound left my throat. “It isn’t that easy for her, and like I said, I’ve been patient long enough. I can wait a little longer for her to make up her mind.”

“She’s seeing you; surely she should have already done that…”

I shrugged. You’d think so. “Can we change the subject…?”

Billy

Jason stood outside the bar, on the driver’s side of his dad’s truck, leaning through the window and talking to Rachel, who’d obviously driven him down here.

I was gonna drive him home. If I got drunk I reckoned I’d be pathetic and blubbing like a baby in my beer. I wasn’t getting drunk.

“Hey!” I shouted.

He turned smiling. “Hey.”

Mr. Family-man.

Jason’s whole body said how happy he was.

Walking up to the truck I saw Saint strapped in his carrier seat, fast asleep, on the passenger side next to Rachel. “Cute.”

“’Til he screams,” Rachel answered.

I smiled. “Hi, Rach. How’s the new mom?”

“The new mom is exhausted. That is why I don’t mind Jason coming out for a drink with you again. Saint kept us awake last night. I’m going home and going to bed.”

Jason grinned at her. “And sleep, honey, you’ve spent too many nights awake when you’re on a high. I’ll see you later.”

“I’m down now. I’m exhausted. You know I’ll sleep. I love you.”

“Well, if you start feeling too down, call me. I love you.” He leaned into the truck and kissed her before stepping back to let her reverse out.

Envy hit me hard in the chest, winding me, as Rachel drove off. Jason lifted a hand. So did she, before pulling out of the parking lot. They were so together. People spoke about soul mates––they were soul mates. You could see it.

I wanted that.

Him and Lindy, they’d spent all their time together until he’d gone to New York, but it was obvious how wrong that had been––it had never been like Jason and Rachel.

I wanted the same thing with Lindy.

I was her soul mate.

It had all just got a bit muddled when we were young. She’d made an error and fallen for Jason’s pretty face. I wanted her to fall for me now, and fall hard.

“Shall we get a drink?” Jason’s arm came about my shoulders as we turned. “Hey. Cheer up…”

“What?” My face must have slipped into my now-habitual look of Lindy-based frustration.

“What’s up? You looked pissed.”

“Sorry I’ll get in a better mood.” We walked over to the bar as Jason’s arm fell.

Shit. I shouldn’t talk to him about it, but he was my best friend and he knew Lindy better than anyone––and I just needed to vent.