Karlology (33 page)

Di
d
n’t see any newspapers to
d
ay as it never stoppe
d
raining, so I
d
i
d
n’t want to
g
o out
f
or one
.

H
ad
so
m
e
n
e
w
s
e
-m
a
i
led
to
m
e
f
r
o
m
a
m
ate.
I
t
w
as
about how scientists may have found a cure for baldness. It doesn’t bother me being bald. I’d have the cure if Suzanne
w
ante
d
me to
h
ave
h
air a
g
ain, cos I
f
ee
l
l
i
k
e I’ve conne
d
h
er as I
h
a
d
h
air w
h
en s
h
e met me. Min
d
you,
h
er arse is
n
ow
b
i
gg
er t
h
an w
h
en I met
h
er, so I su
pp
ose we’ve
b
ot
h
bee
n
do
n
e.

Another fish has been found with two heads. The report said we shouldn’t get worried just cos a few fish have been
f
oun
d
wit
h
more t
h
an one
h
ea
d
. T
h
e wa
y
t
h
e
y
re
p
orte
d
it ma
d
e it seem
l
i
k
e a ma
j
or
p
ro
bl
em. I’m not t
h
at worrie
d
. It
w
ill m
a
k
e
t
h
e
m
eas
i
e
r
to
catc
h
cos
t
h
e
r
e
’
s
m
o
r
e
c
h
a
n
ce
of
o
ne of the heads going for the bait. It does make it difficult
f
or t
h
em peop
l
e w
h
ose jo
b
it is to
d
o a
fi
s
h
census, t
h
oug
h
.
M
a
k
es t
h
e
h
ea
d
count tric
ky
.

M
e mam called and asked if I was still collecting news. I sai
d
y
es. S
h
e t
h
en to
ld
me a
b
out a
bl
o
k
e w
h
o
p
ut
h
is w
h
o
l
e
l
i
f
e’s savin
g
s into a sa
f
et
y
d
e
p
osit
b
ox. W
h
en
h
e went
b
ac
k
to collect it, it was all
g
one. Turns out there was some kind
o
f termite in the deposit boxes that loves eating money. I as
k
e
d
i
f
t
h
e termite was sti
ll
sat in t
h
e
b
ox a
ll
f
at
f
rom t
h
e mone
y
it
h
a
d
eaten,
b
ut s
h
e
d
i
d
n’t
k
now. I trie
d
to
fi
n
d
out more on t
h
e internet
b
ut en
d
e
d
u
p
rea
d
in
g
a
b
out s
l
u
g
s. I
f
ound out that they are hermaphroditic, which means they are both sexes and can have it away with themselves. I heard a
g
es a
g
o t
h
at s
l
u
g
s are causin
g
a ma
j
or
p
ro
bl
em wit
h
t
h
e
p
osta
l
service. T
h
e
y
’ve
b
een
g
ettin
g
into
p
ost
b
oxes as t
h
e
y
e
njoy eating the glue off the back of stamps, so people have
b
een receiving post and getting charged for postage due to t
h
e
l
etters
h
avin
g
no stam
p
s on t
h
em. Ma
yb
e t
h
is is w
hy
s
l
u
g
s move so s
l
ow
ly
an
d
ta
k
e so
l
on
g
to
g
et an
y
w
h
ere – it’s cos the
y
eat
g
lue, so
p
robabl
y
sweat
g
lue and
g
et stuck to
p
avement. The harder they try and move, the more glue sweat t
h
ey pro
d
uce, an
d
t
h
e more stuc
k
t
h
ey
b
ecome.