Lost (24 page)

"That
isn't an answer. It's an either-or question, not a yes-or-no
question."

I held a hand
up, stopping her before she could press Set further. He'd already
gone completely still in the way that he did when he didn't know how
to respond to something.

"It's not
that simple, Celeste. There are concepts that don't translate well
from Set's native tongue to English. He's trying to answer us, but I
suspect that we aren't asking him the right questions."

For a moment
Celeste just sat there looking at me. I could smell the shock coming
off of her. I wasn't sure how to proceed. I didn't want to make
things worse by further contradicting her in front of Set, but the
situation seemed to call for some kind of additional response.

Before I could
decide which was the safer path Celeste stomped past Set and
disappeared into her room. She hadn't just been embarrassed, she'd
been shaking the way shape shifters only did when they were mere
heartbeats from being forced into a change by their beast.

I waited for
the rush of power that would have told me that she'd lost the battle
for control of her own body, but it never came. Relieved that I
wouldn't have to throw my battered body between Celeste's hybrid form
and Set, I turned back to him and apologized.

"I'm very
sorry, Set."

He held up a
hand. "No apology is necessary between the two of us, Isaac
Nazir. Honor does not require such from someone given the lot to have
a difficult queen. It speaks to your honor that you choose to remain
at her side and fight as her champion."

I nodded as I
powered my phone down and reached over to do the same with my tablet.
Set frowned at my actions.

"If you
fail to use the phone then the others will say that I have failed to
uphold honor, Isaac Nazir. I would not have that. Please use the
phone as freely as you would have if I hadn't told you of the
Consumed. It is our problem, our concern, not yours."

I nodded, not
necessarily because I agreed with his view that the possible arrival
of the Consumed wasn't any of my concern, but because I needed to buy
myself some time to think.

"I did not
state earlier the number of times that I wanted to use my phone, Set.
What if I only wanted to make one or two calls?"

"Honor is
not something to be trifled with, Isaac Nazir. We would be poor hosts
to give you back the ability to communicate with your home enclave
and then limit its usage."

"I
understand that, but what if I choose to voluntarily limit my use of
the phone? What if I asked for something else in exchange for keeping
my phone off most of the time?"

"It seems
a poor bargain for you to make. I was able to see how much you
desired to talk to them. For you to choose not to talk to them would
only be a sign that I have incurred dishonor."

"Unless I
have thought of something else, something that I want more than I
desire to talk to my friends back home. Then it might be possible for
us to modify the terms of our agreement, right?"

Set looked
doubtful. I didn't blame him. I was playing with something very
important to him. The lamias seemed willing to die rather than risk
dishonor, but Set wasn't just some grunt, he was one of the consorts,
possibly even the highest-ranking consort. He had to worry about more
than just his personal honor, he had to worry about the survival of
the enclave.

I needed
something important to me, something he could be convinced would be
doing me a favor at the same time that he got what he secretly
wanted, which was to protect his people. It was a tall order. The
need to hear a friendly voice, to talk to someone who missed me, who
was glad to hear from me was still overpowering.

The temptation
to just admit defeat was strong, but then I realized that I was
looking at things wrong. Set couldn't force Celeste to be my friend,
but that was still a worthy goal. A friend here in the enclave would
be just as valuable as being able to talk to Andrew or any of the
rest of the pack. You could even make the case that it would improve
my life beyond being able to talk to my friends just because Celeste
and I wouldn't be constantly one step away from ripping each other's
heads off.

I laboriously
levered myself up off of the couch and motioned Set to follow me
outside where there wouldn't be any chance of Celeste overhearing us.
He steadied me with a hand on my arm and a few minutes later he'd
guided me over to a rock in one of the meadows that bordered the
stream.

"You spoke
truly earlier, Set. My queen is very difficult at times. Being away
from her enclave wears at her in ways I didn't anticipate and she
then takes out her displeasure on me. The speed of our…journey
here did not allow for her to bring all of the possessions that she
would have liked to have brought for such an extended stay."

"I do not
understand. Has our hospitality been lacking?"

I hadn't
anticipated that interpretation of what I was saying. I needed to
head him off before he decided that he'd failed in yet another way.

"No, your
hospitality has been beyond reproach. Truly we have everything we
need, but sometimes it is our nature to want things that we don't
need. I don't know if it is the same way for your people, but surely
that cannot be construed as a lack of hospitality. I do not think
honor would demand that a host meet every unbridled want of their
guests."

Set's nod was a
hesitant, begrudging kind of motion, but he nodded. "It is true,
that is why honor circumscribes the requirements of a hosting
enclave. It stops the visiting queen from becoming an undue burden on
the enclave. What are you trying to say, Isaac Nazir? What is it that
you lack?"

"Clothes,
Set. My queen has only one change of clothes and I think it puts her
in an ill mood. If you could provide us with some additional clothes
then I think it would make my service to her easier and eliminate the
need for me to call back to my pack, my enclave."

I put every bit
of belief I could into that statement. I didn't have any idea how Set
had known how much I'd wanted to talk to my friends, to Jess, but the
best way to convince him of what I was saying now was to really feel
it. I couldn't fully convince myself that some new jeans and a shirt
or two would make all of the difference between Celeste and me, but I
came close.

Once I finished
talking, Set went still again. I could tell that he was considering
my words, but I'd obviously made him uneasy. After several minutes he
sighed and turned back towards me.

"I never
thought I would find myself bargaining over the requirements of honor
like a common
zsst
, Isaac Nazir. Still, I cannot deny that I
am worried about the circumstances that we now find ourselves in. I
will accept part of your bargain. If you will leave your phone off
other than when you are using it, then I will alert you when someone
from your enclave is trying to communicate with you."

"How will
you know when I've got an incoming call, Set?"

He shrugged.
"It is the way of things. I will know."

The things he
was implying were on the edge of blowing my mind. I kept telling
myself that it wasn't that much more incredible than Kristin's
dreams, but he seemed to be saying that he controlled his knowledge
rather than just having it come at unpredictable times.

Even if he was
wrong, presumably if someone called and my phone was off it would
still go to voicemail. If I'd known that it was the ongoing carrier
signal that was the most concerning to him then we probably could
have avoided a lot of worry on both sides.

"I accept,
Set. That seems a good bargain to me."

He shook his
head. "Not so easily will you trick me, Isaac Nazir. I will do
these things and amend your boon, but I will only do so if we are
allowed to provide your party with clothes. I will be said to be a
poor bargainer, the other consorts will say that I gave away too much
to you, but I will accept that rather than risk the enclave. They
will say it is a different kind of dishonor, but it is better this
way. Sometimes the right course is the most difficult one."

Isaac Nazir
The Lamia Enclave

After Set had
departed I sat there on the rock for half an hour before I finally
turned my phone back on and started making my calls. I tried Alec's
phone first. I didn't really
want
to talk to him, but I felt
like I
needed
to talk to him.

It was hard to
explain—I didn't really understand it all myself—but I
was starting to see his actions in a different light. We'd been…well,
not exactly friends, but on the same team for a long time. I didn't
want to die here in some challenge match without at least telling him
that I didn't hate his guts.

Some alphas
wouldn't have cared if I hated them as long as I did what I was told
to do, but that was part of what made Alec special. He'd still do
whatever he felt he had to do, even if it meant that everyone was
going to hate him, but he'd feel bad about it. It would eat at him
and make it harder for him to continue to make the hard decisions.

I didn't want
that. Not for Alec's sake and not for the sake of everyone who was
depending on him to pull us through the war he'd started with the
Coun'hij.

I dialed Alec's
number and listened to the phone ring, counting the attempts until it
went through to voicemail. After the beep I cleared my throat and
left the most difficult message I'd ever left.

"Alec,
it's me, Isaac. I'm not surprised that you let it go through to
voicemail. I've been kind of a jerk lately and I just wanted to call
and tell you that I was sorry. I…well, I've had a lot of time
on my hands to just sit and think lately and I'm starting to think
that I should have given you the benefit of the doubt over the last
little while instead of just making things harder for you."

Before I'd
started talking I'd hoped that he'd let the call go through to
voicemail because it had seemed like it would be easier to apologize
that way, but now I wasn't so sure. Saying some of these things was a
lot harder than I'd realized it was going to be and it would have
been nice to be able to have some kind of feedback from him as I went
along.

"I guess
I'm starting to realize things about myself that have shed a new
light on the last few months and I could use someone to talk to. I
know you're busy, what with trying to keep the rebellion from being
crushed and all, but you've already had to think through some of this
stuff and while I haven't always agreed with everything you've done I
can see now that there might have been aspects to the situations that
I couldn't see at the time."

I cleared my
throat again and took a deep breath. "I'm worried about making
mistakes. It's like there is this pressure building around me and I'm
worried about where I'm headed. I'm not sure if some of the things
I'm doing are justified by the end I'm pursuing. That's all. If you
can find a few minutes to talk, then I'd appreciate it, but even if
you can't I still want you to know that I'm sorry.

"The
apology wasn't just because I wanted something out of you. I mean it
independent of all of that other stuff. Good luck and be careful."

I hung the
phone up and almost turned it off, but if I did that I might not ever
turn it back on. It was a temptation, but that wouldn't be fair. I
had two more calls that I needed to make still, one for someone else
and one for me.

I dialed the
second number on my list and a wave of relief washed over me as
Andrew answered the phone.

"Isaac, is
that you? Are you okay?"

"Hi,
Andrew. Yeah, it's me. I'm fine, how are you?"

"Better
now that I know you're still alive. I've tried calling you half a
dozen times, but it just keeps going through to voicemail."

"Yeah, I'm
sorry. Ash and Alec agreed that we were going to keep our phones off
for a little while for operational security reasons. I'll be
available a little more now, at least for a while."

"Are Ash
and Kristin okay?"

"I'm not
sure."

"Have the
three of you become separated?" The worry edging back into
Andrew's voice was unmistakable. It was the worry of a parent who
knew that they couldn't shield one of their children from what life
was throwing at them. There was a special kind of agony there that
I'd never had to experience, but I knew it was very real.

I'd seen Andrew
deal with being confined to a wheelchair for as long as I could
remember. He'd been in a constant state of low-level pain, but that
hadn't ever seemed to bother him as much as when Jess or I had been
struggling for some reason or another.

Andrew wasn't
my biological father, but he was my parent in every way that
mattered.

"No, we
haven't been separated. They're still here with me, but they're hurt.
We tangled with the Coun'hij a couple of times and Kristin got hurt.
Then Ash got hurt at the hospital when we were trying to get Kristin
patched up. I think they'll both be okay, but they've been asleep for
a long time—I guess it's some kind of coma."

I was actually
less sure than I was letting on to Andrew, but I didn't want him to
worry.

"It's not
safe to be wandering around by yourself, Isaac. I'll give Alec a call
and ask him to send someone down to watch your back."

"No,
there's no need, Andrew. We're holed up somewhere safe and we seem to
have fallen off of the Coun'hij's radar. If Alec sends someone down
they'll be in danger the entire trip down here, and even if they make
it to us, they might just end up leading the bad guys to us. I'll be
fine. Besides, I actually do have someone to watch my back. I'd
rather have you down here with me, but she's not so bad."