Indigo (33 page)

“Eating alone wasn’t.”

I’m just about to question him on his sad response when my mom strolls into the kitchen. “It smells delicious in here.” She peers over my shoulder. “Penne Vodka?”

I nod. “What time will Detective Waters be here? Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.”

My mom walks over and grabs the garlic bread from out of the oven. “Any minute now. Kennedy, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he wipes a sleeve across his eye, then a second later puts down the knife. “Is this normal?”

I hold in a giggle when he turns to me to show the tears coming down his face. Even though I know he’s not sad, the sight pulls on my heart strings. “Aww your face is making me sad!”

“Great. Exactly what I want to hear,” he mutters. My mom laughs and then moves in to finish the job while I hand Kennedy a paper towel.

The three of us get the meal ready, and for the next five minutes as we all laugh and joke around. I manage to forget how nervous I am at the sight of Kennedy and my mom getting along so well. The sound of the doorbell brings it all rushing back, however, along with a sick wave of premonition.

My mom wipes her hands on a dishtowel and heads for the door. “I’ll get it.”

A warm strong hand rests comes down on my shoulder, and I feel Kennedy press a kiss to the top of my head. “It will be okay.”

I hear voices in the hallway, surprising, since my heart sounds like a drum line in my ears. A moment later my mom walks in with not one, but two men.

Detective Waters looks to be in his mid to late forties with black hair, although it’s began to graying around the temples. He looks like he’s in great shape, too, but to me, his eyes have always looked tired. Mark of a good cop or something I guess. He also seems to never blink, something I remember, and although he is handsome in his own tough ‘put your hands up’ kind of way, his stare makes me feel like a cornered rabbit.

“Welcome home,” he says warmly. He comes over to shake my hand and most likely analyze my well-being. “You look wonderful. How are you holding up these days?”

“Just fine,” I answer, hoping he’ll take the hint that I’d like to keep my life exactly as it is.

When I don’t say anything further, he turns to Kennedy. “And who’s this young man?”

“Kennedy, it’s nice to meet you sir.”

They shake hands and Detective Waters nods appreciatively. “Good strong grip. It’s nice to meet you too. Are you a friend of Indigo’s at school?”

He is just as nosy as ever it seems. Kennedy nods and then puts his hands in his pocket. “Yes, sir. We drove down together yesterday.”

“Good, good. Smooth travels I hope.”

I zone out of the small talk. There’s that word again. Friends. He said it so assuredly, and I try to ignore the annoyance that pops up to nag me. What right do I have? I practically said the same thing. I do my best to forget the hypocritical emotion and concentrate on the other man standing beside my mom.

Detective Waters follows my eyes and then motions to the other man. “Indigo, I’d like you to meet my new partner, Mr. Thomas Stone.”

Officer Thomas Stone has to be a rookie, because he doesn’t look a day over 25. He’s monstrously huge, tall, and his bulging muscles look like they’re going to split his uniform in half. He has jet black hair, a row of shockingly white teeth, and as he walks over to us, I can tell right away he must get his eyebrows done. Hmm.

“Only been with him six months, but he’s one of the best I’ve ever seen. Instincts like a cat,” Waters continues.

The huge Thomas holds out a hand to greet me, and when we meet eyes, it’s all I can do not to take a step back. Something that looks like disdain lurks in his gaze. I can feel it. It’s better than all the pity I usually get, but I can’t help but wonder what the heck this man has against me. He stares at my scar unabashedly, totally without restraint. I already don’t like him.

After a few more minutes of small talk, we all sit down for what turns out to be a very awkward dinner. I certainly am not talking, and the only person who doesn’t seem to notice the tension is Detective Waters, who is complimenting us on the food.

I’ve barely eaten a bite when Waters wipes his mouth on a napkin, and leans back in his chair. He’s never been one to waste time, and I try to ignore his stare and force a bite down my throat.

“Has your mom spoken to you about a few of my suggestions?”

Gathering up all the adrenaline and courage I can, I put my fork down and look at him. “Yes she has. I’ve given it some thought, and I’ve decided to decline the offer of any type of surveillance on me. Being in college as I am, it would be inconvenient, and make me even more conspicuous than I already am.”

Waters settles himself in his chair as if steeling himself for an argument. “My team would be most discreet. No one, including you, would be able to spot them. It wouldn’t be a bodyguard type situation.”

“See Indigo,” my mom leans in excitedly, thinking my biggest argument against it has just been shot down. “There’s no reason not to. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Campus security is more than adequate I’m told,” I respond. “Besides, there’s really no need for something so dramatic.”

“No need?” Thomas cuts in, glaring at me. “Are you kidding me?”

“Don’t yell at her.” I turn to see Kennedy glaring fiercely at Officer Stone.

“Is there something we don’t know?” My mother says at the same time. She looks worried now as she turns to Detective Waters for answers.

Seeing the look on everyone’s face has fear creeping into my belly. What if what I had been trying not to think about all this time is true? What if there is someone after me?

Detective Waters scowls at his partner, and then to my stark relief shakes his head, quelling the queasy feeling in my stomach. “No, there is nothing you don’t know. We have gotten a few slightly aggressive letters regarding Indigo, but they are being investigated, and so far nothing has panned out. But there are people who obsess over women and men like the Huffs, fan clubs if you will. Kidnappers, rapists… serial killers especially. It’s unfortunate, and I would feel better if you had the added protection.”

“What letters?” Kennedy asks, his tone impatient as he puts his hand on my leg. I’ve never heard his voice that low. “Threatening her?”

“Nothing serious. But a few have been enough to get our attention.” Detective Water’s honesty makes my head spin. I have no desire to see those letters. “We’re getting both sides of the coin. Some demanding that she testify, some saying she shouldn’t. The feelings about Joan are very mixed in this case. Some believe she was a victim of Richard, just like Indigo here. She has been able to garner a lot of sympathy for herself over the past two years. Not many people involved in kidnappings get out on their first parole hearing, but there’s been talk she has a good chance.”

I can’t hide the look of utter disgust that comes over my face. Everyone stares at me again, and I try to mask the emotion. “Well, there is nothing too threatening. I am certainly glad to hear that. Just because I don’t want a security team does not mean I don’t value my safety. Nothing has panned out, you’ve said it yourself. In a short time this hearing will be over, and then everyone can go pontificate over some other case.”

“It’s a precautionary measure,” Detective Waters pushes. “Just until the hearing is over. Extreme, yes, and I know you don’t want the attention, and god knows you want to forget about the whole thing, I get that, but it really wouldn’t hurt Indigo. It would give me a peace of mind.”

I look at his familiar face, one that I associate with such terrible times, the worst in my life. He saw
me
at my worst, literally hours after coming out from the pits of hell. And he comforted my mom throughout the entire ordeal, something I’m grateful for. Says the case was his big one and I got under his skin. He has never been anything but kind and helpful to me, but looking at Kennedy next to me now, I can’t help but want to totally and completely move on. How can I leave the past behind when I know there are people watching over me? If there was a known specific threat, then maybe I would consider it. But I can’t live my life always looking over my shoulder, hiding from anyone who has a negative view of me.

The doorbell rings and we all look at my mother. “That’s Jack. He’s a little early picking me up for group.”

No one says a word while she’s gone, so we hear the concern in Jack’s voice over the police cruiser in front. There’s a hushed conversation before the two of them enter the kitchen. Great, another pair of eyes to have this conversation in front of.

Jack, obviously knowing he is intruding on a private conversation, says hello to everyone, and gives me a sympathetic smile before heaping his plate with pasta. He tip toes out a moment later to eat in the living room. His thief in the night demeanor almost makes me laugh, but I don’t think I could find anything funny at the moment.

“I just don’t want it,” I say quietly. “Why don’t you make a public statement, or better yet I will, and say that I won’t be testifying, so there will be no need for anyone--and I don’t think there is--who is desperate enough to try and stop me.”

The whole table goes quiet, and I decide to get the worst over with now. “And no, I will not be testifying at the hearing, just like I didn’t testify at the trial. I don’t ever want to see those people again, I am done with that part of my life.”

“Indigo,” my mother pleads. “Let’s talk about this together first. Listen to what the Detectives have to say before you make a decision.”

“I’ve made a decision,” I say staunchly. “I’m not going.”

“Selfish,” Officer Stone hisses. “How are you not jumping at the chance to put her back behind bars?”

His anger fuels mine. He doesn’t even know me. “I don’t want to ever see her again, how can I make it any clearer to you?”

“The world will know the truth,” my mother says, grabbing my hands. “She deserves to be locked up. If she’s out, who knows if she’ll do something to someone else or even you? You have to do this for them.” A tear falls down her cheek. “You have trouble sleeping now, I can’t imagine how it will be if she’s out--“

“Mom!” I shout, cutting her off. I turn to Detective Waters. “What good will my testimony do anyway? I’ve been criticized for not coming forward sooner. People will think I’m making things up.”

“Or that you finally found the courage to say something,” my mother pushes. “No one will judge you after what you’ve been through.”

“Everyone is judging me now. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”

“I strongly urge you to rethink this,” Detective Waters says. “She doesn’t deserve to walk the streets and live freely. She deserves to live out her full sentence, short as it is. And if people know the truth about her, that will matter when she gets out. You know it, and I know it. I hate to push you on this, but after what they did to you, I don’t want her walking out of there.”

My stomach is in knots as I gaze at the faces around the table. I look over to Kennedy for assistance. He’s always been on my side. He meets my questioning gaze, then looks down at his hands that are folded in front of him. Before he even speaks, I know I’ve lost my last life line. “Whatever she’s done to you. I’d like to see her pay for it.”

It takes a moment for my mind to catch up with my heart. I’ve never asked him for anything, only to have my back. He takes a chance to meet my gaze again and I see the worry in his eyes, but I look away immediately. “I just want to be clear on something, this is my decision right?”

“It is.” Detective Waters answers. “No one can make you go to this hearing.”

“Then there’s your answer, none of you can make me.”

“You sound like a child,” Officer Stone hisses. “You can’t just ignore this and happily go on living your life.”

His words cut deep and rage boils inside me. I jump out of my seat and slam both hands on the table. “My happy life?! How dare you! Have you seen my face!? I’m reminded every single time I look in the mirror Office Stone! As I’m sure you heard, I can barely sleep at night because I’m terrified every second, I live with paranoia and can’t close my eyes without seeing myself back in that basement, in the backseat of their car. You don’t know anything about me!”