Insight (30 page)

“Wow.” He’s out of breath. “You have to come with me.” He keeps his arm tight around my side as we begin walking down the hill. We walk in silence for a few minutes, and I soak up his warmth.

“I’ve been thinking,” he starts.

“Yeah?”

“Your mom. You saw without touching her, but you were touching me.”

He’s right. “Yeah.” My eyes drift toward him, wondering where he’s going with this.

“I think you really are going to be stuck with me,” he adds seriously.

“Is that so?” I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be stuck.

“Well, yeah, when you have a hold of me, you don’t see things you don’t want to see
and
you can see without touching. You were thinking about your mom, and you got a vision from her. That’s a big deal.” He’s trying to sound serious, but there’s almost always a hint of tease in what he says.

And he’s right. It’s kind of huge, but I already want to be around him in a way I don’t completely understand, or that I’m only beginning to understand. This just adds to what’s already here.

“I complete you.” He chuckles and squeezes my waist. “Like, your other half, the yin to your yang, or…however that’s supposed to go.”

“Is that so?” I’m teasing, but also overwhelmed that he’d even want to think that.

“Definitely.”

“Thanks. You have to know how much I sometimes hate what I can do.” Except with Landon sitting next to me, it’s starting to become apparent that it can bring good things, too.

He’s silent as we walk. “Micah, if you hadn’t seen what you saw, your mom could have died tomorrow, or—”

“Or maybe not, or maybe not until next week.” It all feels so fragile.

“Still.”

“Does your dad always go walking before he leaves town?” I ask before thinking.

Landon stops.
“What are you talking about?”

“Your dad walked with me down half my driveway. He said he always goes for a walk before leaving town.”

“My dad left yesterday.” Landon’s brows pull down.

“I walked with him.” My chest constricts, and I wonder if all my paranoia is deserved.

“I believe you, Micah, but it’s kind of weird. I really did think he was gone.”
Landon starts to walk again, only more slowly.

Why did he do that?

Another shiver of fear runs through me. I think about how his dad watched me in his library, his mentioning of talents, the
exact
same vision each time we touched.

“Don’t worry.” He kisses my cheek. “I know my dad. I’ll figure out why he’s felt off lately, okay?”

“Okay.” I trust Landon, and I know he said his dad was weird about me. He’s definitely watching.

We step onto the dock. “I bet you take all your girls onto the boat.”

“I’ve never taken a girl onto the boat. The boathouse, yes. But not the boat.” There’s no tease in his voice this time, and everything else about our night fades away. Is non-important.

I’m different. It hits my chest and spreads, relaxing my body even closer to his. I slide both hands around his waist and squeeze tightly.

“You, Micah, are finally starting to believe how much I love you. And you see us together, and feel us together, in a way I’ll never get to do.” His lips touch my forehead.

I feel suddenly desperate to feel him close, and clutch him more tightly
,
kissing his neck.

Landon chuckles. “The boat is right there. Can we make it that far?”

“If you’re fast,” I tease.

He scoops me up, runs down the dock and steps easily onto th
e boat, even with me over his shoulder
. The sliding door opens, we step inside and he locks it behind us—the room is all off-white leather furniture, and warm, wood walls
. And almost too perfect
to be a part of.

“I feel kind of guilty for taking you from your party.” But I can’t take my eyes off his face, his neck, his lips…

He sets me down. “That,” he leans into me until my back is pressed against a wood-paneled wall, “is ridiculous.”

How am I going to tell him that I’m not ready? With all the I love you’s and plans to go boating. It seems ridiculous when I think about what we’ve been through together. Maybe I just want to make sure it’s not tainted by fear, or relief, or anything but us. “Landon, I don’t think I can—”

“I can’t believ
e you’re letting me in your life at all
. If I was you, I’d be a complete mental case.” A corner of his mouth pulls up.

“Were you
with
me tonight?” I tease. “Because there’s no way I wasn’t a complete mental case.”

“Completely warranted, Micah.” His fingers run down the side of my face. “I think just seeing would be so hard, but feeling too? I mean. You know I can’t even imagine what it’s like to do what you do.”

“And I don’t know how to explain it to you.” I’m not sure if he understands, but he understands me, and that’s enough.

“You’re sharing it with me. That’s enough. And…” He smirks. “I like anchor you or something, right? That has to be good.”

I’m not sure how to respond to the second thing he said. It still feels like a fluke. “I can’t even explain what it feels like to not carry this alone.”

He’ll never
totally
understand what he’s done for me, but maybe he’ll understand part of it.

His arms go around me. “Thank you for trusting me.”

“I do.” My face rests on his shoulder, buried in his neck.

“And thank you for letting me forgive myself for something that was out of my control.” He’s talking about Lacey.

“Thank you for the same thing.”

“My room in here is small, but I don’t want to be away from you. Not tonight. Not any night.”
He kisses me again, running his hands up my sides and tracing invisible lines where my bra should be.

Shivers continue to run through me at his touch, only they’re the kind of shivers that warm my body instead of making me cold.
“Okay.”
But I sort of choke on the word because his lips are on my neck.

Suddenly I can’t imagine him being close enough. I slide my hands up under his shirt and we stumble our way to his bedroom where he suddenly takes his hands off me and rests them on the sides of the doorway as I step into the tiny room.

“What’s wrong?” I scoot to sitting on the bed.

“Nothing.” He takes a few more deep breaths. “Just need to calm myself for a moment.”

Heat spreads up my neck and across my face.

Landon takes two steps to where I’m sitting on the bed. “I love you Micah. We have as much time as we want, and I really don’t want to mess anything up.”

His finger touches my chin, and I finally look up at him. “Okay.”

“Okay.” His smile spreads. “So, not tonight—”

“But soon.” I smile.

“Yes.” He reaches forward and takes my hands in his. “Definitely soon.”

I feel his contentment, happiness, and maybe even love. All right now.

We kiss once, softly, and
he pulls us together on the bed
.

THIRTY

Some sort of ringing pulls me out of my dream. What’s going on? A smile fills my face as I sit up and Landon’s arm slides off of me. I love Landon sleeping. The poor guy’s still in his jeans. The ring again. My phone. I pat my hands around on the bed until I find it.

“Micah, I got your call. What’s going on?” Dad’s voice is anxious, tense.

“Hey, Dad. We fixed it.” Light’s peeking around the curtains covering the small, oval windows.

“Are you sure?”

“The pictures changed.” I lean against the wall.

“Okay.” His voice is still hesitant.

“What, Dad?”

“Its decisions we make that change things. You might have just transferred or put something off.”

I feel the tension from the night before seep into my chest again. “I think we covered it.”

“Just, make sure. Re-check, okay?” His voice is soft and full of concern. It doesn’t give me the confirmation
or
comfort I want.

“I already did.” I’m confused. “Why are you pushing this so hard?”

“Because sometimes when we ‘fix’ things, we make them happen.”

“But, Carol…” I’m starting to repeat the optimistic argument Landon gave me yesterday.

“I know, Micah. But the more I think about it, you and I don’t even know if what we did made an impact. It may have only been the difference of getting her to the hospital an hour or so earlier.”

“Or the difference between her living or dying.”

But the tru
t
h
is that we don’t know how much of an impact we had. I do know I changed something the night of the Lacey party, but how much?

He exhales slowly. “A neighbor of mine had this little girl. I touched the mother one day and saw her daughter unconscious on the pavement with a newspaper strewn next to her. I couldn’t make out the date, of course, but the photo on the front of the paper was very distinctive. I checked the paper every morning for almost a month before I thought maybe it had gone away. She wasn’t someone I knew well, so I didn’t see how I could go check.

“I went to work one morning and saw the picture on the paper. I panicked and called her. I had a story all worked out about how she needed to keep a special eye on her daughter because a little kid in the area had been abducted. It seemed like the easiest way to make sure her mom kept her away from the street. The little girl was hit by a car when her mom ran inside to get the phone.”

“Oh, Dad.” My heart breaks for him. It’s something I’ve never thought about—trying to change something and ending up being the cause.

“Just, re-check. The
little girl lived,
but she’s in a wheelchair and always will be.”

“Thanks.” I don’t want this—the added weight and feeling that no matter what I know, there’s nothing I can do. “I’ll re-check.”

“Sometimes fate can’t be changed.”

“I don’t think I believe in fate, Dad.” Or maybe I do and that’s why I feel so helpless.

“Hmm.” The line is silent for a moment. “I think you will.”

“Is that intended to completely freak me out?” I try to smile, but a chill runs down my back.

“No, sorry. Just re-check.” Dad’s voice is still quiet and calm.

“Of course.”

“Let me know how things are. Call me later, okay?”

“Okay.” I can’t take my eyes of Landon’s back. When I hang up the phone, I reach out to touch him. I’m actually looking forward to it. To what I’ll see.

Mom’s crying. My hand is in Landon’s. It’s too late. It’s too late…

What?

“Landon, wake up!” I’m shaken all through, every part of me. I jerk up blankets and find my jeans. I slid them off sometime in the middle of the night. A chill gets me as I try to move. Like hitting a wall of ice.

“What’s going on?” Landon’s rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“It’s not fixed, Landon! My mom’s okay, but something else happens!” I pull my hoodie from a pile on the floor.

“Uh.” He looks around.

“I gotta go.” I start out the door.

“Wait for me!” He scrambles behind me as he pulls his jacket over his head.

I dart out the back door of the boat and leap easily onto the dock.

Landon’s right behind me, and when he reaches out his hand, I take it.

Mom crying. My hand squeezes his. It’s too late. We’re too late…

I hit the dock running and don’t slow when I get to the hill. A chill from the early morning air hits me hard.

“You have to tell your mom, Micah.” He’s out of breath already. So am I, a mix of adrenaline and shock.

I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut. “She thinks that we’ve always been all honest and open with each other, Landon. What will she think if I tell her this now?” I’m breathing hard. It’s not easy running uphill.

“We need her help, Micah. Telling her is the easiest way to get it.”

He’s right. I know he’s right, but I feel so desperate and now I feel like I’ll break Mom’s heart on top of whatever else is happening. I’m seeing spots. I can’t breathe. The shadows in the trees seem to be moving with us. Running. Definitely more than one. Definitely with shape, like almost-people.

Are they here for me?
To take me?

I dig in and run faster. Fear is coming from all directions now. The sprint up the hill and the emotions of my morning hit me hard. I’m freezing, and the shadows are still moving. It’s not one. It’s not Lacey. It’s something else entirely. Something I can’t see well enough to explain. And even if I could see well, I still couldn’t explain it. Them.

The shadows will travel the earth looking for their gifted descendants to take them into their world…

I might die of a heart-attack.