Marie Sexton - Between Sinners And Saints (8 page)

It took him several days to scrape together enough courage to call his mom. Although he still felt awkward about the way their previous conversation had ended, his mother acted as if nothing had ever happened.

“Hi, honey! I’m so happy you called. Did you have a good weekend?”
“I did.” And it was the truth. Teaching Jaime to surf had been the most fun he’d had in a long time.
“Ruth says you decided to come for your father’s birthday. Honey, I’m so happy you changed your mind.”
“That’s what I’m calling to talk to you about, Mom.”
“You’re
not
coming.” It wasn’t even a question, and it was a testament to their relationship over the last few years that she would assume he was calling to cancel.
“I am coming, but not alone. I’d like to bring a friend.”
“Who?”
“His name is Jaime.”
There was a tense pause, then his mother said cautiously, “What kind of friend is this, Levi?”
“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my massage therapist, actually. And he’s
just
a friend, I promise.”
“You want to bring your massage therapist to your father’s birthday?” She was teasing now. Whatever reservations she’d had were gone now she knew Jaime wasn’t his lover.
“He doesn’t have any family, and I feel bad leaving him to spend the holiday alone.”
“Of course,” she said. “We have plenty of room.”
“Plenty of room” was a bit relative when you were dealing with six kids, their spouses, and nineteen of their children, but it was certainly true one more wasn’t going to make much difference. “We have to bring his dog, too. I hope that’s okay.”
“As long as it’s friendly.”
“Dolly’s sweet. And Jaime’s a total Boy Scout. You’ll love him. But don’t try to hug him or anything, okay? He’s got kind of a phobia about being touched.”
“Is he afraid of germs?”
“No, it’s not that.” He wondered how much he should say to his mother. In the end, he decided to simply tell her the truth. “All I know is, he left home when he turned eighteen and he hasn’t spoken to his family since. He will
not
talk about his past. And he freaks out a bit if people get too close. Anything else I could say would be pure speculation.”
His mother absorbed that for a second before saying, “I understand, Levi.” And she did. He could tell by the gentle compassion in her voice. “We’d be happy to have him.”

Jaime felt as if he was living somebody else’s life. Getting drunk with Levi, then learning to surf, and now heading away for a weekend with Levi’s family. It seemed a bit surreal.

It didn’t take much discussion to conclude they should take Jaime’s car to South Carolina. Levi had only his motorcycle and the beat-up old truck he used for surfing. Jaime’s Escort would be far more comfortable.

Most of Levi’s family would be arriving on Thursday. Although none of his siblings lived in Georgetown, they were all relatively close—Raleigh and Greensboro, North Carolina, Atlanta, Georgia, Knoxville, Tennessee, and Danville, Virginia. The drive from Miami would take close to twelve hours. They debated leaving on Wednesday evening and stopping in Jacksonville for the night, but in the end the decided to leave early Thursday morning. At five A.M., they packed their bags in the trunk, settled Dolly into the back seat and left Miami. Jaime drove, and Levi promptly reclined his seat and went back to sleep.

Jaime had been thinking all morning about Levi’s invitation, and once Levi was awake again, he said to him, “It occurred to me that you’re bringing me along as some kind of buffer between you and your family.”

Levi thought for a minute before he answered. “When you say it that way, it makes me feel like an asshole.”
Jaime laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I understand.”
“Good,” Levi said, “because I’m not sure I do. Putting you between me and my perfect fucking family seems kind of selfish.”
“Levi, I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty. I’m glad you invited me.”
Levi gave him a killer smile, the kind he normally reserved for surfing. Or maybe for the men at the club. “I’m glad you said yes,” he said.
“Are they going to try to convert me?”
Levi laughed. “Not unless you ask them to. They’re pretty good about the whole ‘live and let live’ thing, at least when it comes to non-family members.”
“Should I lie about being gay?”
“You don’t need to. They won’t lecture
you.
”
“Why not? It’s a sin, right?”
“It is. But you have the right to make your own choices.”
“So they think being gay is a choice?”
“No, that’s not what I meant. They believe there may or may not be genetic or environmental factors that make us gay. But according to them, that’s not the point.”
“So maybe God made us gay, but it’s still a sin?”
“Right. Just because it’s ‘natural’ doesn’t mean it’s not a sin. Almost the opposite. ‘For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord.’” He smiled over at Jaime. “Still remember that shit from seminary.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It means it’s in man’s nature to sin. I think it’s similar to the Catholic idea of original sin. Although I’ve never been Catholic, so I could be wrong. But basically, almost everybody has a natural inclination to sin one way or another at some point in their life. The trick is to overcome. My dad’s favorite saying is, ‘Selfmastery is the spiritual goal of the faithful.’”
“Okay, but I still don’t understand why they’d lecture you and not me.”
“Because you’re your own person, and although they may see your choices as wrong, they’ll accept your right to make them. I, on the other hand, am family, and they have a stake in where I end up spending my afterlife.”
“So you’re saying, they don’t want
you
to burn in hell, but they don’t care if I do.”
Levi didn’t answer, and when Jaime looked over at him, he found Levi was smiling at him, looking highly amused. “You really want to get into Mormon doctrine?”
“Not too deep.”
“Okay then. Simple version: Mormons don’t believe in the strict dichotomy of heaven and hell. They believe in three kingdoms of heaven: the celestial, the terrestial, and the telestial. The simple way to look at it is that the celestial kingdom is for Mormons. And by that, I don’t just mean you call yourself Mormon. I mean, you have to be a
good
Mormon.”
“Not like you.”
“Not like me,” Levi agreed. “You”—he pointed at Jaime— “can’t ever achieve the highest kingdom because you’re not Mormon. But it doesn’t mean you burn in hell. It just means you go to one of the others kingdoms of heaven. Probably the terrestial since you’re such a Boy Scout.”
“I love the way you make that sound like an insult.”
“Mormons also believe families can be ‘sealed,’ which means they can stay together for all eternity and not be separated by death.”
“So if you’re not ‘sealed’ with them, you won’t see them in heaven?”
“Right. And in order for us to be sealed, all family members must live righteously and must attain the celestial kingdom.”
“Aha,” Jaime said with dawning understanding. “So they need you to resist your ‘natural man’ so you can all live happily together in the celestial kingdom after you die?”
“Exactly.”
“And you don’t want to do that?”
Levi laughed. “Let’s just say I find ‘natural man’ a lot more spiritually fulfilling.”

They stopped for lunch, and Levi took over driving. Several hours later, they arrived in Georgetown. Jaime was doing his best to not be nervous about meeting Levi’s family. Once they’d left the highway and were making their way through town, Levi gave him the rundown.

“Isaac’s the oldest, and he and his wife are perfect Mormons. He’s nice enough, but just once I wish he’d not be so fucking perfect. Jacob’s next and he puts up a pretty good front, but mostly he just hates to let Isaac beat him at anything.” He looked over at Levi with a smile. “They’re only a year apart,” he said, as if that explained everything.

“Ruth and Jackson toe the line, but they’re cool. Caleb’s wife isn’t LDS and she disagrees with the church on most things. He’d be the black sheep of the family if it weren’t for me. And Rachel”—at her name, his voice turned disdainful—“is the baby of the family and would never dream of doing anything to upset Mom and Dad.”

Levi shrugged. “Isaac, Jacob and Rachel give me the hardest time,” he said. “The difference is, Isaac and Jacob have brains. They’ve actually thought about the church’s position. Unfortunately, they agree with it. But at least they have some basis for their belief, you know? I think they actually feel a bit bad about it. I mean, they pray I’ll see the ‘error of my ways’ and turn away from the ‘homosexual lifestyle,’ which about drives me fucking nuts. And it will still piss me off when they get too self-righteous. But their hearts are in the right place.”

“But not Rachel’s?”
“Rachel spouts the party line like it’s the goddamn pledge of allegiance. If somebody told her President Monson had declared the sky was green, she’d never even stop to question it.”
Jaime had grown up with only the bare bones of a family and with no solid idea of religion at all. He imagined Levi’s family as some kind of club, with shared beliefs and goals, and himself as an outsider, who was bound to get something wrong. “Is there anything I should know?” Jaime asked.
Levi looked at him in surprise. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. Anything that might offend them, or—”
He stopped, cut short by Levi’s laughter. “Are you planning to do something crazy?”
“Well, no. But—”
“We’re just like any other family,” Levi said. “And frankly, you’re such a Boy Scout, you’ll fit right in.”
Jaime flipped him off in response, which made Levi laugh hysterically. Apparently Boy Scouts weren’t supposed to use crude finger gestures.
“Seriously,” Levi told him, once he’d stopped laughing, “don’t worry. They may piss
me
off, but they’ll be perfectly civil to
you.
” He grinned over at Jaime. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll give you the house rules.”
“Okay,” Jaime said, although based on Levi’s shit-eating grin, Jaime suspected he was only going to tease him.
“Don’t come down with a sudden case of Tourette’s and call my dad a filthy cock-sucker.”
Jaime smiled. “Got it.”
“Don’t do a striptease on the dinner table.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
“And don’t grab my sister’s ass.”
“Can I grab your brother’s ass?”
Levi winked over at him. “You can grab my ass, if you get desperate.”
Despite Levi’s reassurance, by the time they arrived at the house, Jaime was terrified. He had no idea why he’d agreed to come.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” Levi told him as they got out of the car.
Jaime might have believed him more if Levi himself didn’t look like he was walking into his own execution. He and Dolly followed Levi up the sidewalk to the front door. Levi stopped with his hand on the knob.
“My family can be a bit overwhelming.”
Jaime discovered over the next few hours that “a bit overwhelming” was an enormous understatement.
Ruth met them at the door, hugging Levi and calling him “Leviticus.” Then she turned to him. “Hi, Jaime! It’s so great to meet you.” The friendly smile she gave him seemed completely genuine.
“I’m happy to meet you, too.” He was surprised she didn’t try to shake his hand. Handshakes were something he’d grown accustomed to, but he was still relieved.
“Come on,” she said. “Everybody’s out in the back yard.”
Jaime followed Ruth and Levi through the entryway and past the family room, weaving through a maze of abandoned toys on the floor. They went through the dining room to a sliding glass door.
She turned to Levi with a smile. “You warned him, right?”
“I tried,” Levi said.
Ruth laughed and opened the door. And they led Jaime into the circus.
For some reason he couldn’t quite explain, Jaime had pictured Levi’s family in muted shades of grey. He figured the children would be hushed and oppressed. He’d imagined the women being quiet and submissive, wearing housedresses and head scarves. He’d pictured the men dressed like Quakers. In his mind, they’d all sat together in a quiet room, glaring with silent disapproval at the rest of the world.
He could not have been more wrong.
There were kids everywhere, and the noise to prove it. There was a swing set crawling with them, and another group that seemed to be running around screaming with no purpose at all. Several of them swarmed to Dolly like she was some kind of magnet, and Dolly soaked it up.
Adults were scattered amongst the mayhem. One was at an industrial-sized grill, cooking enough hamburgers and hot dogs to feed an army. Two more stood in the middle of the yard tossing a football with a couple of the older kids. Another was sorting out a tearful argument between two young boys. There were women sitting around a picnic table, drinking lemonade and eating tortilla chips and guacamole. One was pregnant. One was nursing a baby. And it seemed nobody held still for more than thirty seconds at a time.
This swarm of people—bright and friendly, smiling and yelling, teasing and laughing—stood in stark contrast to the dour family in his mind. And except for there being three times too many of them, they were, as Levi had tried to tell him, just like any other family. Jaime felt like a bit of a fool for having ever thought otherwise.
Levi took his arm, and Jaime was too overwhelmed to protest. In all the chaos, it gave him something to hang on to, figuratively as well as literally. Levi led him into the fray, introducing him to people as they passed.
Ruth and Rachel were easy to tell apart, partly because Rachel was pregnant. She was also bubblier and generally more annoying than her older sister.
“She’s like a goddamn cheerleader on speed,” Levi said under his breath.
Ruth seemed solid and no-nonsense. Levi’s dad, Abraham, was quiet and imposing, yet not overly stern. Then again, maybe it was impossible to be stern while three grandchildren hung from you like a jungle gym. Levi’s mother Nancy looked like an aging hippy. She wore an ankle-length flowing dress and had grey hair hanging in a long ponytail down her back. After that, it became unbelievably confusing. Levi’s brothers all looked alike. Only Levi’s deep tan and his overgrown hair kept him from looking like Isaac, Jacob and Caleb. To make matters more confusing, they were married to women named Kristine, Kristin, and Kirsten.
“You’re pulling my leg,” Jaime said, when Levi told him.
“I swear I’m not,” Levi said, laughing.
“We told Levi if a married a girl with a K name, he was in big trouble,” Nancy said. She seemed to regret it as soon as she said it. She glanced nervously at Levi.
“Well, Mom,” he said with a strained smile, “no chance of that, so I guess we’re safe.”
After asking again which brother was which, Jaime was able to distinguish them by the shirts they wore. Of course, he’d be lost again tomorrow, assuming they didn’t all opt to wear dirty clothes the rest of the weekend for his sake.
Ruth’s husband Jackson was a big man, like a football player gone soft. Rachel’s husband was quiet and shy. And was also named Isaac.
“Did you all do this on purpose?” Jaime asked.
“Just wait,” Levi said. And then he started naming kids. Isaac and Kristine had six, Jacob and Kristin had four, as did Ruth and Jackson. Caleb and Kirsten had two, and Rachel and the nonBinder Isaac had three, with a fourth on the way. Boys outnumbered girls roughly two to one. The oldest was sixteen, and the youngest was still nursing. The task of pointing out who was who was made even more difficult by the fact they were kids and, with the exception of the nursing babies, none of them stayed in one place for more than three seconds. It was like trying to name leaves in a whirlwind.
“I’ll never keep them all straight,” Jaime said when Levi was done.
“Call the boys ‘Champ’ or ‘Ace’ and the girls ‘Princess,’ and you’ll be safe.” It seemed like good advice.
Jackson, Jacob and Caleb were still tossing the football among them in the middle of the yard.
“Come on, Levi,” Caleb called.
“What are we playing?” Levi asked as Caleb tossed the ball toward him.
“Smear the Queer,” Caleb said, just as Levi caught it.
Jaime was shocked, and he could tell Jacob was as well by the look on his face. But Caleb, Jackson and Levi all laughed. In one quick movement, Levi flicked the ball to Jacob and tackled Caleb. Jackson, still laughing, grabbed Levi around the waist and attempted to pull him off Caleb, but before he could, he was bowled over by Isaac, who had abandoned his post at the grill to join the pile.
“Is this normal?” Jaime asked Ruth, who was standing next to him watching her husband and her brothers with a bemused look on her face. Jacob and Isaac’s sixteen-year-old son had joined the “game” now, too. There was still some scrambling for the ball, but it seemed to be more about having an excuse to tackle each other.
“Pretty much,” she said, glancing at him. “Aren’t you going to join them?”
For somebody who relied on personal space to keep him sane, the idea of being in a pile of men was terrifying. “No!”
The kids had noticed the men on the ground and were piling on, too. The entire group devolved into smaller groups of squealing, giggling kids being tickled by their dads and uncles, brothers and cousins. When that wore off, there were just grown men lying on the ground, grinning like fools as they caught their breath.
“He seemed so worried about coming,” Jaime said to Ruth. “I don’t understand.”
Her smile started to fade as she watched the men on the lawn, who were slowly helping each other up, groaning and complaining together as they did that they were too old for this crap.
“It always starts out friendly,” she said. “They’re brothers. They love each other.” Jaime could hear the “but” in her voice, and he waited for her to go on. “One way or another, by Sunday it’ll all go wrong.”