In the Raw (20 page)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Jamie

When we finally found a parking space outside the building that housed the culinary department, Ethan leaned over and gently placed his hand on my shoulder, startling me out of thoughts of where I was going to find the money to pay for everything I needed. “You ready to kick ass and take names with the grand opening of our restaurant?”

He shot me the barest hint of a cocky grin. “Always. Let’s do this.”

He grabbed my hand once we got out of the car and I pushed all thoughts of jobs and tuition payments out of my head. The clusterfuck of my financial problems had waited for this long; it could wait another two hours until we were finished with our presentation.

Finally seated in the Comm classroom, Ethan bounced his knee as I looked over our notes. We would present second to last, which gave him plenty of time to let all his nervous energy flow. When I reached over to squeeze his knee, he sighed and slowed his leg slightly. He shifted his hand to cover mine as we watched our classmates at the front of the lecture hall.

When the last group before ours finished, the class applauded politely as they took their seats. I turned to Ethan to make sure he wasn’t going to bolt and whispered, “You ready for this?”

“Wow them with your mad skills, Golden Boy. I need a good grade in this class if I want to stay in the number one spot.”

My mouth opened with a snarky comeback when Professor Flannigan called out our names as he loaded our PowerPoint file.

Ethan clicked the mouse and our fictional restaurant filled the screen. The stock photo we’d chosen for our sidewalk-style café was rustic and warm. The exterior had wooden doors with retractable glass panels that could be opened when the Seattle weather cooperated.

The only good thing about growing up as a Lassiter was that it had taught me about schmoozing an audience. I put on my best smile and pointed at the screen behind me.

“Bistro 30. Our concept is a farm-to-table idea where we buy from as many suppliers and growers within a thirty-mile radius of Seattle as possible. Our immediate area is rich in local farmers’ markets, fresh seafood, ranchers who specialize in hormone-free and free-range livestock, as well as an abundance of local breweries, wineries and bakeries. It seems a travesty not to tap those resources when creating a dining experience for our guests.”

I tilted my head at Ethan, who brought up the next slide of the interior of our restaurant.

“We’re going for a rustic feel for our bistro, but also an Old World charm. A place where the guests don’t feel rushed or hurried into having to give up their table for the next group coming in the door. Instead, we want a place where diners can relax. That’s why we chose the warm and soothing wood tones. We want a place where they can celebrate good food and company.”

Ethan cued up the next slide with a chalkboard and our mock menu on it:

Soup: Carrot Ginger Soup

Salad: Arugula Spinach Salad w/ Bleu Cheese and Pecans

Seafood Main Dish: Mussels with White Wine and Garlic Sauce

Meat Main Dish: Braised Pork with Apple Compote

Side Dish: Marinated Grilled Asparagus

Dessert: Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

“This is an example of our rotating weekly menu, which would capitalize on the seasonal fare Seattle and its surrounding regions have to offer. We’d have a staple menu for everyday fare, but we would also include fruits, vegetables and meats in season.”

I nodded my head at Ethan for the next PowerPoint slide, freezing as I stared at the words on the slide: Marketing. Investors. Money. Of which I had none because my parents had decided having a gay son was worse than no son.

Ethan gently tugged me out of the way, taking over my spot in the center of the platform. My eyes met his and he smiled briefly before turning to face the class.

“Like any business venture you need a fuckload—I mean a huge capital investment to even think about startup costs. Our plan would include...”

I winced at the f-bomb, hoping Flannigan hadn’t noticed, and when Ethan continued on I watched, preoccupied. My mind drifted as he detailed our marketing plan, both from an investment perspective and from a marketing and advertising perspective. Before it hadn’t seemed like a big deal. Go to investors. Ask for money. Open a restaurant. Simple.

Now that I had nothing to my name, the whole plan for the future seemed daunting. I hadn’t lied to Ethan. I had a sense of excitement in knowing I had full control over my decisions from here on out. But I was also scared senseless. Ethan and Claire had been awesome to let me stay with them, but I needed a place of my own. I needed a job. I needed a plan.

As Ethan brought our presentation to a close, I realized if I was going to make any of my dreams a reality, I couldn’t wait any longer to check into financial aid. I’d put it off for two weeks already.

The applause from the class brought my attention back to Ethan and the project. I closed our file and made my way off the platform. He followed close behind me until we were seated in the back row, his leg bouncing faster than it had been before we’d gone up.

I reached over and snagged his hand, resting it on top of his knee. He kept bouncing his knee as he looked back at me. “Did I sound douchey? You can tell me. And how much do you think Flannigan will take off for the two f-bombs I dropped?”

I laughed and squeezed his hand. “No, you didn’t sound douchey. My guess is Flannigan may actually give you extra credit for limiting yourself to only two f-bombs.”

He smirked and tightened his fingers in mine, his leg slowing down a bit while we watched Reed’s partner, Stacey, approach the platform. She nodded to Professor Flannigan and pulled up their presentation. Ethan leaned over to me and whispered, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m always happier when he’s not around, but isn’t Stacey missing a partner? Where’s Reed?”

There were whispers and conversations all around the classroom. Stacey waited onstage for everyone to quiet down, then looked at Flannigan again, who had turned in his seat to face the class. “Alright everyone. Settle down. Mr. Jackson has chosen to forego participating in today’s presentation. I need everyone to give Ms. Kinsey your undivided attention.” Flannigan nodded at the screen. “Please continue with your presentation.”

Ethan pulled me closer to him and whispered in my ear, “I don’t know what happened to Reed, but the thought of him failing was worth having this class.”

I leaned against him and smiled, finally relaxing after I’d freaked out about the whole money thing during our presentation. “I agree. Now we need to find out what the deal is. Think Stacey will spill what she knows? I’m pretty sure she realized he was a jerk after the first five minutes she was partnered with him.”

“It’s worth a try.” He chuckled next to me as we settled in to watch Stacey give a great presentation which had nothing to do with asshole partners or his name all over their brand, or dull, unappealing fast-food restaurants.

* * *

Stacey grinned and leaned against the wall next to Ethan. “Not everyone can have a partner like you, Martin.”

When Ethan raked his gaze over my face and body, it was so hot it felt like a physical touch. I looked away, wondering when I was ever going to get used to the way he saw me.

“True statement, Stacey. I’d love to say I’m sorry for monopolizing the best partner here, but we both know I’m not. What’s the deal with Jackson? Last I heard, he was gung ho with his desire to populate the world with more chain restaurants.”

It was no secret Reed was all about the financial aspect of the cooking industry. He wanted to make the big bucks by climbing a corporate ladder somewhere, rather than putting in time in the kitchen.

I stole a glance at Ethan and smirked when he winked at me. Stacey groaned and banged her head against the wall. “All I know is he called me last week and said I was on my own for the presentation. He got some job with a big fancy corporation and dropped out. Lannister? Lancaster?”

I felt my stomach drop at her words and Ethan’s smirk vanished. “Lassiter?”

Stacey nodded. “That’s it. He totally left me hanging and I had to pull together everything myself. But at least I didn’t have to listen to him tell me how great he was anymore.” She stopped and her eyes narrowed. “Lassiter? Isn’t that your last name?”

“Yeah. My family owns Lassiter Corporation. But I’m not exactly on their favorite people list.”

She regarded me seriously for a second. “If you’re not I can’t imagine what Reed did to end up on it. I mean, look at you. Between you and Martin, you’re the walking poster boys for culinary school. All they have to do is slap your faces on advertising and people would line up.”

I chuckled. “Better poster boy than Golden Boy.”

She smiled. “I’ve got to get going, but good luck to you both in the competition.”

As Ethan and I followed her down the hallway, I knew what Reed had done to earn his place as my father’s new favorite. He’d sold us out, and right now I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Any of it. Not just the presentation, or Reed and my family’s dismissal, but the fact the people who were supposed to love me no matter what, now suddenly favored the one person who had sold me out.

Ethan squeezed my hand, stopping in the middle of the hallway and pulling me out of my thoughts. “I can’t believe I made jerk-off jokes and you didn’t laugh at either one. Wanna talk about it?”

Realizing I hadn’t heard a word he had said since Stacey had dropped the L-bomb on us, I sighed and squeezed his hand. “Sorry. Just wrapping my brain around Reed taking my place as the golden child in my family. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. They were in the market for a new and improved one hundred percent less gay son they could show off in public and be proud of.”

Ethan growled as his fingers squeezed my hand painfully hard. “Your parents are assholes. If your dad actually thinks Reed is a good fit for his company, I have even less respect for him as a businessman than I did before I knew what a shitty father he was.”

I tried to pull away from him, but he refused to let go of my hand. Instead he pulled me toward him and wrapped his arms around me. “Sorry. I know this sucks, but think about how painful it will be for your dad to have to deal with Jerkoff Jackson in his company. There’s got to be some kind of karmic payback in there somewhere, right?”

I chuckled, imagining the hell it would be to have to deal with either one of them on a daily basis, and tilted my face up to kiss under Ethan’s jaw. “Thank you. I’m going to keep that mental image for my happy place from now on.”

Snorting, he dipped his face down and captured my lips in a quick kiss. “I thought I was your happy place.”

I couldn’t help but grin against his lips. “You are my happy place, especially when you’ve just come out of the shower with only a towel on.”

The smirk which slowly spread across Ethan’s face was worth every minute of conversation we’d wasted on my crappy family. Before we could get in any more trouble in the hallway, I tugged his hand to keep him moving down the hallway toward the exit.

“Hey, let’s celebrate acing our presentation by grabbing a bite to eat on the way back to my apartment.”

My stomach rumbled in response, obviously in agreement a celebratory meal was in order. “Sounds good, but I better stop by financial aid first. I’ve put it off for too long.”

“Probably a good idea. Those applications are long as fuck and twice as boring. Pretty sure the only thing they don’t ask you is if you top or bottom.” Ethan snorted as he led us toward the administration side of the school.

Ethan and I walked the entire way across campus hand in hand. He cocked his head a few times with a curious look on his face, but didn’t release his hold on me. As much as I had gotten used to being with Ethan and was becoming more comfortable with being “out” with him in public, since the day in Chef Boulanger’s class, we had kept our PDA at school to a minimum. Until today. I wasn’t sure if it was the realization my relationship with my parents was completely severed, or if I was through with being in the closet, but it felt right to be here with him like this. Holding hands. With him. In front of everyone and anyone who might see us. I had tried and failed to do what was expected of me for twenty-two years, and frankly, I was done. I wanted to begin living my life for me. And I wanted to live my life showing the world I wasn’t afraid to hold Ethan’s hand in public.

* * *

I found Ethan sitting on the floor with his back against the hallway wall, his eyes closed in a rare moment of stillness. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d caught a glimpse of him this relaxed. Even in sleep, he twitched and tossed and turned. Watching him, I realized how tired he looked. This semester hadn’t been easy on either one of us, but sometimes I got so wrapped up in my own problems I failed to remember Ethan had his own stress to deal with. And lately, I had added to his stress by moving into his apartment.

I sighed and made a silent promise to keep in mind I wasn’t the only one who counted on getting the scholarship at the end of the semester. All my good intentions of waking him gently were shot to hell when my phone’s annoying ring tone trilled in the once-quiet hallway.

Ethan stirred, opening his eyes to blink up at me blearily, but made no move to get up from the floor. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and gritted my teeth when I saw the number on the screen.

“Who is it?” Ethan’s voice was sleep roughened as he scrubbed his hand over his face and pushed up from the floor.

“My dad.”

Ethan’s eyebrows rose as I actually flipped open my phone and answered. I was tired. Tired of my parents’ attempts to control me, tired of their homophobic bullshit, and tired of never being good enough to be their son.

“Hello?”

“James? Why haven’t you returned any of our phone calls?”

“Hello, Dad. I’ve been busy with school and job hunting.” I tilted my head at the door and Ethan followed along with me, bumping my shoulder with his in support.

“Do you realize you missed dinner with your mother and me again? It was beyond shameful to have to explain to our friends and their daughter our only son wasn’t going to show after we waited on you for almost an hour.”