Knight in Shining Suit (28 page)

I stared at him. I could
tell that he was serious. And that made my heart feel lighter. And
I knew that I couldn’t deny him that. Ryder was one of the most
wonderful people I’d met. I may not believe he and I could
genuinely be involved with each other, but yeah, friendship works.
I nodded.

“
I mean it,” he continued.
“I hope we can be friends. Friends that get in touch with each
other regularly… call each other when they’re in each other’s
cities. Maybe even grab some dinner or lunch some time. Not
the
I-knew-you-from-somewhere-sometime
kind of friends.”

I giggled. Then I nodded
again. “Okay. Sounds easy enough.”

He stared at me for a
while. And then he smiled slowly. “Thank you… It has been… a…
surreal weekend.”

“
Surreal? Even for you?” I
teased.

He stared at me seriously.
“Even for me, Astrid.”

My heart pounded inside my
ribcage. But then I had to remind myself that even if Ryder and I
were attracted to each other, I was not ready yet. Even if I were,
he’s a complicated man. A relationship would be too demanding. He’d
be too busy for me, and I’d crave too much of his time.

I wanted my next
relationship to be nothing like my relationship with Bryan, where
both of us were caught up with our own stuff. I was too busy with
my job to notice the looks and the secret smiles that he shared
with Geena.

Now, if I were to have a
relationship again—if I would allow myself to believe in ‘ever
after’ again, I’d want to give my boyfriend time every day. And I’d
want the same from him. Like what Ryder and I shared this weekend.
I wanted it to last for more than a weekend. I would want my
boyfriend to be truly mine… and mine alone.

“
Now my debt is repaid,” I
told him.

He nodded slightly. Then
he took my hand in his and he slowly brought it to his
lips.

“
Until we meet again,” he
said.

I smiled and then I turned
away and closed the door behind me. My heart felt heavy. I don’t
know why. But somehow, a part of me felt so lonely.

14.

BRIDESMAIDS AND
GROOMSMEN:

Forms part of your
entourage. They must be of assistance when required at any given
time during the wedding.

T
uesday night, I met up with my friends. “So, what happened to
you last weekend? You don’t just take off to Neverland and not tell
us!” Nicole scolded me.

“
I went to Miami,” I told
them. “Something I needed to do to repay my debt.”

Dannie raised a brow. “Who
were you with?”

I took a deep breath
before I answered. “Ryder Van Woodsen.”

“
Holy crap!” Nicole
wailed. “Do tell!”

“
There’s nothing to tell!”
I told them.

“
You don’t spend a whole
weekend with a god and say that there’s nothing to tell!” Dannie
scolded me.

I sighed. “I met up with
his best friends. He had a bet with them. He had to introduce a
girlfriend to them before his next birthday. He asked me to pretend
to be his girlfriend. Same thing I asked of him at the wedding.
Since he didn’t accept my check, I thought I would repay him this
way.”

“
Didn’t he accept your
virginity before?” John laughed. I threw a ball of tissue at
him.

“
So? Nothing happened?”
Nicole asked. I turned red, and unfortunately, my friends could
read me like a book.

“
So you’re hooking up with
this guy! Finally! Next time you meet with your family, you won’t
be lying anymore! The charade has turned real,” Dannie
said.

“
Of course not!” I
snorted. “I made a mistake that night of the wedding. Okay, let’s
say I repeated that mistake—a lot—this weekend. That doesn’t mean
it’s for real. Ryder Van Woodsen? Come on, guys! Do you think guys
like him stick to a monogamous relationship that leads to the
altar? Besides, I’m not ready for a real relationship
yet.”

“
Then why did you have
sex—a lot—this weekend?” Nicole asked raising her brow.

“
It wasn’t part of the
deal. We tried to stop it from happening, but the pull was stronger
than either of us could fight. We gave in. But we made it clear to
each other that it was just for the weekend.”

“
Then ... you agreed to
not see each other anymore?”

“
We agreed to be friends.
But nope, we’re not going out on dates. No hope of a commitment in
the future. Ryder is a complicated man. He is too busy with work
and too guarded about his… status in life. I’m sure he’d be a great
friend… even a friend with benefits. But after Bryan, I don’t need
that, guys. I need to believe that I
could
get married again. That ‘ever
after’ is still possible in my future. I’m not looking for a
temporary fix or a playmate.”

“
Wow! Ryder is a lucky
man!” John said shaking his head.

“
Just exactly what do you
mean by that?” I asked.

John shrugged. “I mean…
you’re not exactly a wallflower, Ash! If you weren’t my best
friend, I’d be hitting on you right now!”

I rolled my eyes. “And
your point is?”

“
Within twenty-four hours
of meeting you, you gave him what Bryan was coveting for years. And
then you spent a hot weekend together, and
you
told
him
you don’t want anything to do
with him. Wow! I must get pointers from this guy!”

I threw another ball of
tissue at him. But even though I didn't want to admit it, I knew
that John had a point. Usually, girls spend a steamy weekend with
guys and ask for more. I can’t say I was not tempted. But what
for?

I don’t think Ryder is a
relationship kind of guy. If he were, then he would have found
himself a real girlfriend instead of asking me to pretend in front
of his best friends. I was in a relationship that I thought would
last forever. It didn’t. Why would I risk entering a relationship
that didn’t spell forever from the beginning?

But Ryder and I have this…
physical connection. We gave in to that thirst. I had to walk away
quickly… while I was still unscathed.

“
I’m not ready to have a
relationship just yet. Ryder… well, there was a physical thing
between us. I gave in to that. But that’s all. No expectations. No
commitments. No strings attached!”

I knew that I’d rather be
sad about the fact that Ryder and I could never be than heartbroken
for trying and then seeing that it was never going to
work.

Friday night, I worked
late. It was already eight in the evening when I decided to call it
a day. My phone rang. My friends could be in one of the bars
already, asking me to follow them there.

“
Hello,” I answered
without looking at the caller ID, expecting it to be Nicole, Dannie
or John.

“
Ash…” That familiar voice
did not belong to any of my three best friends.

My heart pounded inside my
ribcage. It took me a couple of seconds to find my
voice.

“
Hi,” I said almost in a
squeak.

“
I’m in town,” Ryder said.
“I’ve just gotten off a long meeting and I’m starving.”

I smiled to myself. “So,
what does that have to do with me?”

“
Because I happened to
drive by your block and I was thinking maybe you’re hungry
too.”

I giggled. I didn’t have
dinner yet and I was starving.

“
So what do you have in
mind?”

“
Japanese, or Chinese.
Something Asian,” he replied.

There’s nothing wrong with
dinner. We did agree to be friends. Have some dinner some time. Not
exactly a date. And I was hungry. I didn’t see anything wrong with
this picture.

“
Alright,” I said quietly.
I could barely breathe.

“
Okay. Come out of your
house anytime you’re ready.”

I laughed. “You’re here
already?”

“
A few seconds
away.”

“
Then what would you have
done if I said no?”

“
I’d… be eating alone.” He
chuckled.

“
Okay, give me fifteen
minutes.”

When I hung up, I raced to
my room. I hopped in the shower quickly and then I dressed in a
white floral dress. I only put on lip-gloss. No time for make-up.
Didn’t really want Ryder to think I was trying to look good for
him. That is just completely the opposite of what I was standing up
for. We slept together in the past, and now we’re just friends. I
didn’t need to impress him.

When he saw me come out of
the house, he got out of his car and opened the passenger door for
me. I looked up at him before I got inside. He had a crooked smile
on his face.

“
Hi,” he whispered
softly.

I smiled back at him.
“Hey.” His smile was about to melt my knees and I was blushing
already so I quickly hopped inside his car. I took deep breaths as
he rounded his car to get into the driver’s seat.

We didn’t speak to each
other for the next five minutes. It’s as if we both didn’t know
what to say.

I stared over at the car
window.
Stop this, Astrid! You have to
stop feeling all giddy and weird! You’re friends who are going to
dinner! Treat him the way you’d treat John!

“
So, how are you?” he
finally asked, breaking the silence.

“
Busy. Business is picking
up,” I replied. “I’m going to do three weddings this
month.”

“
That’s great!”

“
Yes. Especially since
we’re just a startup company.”

“
You’re not exactly new to
the business. And you have it in you. I knew you could do this,” he
said to me, smiling.

I felt warm. I sincerely
felt that Ryder meant that. This is one guy who believes in
me.

I smiled back at him.
“Thank you, Ryder. You have… faith in me.”

He didn’t say anything. He
just smiled that crooked smile again.

Damn!
This guy is just too handsome for my ‘just friends’
scheme!

“
How… how about you? How
are you doing?”

“
Not bad,” he replied.
“Janis is asking for your number.”

My eyes went wide. “Oh my
God!” I breathed. “Did you give it to her?”

He shook his head. “I keep
on conveniently forgetting to text it to her. But I must warn you.
I may not be able to hold her off forever. She will get your number
and give you a call.”

“
What do I do?”

He chuckled. “Talk to her.
She’s not that bad.”

“
That’s not what I meant,
Ryder. She’ll ask about you. About us.”

“
Tell her that you have
not seen me in days. But we keep in touch by calling and texting
each other. I don’t talk to them every day for them to know exactly
where I am and what I’ve been doing. I think you’ll be
fine.”

I sat back on my seat.
“That’s easy enough. She knows you’re a busy man. You’d be too busy
to see me at least five times a week.”

He raised a brow at me.
“Wanna bet?” he asked in challenge.

My heart pounded inside my
chest. I bit my lip. He continued staring at me seriously and it
was getting more and more difficult to breathe. I turned away from
him. “Eyes on the road, mister,” I said instead.

He went quiet for a while
and then he said, “I’ll never be too busy to see my girl, you
know.”

I smiled. “You’re too busy
to find a girlfriend. You had to ask me at the last
minute.”

He shrugged. “What if I
wasn’t really looking?”

“
What if you were too busy
to realize she’d already passed you by?”

He shook his head. “Nope.
My girl will sparkle so bright it will be hard for me not to notice
her.”

I stared at him and
somehow he was staring at me deeply. Part of me was flattered. I
looked away from him, unable to bear the weight of his stare. I
looked out the window.

“
I thought you didn’t
believe in ‘ever afters’, Ryder Van Woodsen,” I said.

He heaved a sigh. “I don’t
know what to believe anymore,” he said. “I’ve been cynical about
dating and going on relationships because of… who I am. I was
afraid the girl I’d meet would only be interested in my money… my
financial status.”

Now there’s the reason why
Ryder and I could never be!
I couldn’t
stand him thinking I was only interested in his money. The thing
with Ryder was… I think I like everything about him!
Except
for his financial
status. So he and I… we could never be more than what we were now.
Friends pretending to be lovers when the occasion calls for it.
Friends who slept with each other at some point in their
lives.

“
How did you get to be
that cynical?”