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Authors: Angela Graham

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BOOK: Irreplaceable
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“Tequila or the house special?
Pick your poison. And if you so much as
hint
to Logan that I brought
these over, I’ll be sure no one in this town makes you a grilled cheese again,”
Caleb threatened with a half-serious smile as he stood at my door an hour
later.

Giddy at seeing my favorite wine in his hand, I snatched
the bottle and pulled him in for a quick hug, then grabbed the other bottle.

“Didn’t realize you were a drinker.” Luke appeared
smiling beside Caleb, his eye flicking from me to the bottles I was clutching
way too tightly.

“What can I say? I was feeling a celebration was in
order. It’s my first day off painkillers.”

“Wow, already? I thought the doctor said it would be a
few more days before you—”

“I’m fine, and right now, instead of feeling like my ribs
are going to explode through my chest or my leg is being dug into, I only feel
warm and fuzzy.”

“Leave the girl be,” Caleb interrupted, saving me from a
big-brother speech as they walked inside.

“Finally!” Hilary was wrapped around Caleb before I even
closed the door behind them.

“There’s my girl,” Caleb whispered into her lips as they
kissed. Hilary’s hands dipped to his waist and didn’t stop until she had a firm
grip on his ass.

“I would say get a room, but would prefer it not be in my
house.” I shook my head, sobering and not liking it.

“I’m a little drunk,” Hilary giggled, holding up her
thumb and pointer finger to show how much.

“I can see that.” Caleb chuckled and placed a kiss on the
tip of her nose.

Having seen too much, I headed to the kitchen for a
glass.

“You do realize those lovebirds are not going to quit anytime
soon, right?” Luke said, following me.

“Oh, well. I’m happy for them.” I downed the glass I
filled, then poured some more.

“Yeah, you look absolutely thrilled.”

I glared at him but my lips betrayed me, pulling into a
smile as I downed the second the glass. I said nothing else, instead filling a
glass for Hilary, and walked back out.

“No thanks. Caleb wants to take me for a ride in his
car.” She leaned in. “Actually I’ll be doing the riding,” she whispered all too
loudly.

I laughed. “Well, have fun, I guess.”

Fantastic. Now I was going to be stuck home alone with no
one to drink with. I barely drank in general, let alone by myself.

Her smile dropped, teeth tugging on her bottom lip. “No,”
she said, her eyes downcast. “That would make me a shitty friend. We’ll stay. I
can wait to get him alone.”

I shook my head, smiling. “Go! Have fun. It’s all right,
really.”

“You’re sure? We can stay.”

“Goodbye.”

Hilary threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “I
promise I’ll make it up to you,” she whispered. I nodded and watched her
flutter back to Caleb, her hands diving into his back pockets as her lips met
his cheek.

“I’m not getting in that car,” Luke stated from behind
me.

Hilary stuck her tongue out at Luke playfully, then
jumped up on Caleb’s back.

“We won’t do a thing till I get you home. Promise,” Caleb
said, looking back at his brother.

“Not falling for that again. My ass is not getting
anywhere near that car while you two are in it,” Luke said, making a face.

I swatted my hands at Caleb to go. Hilary waved with one
hand, the other around his neck. As they walked out, I noticed his hands
holding her ass to stabilize her on his back were already getting friskier by
the second.

Yeah, they could leave. My night didn’t need to include
watching a make-out session. When I turned to walk to my couch, Luke was
already comfortable on it, leg resting over his knee, drink in hand.

“I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t get in that car for a
while if I were you.” We both chuckled, and I slid down beside him. “You can
crash here if you promise to be a good drinking buddy tonight.”

He thought it over. “Fine, but I have two demands.”

“Shoot.”

“First, I have to say that for the record, I do not
condone you drinking away your issues. And secondly, I want to hear what you
know about Logan’s sister.”

I laughed, pretending I didn’t hear the one name I
couldn’t stand. “Deal.”

 

Chapter Nine

Snow Angels

 

Midnight had come and gone and
still the music blared, rumbling through the house. Cards were thrown over my
dining-room table, and the alcohol was gone. My plan to forget all about my
troubles was going off without a hitch, aside from the maddening pang in the
corner of my heart I had trouble ignoring.

Logan had already moved on. Why did that hurt so much?
One minute I couldn’t stand him, and the next, I needed him.

I lifted the bottle, staring at it as if I could will it
to refill. No luck. Luke sat across from me with the last of the tequila in
hand, staring out the window.

“Hey!” he complained when I snatched the bottle.

“Come on, let’s build a snowman.” I stood, wobbling to
the back door.

“A snowman?” His eyes were glazed over when I looked back
at him, grabbing a sweatshirt from the chair beside me. I giggled as he stared
past me, confused and completely trashed.

“Uh-huh. You know, three balls and some twigs.
Hmmm…carrots, and what else…” I pulled the hoodie over my thermal that I wore
with dark-wash jeans and grabbed my boots.

He burst out laughing, head thrown back, but I was
serious. I hadn’t made a snowman since I was a child, and I was desperate to go
outside and enjoy the snowfall.

My thick winter coat wasn’t around, or at least within
viewing distance to call out to me, and I was too far gone to process just how
cold it would be that late at night in mid-January. Shoving my feet inside my
tall suede boots, I was ready to go. He stood and pulled on his coat and gloves
and ambled past me, holding open the door.

“Ladies first.”

The snow on the ground was perfect. Soft and fresh, it
continued to drift down over us. My hands stung from the thin gloves I grabbed
walking outside and my ears throbbed from lack of a hat, but I was having too
much fun to stop or even care.

Forming a small snowball, I rolled it on the ground. I
watched mesmerized as it grew bigger and bigger, amazed at how easily it
created the base.

Luke walked over carrying the belly for it, and I burst
out laughing. The ball was more oval than round, and his expression changed
from proud to insulted.

He dropped it in place on top of mine, and when he
stepped back to admire our unfinished masterpiece, he slipped, stumbling over
his own feet and landing on his back. He laughed so loudly I could’ve sworn it
was coming through surround-sound speakers.

“Need a hand?” My eyes were filled with unshed tears from
the endless laughter that poured out of me as I reached down. His face
brightened and lips curled up, and before I had time to react, I saw the spark
of mischief in his eye.

It was too late. He dragged me down beside him.

With a childlike giggle, I let out a deep breath, taking
in the glorious view above. I didn’t care that the cold was burning through my
skin, my sweater buried in snow. The night sky was lit by the reflection in the
snow of the bright stars above us. My eyes grew heavier the longer we lay there
until I felt Luke sit up.

“I’m drunk,” he grumbled, staring off at the woods.

“I didn’t even think you knew what alcohol was,” I
admitted, giggling again. He was always so levelheaded—especially compared to
Caleb.

“I’ll have you know I’ve been to a few keggers in my
day.” He looked back, offended.

I raised an eyebrow, then blew out a deep, gurgled laugh.

“All right, one,” he confessed. “But I dated a girl once
who liked to party. She’d stop by my dorm after curfew and damn, was it always
a night to remember.”

“Luke!” I swatted him on the arm. I’d never heard him
talk like that before. “I’m appalled, but relieved, to know you’re not a
virgin.”

“A virgin!? Hey, Caleb isn’t the only Townsend man who
knows how to please a woman.”

A light flickered on at Logan’s house, drawing both our
attention.

“Maybe Julia’s there,” I suggested, raising an eyebrow.
“I would go see, but then I might run into you-know-who.”

“Well, if you see the girl, maybe you’ll tell her she’s
dating a douchebag.” He stood and walked to my back porch, grabbing the tequila
bottle and taking a long swig.

“Not my place,” I sang out.

Luke must’ve sensed I didn’t like where the conversation
was heading because he called out, “Show me your wings, angel!”

I smiled. As if I could transport myself to the past as a
child in my grandparents’ backyard, I closed my eyes and moved my arms and
legs, creating a beautiful angel.

My body was warm from the liquor, but the chill from the
snow soaked through to the bone. The weight in my arms and legs took over, and
slowly I began to drift into the night when the crunch of snow and an “Oh,
shit!” from Luke brought me back.

“Get up!”

I opened my eyes, my carefree smile falling away, only to
find a dark, familiar figure standing over me. My glossy eyes readjusted to the
darkness, slowly revealing Logan’s taut jaw and livid expression. I was too
drunk to care, instead letting my gaze travel down his lean body, admiring the
way his strong chest bulged from his dark wool coat.

His damp hair led my thoughts straight to him in the
shower—an image I’d dreamed about multiple times before that fateful night—but
even still, that thought alone held my attention. His hair was tousled just
enough to help me visualize the way he must run his hands through it when he
steps out of the shower. It was one of the sexiest things I’d ever seen.

Every inch of thrill inside me skyrocketed to life. I
found myself becoming heated and aroused, and less frozen to the ground.

Why is he here? I thought he was gone for good.
I
guess that’s the problem with being neighbors.

“So help me, God, Cassandra.” He ran his hands over his
face with an exasperated sigh. “You can either get up and walk back inside your
house, or I’ll carry your ass to mine.” His voice was thick, serious, and
surprisingly unpleasant, reminding me why I’d been trying to block him out all
week to begin with.

Buzz kill.

I sat up on my elbows and scoffed. “No!” I exclaimed
before falling back into my outline in the snow, grinning to myself.

Luke was there instantly when Logan reached down to me.
“Hey, relax. I’ll take her inside. She was just trying to have some fun.”

Logan stood straight again to acknowledge him, shooting
daggers, with his jaw clenched in a fury. “You’re not taking her anywhere.”

“What the hell is going on that you had to wake me at…oh,
Cassandra’s having a play date.” Jax’s chuckle rumbled through the night as he
approached us. If I’d had half my wits, I would’ve been humiliated. “This is
why you made me come out here to help you? ‘Cause she’s hooking up?”

Jax looked to me and winked. “Good for you, baby. Now
carry on, and I’ll get my big brother back to bed.” Jax put his arm on Logan’s
shoulder, only to have it ripped away in the same instant.

“Take Luke back home to sleep it off in the guest room.”

“I’m fine—”

Logan took two steps toward him, his jaw tight under the
skin. “If you weren’t Caleb’s kid brother, I’d leave you to pass out here and
fucking freeze.”

“Logan!” I yelled. “What the hell is your problem!?”

I sat back up and attempted to pull myself to stand until
the ground began to spin. Suddenly I was going down headfirst, so I used all my
weight to throw myself back, falling on my ass. With my head hung low between
my knees, buried in my hands, vomit began rising, too quickly to stop.

No, no, no!

I swallowed the burn back down, making a face at the
acidic taste and rancid burn, then looked over at Luke. He gave a sympathetic
shrug, and I could tell he was sobering up. I nodded, reassuring him I was all
right, and watched him walk away with Jax.

“Come on.” Logan’s hand extended down to me. I slapped it
away.

“Cassandra.” He sighed. “You know I will carry you in
there, sweet—” He stopped, unable to say it. His eyes dropped, and the guilt in
them only fueled the fire burning inside me.

I wanted to laugh. I wasn’t his sweetheart, and I was all
too aware of that.

Taking a quick breath to find my balance, I scrambled to
my feet, my body rocking side to side, head complaining. The stiffness in my
joints and soreness in my chest were nothing compared to the anger thundering
though my entire system.

“That’s right, I’m not your sweetheart, so you can’t tell
me what to do!”

“You’re drunk. I’m putting you to bed,” he demanded, and
I snapped.

My body swayed forward and we were face to face, my lips
almost touching . “I’m sure your bed is already full of enough sluts to keep
you busy tonight,” I slurred venomously.

His hands clutched my shoulders, stabilizing me.

“Get off me, you ass!” I shoved him away.

His eyes darkened as he clutched me tighter, his back
teeth grinding. “Cassandra,” he warned, but I couldn’t stop. I pushed against
him with all my strength, and he released his hold on me.

“What!? What do you want from me!?” I yelled, stepping
back, arms stretched out. Then it dawned on me. My eyes narrowed into menacing slits.
“Oh, wait, I remember. You want to fuck me. Well, here I am! What are you
waiting for, huh?”

He stood there, silently stoic.

“You want me? Come and get me.” I yanked my freezing, wet
hoodie over my head followed by the white thermal underneath, leaving me
exposed in a pink cotton bra.

He stepped closer, intent on stopping my actions, but I
continued backing away, nearly stumbling to the ground. By some luck, I managed
to steady myself, rage controlling my moves.

My fingers worked quickly to undo the button of my jeans,
but his hands were there, stopping me before I could tug the zipper down. I
smacked his hand away and looked up to see his brows lowered over his
glistening eyes, staring at my chest covered in deep-yellow bruises.

I snorted a half sob, half chuckle. “Oh, right, now you
don’t want me anymore—now that I’m damaged goods, now that you broke my heart
and sent me off to get run down!” I poked my finger at his chest. “You should
have stopped me from driving! Stopped me from leaving! Stopped me from ever
falling in love with you!”

I slapped my hand over my mouth, breathless, speechless.
Love?
I gasped, staring dumbly at the ground, tears prickling my eyes.

“No.” It spilled in a tiny whisper from my lips.
No no
no.
I ached to take it back—not my confession to him, but from my own ears.
I never loved him, did I?
My head was spinning, and before I could
figure it out, his rough, broken voice penetrated the silence.

“Cassandra.”

I lifted my head slowly, meeting his glossy eyes that
held so much tenderness I had to force myself to look away. It brought forth
too many memories of the last few months I’d spent with him. I sucked in a
chilly breath of air and released it again and again.

My hands trembled as I held them up to stop him from
coming any closer when I heard his footsteps in the snow.

“No.” I wiped away a stray tear. I needed to stay strong.
I took another breath and met his gaze. “You don’t get to be all nice now. You
don’t get to waltz back into my life as though nothing happened. I’m tired of
this—tired of you playing games with me.” My chin quivered, my teeth catching
my bottom lip to calm it. I took another breath, closing my eyes as it refilled
my lungs.

“You drive me insane. Do you understand that? Do you
realize what you’ve done to me?” My hands flew up, gripping the sides of my
head, pulling at my hair. “You made me feel all those things. Why?” My voice
grew louder as the war raged inside me, and my arms dropped to my sides. “Why
did you do this to me? Why did you make you me care about you? Why? Answer me!”

He said nothing.

Unable to control myself any longer, I barreled forward
and smacked him hard against the chest. “Answer me, God damn it!”

It felt good, but I knew it wasn’t right. It wasn’t me. I
didn’t know who I was anymore.

Logan didn’t even stumble back. His strong body took each
blow with ease as he let me unload on him.

“Why? Please, tell me why!” I screamed, shoving him again
and again. “I wanted you, all of you, and it was just a game! Why? Do you like
seeing me suffering—dying inside every time you’re near? Because even after
what you did, what you said to me, I still feel you there, in my broken heart.
You’re a part of me, and I hate you for that! So tell me why! Please!” I
continued, tears raining down my face, my palms banging against his chest over
and over until my head dropped forward and rested there.

“I thought you were different, but it was all a game,” I
finished, panting.

My voice was not my own. Defeated, my knees gave out,
causing me to slump down. He caught me before I hit the ground and pulled me
up, cradling me in his arms, where I cried. It hurt everywhere as he carried me
inside.

Blood pounded in my ears and nausea settled over me as my
anger washed away, and I was left with my raw, vulnerable pain, laid out for
him to see. With my head buried in his neck, tears covering my face, I let it
all out in a shattered whisper.

“You terrify me. I fight so…so hard to keep my guard up,
to push you away… even if that means you’ll hate me. Everyone can hate me for
pushing you away…but they don’t know. They don’t feel it. It hurts. Everything
hurts, ‘cause I miss you. I miss us.” I shook my head violently. “I can’t. I
can’t.”

“Shhh, you need rest right now.” We were in my bedroom,
and he laid me down on the mattress gently.

“I know what you’re doing, and I know that it’s working.
But I can’t…I can’t, Logan, please…” My eyelids were heavy, a fog setting in as
they drifted shut. I wasn’t sure whether I said it aloud, but I longed for him
to hear me as I repeated “Don’t hurt me” until I was taken away into the
darkness.

BOOK: Irreplaceable
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