Memory: Volume 1, Lasting Impressions, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (24 page)

“No, she is not.” 

“Ah ha!  So, go to her!”  He grinned.  “What is the delay?”

Darcy closed his eyes and sighed.  “You know that she is not of our social sphere, Richard.”  He was suddenly struck with a vision of Elizabeth’s face and how afraid she had been of his rejection.  He closed his eyes again, and instead tried to remember her laughter and smiles.  He whispered.  “How can I walk away from her now?  I cannot bear to hurt her.” 

Fitzwilliam leaned forward.   “You have seen her?”  Darcy nodded.  “What happened?”

A small smile appeared.  “You know that I have spotted her in several locations over the past two years, we have exchanged looks, and I have felt her ire and her approval.”  He laughed softly.  “She was there and gone so quickly I sometimes thought it was an apparition.  She has grown into an exceptionally beautiful woman.” His smile continued to grow, reaching to his eyes.  “Georgiana argued with me today, and I stormed off to the park to calm, and there was Elizabeth, waiting for me, caring for me.  We talked, we laughed, we even confessed some of our fears, and when I asked to call on her, she happily accepted me.”  His head dropped down and the smile disappeared.  “And when I returned here I wondered if Father would allow me this choice.”

Fitzwilliam looked at his cousin and understood his hesitation.  “Are you letting her social status dictate your decision?  Because quite honestly Darcy, if I had your money, I would not let that stand in my way.  As the second son, I must take dowry and status into consideration.  You do not.”  Darcy let out a deep breath, and Fitzwilliam decided to test his feelings.  “I spoke to Stewart at the club last week.”

“Why?”  Darcy demanded.

“Why not?”  He laughed.  “We second sons share a camaraderie of sorts.”  He watched Darcy attempting to control his jealousy and leaned forward.  “He is obviously unhappy, he is not the same man he was, and after some cajoling and port he admitted to regret for abandoning a wonderful woman because of her circumstances.  Is that what you want, Darcy?  Do you want to live with a lifetime of regret?  You clearly have feelings for her that you do not hold for any other person.”

“After I first saw her, well, the next day we went over the will, then we left for Pemberley, and you know what happened then.”  He looked away to the window.  “She was so young, I realize now that she was just fifteen, close to Georgiana’s age . . .the thoughts I had of her then, my God, if I knew of any man thinking such things of Georgiana I would kill him!”  Fitzwilliam smiled and nodded.  “I did not realize . . . well, I also knew then that she was not of our circle and . . . asked Father about it.”

“About marrying below yourself?”

He nodded.  “Yes, he said . . .” His speech slowed and he looked back to the portrait.  “He said to be prepared for the unexpected to arise.  He said . . .” Darcy stood and stared into his Father’s eyes.  “He said to allow room for my heart as well as my head!” 

“What has come over you?”  Fitzwilliam demanded.

“I have been trying to remember that for years!  He told me that practically on his deathbed,
Remember what I said to you
. That is what it was!  I remember at the time that I did not understand what he meant, I only heard him saying that I have been raised with certain expectations.  Richard!  He was giving me permission to love . . . anyone!”  Darcy spun around to face his cousin.  “I remember!  She is in Gracechurch Street right now!” 

“So tell me Cousin, why are you not there now as well?” 

“I have only just remembered, and . . .” He sobered.  “What if I do see her, what would such an alliance do to Georgiana’s prospects?”  He looked down at his desk as his soaring heart suddenly slowed.  “Perhaps Father was not telling me I could marry so far below my station.”

“Do you seriously think that a girl with a dowry of thirty thousand pounds will find herself shunned by society if you marry with your heart instead of your pocketbook in mind?”  Fitzwilliam lifted his brow.  “You could dye her skin purple with grape juice and there would still be a line of suitors waiting at your door.  Besides, Georgiana is at least five years from marriage, whatever you do now will be long forgotten by then.” 

“Do you really think so?  I could not bear to hurt her in any way, she is all I have.”  Darcy’s voice shook as he looked for his cousin’s reassurance.  “I know that I must find a wife, but also the support that Georgiana truly needs.”

“So your solution is to marry without feeling?  Surely you can do better than that!”  Fitzwilliam waved the settlement papers at him.  “I have not met this woman, I know nothing of her, but she has animated you in a way that I could never fathom you achieving, and this is all after only two, no really one, conversation.  What could happen if you actually paid her a call?”  Darcy looked up with a small smile and met his grinning cousin’s eyes.   “So tell me, why exactly are you looking to marry anyone else?”  He again waved the papers at Darcy.

Darcy stood and grabbed the settlement from Fitzwilliam, threw it into the grate of the fireplace, and quickly set them ablaze.  “What are you talking about, Richard?  I never said that I wanted to marry anyone!”

They laughed, and Darcy walked over and shook Fitzwilliam’s hand.  “Thank you.  I almost made a terrible mistake.  I think that I heard too many times the drumbeat of “duty and honour” pounded into my head, and forgot that there is more to it than just marrying a rich woman, and failed to understand and remember the most important lesson my father ever tried to teach me.”  He looked gratefully at his cousin. 

“I am looking forward to meeting this lady who captured you so quickly!”  He grinned.  “Now, you have an assignment.  It is not too late to pay a call; shall I ask for your carriage to be prepared while you run upstairs and change into some courting attire?”

Feeling better than he had in years, Darcy smiled widely.  “I believe my green coat will look very well on me.”  He took off up the stairs and Fitzwilliam rang for a footman to give the orders for the coach.  He walked over to pick up a crystal decanter and poured a healthy glass of port, and raising it to his lips, paused and toasted George and Anne Darcy. 

“To new memories.” 

DARCY PEERED OUT at the neighbourhood as his coachman paused and called to a passing tradesman.  “Do you know the Gardiner House?”  He did not hear the reply but the coachman obviously did as they began moving again, not too far, when they came to a stop before a modest townhouse.  A maid was on her knees outside, scrubbing the front steps clean.  He drew a breath, straightened his cravat, and stepped out when the door opened. 

“I am not sure how long I will be John, but I suspect it will be brief.” 

“Yes sir, I’ll just wait here, then.”  He closed the door and jumped back up on the coach, and he and the footman watched surreptitiously as their master handed his card to the maid who bobbed a curtsey and ushered him inside the door.  “What brings Mr. Darcy to this part of town?”  He asked his partner.

“I dunno, but he looks nervous.”

“How can you tell?  I never know what he’s thinking.”

“Didn’t you see the way he was chewing his lip?”  Robbie chuckled.  “Something special is afoot, I’d wager.”

Darcy waited in the hallway and took in the decoration.  Like the outside, the house appeared modest but well-kept.  There was nothing at all wanting, clearly Mr. Gardiner was successful in his business.  The maid returned, followed by an older woman who was obviously the housekeeper.  “Mr. Gardiner will be pleased to speak to you, sir.  Please follow me.”  He walked through the home, looking, listening, pleased to smell the scents of a meal cooking and wax from the floors and furniture.  A well-run home indeed, it spoke volumes of Mrs. Gardiner.  “Mr. Darcy, sir.”  The housekeeper moved from the doorway to a study and Darcy stepped in, hearing the door close behind him.  He was greeted by a man of about forty years, his face was good humoured, but his eyes were shrewd and curious.  Darcy liked the combination and did not feel at all offended by the close inspection he was receiving. 

“Mr. Darcy, I am pleased to welcome you to my home, I am Edward Gardiner.” 

“Sir, it is a pleasure, please forgive my late call.”  He took the indicated chair and watched the man settle behind his desk. 

“I must admit that the note on the back of your card intrigued me, as well as your identity.”  He smiled to see Darcy’s brows rise.  “My wife lived in Lambton for a time.  The praises of Pemberley have been sung here many times, and she did happen to mention meeting you this afternoon.”

“Ah, well then, the element of surprise has been thoroughly eliminated from my visit.” 

“I assure you, sir, welcoming a gentleman of your eminence into my home is quite surprising, even without the notation on your card.”  He picked it up and read aloud.  “I wish to speak with you on a matter of some importance regarding Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”  Setting it down, he rested his hands on the desk and looked Darcy in the eye.  “You can understand my curiosity.”

“Yes, I can.”  He smiled slightly and plunged in.  “Perhaps I may begin by saying that I first saw Miss Bennet in Hyde Park two years ago.  She made a very strong impression on me, an unforgettable one, although at the time I realized she was too young to approach, and circumstances in my life prevented me from pursuing a friendship with her.”  Mr. Gardiner nodded and waved him on.  “I did not speak to her, but as I said, I was gifted with a display of her . . .” He struggled for words.

“Unique personality?”

“Indeed.”  Darcy flashed a warm smile for a moment.  “I thought of her often, but as my father had just died and I had my sister to care for, I am afraid that I felt that the memory of my encounter would remain just that until this afternoon when we met again.  I . . .have had the pleasure of spotting her from afar on several occasions through the years, at the Royal Art Exhibition, at the Derby last summer.” 

He saw Mr. Gardiner nod, and arriving at the events of that day felt the importance of impressing him.  Darcy began confidently but by the end his anxiety showed as he rushed through the story.  “I realized that she was just as strongly affected by our reunion as I.  I . . .well, she gave me advice for my sister and we . . .enjoyed our conversation, and she said that she would welcome my call, but she left before I could confirm her address.  My friend Charles Bingley has called here, but he was not available to consult immediately, and I . . .came here now to make sure that another two years does not pass before I speak to her again.”

Mr. Gardiner listened in fascination.  He could well-imagine how Lizzy might impress such a powerful man, but he had to ask the important questions.  “What is your interest in my niece, Mr. Darcy?  I am very aware of your place.  Are you aware of my niece’s?”

“She is the daughter of a gentleman with a small estate in Hertfordshire named Longbourn.”

“Yes.  She has very little to offer besides herself.”

“If my intuition is correct sir; that would be a treasure indeed.” Darcy said and met his eye sincerely.  “You ask my intentions?  I have hopes for many things, but my first is to be given an opportunity to meet her properly and ascertain if she truly desires my attentions.”

“Mr. Darcy, I doubt that there are four hundred families in England that possess your wealth, why would you . . .”

“I have found them wanting.”  He said simply.  “I assure you sir; I am not a man in search of a mistress if that is your fear.  My intentions are honourable.  If she is willing, I wish to begin courting her.  Will you grant my request, sir?”

“I would be a fool not to, and I believe that my sister would never speak to me again if I did not.”  He chuckled and stood.  Darcy sighed with relief and rose.  “By the way, Lizzy is no fool, and will not hesitate to put you in your place, but she also has the kindest heart I have ever known beyond my dear wife.  Show her the respect she deserves.” 

Darcy smiled at the description.  “I will sir.  I grew up watching an excellent marriage, and hope for the same someday.” 

“Very good.  I am sorry to say that we are going to attend a dinner this evening and the ladies are upstairs preparing.  I will ask Lizzy to come down to greet you, if you do not mind waiting for a few minutes?”

“No sir, in fact I would be willing to leave and return at a more convenient time.”

“Now Mr. Darcy, you know that is not true.”  Mr. Gardiner laughed.  “Make yourself comfortable.” 

He left the room and Darcy blew out the breath he had been holding.  The interview had gone very well, and he realized that it was due in no small part to the skill of his host.  “Perhaps I need to rethink my opinions of all men in trade, not just Bingley.”  He mused and wandered the room, scanning the bookshelves and appreciating the collection that was there.

“Oh.”  Elizabeth had flown down the stairs and came to a sudden stop in the doorway.  Darcy turned at the sound and they stood frozen for a moment, then he advanced to stand before her.  “Mr. Darcy.”

“Miss Elizabeth.”  He bowed and took her hand, and lifted it to brush his lips softly over her warm skin.  Darcy closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of the perfume that clung to her fingers.  Slowly he straightened and looked down into her face, and delighted in the dreamlike expression.  “I returned home and realized that I had forgotten to ask you a question.” 

“A question?”

“Yes, an important one.”  His eyes twinkled and his mouth lifted in a small smile.

Elizabeth relaxed and smiled in return.  “Then do not delay a moment longer, sir.”

He removed the volume of sonnets from his pocket and held it out to her.  “I did not learn your favourite.  Bingley purchased this for me, but I am afraid that I have always thought of it as a gift from you, and . . . I confess that I am never without it.”

She blushed with pleasure and her eyes shone.  “That is quite a confession to make to a girl you have just met.”

“You are not a girl, Miss Elizabeth, and you are hardly a new acquaintance.  Will you please tell me which you love?”

“That is a private matter, sir.”  She teased.