Marie Sexton - Between Sinners And Saints (12 page)

Levi wasn’t sure why he was doing any of it. He didn’t know why he’d asked Jaime to go surfing or to come to his house. He didn’t know why he let Jaime’s big, hairy dog in his truck or on his couch. He didn’t know why, when he called to order the pizza, he specifically asked if they used canned mushrooms, and, when they said yes, he hung up and called a different place altogether. He didn’t know why he wanted more than anything to take care of Jaime. All he knew was that he did. Jaime was obviously lost. He was obviously exhausted. He obviously needed something. And Levi was determined to give it to him.

It wasn’t until Jaime turned his hand over and his strong fingers grabbed onto Levi’s hand that he realized why he’d done all of it: he cared about Jaime. It was such a simplistic explanation, but it was true. Looking back on his years in Miami, he realized he hadn’t bothered to care about anyone in a very long time. He looked over at Jaime, who still had tears on his cheeks, but was already falling back to sleep. Jaime needed him. He knew it with every fiber of his being. And the truth was, it felt good to be needed. It made him feel lighter, knowing maybe he could do something good. Something important.

“Come on,” he said to Jaime as he stood up and tugged on his hand. “Let’s put you to bed.”
“It’s only eight o’clock,” Jaime grumbled, but he let Levi push him down the hall to the bedroom. Once there, Jaime started pulling off his clothes, leaving them in a trail from the door to the bed. Levi knew Jaime would have wanted him to turn away, if he’d been awake enough to think about it, but Levi couldn’t help but watch him undress. He had discovered the first day he took Jaime surfing how beautiful his body was. He wasn’t huge or muscular, but he wasn’t too soft either. He was thin, but not overly so. His skin was the golden-pink shade that only true redheads had, and it was almost flawless. No freckles marred his shoulders or his arms. He had sparse red hair across his chest. His legs were muscular.
And his ass? Levi eyed it appreciatively as Jaime stepped out of his shorts. He wished he could see more of it because the shape was absolutely perfect.
Wearing only his boxers, Jaime burrowed under the comforter and onto the bed. His head surfaced again on the other side, a spot of reddish-blonde curls above Levi’s blue comforter, and he settled down with a sigh. Dolly jumped up on the bed, and Levi bit back his urge to tell her no. She turned in several circles before throwing herself down, practically on top of Jaime.
“I really love your bed.”
Levi smiled. “Get some sleep.”
“Levi?”
“Yes?”
“You can sleep here, too. I’ll stay on my side.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
He wasn’t sure Jaime heard him. He had a feeling he was already asleep.

It was eleven-thirty when Levi turned off the TV and headed for his bedroom. Dolly, who was curled up by Jaime’s legs, didn’t raise her head, but greeted him with a wagging tail as he climbed into bed. Jaime was sound asleep, buried deep under the covers. Only one arm stuck out from under the comforter, lying across the bed, almost as if he was reaching out to Levi in his sleep.

Levi hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be to share a bed with Jaime. Jaime had said he’d stay on his side, but Levi quickly realized he was going to have a very hard time doing the same. For a long time, he lay looking at the smooth, pale skin of Jaime’s arm. He remembered how scared he’d been on the couch as he’d reached for Jaime’s hand, and how pleased he’d been when Jaime didn’t pull away. He wondered what would happen if he touched Jaime now. Could he touch the hand that was only inches away? What about Jaime’s thin wrist? Maybe he could slide his fingers up Jaime’s arm. Was it possible Jaime would give in to his touch? Or would Levi only destroy the trust he’d managed to build so far?

He reached toward Jaime. He didn’t dare touch him, but he moved the comforter out of the way, so he could see Jaime’s face. When Jaime was awake, Levi always thought he looked younger than his twenty-six years. But when he was asleep, he actually looked his age, and Levi realized it was Jaime’s eyes that made him look so young. No matter how good a front Jaime sometimes put up, the hint of fear and vulnerability lingering there always betrayed him.

Levi longed to touch him. His fingers itched to trace Jaime’s cheekbone or his jaw. He imagined brushing his thumb over his lips. He imagined kissing him and felt every part of his body react. It wasn’t just that his cock stirred, although that happened, too. He felt it everywhere—a lightness in his chest, his heart beginning to race, butterflies in his stomach, and he had to close his eyes and breathe deeply. He imagined Jaime’s mouth opening underneath his. He wondered how he would taste and had to fight the urge to slide across the bed and find out.

He felt as if he was wound tight, tense and aching, his entire body practically humming with the need to touch Jaime. To kiss him and hold him and—

Levi sprang out of bed so fast, he made Dolly jump up in alarm. He grabbed his pillow and headed for the couch. It was old and lumpy and a little too short, but anything was better than lying in his own bed, seeing and wanting what he couldn’t ever have.

Jaime knew, before he even surfaced from his dream, that he was in Levi’s bed. It felt good. It smelled good. It was as if somehow, something about Levi had rubbed off on his sheets, and now Jaime was wrapped in it, cocooned and comfortable, and feeling better than he had in a week.

He hoped Levi would still be there when he opened his eyes. He hoped he’d have a moment to watch him sleep. But when he finally turned to look, he found the other side of the bed empty. Dolly rose from her spot by his feet and came to greet him, bumping his face with her nose and wagging her tail.

Jaime checked his watch. It was nearly six. “Time for your walk, isn’t it, girl?”
She whined pitifully, although her tail continued to wag.
“Okay, okay. I’m coming.”
He barely remembered climbing into Levi’s bed the night before. His clothes were strewn across the floor, which itself was an indicator of how exhausted he’d been. He was never so sloppy. He wondered with some embarrassment if he’d at least managed to wait for Levi to leave before performing his little striptease.
He was surprised to find Levi asleep on the couch. He was on his side with one leg and one arm hanging off at awkward angles. It made Jaime’s back hurt just looking at him.
He sat down on the floor next to him. He wasn’t sure how to wake him. He wasn’t sure if it was fair to touch him or not. In the end, he fell back on what he knew. He took Levi’s hand and started to massage it, working the channels between his fingers as he knew Levi liked. Levi’s eyes didn’t open, but his breathing changed, and he sighed.
“I bet your neck hurts,” Jaime said.
“It does.”
“You shouldn’t sleep like that.”
Levi smiled. “It’s okay. I know this great massage therapist. He’ll fix me right up.”
Jaime felt himself blush and he was glad Levi’s eyes were closed so he couldn’t see. “I told you you could sleep in the bed.”
Levi was silent for a second, but finally he said, “I snore.” “You weren’t snoring just now.”
Levi’s eyes opened, and Jaime found it easier to look back down at Levi’s hand rather than to face him. “I didn’t want to wake you,” Levi said. “You needed the sleep.”
“I’m going to take Dolly for a walk and then I need to get home. You should go sleep in your bed.”
“I will,” Levi said. But he didn’t move. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes.”
“No bad dreams?”
“No. I know it sounds crazy, but your bed…” Jaime kept his head down, hoping Levi wouldn’t see his blush, but knowing his cheeks were probably so red Levi would have to be blind not to. “It makes me feel safe,” he said, as he continued to massage Levi’s hand. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Levi turned his hand, catching Jaime’s fingers in his own.
Jaime’s instinct was to pull away, but before he could, Levi stood up, pulling Jaime to his feet at the same time. He let go of Jaime, then went to the table by the door and dug around in the drawer. He was wearing only a pair of shorts, and Jaime did his best to keep his eyes on Levi’s face when he turned and walked back over to him. Levi’s eyes were dark and sexy, seeming to ask him a question as he slowly reached for Jaime’s hand.
Jaime resisted the urge to pull away and he saw a hint of a smile on Levi’s face as he took his hand. He placed something in it, curling Jaime’s fingers over it with his other hand. But he didn’t let go. They stood there, Levi holding Jaime’s hand in both of his. It could only have been a second or two, but they felt to Jaime like the longest seconds he’d ever experienced. Levi seemed to be staring at his lips, and Jaime felt himself blush again.
Levi hesitated, as if he didn’t know what to do next, and then he took a tiny step forward. Without even thinking, Jaime backed away. Levi stopped. His smile was a little bit sad, as if Jaime’s reaction was exactly what he had expected, and yet still not what he had hoped. He dropped Jaime’s hand, stepping backward as he did.
Jaime opened his hand and looked down at what Levi had given him. It was a key.
“Is this to your apartment?” he asked in surprise.
“I have to work tonight,” Levi said, “but my bed will still be here.”

Levi felt good about giving Jaime a key to his place. Each night that weekend, Jaime and Dolly arrived at his apartment as Levi was leaving for work, and when Levi came home shortly after five in the morning, he’d find them both sound asleep in his bed. Jaime always seemed to wake up when Levi came in, even when Levi tried to be quiet. And even if Levi told him to keep sleeping, he wouldn’t. He’d get up and take Dolly for a walk before heading home, and Levi would climb into a bed still warm from Jaime’s body heat and fall sound asleep before Jaime was even dressed.

Levi had assumed Jaime would come over again on Sunday, just as he’d done on the nights Levi was working. He was disappointed when the evening passed with no sign of him, but Monday afternoon was his regular massage appointment. He could tell Jaime hadn’t slept well just by looking into his blue eyes.

“Where were you last night?” he asked as Jaime moved around and started to massage his arm.
Jaime seemed surprised by the question. “I was home.” “I thought you’d come over.”
Jaime started to blush. He kept his gaze on his work, as he

often did, rather than making eye contact. “It’s one thing for me to use your apartment while you’re working, but you don’t want to put up with me on your nights off, too.”

“You know that for a fact, do you?” Levi asked. Jaime smiled, but didn’t answer. “So you plan on not sleeping again until Thursday night when I go back to work?”

Jaime managed to blush a bit more. “I’ll be okay.”
“I’m your last client, right?”
Jaime seemed reluctant to answer, but finally nodded. “That’s

right.”
“Let me take you out, then you can come over.”
“Out where?” Jaime asked with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. “Anywhere.”
Jaime had finished with his upper body, and Levi could see him

debating as he performed his magic trick with the sheet, leaving one of Levi’s legs exposed. Finally he asked, “Do you like
Torchwood?
”

“Is that a restaurant?”
Jaime laughed. “No. It’s a TV show.”
“Never seen it.”
“One of my clients loaned me the boxed set of season two. I

It took Levi a second to figure out what Jaime was saying. He didn’t want to go out. But he
did
want to come over. He was deliberately not making eye contact again and he was blushing. Again. Levi couldn’t help but think how damn cute he was when he did that.

“It’s just a suggestion,” Jaime said nervously, and Levi realized he still hadn’t answered.
“It sounds great,” he said.
Torchwood
turned out to be a bit too cheesy for Levi’s tastes, but then again, he was quickly realizing just about everything Jaime enjoyed was. He remembered the first night they’d gone out, when he’d mentioned going to a movie. Jaime had said, “Nothing heavy. Nothing sappy or sad.” It seemed Jaime had dealt with enough drama already. He didn’t want to be subjected to more. But melodrama seemed to suit him just fine.
They had fun together. It was a mellow, friendly, Boy Scout kind of fun. It was very much the kind of fun Levi might have had with his brothers once upon a time, and being with Jaime made him realize how much he missed it. He’d spent so many years telling himself he didn’t need it, but Levi couldn’t deny how much he enjoyed it. At some point during episode five—or maybe episode six; Levi had lost count—he looked over to find Jaime asleep on the other end of the couch.
“Come on, kid,” he said, gently tapping the back of Jaime’s hand with his finger. He didn’t think Jaime would appreciate being touched any more than that. “Wake up.”
Jaime’s eyes drifted open. “I should go home.”
“No,” Levi said, “but you should go to bed. Come on.” He took Jaime’s hand and pulled him off the couch. He started to lead him down the hall, but Jaime stopped suddenly, bringing him up short.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked when Levi turned to look at him. “I won’t sleep with you.”
Jaime’s assumption he had an agenda annoyed him. And yet, it wasn’t as if his suspicions were unjustified. “I’m not looking to get laid,” Levi said. “I just want you to be able to rest. That’s all. I won’t touch you.”
Jaime’s eyes were tired, but wary. “Why?”
“Because,” Levi told him, “we’re friends.” The words seemed to confuse Jaime, but Levi could also see him wavering. “It’s okay, Jaime,” Levi said. “Let me take care of you.”
And when Levi tugged his hand again, Jaime followed. Levi made a point of looking through his closet for nothing in particular while Jaime undressed, then he heard Jaime sigh as he settled down into the bed.
“Don’t sleep on the couch, Levi,” he mumbled. “It’s bad for your back.”
That was true, of course. “I won’t,” he said, and he meant it. Sleeping on the couch didn’t sound a bit appealing. Then again, sleeping next to Jaime was bound to prove trying in other ways.
Jaime was asleep by the time Levi finished brushing his teeth, and Levi climbed into the empty side of the bed. That night was difficult. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about the soft warm body on the other side of the bed. He ended up jacking off in his bathroom, then sleeping on the couch until three in the morning, when he finally managed to return to his own bed.
Tuesday night was better. He stayed up late, and by the time he climbed into bed, he wasn’t awake long enough to obsess about Jaime. But Wednesday was the worst.
He managed to fall asleep next to Jaime without much trouble, but he woke a few hours later. Jaime had kicked the covers off them both, but had drifted in his sleep toward the warmth of Levi’s body. Levi could feel Jaime against his back. Jaime wasn’t tight up against him, not spooning, but he seemed to be curled in a ball against Levi’s back. Levi could feel his breath on the back of his neck, and it felt unbelievably good.
He debated rolling over and trying to make something happen, but knew right away it was a bad idea. He had promised not to hit on Jaime, and Jaime trusted him. He couldn’t violate that trust now. But the longer he lay there, feeling Jaime behind him, the more aroused he became.
He sat up quickly, thinking maybe he’d sleep on the couch after all, but his sudden movement cause Jaime to stir. Jaime’s eyes opened a crack and he seemed to realize he wasn’t on his own side. He mumbled something that might have been an apology, although it sounded suspiciously like “Captain Jack,” then rolled over, back to his own side of the bed, and went back to sleep. If he’d ever really been awake to begin with.
Levi lay back down. But he knew he wasn’t going to sleep. He couldn’t take his eyes off Jaime.
Jaime’s back was to him. He wore only boxers. He had rolled forward from his side so he was mostly on his stomach, and his position accentuated the arc of his back. His boxers had ridden up one leg, revealing the curve at the top of his thigh. Levi couldn’t help but think of the things he couldn’t see: Jaime’s ass, which had always appealed to him, a little rounder than some, and probably soft and pale. Levi pictured it with very little hair. Maybe a bit on the lower part of his cheeks, where they rounded into his taint. The hair would be faint and sparse and red, just as it was on his chest.
Levi’s hand drifted down to his own engorged cock. It was wrong to want Jaime this much. Or was it? He didn’t want to hurt him. He didn’t want to take advantage of him. But he very much wanted to be intimate with him.
He eyed Jaime’s smooth back and the tempting swell of his ass inside his shorts, and he knew he needed to do something about the sweet ache in his groin. He debated going to the bathroom to do it, but he couldn’t quite make himself do it. He couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from Jaime.
He reached down and pushed his briefs out of the way. Simply freeing his erection from his shorts gave him a bit of relief. But not enough. He didn’t want to sleep in a wet spot, though, so he reached behind himself, off the side of the bed, and found his discarded T-shirt on the floor. He wrapped it around his cock and started to stroke.
He went slowly, in part because he didn’t want to shake the bed and risk waking Jaime. But it was also because his fantasy of Jaime felt slow and erotic. When he’d thought of seducing Jaime back when they’d first met, he’d thought of bending Jaime over his massage table and fucking him hard. He’d thought of driving into him, quick and raw and as impersonal as his encounters at the club.
But this time was different.
He imagined feeling Jaime’s skin, waking him with gentle caresses. He imagined kissing him, first the back of his neck, then his chest, and finally his soft, pink lips. He imagined running his hands up Jaime’s pale thighs. He imagined the tender flesh on the inside of those thighs, high up, between Jaime’s legs. He imagined himself on his knees in front of Jaime, sucking his cock. He imaged Jaime’s hands tangled in his hair. He imagined the sounds Jaime might make. Through it all, he stroked himself, stifling his moans, trying to still his quickened breathing. He imagined pushing into Jaime. Not thrusting hard. Not driving home. But looking down into his gorgeous blue eyes as he slowly worked his way inside. He imagined Jaime’s legs wrapped around his waist, and seeing Jaime’s face flushed with desire, his eyes closed, his head thrown back.
He worked himself, stroking toward his climax. He didn’t examine what his fantasies meant, if they meant anything at all. He only knew it felt
unbelievably
good. He couldn’t remember when he’d found so much satisfaction masturbating. When he finally came, pumping into his soiled shirt, his face buried in his pillow to keep from making a noise, it felt like a dam bursting, and it took him a long time to catch his breath.
And on the other side of the bed, Jaime slept on.