Karlology (25 page)

I
rea
d
some
b
o
dy
f
acts
f
rom m
y
b
oo
k:

T
h
e
h
uman s
k
e
l
eton is ma
d
e u
p
o
f
206
b
ones
.

W
e
h
ave more
b
ones w
h
en we are
b
orn t
h
en t
h
ey
f
use toget
h
er
.

A
cold
brain
works
better
than
a
warm
brain.

There are normall
y
around 100,000 hairs on the head. Blon
d
p
eo
pl
e
h
ave more, wit
h
aroun
d
130,000, an
d
g
in
g
er
p
eo
pl
e
h
av
e
l
ess, at aroun
d
90,000.
Some would say that’s 90,000 too
man
y.

I
t was
h
ar
d
to concentrate on my
b
oo
k
f
or two reasons,
(1)
p
ro
b
a
bly
b
ein
g
t
h
at t
h
e air con
d
i
d
n’t wor
k
– an
d
I’
d
j
ust rea
d
t
h
at
b
rains
d
on’t wor
k
we
ll
in
h
eat; an
d
(2)
b
ein
g
that one of the salesmen never stopped talking. If he wasn’t talking, he was crunching on Maltesers. He was explainin
g
to t
h
e
j
unior sa
l
esman
h
ow
h
e a
l
wa
y
s
b
oo
k
s t
h
e same seat
o
n t
h
e train. W
h
en t
h
e
j
unior as
k
e
d
w
hy
,
h
e sai
d
, “Sim
pl
e.
P
ower point for laptop, small personal table, footrest, and
b
agging area close by so I can keep an eye on my bag”. He t
h
en
h
a
d
anot
h
er Ma
l
teser. He use
d
t
h
e Ma
l
tesers
l
i
k
e
f
u
ll
sto
p
s in
h
is sentences
.

I
d
eci
d
e
d
to
l
oo
k
at t
h
e
p
ictures in m
y
b
oo
k
t
h
at s
h
owe
d
the inside of the body, as this took less concentration than
r
eading. There seems to be way too much stuff crammed into t
h
e
b
o
dy
, w
h
ic
h
ma
d
e me won
d
er
h
ow t
h
ere was
e
noug
h
room in it
f
or t
h
e
f
u
ll
tu
b
e o
f
Pring
l
es t
h
at t
h
e
w
oman rea
d
in
g
g
ossi
p
ma
g
azines
h
a
d
eaten
by
h
erse
lf
.

I
’ve thou
g
ht about the bod
y
and its la
y
out before. If there’s a couple of things I could change, one would be to move the testicles as I’m forever sitting on them. I’d pop t
h
em into t
h
e ear
l
o
b
es as ear
l
o
b
es
d
on’t seem to
b
e
d
oin
g
muc
h
, an
d
t
h
is wou
ld
k
ee
p
t
h
e testic
l
es at a nice tem
p
er
a
ture, which is what the experts say is good for them. And as well as that, having them in the earlobes would make it more accepta
bl
e to c
h
ec
k
t
h
em
f
or
l
umps in pu
bl
ic p
l
aces, sa
y
w
h
en
q
ueuin
g
in a
p
ost o
ffi
ce or su
p
ermar
k
et. It wou
ld
a
l
so
p
ut a sto
p
to men
h
avin
g
earrin
g
s, w
h
ic
h
is somet
h
in
g
I
’ve never really thought was right. The other idea is to swap around the heart and brain so that the brain is more
p
rotecte
d
an
d
not in a
pl
ace t
h
at I
k
ee
p
b
an
g
in
g
on
l
ow
d
oor
f
rames. T
h
is wou
ld
a
l
so mean c
y
c
l
ists wou
ld
n’t
h
ave to wear helmets. It would also be good to have a second heart, but since I’ve seen how crowded it is inside the body,
I
d
on’t
k
now w
h
ere I’
d
put it, so t
h
at i
d
ea is on
h
o
ld
. Ot
h
er t
h
an t
h
at, I t
h
in
k
t
h
e
b
o
dy
is
p
rett
y
we
ll
pl
anne
d
out.

MY EAR
S

I don’t know how to rest m
y ears

They both sit there listening in

It
cou
l
d
be
w
o
r
se

I cou
ld
h
ave
f
our

J
ust
l
i
k
e a Siamese twin

(Saying that, with four ears there’s
n
o c
h
ance o
f
over-s
l
eeping.
)

T
he
sales
m
a
n
had
eate
n
all
h
i
s
M
altese
r
s
a
n
d
had
m
o
v
ed
o
nto Jaffa Cakes, which meant I could read again as they aren’t as noisy. I read that they’ve managed to stop a cell a
g
ein
g
on a worm. I
d
on’t
k
now w
hy
t
h
e
y
teste
d
it on a
w
orm, I’ve never looked at one and thought “that looks
old
”. T
h
e
y
a
l
wa
y
s
d
o t
h
ese scienti
fi
c tests on t
h
e wron
g
creatures. It’s
l
i
k
e
h
ow w
h
en it came to c
l
onin
g
, t
h
e
y
went and did a sheep. Why? All sheep look the same so it was hard to see how good the cloning was. I’d be more i
m
p
resse
d
i
f
t
h
ey stoppe
d
a may
fl
y
f
rom ageing as t
h
ey on
l
y
l
ive a da
y
, so the
y
’d be more
g
rateful than a worm.
A
l
so,
w
orms are
bl
in
d
, so won’t
b
e
b
ot
h
ere
d
a
b
out
h
ow o
ld
t
h
e
y
l
ook. I’d be interested to see if they can make a tortoise
l
ook young. I’ve always wondered if looking old is the reason
f
or tortoises
l
ivin
g
f
or
y
ears. Cos t
h
e
y
l
oo
k
o
ld
, t
h
e
y
act o
ld
, w
h
ic
h
means t
h
at t
h
e
y
move s
l
ow
ly
an
d
ta
k
e more care, whereas if they looked young they might start doing m
o
r
e
act
iv
e
stu
ff
a
n
d
h
a
v
e
m
o
r
e
acc
i
de
n
ts
a
n
d
d
i
e
out.