It's All Relative (33 page)

Jessie paused in helping her get comfortable. She’d emphasized work more than April. Jessie thought back to that awkward moment with his boss and Kai’s comment that he didn’t think the man liked him. With a frown, Jessie sat back down. “Well, I think he’s happy in general. He and April are just starting, so I don’t really know about that yet.” And she really didn’t want to know. Bringing a finger to her lip, she tapped it while she thought. “But work…I don’t know. He said something strange once.”

Grams leaned forward, her eyes wide. “What did he say?”

The sudden worry in her voice was so intense, it caught Jessie off-guard. Worried about her grandmother falling off her chair, Jessie quickly answered with, “He just said he didn’t think his boss liked him, and when I met the man, he did seem odd around Kai. I merely told him his eyes were a similar shade to Kai’s, and he practically ran away.”

Her grandmother’s face paled as she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. Concerned over the emotion she saw brewing on the old woman’s face, Jessie quietly asked, “Are you okay, Grams?”

Her grandmother looked over at her with aged, tired eyes. “Just feeling that pain now, Jessica Marie.” Reaching over, she patted her knee. “Could you get some more pills for me, dear?” Jessie nodded and stood to go get them. Her grandmother grabbed her hand before she walked away. “Don’t let Kai get so involved with a woman that he slips away from you. He needs you, Jessica. He needs his family.”

Her eyes were intent on Jessie, and swallowing a painful lump, Jessie made herself nod. She wasn’t sure that she
could
stay close to Kai though, especially if things between him and April picked up. But Grams was right, he
was
family, and if Kai ever needed her, she had every intention of being there for him. Grams face was so serious, so troubled, and Jessie had no idea why.

Jessie thought about it all the way home. The look on Gram’s face, the tenor of her voice. It was almost like she was anticipating a tragedy in Kai’s life. Jessie wondered what could possibly be coming for Kai…right up until she pulled into her driveway and saw his bike on the curb. Then she forgot all about her grandmother’s odd statement, and focused on another problem.

It was Saturday, and Kai and April had another date. Their
third
date. And everyone knows what happens on the third date. Well, everyone who knows April, knows what happens on the third date, if not sooner. Jessie knew from listening to April’s stories about her dates with Kai that it hadn’t happened yet. Much to April’s dismay, it hadn’t gotten anywhere near happening yet. But April liked Kai, and April liked sex, and she was determined to combine the two things she liked tonight. She’d mentioned that little fact to Jessie this morning. Jessie hadn’t been able to eat anything all day long.

Jessie hated it so much. She hated thinking about another woman’s hands on his body, a body that had last been touched and caressed by her. She hated that she was about to be erased from his skin. Not that there was actually any physical part of Jessie left on Kai, or vice-versa, but Jessie liked to think that the last person you were with, somehow stayed with you. Their essence stayed a part of you, until it was replaced by someone else. Jessie was fairly certain that Kai hadn’t slept with anyone else yet. Not that he would mention that to Jessie. But with how close they were, and how he’d reacted to her comment about his coworker, and how slow he was taking things with April, Jessie just knew there was no one else. Jessie also knew that April would be persistent on this, and Kai was making an effort to move past her. Sex was how guys moved on.

She hated thinking about it…and she couldn’t stop. It still filled her with revulsion when she thought of her and Kai’s one night together, but it gave her warm feelings, too. Deep feelings that she shouldn’t have for her cousin. So as difficult as it was to watch him pursue a romance with April, as hard as it was going to be to listen to April talk about their incredible sex life all the time, Jessie had to endure it. It was the only way for both of them to let go.

Pushing back the pinpricks of tears stinging her eyes, Jessie tore her gaze from Kai’s bike and prepared herself to see him again. Butterflies tickled her stomach as she opened her front door. Wrong as it was, seeing him still affected her, even after all these weeks, even after seeing him less and less. Just the fact that the excitement hadn’t gone away yet was further proof that they were on the right track. She had to get to a point where the thought of seeing his face didn’t make her want to squeal like a school girl.

Walking into her home, Jessie steeled herself to be all right with whatever she might see. Stomach clenched in anticipation, her eyes quickly swept the living room. She let out a soft exhale when she discovered the room empty. Good. She didn’t think she could handle stumbling upon them kissing. Thinking the two of them were probably in the kitchen, Jessie turned to go to her bedroom; she didn’t want to see the two of them laughing and making small talk before heading out to destinations unknown. She’d seen enough of that recently to last a lifetime.

Moving away from where she thought they were, Jessie ended up facing them. She could only stare in shock as Kai and April stood at the far end of the hallway, in front of Jessie’s bedroom door. Her heart started pounding. Oh, God, they were bypassing the date and heading straight for the finish line. Jessie wanted to run, but she couldn’t move.

April had him cornered at the end of the hall. She was leaning into Kai, pressing as much of her body against him as she could. Leaning up, she touched her lips to his. He seemed a little uncomfortable with the contact and didn’t return the kiss, but he didn’t pull away either. Neither one of them seemed to notice Jessie standing at the other end of the hall, watching them.

April smiled, undaunted, and began peppering him with light kisses. Kai relaxed, and his lips began to move with hers. Jessie was horrified yet entranced by their progressing connection. As she stupidly continued staring, she noticed that Kai was tentative, not enjoying it nearly as much as April. Was that because of her?

Just as Jessie thought to leave them alone, her heart heavy, like it was slowly being crushed by a thousand lead weights, Kai pulled away from April. Face intense, like he was contemplating something important, he studied his date. Then, some silent decision reached, his hand wrapped around April’s waist, and for the first time that Jessie had ever seen, Kai leaned down to her, initiating the contact. A new kind of horror filled Jessie’s gut as she watched Kai’s mouth passionately move over her friend’s. Betrayal surged through her, forcing her to stomp down the hall. Oddly enough, it was the exact same feeling that had flashed through her when she’d caught Jeremy screwing that other woman.

Red-hot fire burned through every part of her. Seeing them make-out, knowing where it was going to end up…turned out it was more than Jessie could handle. Knowing she was out of line, out of place, and possibly out of her mind, she stormed right up to the pair.

“Hey! You guys mind not doing that right in front of my bedroom?” Jessie wasn’t sure which person her question was directed at. Both turned to look at her—April seemed annoyed at the intrusion, Kai looked guilty, like he’d just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Jessie focused on him. “Are you going to go on your
date
, or are you going to make out in the hall all night?”

Kai opened his mouth, but April was the one who responded first. “We were just getting ready to leave. I thought you were hanging out at your grandmother’s house tonight?”

“I changed my mind.” Jessie swung her eyes to her friend. She had a suggestive smirk on her face that enraged Jessie, and Jessie couldn’t hold back the words that were slowly killing her. “Don’t leave on my account, April. All you’ve talked about since you first saw Kai was getting into his pants. Why bother with the formality of an actual date, when you could just screw him right here on the floor?”

April instantly bristled, while Kai’s eyes widened in shock. “Wow, bitchy much? What the hell has you all bent out of shape? What do you care if Kai and I want to get to know each other better? We’re both consenting adults.”

Jessie knew April was right, and that knowledge pissed her off even more. “God, April, don’t be a whore. Have some self-respect,” she snapped.

April looked like Jessie had just physically assaulted her. “Seriously?
You
are gonna use that word on me? That’s interesting, coming from a girl who just a few weeks ago fucked a total stranger whose name she can’t even remember. At least I’ve gone on a couple of dates with him.” She jerked her thumb back at Kai. He closed his eyes, clearly wanting to be anywhere other than here.

Jessie sputtered for a good comeback. All she had was, “At least I wasn’t the one walking around with a condom in my pocket that night! You were prowling for action!”

April’s eyes narrowed as she stepped into Jessie. “That pervy dude slipped it to me. And I might have had it, but you’re the one who used it!” She poked her finger into Jessie’s chest. Jessie started a rebuttal, but April was riled up now and beat her to it. “Am I not good enough to screw your cousin? Is that it? You just don’t want me near your family?”

Jessie hated this entire conversation, hated that she was fighting with her friend, and hated that April was pointing out Kai’s DNA. She didn’t want to think about that right now. She didn’t want to think about anything other than how to stop April from sleeping with Kai.

Jessie had a scathing comment on her lips, one that would probably end her friendship with April, but just as she opened her mouth to say it, Kai stepped forward and grabbed her elbow. She tried to pull away from him, but his grip was like iron. Turning to April, he said, “Jessie and I need to talk for a minute. We’ll be right back.”

Her face red and splotchy, April snipped, “Whatever,” and crossed her arms over her chest.

Leaving her fuming in the hallway, Kai pushed Jessie through her bedroom door, then walked in and closed it behind them. Jessie’s chest was heaving as she watched him slowly turn around to face her. He looked as angry as she felt. “What the hell are you doing? Do you want her to remember it was me at the club? Do you want her to know about us?”

Knowing she was being jealous and irrational, Jessie sputtered, “What the hell were
you
doing? Were you going to sleep with her? Already?” She knew that sounded ridiculous, since April was right, and she’d slept with him much, much sooner.

Kai glanced behind himself, at the closed door. Jessie could hear April screeching to Harmony in the kitchen, then she heard her boots stomping down the hallway, most likely to complain to Harmony about Jessie. Bringing his sea-green eyes back to Jessie, Kai pointed his thumb over his shoulder. “You think we were about to have sex because we were kissing?”

Jessie stepped forward, closing their distance. Pain, anger, and jealousy clouding her common sense, she spat, “You have your third date tonight. I know what happens on third dates, I know the rule.” Jessie pointed at April’s bedroom door, right across from hers. “I know what was about to happen in there.”

Kai closed his eyes and sighed. He seemed exhausted when he reopened them. Staring at her with wistful eyes, he calmly said, “That’s not my rule, Jessie. I had no plans…to do anything.”

Jessie stuck her chin out; it was quivering. She wasn’t sure why she was picking a fight with him, or why she was picking a fight with April. Neither of them had done anything wrong. “No plans to do anything…but kiss her. I saw you grab her. I saw you lean down to her. I saw
you
kiss
her
.” Jessie’s eyes began to water as she replayed the event that had finally broken her. She couldn’t handle this. Voice wavering, she choked out, “And I already know you don’t mind moving fast.” Jessie felt her cheeks heat with anger and embarrassment. She shouldn’t have said that; it was hypocritical of her.

By the way Kai pursed his lips, it was clear he agreed. Stepping forward, he flung his hands out to the side. In a quiet voice he hissed, “I’m doing what you asked, Jessie. I’m trying to have a relationship with April, to stop this!” He indicated the space between them and Jessie felt her heated cheeks flush. He was right, he was
so
right; she had no room to be angry. None at all. Not finished with his defense, Kai took another step closer. “I can’t date April and not kiss her. She’s not that type of girl, and you knew that when you set me up with her.” Lowering his head, his eyes narrowed as he flicked his gaze between hers. “I’m trying to go slow with her, but April is…aggressive. I have to show her I’m somewhat interested, even if I’m…”

Pulling back, throwing his hands up again. “I’m trying to move forward, Jessie. You said this was okay. I didn’t know you were here, and I’m sorry you had to see that, but I’m trying to do what you asked me to do!”

Jessie stepped forward until she was touching him. Just the slight act of their bodies brushing together instantly sent fire through her body. She hated it, and loved it. Shaking her head, her eyes thick with pent-up tears of frustration, she told him, “I know, Kai. I know what I said. I know that I asked you to do something you didn’t really want to do. I know that you’re doing it for us, so we can be more…like family.”

Her voice broke on the word family and she had to swallow the knot in her throat. Kai’s pained eyes tracked her movement. Just when he looked about to speak, she interrupted. “But it’s too hard. I lied when I said it was okay. It’s not. I can’t stand the thought of you being with her. I hate hearing about you kissing her. And the thought of you sleeping with her…I can’t…I just can’t handle it. It makes me sick.”

Kai’s face softened as he let out a weary exhale. Shaking his head, he ran his hands through his hair. “What do you want from me, Jessie? You’re the one who thought placing someone between us would help. Isn’t that what you said? We needed a buffer? If April is too close to you, if seeing us together is too hard, then what do we do, Jessie? Who will make this easier? Who should I be with?”