Lost Without You (16 page)

“Was that you I heard making all that noise behind me in the woods? I almost broke my ankle trying to keep ahead of you.” Zoe couldn't keep the edge from her voice. It wasn't as if she was mad at Chip for finding her out here, but she sort of wished she wasn't naked at the moment. She sort of wished he wasn't either.

But damn. Chip was even better looking than she'd imagined with his clothes off.

Not that she'd been imagining him naked or anything.
Yeah, sure, right.

“I was following you, but only because I was concerned about where you'd be going in the woods so late at night. I wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“And now that you know I'm safe, you decided to get naked and share my waterfall?” she challenged.

“You noticed.”

“Hard not to,” she grumbled.

He smirked. “You're more observant than I thought.”

Oh shit. Now what the hell could she say to talk her way out of this one? She hadn't meant hard as in
hard
, although his arousal had been obvious. Damn. He wasn't just good looking and muscular. He was … well-built, too.

“That's … that's not what I meant.” Her voice came out weaker than she'd have liked it to, but she couldn't keep the embarrassment out of it. She couldn't show weakness around Chip. She couldn't. She had to flip this around so that he knew she was still in control. “Although now that you bring up your … nether regions, I did notice an unusual amount of grooming. I knew you were conscious of your looks, but I didn't realize you took it to such lengths.”

He grinned and arched an eyebrow at her. “Noticing my length too. How interesting. I never realized you paid so much attention to your surroundings.”

Zoe's cheeks burned despite the freezing water. Why couldn't she stop putting her foot in her mouth with him? “I just meant it seemed like an awful lot of manscaping.”

“I don't get any complaints. You might be surprised how much you like a clean-shaven man.”

“Oh, and why is that exactly?” she asked impulsively.

Shut up! Why are you still talking about his penis?

“Because the tree is even more impressive when the bushes are trimmed.”

She gasped at his comment.

Chip dunked under the water.

Zoe rolled her eyes skyward, cursing under her breath. What the hell was she thinking asking him about that stuff? And why did the thought of finding out how impressive his “tree” was for herself make her feel so hot and bothered? Wasn't she trying to avoid contact with him? This situation and conversation seemed the exact opposite approach to helping her keep that goal.

He resurfaced and shook his head like a dog after a bath. She squealed as the cold water sprayed her. Squeezing a dollop of shampoo into his palm, he handed her the bottle, then lathered his hair.

She never once attempted to look away. The view was too good from where she stood.

Water trickled down his sculpted, smooth chest and off his biceps. She wondered if his skin was as smooth and silky as it appeared. Was he as smooth as he appeared elsewhere too? The question made her head fuzzy and pulse quicken.

He dunked beneath the water once again and came up with his hair rinsed clean. When his gaze met hers, he smiled.

“Your turn,” he said, taking another dollop of shampoo from the bottle and handing it back to her. He moved behind her and his hands were in her hair, scrubbing and massaging while she stood there like a deer in headlights, unsure of what do to, or where to run to.

Her pulse raced through her veins at his touch. She'd never had someone wash her hair before. Hell, she'd never had a man wash anything on her body before. She'd never let anyone this close to her when she was naked and makeup-free who wasn't too drunk to remember what she looked like in the morning.

Chip's hands worked her scalp then trailed down her hair to the ends, scrubbing as he went. His fingers brushed against the back of her neck, right near her hairline, and she shivered, wondering if he felt the ripple of scar tissue marring her skin.

His soapy fingers rubbed the back of her neck then moved outward, stroking her shoulders in circles, easing out the tension she held in them like armor. Her head fell to the side when he hit a particularly sensitive spot and she groaned as the pain released with his touch.

Chip's breath was startlingly warm on her chilly earlobe, sending a shiver down her back. “You are so incredibly beautiful, Zoe, I wish I could see you in full light to take you all in.”

She stiffened uncontrollably. That would be her worst nightmare. To have a man as gorgeous and perfectly sculpted as Chip see her in full light with all her imperfections exposed.

His lips brushed against her ear and she softened slightly, unable to hide the reaction his touch caused in her.

“Even in the near-dark of the moonlight, I can hardly resist you,” he whispered. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

“No,” she whispered back, not trusting the strength in her voice.

“Then let me show you.” He spun her around so she faced him. His eyes were intense, penetrating into hers. “Rinse.”

She obeyed, dunking her whole head under water until it felt clean. She popped back up, taking a deep breath of air, but the cold water and the fresh breath did nothing to clear the fog in her brain at seeing Chip still standing there, admitting his desire for her. She desired him too. More than she had desired for any other man she'd been with. But could she really give herself to Chip here, this way, when she was so figuratively and literally naked?

He pulled her against his body and cradled her face in both hands. “You drive me crazy in every single sense of the word and I can't take it anymore.”

He pressed his lips to hers urgently, his need for her breaking through his usually calm and controlled demeanor. She opened her mouth against his with a lustful sigh, accepting his tongue and exploring with her own.

Her head swirled with his kisses. Fighting to hold onto reality, she pressed her hands against his bare chest, needing to feel something tangible. All those nights she'd woken from dreams of Chip, covered in sweat and shaking with a need she thought she'd never fulfill, came rushing back to her. She clung to him. Clung to the moment she might only ever get to live through once, because at least out here, right now, her scars were hidden by the darkness.

All the feelings she'd been trying to ignore crashed to the surface and she gave herself over to his kiss. She gave herself willingly to him.

His mouth left hers, trailing kisses along her jaw to her ear then down her neck. For the first time ever, she didn't stiffen at someone's touch. He couldn't see her scars even though all her makeup would have washed off by now. And he probably couldn't really feel them either with the other overwhelming sensations surrounding them.

Finally for once, she was free to give into the moment with Chip without reservation that he'd figure out her secret and bolt from her horrified at what he'd see. Because he couldn't really see her in the dark, he just thought he could. And the feeling of his lips on her skin was simply too good to stop him.

She didn't want him to stop. She needed this moment.

No. She just needed him.

“Zoe, I want you. I need you. Be with me tonight.” It was a request she wasn't going to deny.

“Yes,” she said simply, running her hands down his chest and wrapping them around his waist. She dropped her hands lower, feeling the swell of his desire for her. Gripping him, the water made him slick, his skin feeling like silk in her palm.

Chip groaned and rested his forehead against her shoulder for a moment, his breath coming out in heavy gasps. “I've imagined what it would feel like to have your hands on me, but real life is so much better. I've been trying so hard to resist you and now, here you are, stroking me. I think I might die.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” She ran her hands back up his chest and wrapped them around his shoulders, forcing him to pick up his head and look at her again. His gaze was intense. Needy. She wouldn't pull away from him tonight.

He claimed her mouth again, his intensity almost overwhelming. Her knees went weak and she pressed against him, stabilizing herself. He snaked his hand between their bodies and caressed her breast. She arched her back, pushing her breast into his hand as his thumb flickered across the tight peak.

Chip pulled away from her, his gaze raking down her body leaving her shivering. His face scrunched up, looking annoyed. “I need to get you out of this water.” Without awaiting her reply, he scooped her into his arms, his hands clasping her rear. She hooked her arms and legs around him and nibbled on his neck as he carried her out of the waterfall.

He kicked at her towel in an attempt to spread it out then grumbled and cursed and laid her down on her back. The ground was cool beneath her, but Chip's body heat instantly warmed her.

“Stupid towel,” he mumbled, kissing a path from her throat to her breast. He sucked her beaded nipple into his mouth, swiping his tongue across it. His mouth felt as hot as fire against her chilled skin. Heat pooled low in her belly and she squirmed under him.

Next he found her center. He touched her in ways she couldn't remember being touched before. Every moment was a tantalizing mix of hot and cold sensations.

“Chip, please,” she cried out when she thought she couldn't take anymore of his touch. She needed him. All of him. Every last incredible inch of him.

He rolled off of her and scrounged in his pants for something. After a moment and distinct, “Hell, yeah!” he was back, condom in hand. “I was worried I didn't have one. Thank God my ridiculous need to carry my wallet at all times has finally come in handy for once.”

She smiled at his happiness even though she knew they could have done it safely without any protection. There was no risk of her getting pregnant at least, just another of her many imperfections, but she supposed there was always the risk for disease. So it was a good thing that Chip was smart and responsible and not thinking with his penis alone because apparently she couldn't say the same for her rational thought.

He rolled the condom on and positioned himself above her. Zoe moaned as he slid into her heat, his body still chilled from the water. The effect of the two temperatures was mind-blowing. She rocked her hips in time with his thrusts, her legs wrapping around his waist, anchoring him to her.

Chip kissed her again, but this time she didn't just feel lust and desire. She felt something else, deeper, stronger, more passionate. Zoe kissed him back, putting everything she had into this one perfect moment with him.

As she felt herself begin to crest, she clung to him, raking her fingers down his back. His muscles flexing and stretching beneath her fingertips took her over the edge. He was just so beautiful. So perfect.

Her body clenched around his as he called out his release then stilled. His breathing was as ragged as hers when he collapsed down onto the ground beside her. He pulled her into his arms, spooning her while they caught their breath. His came out in soft puffs against her shoulder and she closed her eyes, savoring the intimacy while sheltered by the dark.

She rolled over in his arms and stared at him. His eyes were closed and his chest still heaved, taking in breaths. God, this man was gorgeous. He had strong, chiseled cheekbones and jaw, soft lips, a straight nose, and the most perfectly arched brows. Of course, those were probably perfected in a salon rather than by nature, but she didn't care.

He was stunning. And when he touched her cheek and opened his eyes to peer at her, she saw so much goodness in his gaze. He didn't look at her like she was a beauty queen or a prize to win as some had, nor did he look at her as if she were a monster as she was also familiar with. He looked at her as if he saw the real her — the Zoe she felt like on the inside, even if that person didn't shine through on the outside.

She took in a shaky breath, overcome with the feeling that this was as good as it was ever going to get for her. No one had ever made her feel like this. She didn't feel as if she had simply satisfied a need like she usually did when she was intimate with someone. This was different.

And it was a little terrifying.

She'd never felt so vulnerable in a man's arms as she did with Chip. She'd never wanted to give herself so completely to someone as she wanted to give herself to him, right now. Every time she was with him, actually. If only she could.

But she knew better.

She couldn't stay here in this moment with him. She couldn't give herself to him fully because doing so would mean sharing everything about her life with him. She couldn't do that. She'd worked too hard to make her life as perfect as it could be and telling Chip her history would ruin everything.

No one but her family knew the truth and she had to keep it that way or everything she'd worked for — everything she'd suffered for — would be for nothing.

If she told him the truth, she'd lose him.

Zoe propped herself on one elbow and ran her fingers across Chip's jaw. His skin was scratchy from needing a shave, but she liked the rough feel of it. It was a good reminder that not everything would go as smoothly for them as she wanted it to. She still had a rough side that he'd never understand.

Zoe pressed her lips to his and he opened his mouth, responding to her. She put everything she had into that kiss. Every emotion she wanted to share with him … every ounce of wishing and wanting. When she finally got to the longing of wanting to be with him forever and knowing she never would, she forced herself to pull away. He smiled at her with a twinkle of desire stirring in his eyes that told her he was ready and willing to go again.

She bit back tears, knowing being with him again would destroy her.

“I have to go,” she whispered. She slipped into her clothes faster than she thought possible and bolted for the cover of the forest, leaving Chip behind, calling after her.