Knight in Shining Suit (45 page)

“
Alright, I’ll just arm
your alarm when I leave,” I said. “Speaking of your alarm, did you
just change your password today?”

“
No,” he replied. “I’ve
had the same password for months. Remember? I told you this
before.”

“
Really, Ryder? My
name?”

He laughed. “I’ve been
crazy about you for months, love. I remembered changing the
password after we got back from Miami. I knew then that I was in
too deep and there is no way I could escape you.”

“
Ryder…”

“
Hmmm…”

“
Don’t break my heart,
okay?”

“
I won’t, sweetheart. I
love you.”

“
By the way, I’m going out
to meet Dannie,” I said.

“
Good. You know how to
drive there?” he asked.

“
I know how to walk
there.”

“
Very funny, Ash. Whatever
happened to letting me indulge you?”

“
That’s a flashy car,
Ryder,” I said.

“
It’s a safe car,” he
said.

“
Alright.” I sighed. “Are
you sure you won’t get mad if I bump it or something.”

“
No. But I will if
something happens to you.”

“
Okay. Go back to work,” I
said to him giggling. “And Ryder…”

“
Yes, love?”

“
Keep your promise, okay?
Be miserable without me,” I said.

“
I already am.” Then he
took a deep breath. “Astrid…”

“
Yes?”

“
Always remember that I
love you, okay? I’ll always be that guy who would do anything to
protect you, make you happy. I want you to know that even before I
met you, you were the woman I needed, the woman I had been looking
for.”

Tears rolled down my
cheeks. “I’ll remember that, Ryder. And I love you too. I didn’t
know you were what I needed until I met you. And thank you… for
finding me too.”

When we hung up, I had to
take a couple of minutes to compose myself. There was a heavy lump
on my chest and I couldn’t help but cry again. I didn’t know love
could be this strong. It was amazing because I never felt half of
these emotions when I was with Bryan and I was all set to marry
him. Even if he didn’t cheat on me, our marriage would have been a
mistake. And what I had with Ryder was… a beautiful combination of
all things that are right.

Dannie was already in
front of his apartment when I arrived in his neighborhood. He was
staring at the car in awe. When I let the window down on the
passenger side and called out to him, “Hop in!” his jaw literally
dropped. He didn’t move until I blew the horn.

When he was inside he was
looking at me in amazement.

“
You’re driving…” he said
and trailed off.

“
Ryder’s car,” I finished
for him.

“
But why?”

“
Because he wants me to,”
I replied. “And he can be very persistent.”

“
So what is this? Like a
company car? He owns your company doesn’t he?”

I shook my head. “Yeah, he
owns the company I am working for. But he didn’t let me use this
car because I am his employee.”

“
Okay. I’m
lost.”

I smiled at Dannie and
then I bit my lip. I knew I was blushing.

“
Oh my God!” Dannie
covered his mouth with his hands. “Sweetheart! For
real?”

I nodded.

I parked in front of
Starbucks. As soon as I was out of the car, Dannie hugged me. He
had tears in his eyes.

“
Are you happy?” he
asked.

“
Very! I cannot believe
just how much!” I said to him.

Nicole and John were
already sitting inside when we walked in.

“
Was that you who just
arrived in Ryder Van Woodsen’s McLaren?” John asked.

I nodded.

“
Why are you driving his
car? Is he here?” Nicole asked.

“
He’s in Manhattan,” I
said.

“
Don’t tell me you’re
car-sitting.”

I laughed. “That’s also
one way to put it. The other way is that Ryder doesn’t want me to
take a cab from this point forward.”

“
Why?”

“
He’s overprotective. Not
that I mind,” I said happily.

John chuckled. “Looks like
the fake relationship just became real.”

Nicole’s eyes widened.
“And you didn’t tell us?”

“
We just got together the
other night. And yesterday we couldn’t take our hands off each
other. I couldn’t call you. I felt like I was running out of time.
Ryder had to go back to Manhattan early this morning. He was
supposed to be back yesterday. He just extended his
stay.”

“
So unlike the other
trysts you have, this one is a full blown relationship now?” Nicole
asked.

I nodded. “I love him,
guys!”

“
We know!” John said. “I
think even Van Woodsen knew that a long time ago. Only you didn’t
want to admit it because you were afraid that he’s too… elite for
your taste!”

“
I know. But I’m not
afraid anymore. I want him. It doesn’t matter if he comes in a
shiny gift wrap when he’s delivered to me.”

“
You’re very lucky, Ash.
He really cares about you,” John said. “Remember that night we were
at Oil Rig and the three of you went to the dance floor? Van
Woodsen was watching you. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. I
noticed and I told him that I could tell he really likes you. He
looked frustrated, and said that ‘like’ was a huge understatement
because he’s crazy about you. I knew he meant it. He couldn’t
understand why you didn’t want to be with him. I told him that you
were like this ever since Kevin Moore.”

My eyes widened. “You told
him about Kevin?”

“
Relax, Ash! The guy had
to understand where you were coming from.”

“
I thought I couldn’t
handle his world. That I couldn’t exist in the same places as him.
But I don’t care anymore. Ryder is different from Kevin. Kevin was
an ass. Ryder is a beautiful soul. Nobody has made me this happy. I
may not belong in Ryder’s world, but I’m sure now, I belong to him.
I took a chance. I know he will shield me from the pain. No one in
his high profile world or family would judge me. And even if they
did, who cares? Only Ryder’s opinion matters to me.”

“
So he’s going to fly in
and out of Manhattan?”

I nodded. “Fridays,
Saturdays and Sundays, I have him here. Mondays to Thursdays, he’s
in New York.”

“
Well, if you love each
other that much, you should be able to figure it out,” Nicole said.
“You’re still in the business, aren’t you?”

I nodded. “Of course.
Ryder and I found our common ground now. He’s asking me to be a
partner, not an employee.”

They all beamed at me.
“We’re happy for you, Ash. You really deserve this after all you
have been through.”

“
I know. And I am so
happy,” I said, tears brimming in my eyes.

My phone beeped. I read
Ryder’s text message:
I love you. I’ll be
home sooner than you think! Wait for me ok?

I smiled dreamily. I knew
it was too much to ask. But if I really knew Ryder, I had a feeling
we would be making love tonight. He would find a way to come back
to me before the day was over.

And I couldn’t wait. I
thought about cooking a nice meal for us. He was not the only one
who was romantic and full of surprises.

When I looked up my
friends, they were smiling happily for me. I know they waited a
long time to see me as happy as I am now.

I stayed with my friends
for a while longer. Just then, my phone rang. It was
Janis.

I know I have some
explaining to do, but I was really hoping she’d forgive
me.

“
Hey Janis,” I greeted
chirpily.

There was silence. Then
Janis croaked, obviously trying her best not to cry.

“
What’s wrong, honey?” I
asked her nervously.

“
You have to come to
Manhattan,” she said.

“
Why? What happened?” My
heart hammered inside my chest.

“
Ryder had a car
accident.”

My phone slipped from my
hand and suddenly, I felt my world crashing down on me.

24.

VEIL:

Covers the bride’s face to
the groom until he has fully committed to her after the wedding
ceremony.

I
am made of stone. I can do this. I am not giving up!
I told myself over and over.

I was sitting on the deck
of Ryder’s Malibu home. After so many nights I still felt alone, my
heart was still broken and every single minute, I ached for the man
who swore he would make my ‘ever after’ come true.

But he was not here
anymore… I never felt so alone in my life. The pain was ten times
worse than what I felt when Bryan and Geena betrayed me.

I remembered his laughter,
his smile. I remembered his arms around me and the way he would
look at me. I remembered how he never gave up on me. How he waited
for me to realize that he was the right one for me. How long he
waited for me to realize that I was in love with him after
all.

He told me he would never
hurt me. He told me that he would never make me cry or
miserable.

But why do I feel like
shit now? Damn, I must also look like shit. I haven’t had a proper
night’s sleep in four months. I haven’t been eating well. My
employees are taking a lot of the pressure from my business because
they understood that I was not myself.

I try not to let any of it
affect me. But the pain of losing Ryder was a hundred times worse
than being cheated on by Bryan and Geena. At least I had the right
to be angry with them. But not this time. I had no right to be
angry with Ryder at all no matter how badly I was
hurting.

Everybody was worrying
about me. Everybody was making a fuss. Everybody was trying to do
everything they could to cheer me up, to make me strong.

Jake and Janis visit me
frequently. My friends plan parties and night outs just to cheer me
up. Even Ryder’s sister and mother tried their best to reach out to
me. It was unfortunate that we met each other for the first time at
the hospital the same day Ryder had a car crash.

They were all making sure
I didn’t lose it. Trying to make sure that I would not do anything
stupid. Like jump off a cliff and kill myself.

But I knew I would never
do that. Because I told Ryder that I would always remember that he
loved me. That I would never forget that. I would never give up. I
would wait.

Being in Ryder’s home has
been my refuge. Because here, I still felt that he was with me. I
could still hope that the phone would ring any minute and I would
hear his voice on the other line asking me to be miserable without
him.

He got that one right. I
was miserable. I had been miserable for four freaking
months!

Because I knew that phone
would not ring for me. My cellphone will not beep with a text
message from him. The Ryder Van Woodsen who loved me for the past
few months was gone.

As fast as he told me that
he would love me forever and after that, he was gone. Ryder… my
savior, my knight in shining armor, my rock… the man who went to
hell and back for me.

And with that thought I
looked up at the sky and shouted, “Why?!” And tears kept
coming.

***

Whenever I dreamed, I
dreamed of the darkest hour of my life. I wanted nothing more than
to wake up from it all. Except… it wasn’t really a dream or a
nightmare. They were memories… memories that ended my time with
Ryder so abruptly even before I fully embedded myself in his
life.

I remembered after I
received a call from Janis, I rushed to the airport and immediately
rushed to the hospital. My hands were shaking. My heart was pumping
loudly inside my ribcage. Tears continued to stream down my face,
but I couldn’t even whimper. I was too scared to even make a
sound.

Please God! Save him! Let
him live! And I won’t ask you anything ever again! Let him survive
this!

I never thought Ryder
could get hurt. He was my knight, my rock. He was supposed to be
the strong one. He was always the one saving me, catching me from
the fall. But now, I would trade everything I had just to have him
live.

Suddenly, long smooth
fingers enveloped my hands. I stared over at the dazzling green
eyes staring back at me.

She looked brazenly
beautiful. An aristocratic face that is so much similar to
Ryder’s.

Paris gave me an
encouraging smile.

“
My brother will come back
for you,” she said. “I know it. He will live… even if only to see
you smile again.”

Those words were meant to
encourage me, but instead it made me cry even more. Because I knew
that she was right. If the choice were up to him, Ryder would
definitely come back for me.