Letting You Know (45 page)

“Right,” his brother grinned. “Between classes, lab
work, and visiting Kentucky to see a certain someone,” he
glanced at Bethany, “where would I ever have the time?”

That
admission about the visits, it jolted a conversation I'd had with
both Bethany, and Deacon, into place.
I
thought she left Deacon because she couldn't handle the distance...

As
they chuckled, I turned towards the blonde girl. She seemed startled
by my stare, shooting her gaze one way, then the next.

“
What's
wrong?” I asked, blinking.

Tugging
at her jacket sleeve, she put on a weary smile. “It's dumb.
But, I noticed... in the CD player, while I was driving...”

“
Oh,
that,” I mumbled.

“
It's...
it's not mine, that CD,” she said defensively. The pleading
look in her eyes threw me off.

Crinkling
my nose, I tilted my head. “What?”

“
It
belongs to Nicholas,” she rambled, rubbing her forehead.
“Sorry. I was worried you'd seen it, and after our talk, it
just looked really disingenuous of me.”

Smiling,
I felt my laugh bubble up. I didn't stop it fast enough, Bethany shot
me an unsure squint. “Sorry. It's just...”
It's
just that I didn't care anymore, what the music meant to her. Now,
hearing she didn't even own that CD...
“Forget
about it.” Lifting my hand, I extended it to her.

Bethany
narrowed her eyes at it, like it was a snake. I thought I might have
offended her, until she reached out, giving me a quick embrace.

Stepping
back, she looked around, noticing the boys staring at us. Her nervous
expression shifted to one of serious distaste. “Everyone stop
standing around! Leah, Deacon, you need to go. Now.”

“
She's
right,” Deacon agreed, heading towards the doors. I moved to
follow, but Nicholas caught me up in his one good arm.

Everyone
is conspiring to keep us here,
I thought in amusement. “Nicholas, I need to...”

“
I
know. Shh. Let me get my farewell, too.” His hug was awkward,
yet still solid.

We
pulled apart, his green eyes sparkling the way a certain someone I
loved did.

He
reminded me too much of Deacon at times.

“
Leah,
it was really great to meet you. And I... did you guys get to talk
about...”

Pushing
away, I gave him a sideways smile. “I don't know what you're
even referring to. Bye, Nicholas.”

His
mouth made a tiny open shape, before shifting back to that knowing
smirk he wore so well.

Together,
he and Bethany waved at us, not stopping until Deacon and I had
vanished deep into the airport terminal.

****

We
ran through the airport, our tickets clenched in our fists the entire
time. With our bags checked-in, we moved easier, and speed was what
we needed.

Dodging
the milling people who were clearly not in the same rush as we were,
Deacon and I slid across the tile floor. Above us, the metallic voice
repeated over and over the same words, “final boarding call for
flight 1536 to Los Angeles.”

The
gate rose up, the woman standing by the boarding door speaking into
her walkie.

They're
not going to let us on, they—

“
Wait!”
Deacon shouted, making the woman shoot her head up in surprise.
“Don't let them leave!”

Panting,
we stumbled up to her, handing off crumpled, sweaty papers that
hardly looked like tickets any more. Her smile was stuffed with humor
as she took them, waving us on politely. “Welcome aboard, enjoy
the flight.”

Smoothing
my hair down, glad I had tied it back so it hadn't blinded me when we
were running, I looked up at Deacon. His face was almost split with a
relieved smile.

Laughing,
the final hump of our journey removed, I took his hand in mine.
Waltzing down the hall to the open door of the plane, we entered,
ignoring the frowning faces of the people already sitting.

The
moment we fell into our chairs, I leaned over, planting a firm kiss
on my boyfriend's cheek. That wasn't enough for him; his hands
circled the back of my head, holding me still so he could get a
longer taste of my mouth.

By
the time he let me go, I was searing red from nape to toe. “We
made it,” I said stupidly, dazed.

“
We
did,” he agreed, sinking down with a small yawn. “Amazingly,
we actually did it.”

Clipping
my belt into place, noting the sour eye of one of the stewards, I
sighed. Knots in my shoulders erased themselves; it felt wonderful to
put our journey in the hands of someone else, for once.

Closing
my eyes, I drowned out the words of the stewardess at the end of the
plane. She was explaining the warnings, escape procedures... things
I, and many, already knew by heart.

Everything
that happened this trip... it changed so much between Deacon and I.
Who could have predicted any of this?

That
we'd run into his ex-girlfriend, find out she was dating his younger
brother... To be able to go see my parents, and, my god, get to see
how things are different for them.

It's
a shame they all live so far away.

Thinking
about that fact, the distance between us all, brought something that
had been chewing at my brain to the forefront.

It
wasn't until after we'd rolled down the path, engines blazing as we
shot into the air, that I whispered what was on my mind to Deacon.

“
Hey,”
I said, squeezing his hand where it rested between us. “There's
something bugging me.”

“
Hmn?”
He murmured, looking my way through sleepy, half-shut eyes.

Licking
my lips, I struggled to phrase my concern carefully. “So, uh.
You told me Bethany broke up with you because of the whole long
distance thing, right?”

His
mouth tightened; not out of anger, yet I couldn't identify what it
meant. “Yeah, that's right. Why do you ask?”

Tracing
my fingers over the inside of his palm, I leaned in close, like I had
a huge secret. “Okay, so it's probably weird for me to even be
asking this, but... If distance was such a huge thing, why is she
bothering with Nicholas?”

“
I—what?”

“
He's
going to school in Virginia, that's still like, an eight hour drive
at least each way from where he is to her, right?”

Deacon
blinked, studying me, then the window beside him thoughtfully. I
regretted asking him the longer the silence went on.

Flooding
with guilt, my hand tried to leave his. He grabbed on tighter,
looking into my eyes with a soft smile. “You know, I couldn't
really say why she's willing to put up with that. But my guess is
that they both clearly see something there worth fighting for.”
Pressing forward, he leaned his forehead on mine. I could see nothing
but the corner of his mouth, twisting up in tender joy. “Maybe
you just need to realize what you, yourself, would go through for the
person you love to really understand why it's worth the trouble.”

Swelling
so much my chest felt it couldn't hold all my air, I lifted my arms,
snuggling against his shoulder.

“
I
think I get it,” I whispered.

Together,
we stayed like that the rest of the flight. When the attendants came
by with drinks and snacks, we'd already fallen asleep.

Carlo
gave us both the biggest hugs he was capable of when he met us at the
airport. He went so far as to lift me off the ground, spinning us in
a circle as I made plaintive cries for him to stop.

“
I'm
so happy to see you guys,” he claimed, grabbing our bags and
dragging them out towards his car. “It wasn't the same without
you. That apartment gets lonely.”

“
You
were lonely?” Deacon asked, incredulous. “Come on, you're
an adult now, you should be capable of entertaining yourself.”

“
Listen
to him,” Carlo scoffed, shooting me a private smile. “He
acts so tough, as if he wouldn't have been crying after not seeing
me
for a week!”

“
I
didn't
see you for a week!” Deacon laughed, jumping into the passenger
seat.

His
roommate waved a hand, hopping behind the wheel with a pout. “And,
like a gracious friend, I didn't point out that you were holding back
tears this whole time.”

Deacon
rolled his eyes, the two of them delighting me with their antics.

It
felt good to be home.

It
especially felt nice to feel the warmer weather. Even in December,
California felt cool and inviting.

Leaning
back into my seat, I watched the landscape of palm trees roll by. The
lack of snow made it hard to believe it was even winter time. The
state seemed to be in a whole other world.

“
Did
you guys have a good time?” Carlo asked, speeding up on the
highway.

“
I'd
say so,” Deacon answered, peeking at me in the side-view
mirror. My only response was a slight smile.

Yeah,
we had a great trip, in the end. It started out rocky, but what came
out of it... I wouldn't have, couldn't have, asked for more.

“
Well
then,” Carlo went on, rambling contently, “let me tell
you all about what
I
did for the last week!” He managed to fill the rest of the
drive, his voice becoming white noise in the most fantastic of ways.

Looking
up, I saw we were finally on some familiar streets. “Can we
stop at Vanessa's, first?” I asked. “I'd like to see her,
get some clean clothes, that sort of stuff.”

“
Sure,”
Carlo nodded, turning a corner, “I can drop you guys off. Just
take your car back to our place with Deacon, Leah. I'll bring your
luggage in.”

“
Thanks,”
I said, “that's really nice of you!”

“
I'm
always nice,” Carlo replied with a knowing smirk.

He
pulled his car up along the sidewalk, letting Deacon and I clamber
out. “See you soon,” my boyfriend said, waving after his
roommate while he drove off. Smiling, he turned to me, taking my
hands gently. “How does it feel to be back?”