If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1) (36 page)

Liza took in a deep breath and held it. She was so torn over how she should deal with this. She let out her breath and turned away from them. “Fine. If it’s what has to be done. I’m going to call my parents.”

“You’re making the right decision.” Ava stood and came over to stand next to Liza. She rested her hand on Liza’s shoulder. “I know you want to do this on your own, but sometimes we all need help.”

“And asking for help isn’t weakness,” Audrey added. “The three of us were all brought into this big crazy ass family and we need to stick together. Otherwise—”

Ava cut Audrey off. “We’ll all end up just as crazy as the rest of them.”

Liza felt the smile crossing her face and laughed. It was nice to know she had friends again.

Chapter Twenty

November 11
th

A gentle shaking brought Julian awake. He looked around, blinking rapidly. His dad’s car.

“You stay put, I’ll go get Drew.” Everett touched his shoulder.

“I’ll make it.” Julian shoved the door to the car open, caught the door, and hoisted himself up.

Drew walked toward him. “You have no idea how much I want to punch you right now.” He moved his arm under Julian’s. “I gotcha. Let me help.”

“I don’t know if I can.” His legs trembled.

“Come on, one step in front of the other. If you can’t make it, you have four other brothers, a best friend, Dad, and Gramps all here to help you.” Drew shifted his body.

Julian accepted the added help and took his first step toward the house. “I don’t want to go in there.” His body ached, every muscle burned, and he winced with every step.

“Why? Everyone in there loves you and wants to help you. That’s why we’re here.”

“But you’re all here, because I fucked up.” Julian stopped, bringing Drew to a stop with him. “Thanks for coming to look for me.”

“You saved your own skin there, brother. That text you sent me kicked me into high gear. I was sitting in the baggage claim when I got your message.”

“What message?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Dude, the last thing I remember is going shopping with Liza on Monday. I came home grabbed a bottle of whiskey and haven’t been sober since.”

Drew cocked his head and then looked over his shoulder at Dad. “Where’d you get it all?”

Julian took another step forward, making his trek toward the house.

“Seriously.” Drew brought him to a stop and faced him. “I need you to tell me where you got the alcohol.”

Julian let out a deep breath. His stomach rolled and he gagged. He swallowed hard and put his hand over his mouth. “I have a guy who delivers. He doesn’t know me other than when I call, he delivers.”

“I’m gonna kill him.” Drew gripped Julian tighter. “Let’s get you in the house.”

Julian wobbled on his feet, but determination kicked in and he pushed ahead making it to the door.

Everett opened the door and the three of them headed inside.

Everyone turned and looked up when he came through the door. Concern, worry, and relief could all be seen in their expectant faces.

“Welcome back to the land of the living.” Blake hurried over.

Julian held up his hand, shrugged Drew off his shoulders, and walked the rest of the way into the living room. He sank into one of the chair and rested his head against it.

“How are you feeling?” Ethan asked.

“Think worst hangover ever, times ten, and then set your muscles on fire.” Julian peered around the room scanning the faces of the people he loved. Worry etched on each of their faces.

He rested his head in his hands. “I need help.”

“Well that’s a step in the right direction,” Gramps said.

Julian glanced at him. “Thanks, Gramps.”

Jake leaned forward. “I know I’ve been out of the picture, but the last time I saw you and Liza you acted like everything was great, you were happy.”

“We were.” Julian yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I’m miserable. I’m not going to make it without her.”

“Wait? What? Then why’d you break up with her in the first place? You said you were happy. Explain it to the stupid guy here.” Blake gave him a half smile.

Julian chuckled bitterly. “The only stupid guy here is me.”

“Not a damn one of you is stupid.” Everett sat down on the couch next to Jake. “Misguided sometimes, but not stupid.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Julian scratched his cheeks. He wasn’t used to wearing his beard this long and it was starting to itch. Time for a shave. He turned his attention to Blake. “I was so drunk, I don’t even remember breaking up with her. It all began at the baby shower.”

“You hit full blown prick level at the baby shower.” Drew shook his head. “You and I were about to have words, but the girls got to you first.”

“Yeah – that was fun. I think every woman in the room wanted to slap me.” Julian scratched his cheeks. God he wanted to shave.

“You realize the guy you freaked out about was her uncle, right? I mean not her real uncle, but he grew up with her parents and she referred to him as an uncle.” Drew’s knee bounced.

Jake and Donovan sat next to each other on the couch.

Julian’s gaze darted between the two of them. “You two understand better than the rest. You know what’s it like when your thoughts start racing. By the time she came over to see me, I was convinced she was leaving me.”

Donovan nodded. “I get it. Been there more times than I care to remember. Crystal and I fought for years about my racing thoughts. She claims the divorce had nothing to do with the bipolar, but I’m not convinced.”

Jake rubbed his arm. “I get it, too. It wasn’t the same situation, but when I got in trouble my first thought was Audrey would leave me. There would be no saving the relationship. She’d take Cora away from me.”

“So you ran out on her first.” Julian nodded at least there were two people in the room who understood him. He glanced at his father, wishing he could make him understand.

“Yeah.” Jake shrugged. “I’m sure it doesn’t make any sense to the rest of you, but Donovan and I get it.”

“You’re right, Jake.” Blake turned his palms up. “How does leaving solve anything? Aren’t you losing her by leaving? Why would you risk both of you getting hurt rather than facing your problems together?”

“You’re all nuts.” Trevor shook his head. “How can either one of you say you love your women when at the first sign of trouble your gut reaction is to leave? You don’t hurt the person you claim to love the most over a perceived threat.”

“In my mind, the trouble was real. My thoughts scattered every which way and by the time she came to see me, I was convinced she would leave me. So her giving me the ring back, vindicated my thoughts.” Julian rubbed his neck. “Yeah – it was stupid, but in my brain it made sense.”

“I agree.” Jake opened his hands. “What I did was stupid. I couldn’t come home right away, but I spent the entire year wondering if I could have done something different.”

“Now that we’ve established I have messed up kids, where are we taking this conversation?” Everett winked at Julian. He patted Jake on the back then reached around him and did the same to Donovan.

“I think genetics had a thing or two to do with some of that.” Gramps fixed Everett with a glare.

“Never denied it did I.” Everett agreed.

Julian raised an eyebrow.

“I think what your dad’s trying to say is, how can we help you get better?” Ethan leaned forward. “We want you to be healthy, Liza wants you to be healthy, but you can’t do that and continue drinking.”

Julian nodded. “I thought about admitting myself for a seventy-two hour hold.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be enough.” Drew stood and began pacing across the room. “I think you need the full blown twenty-eight days.”

“T-twenty-eight days?” Julian threaded his fingers together behind his neck. Rehab. Being away from everyone for twenty-eight days. “I can’t Drew. Liza’s due in a little over a month. If I left now, I’d barely be back in time. What if she delivers early?”

“The birth of your child is important and I want you to be there to see it.” Drew stopped pacing and stared straight at Julian. “But if you don’t get your act together one of two things is going to happen. You’re not going to be there for your daughter because Liza’s going to kick you to the curb. Or you’re not going to be there for your daughter because you went on another bender and didn’t make it out.”

The intensity on Drew’s face with his vision of the possibilities, scared the living shit out of Julian, because he knew it was true. He huffed. If he continued down the path he was on he was bound to end up in the morgue.

He went through the events of the day, from waking up in the hospital, to Liza walking out, Dad and Gramps calling him out, and now this. Everything suddenly clicked. “How am I going to make it through rehab. They’re not going to let me have all my medication. The pot’s an out and that keeps me from going psychotic.”

“You haven’t been reading your emails?” Ethan pulled out his phone and began messing with the screen. He strode across the living room and handed Julian the phone. “Dad talked to Dr. Marcus, they’ve been working together to take the research you started and make it a marketable drug.”

Julian looked down at the phone and scanned through the email between Vince and Dr. Marcus. “He thinks it will work?” His heart was racing at the possibilities.

“Dr. Muller is on his second round of clinical trials at the Yarrow Center. Your research brought the drug into being. Your research is the key to your recovery.” Ethan took his phone and smiled at Julian.

Julian sat back. Had he really made this all possible?

“We knew Liza was right for you when every time you two fought you’d end up at the lab,” Gramps said.

“You were ready to give up research after Whitney left you. It’d only been a month before you met Liza you even took the contract from Vince. You never let your clients down, but as far as moving forward in your research you were stagnant.” Drew rested his hands on Julian’s shoulders. “This is it, Julian. This could be the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for.”

“I guess I need to tell Liza I’m going to rehab.”

Drew’s phone chimed.

All eyes were upon him. “Sorry, it’s my . . .” He glanced around the room. “It’s Ava. I told her to text me if anything came up.”

Julian watched his brother.
My what?
Drew and Ava were hiding something. “Would you have her tell Liza I love her?”

Drew rubbed his fingers over his eyelids before pinching the bridge of his nose. “Julian how long have you been have you been drinking on a regular basis?”

“About a month or two.”

“Did you happen to forget something in those two months?” Drew let out a heavy sigh.

“I don’t think so. I’ve been working a lot and drinking a lot. Why? What did Ava say?”

“Liza’s being evicted and her utilities will be shut off tomorrow.” Drew showed Julian the text message.

“Fuck me.” Julian brought his hands to his head. “I spaced it. She’s going to kill me.”

Ethan looked over at Drew. “If you can get the account numbers, I can set it up as an automatic deduction and we’ll get the money out to the company before the day’s out.”

“Mom’s over there now, she’s already handled the money issue.” Drew shoved his phone in his pocket. “The problem arises of where’s she going to live?”

“If it’s a matter of paying her rent, I can cover that.” Julian flipped his hands over. Her landlord should let her stay if he caught up on the payments.

“Her lease ends December 1
st
. Mom said she could get her out of it two weeks early, but she still doesn’t have a place to go.”

“Yeah, she does. She can move in with me. It’s the least I can do after what I’ve done.” Julian paused. “I guess that puts rehab on the back burner. I don’t want her staying there alone.”

“You need to go to rehab.” Drew handed his phone back to Julian. “I suggested to Ava that Liza move in with you.”

Julian read Ava’s message.
Ha ha. Liza says, no way in hell is she moving in with him. I think she’s on her last straw.

He started to hand the phone back to Drew when the next message popped up. He read Drew’s first.
Think there’s a chance for the two of them?

She’s had it with the drinking. I think his only way is to get help. Serious help.

Julian handed the phone back to Drew.

“Not what you wanted to hear?” Drew read the message.

“Helps cement the need for rehab.”

“I take it she didn’t go for moving in with you?” Everett asked.

“Her exact words were ‘no way in hell’.” Julian looked over at his father.

“Well, I may have a solution to part of your problem.” Everett made a sweeping gesture. “I have this big empty house here. Your mother texted me when Liza first got the news. We’ve made the offer for her to stay with us until she decides what she’s going to do.”

“That would be great. I’d feel a lot better about going to rehab if I knew she was here and looked after.”

“Looked after?” Everett raised his eyebrow. “Boy, she’d smack you in the head if she heard you talking about looking after her. That woman is independent as they come. She can handle herself and you’d best learn that before she leaves for good.”

Julian laughed. “It’s one of the things I love about her, but also what drives me nuts.”

“Because you’re still trying to control her. You have to let her be her. She loves you and maybe not today, but most days wants to spend the rest of her life with you. She made that choice.” Everett clapped him on the shoulder. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up? You need it. If you’re all right with it, I’ll give Dr. Marcus a call and can get the ball rolling.”

He nodded. “Probably a good idea. Tell him I’ll call him once I get out of the shower and I’ll make final preparations.” He stood and glanced around the room.