Karlology (11 page)

The guide said that the museum staff call the
D
iplodo
cus
“Di
ppy
”. Humans
l
ove namin
g
stu
ff
. W
h
en a w
h
a
l
e
g
ot
l
ost an
d
en
d
e
d
u
p
g
ettin
g
stuc
k
in t
h
e River T
h
ames,
e
ver
y
one started comin
g
u
p
with names for it
q
uicker than they came up with solutions to save it. When I was looking
o
n t
h
e internet a
b
out
d
inosaurs
,
I rea
d
t
h
at a T. rex
f
oun
d
in Montana was name
d
“T
h
omas t
h
e T. Rex”. We
l
ove
n
amin
g
stu
ff
so muc
h
t
h
at it’
ll
g
et to a
p
oint w
h
ere
y
ou
g
o to the Doctor’s and he says, “I’m afraid you’ve got a touch
o
f ‘Colin the Cancer’ in your lungs”
.

I
t sai
d
t
h
at,
f
or
y
ears, t
h
e museum
d
is
pl
a
y
e
d
t
h
e
D
i
p
lod
ocus
tai
l
d
ragging on t
h
e groun
d
, unti
l
new researc
h
s
h
owe
d
t
h
ese
d
inosaurs
p
ro
b
a
bly
carrie
d
t
h
eir tai
l
s u
p
in t
h
e air. So the
y
’ve now lifted it u
p
b
y
attachin
g
wires from the ceilin
g
.
I
don’t know if they really did do the research or if people kept tripping over it and the museum came up with this stor
y
to
g
et it out o
f
t
h
e wa
y
. Ma
k
es me won
d
er i
f
T. rex
r
ea
lly
d
i
d
stan
d
on its two
b
ac
k
l
e
g
s as t
h
e
y
su
gg
este
d
, or is this another thin
g
the
y
made u
p
so it took u
p
less floor space so they could open the expensive café.

T
h
ere was in
f
ormation a
b
out t
h
e
d
i
ff
erent ways peop
l
e t
h
in
k
d
inosaurs ma
y
h
ave
b
ecome extinct. T
h
ere was t
h
e asteroi
d
t
h
eor
y
, severe ice a
g
e, conta
g
ious
d
isease, a
g
iant volcano, and they recently found a dinosaur that had evidence of parasites living inside it, which may have finished it o
ff
. It’s t
h
in
g
s
l
i
k
e
p
arasites t
h
at ma
k
e me
h
o
p
e reincarnation
d
oesn’t
h
a
pp
en. I wou
ld
n’t min
d
comin
g
b
ac
k
as a
d
o
g
o
r a bud
g
ie, but a
p
arasite? What a
g
rim existence that is. I
w
atched a programme about tapeworms. Horrible things, t
h
ey are. T
h
ey spen
d
more time
l
iving insi
d
e somet
h
in
g
el
se’s
b
o
dy
t
h
an t
h
e
y
s
p
en
d
in t
h
e outsi
d
e wor
ld
, an
d
t
h
en t
h
eir
l
ast
f
ew moments o
f
l
i
f
e are s
p
ent comin
g
out o
f
som
e
o
ne
’
s arse. It
’
s not great is it?

When I was younger we had a cat. Well, we had a lot
of
cats as we
l
ive
d
on a main roa
d
an
d
g
ot t
h
rou
gh
t
h
em
quic
kl
y,
b
ut one o
f
t
h
em jumpe
d
on t
h
e ta
bl
e an
d
I notice
d
somet
h
in
g
h
an
g
in
g
f
rom its
b
ac
k
si
d
e. I to
ld
me
d
a
d
an
d
he had a look and said it looked like a
tapeworm. Me mam put some rub
b
er cleaning gloves on and grabbed it. It stretc
h
e
d
to a
b
out two
f
oot. T
h
e cat
d
i
d
n’t
l
oo
k
h
a
ppy
. It was u
s
in
g
its claws to clin
g
to the crack i
n
the table as me mam pulled the thing
out. It eventually left the cat. Turned out it wasn’t a
tapeworm but an elastic band that the cat must have eaten.

However t
h
e
d
inosaurs were wi
p
e
d
out, t
h
e c
h
ances are it will happen again and wipe us out. I’m sure we can slow down the ageing process of the Earth a little, by using less
e
ner
gy
an
d
a
ll
t
h
at,
b
ut t
h
e wor
ld
is sti
ll
g
ettin
g
o
ld
an
d
we can’t sto
p
t
h
at. No matter
h
ow muc
h
anti-a
g
ein
g
cream a
w
oman
p
uts on her face, or how much
p
lastic sur
g
er
y
she has, she can’t escape getting old and looking grim. I think t
h
is is w
h
y nature ma
k
es sure we
l
ose our sig
h
t as we get
old
er – it’s so we
d
on’t
l
eave our o
ld
p
artners an
d
tr
y
an
d
g
et somet
h
in
g
newer. I t
h
in
k
t
h
e reason
d
ivorce num
b
ers are up is cos of the invention of glasses and contact lenses
.