Letting You Know (21 page)

“
You
don't know?”

“
Uh,
no,” I said, furrowing my brow. “I don't, in fact, know
if my girlfriend has shot a gun
or
if
she
would
enjoy it. I'm just guessing here.”

“
Maybe
you should ask her, instead of assuming,” he remarked with
false casualty.

I
frowned, biting my tongue.

I
hope giving him that gift fixes things between us. This snarky side
of him is getting out of hand.

In
the kitchen, I found my grandmother sitting at the table with a
buttered roll and a cup of steaming java. She was wrapped in a giant
pink robe, her fluff of hair a perfectly curled mass of ivory.
“Morning,” she nodded, “help yourself, boys.”

Nicholas
was quick to fill a mug, nabbing two rolls from the basket. I took
one as well, sitting down with a cup of OJ from the fridge.

We'd
hardly begun nibbling when Bethany, Leah and my mother all wandered
in. I couldn't help but wonder what it must have been like for my
girlfriend and my ex to share a bedroom all night long.

It
would be the first time they were alone together. I wonder what they
talked about... if they talked at all.

I
don't know which would be worse, gossip or awkward silence.

“
Morning,
sleepy,” I said with a grin, noticing Leah's frizzy bed-head.
She looked dead on her feet, but she gave me a dopey smile.

“
Morning,
yes, that's the time.” Her eyes found the coffee and she made a
bee-line for it. I had to resist chuckling.

We
all gathered at the table, munching on food, convinced it was far too
early. Our hanging heads, combined with half-shut eyes, said more
than words could.

“
So!”
My granddad shouted, clapping his hands as he clomped loudly into the
kitchen. My father wasn't far behind. “Who wants to see the
farm and shoot some guns?”

“
Guns?”
Leah asked, eyes wide and shiny.

“
Are
you scared of guns?” I asked curiously.

She
shrugged, nibbling what was left of her third roll. “I don't
know, I've never seen one in person, much less shot one.”

Grandaddy
laughed, eyes glinting from Leah to Bethany. “You've done it
before, haven't ya?”

“
Yeah,”
the blonde said, nodding slightly. “I'm a pretty good shot,
actually.”

“
Fantastic!”
He crowed, gripping his pockets and seeming as pleased as could be.
“Then let's get dressed and give it a go! It's cold out, so
bundle up.”

I
laughed softly, looking at the hot cup of coffee Leah was draining;
she chugged it like it might keep her warm.

The
idea was tempting.

Now
I almost wish I did like that stuff.

****

The
truck we all piled into rumbled along the fields and dirt behind my
grandfather's house. The area was all owned by him, stretching far in
its current brownish state. I knew in summer the area would be
bustling with life, but for now, it was just rocky and cold.

I'd
been crushed into the backseat with Nicholas beside me, Bethany
opposite him by the door. It was uncomfortable, for many reasons.

Leah
had been gifted the front seat, her face pressed to the window as we
drove. She was asking many questions, delighting my grandfather as
she asked about the farms, the land, the cows, and what the grain
silos even were.

It
hadn't occurred to me she wouldn't know.

He
pointed out the large, renovated barn behind the house where they
kept the corn and soy beans for planting. He also drove us around the
duck pond, past the tire swing, and across a wobbly bridge before we
set off further.

This
is nice, though. This is what I was hoping for... she's getting to
know him. And, he's getting to know her. He seems to like her too.

Though,
Grandaddy likes everyone.

We
parked on a hill, stumbling from the warm vehicle and out into the
biting cold with clear regret.

I
stuck my gloved hands into my pockets, deep as I could go. “Brr,”
I said flatly, glancing at Leah. She moved beside me, leaning into me
as if to steal my body warmth.

“
It's
pretty awful out here,” Bethany said.

“
I'll
say,” I agreed, watching Grandad collect everything from the
trunk. “Let me help.”

He
handed me a shotgun, so I hooked it over my shoulder carefully. In
the end, with Nicholas helping, we carried our load of guns down the
embankment to the flat field below.

A
device had been set up, a strange catapult like thing stuck into the
ground.

“
What's
that?” Leah leaned down, eyeing it curiously.

“
That's
for shooting clay pigeons,” Nicholas explained, standing close
to her.

I
wanted to mend things with my brother, but it was difficult to
swallow the distrust and acrid irritation he always caused to boil
inside of me.

Leah
nodded, pushing her hair behind her ears. Seeing how red they were
already, I pulled my wool cap off my head. “Here, take this.”
Before she could argue, I tugged it down over her skull. “You
don't want your ears to fall off.”

“
True.”
Her smile was sweet, her nose pink in the winter air.

Nicholas
watched us, silent as a stone. Bethany, perhaps summoned by his
disquiet, stepped close and touched his shoulder. “Want to help
me get my gun set up?”

“
I
thought you said you were good at this?” He asked, turning to
her with a teasing smile. In the face of her contact, my brother
seemed to soften; butter in a warm kitchen.

“
Well,”
she shrugged, “doesn't mean I don't want
you
to help me, still.”

He
chuckled, leading her to the guns with his hand on the small of her
back.

“
You
have to admit,” Leah said quietly, looking up at me as she
whispered. Her scarf almost hid her sideways smile. “They're
kind of cute together.”

I
prepared myself for a flinch, for a stab in my guts, but no such
thing came. Blinking, I stared at the pair, watching them laugh over
some unheard joke. “Yeah, I guess they kind of are.”

He
loves her, he told me so.

I
wondered if Bethany and I had ever looked quite like that, if we had
been so comfortable with each other.

Leah
circled my arm with her own, tugging me towards the weapons. “Come
on, I want to try this out.”

Her
childish joy made my heart throb. Seeing her smiling, pulling me
along as steam puffed from her mouth, my line of thought shifted.

I
wonder if Leah and I look like they do.

My
grandfather handed out guns to us one by one, instructing us how to
hold them, how to aim.

“
Now,”
he said, “I'll send these clay pigeons flying, and you guys try
and shoot them. Careful, it'll be loud, and those guns can have a
kick.”

Standing
beside Leah, I helped her arrange her body. My hands slid down her
arms, tilting her shoulders, pressing firmly into her sides. “Okay,
lift your arms up her, brace yourself for this.” I whispered
into her ear, my breath tickling her skin.

I
noticed her inhale slightly, tongue sliding over her bottom lip. The
fact Leah and I had had no time alone for several days suddenly hit
me.

She
feels so good in my hands, dammit.

Calming
myself, I brushed a strand of hair off of her neck; she flinched,
looking at me sideways.

“
Eyes
ahead,” I said firmly, grinning.

“
I'm
trying to focus, you know.”

“
Oh,
I know,” I chuckled.

I
stepped back, giving her room. The machine 'twanged', sending the
orange disk flying high into the air. “Go!” I shouted.

Leah
squeezed the trigger, the crack of the gun deafening. The disk
exploded, falling to the earth in pieces. Her body jerked so
violently that she was sent backwards. “Oof!” Wind
blasted from her lungs when she sat down hard on the ground.

“
Are
you okay?” I asked, hurrying back over to her. Gripping her
free hand, I pulled her to her feet. Leah's eyes were alive, bright
as chocolate candy.

“
That
was amazing!” She cried out, and it took everything I had not
to kiss her on those ruby lips.

Laughing,
I hugged her instead, rubbing our cold cheeks together. “You
hit it, good job!”

“
I
hit it!” She repeated, giggling.

The
loud clap of the machine reverberated, another pigeon shooting out.
This time, when a gun cracked in the air, it wasn't Leah's.

We
watched as the disk shattered again, Bethany's aim perfect from where
she stood with the weapon lifted. Nicholas cheered, they both
embraced with overt joy.

I
saw him kiss her cheek, before he glimpsed my smile. Then he paused,
watching me over her shoulder as she hugged him hard.

“
Good
job!” Leah shouted.

The
pair broke apart, Bethany smoothing her hair as she basked in the
compliment. “Thanks, you did great, too.”

“
I
guess I get extra points for toppling like a tree,” Leah said,
blushing in good humor.

The
blonde laughed, covering her mouth politely. It was as if she had
started
seeing
Leah, the situation so unlike the first few meetings.

Before,
my ex had been stiff; perhaps a bit cynical, if I let myself think
about it.

Sad,
Bethany was... sort of sad, that first day.

It
was an odd realization, one I wanted to mull over deeper. Why would
Bethany feel anything
but
distaste for me?