Midnight Squad: The Grim (21 page)

           
“Hey…I’m not old.” Ok clearly I was going to lose my side
of the discussion again, and sadly, this was far more common ground. Niki
teased, “Sure, you’re not old. You have experience, like a wrinkled up old
toothless hooker, or cultured like yogurt.
Which probably
explains that weird smell that used to come from your clothes hamper.
I’m
sorry,
clearly I should speak louder for your old
ears.” I growled at the phone while she kept making old jokes. Finally, I
interrupted her, “You’re just jealous.”

           
“Jealous of what?”
She said
incredulously. I took a moment to add to the suspense before responding,
“You’re jealous because us guys can get old and still stay hot. When I finally
get wrinkles and gray hairs then I’ll just be sexy in a different way, but you
little sister will have to suffer the ravages of time and most specifically
gravity. Plus there’s one other thing that I can get that you can’t as we get
older.” She playfully questioned, “What?
Ear and nose hair, a
built in excuse for any potential misfires or inability to use your dork?”

           
“No sis, the best part about getting older as a guy is
that you are able to get the girls with daddy issues.” I taunted. “Damn! Ok you
win. That does sound awesome. I mean you get crazy hot chicks that want a
spanking, and all I get will be saggy boobs and a fat ass.” Niki did her best
to sound angry, but her voice was an endless giggle. It was always good to have
a back and forth with my sister. We had that strange type of relationship where
we could talk about anything no matter how awkward the subject.

           
“Oh well I guess that’s the tradeoff. I get saggy boobs,
a fat ass, and a monthly visitor. In return, I get to have multiple orgasms and
the ability to drink the sissy frou-frou drinks without someone making fun of
me. It doesn‘t really sound like that good of a trade right now, but ask me
again after I spend an hour with Fred set at brain melting levels.” I couldn’t
help but laugh. Niki just has that perfectly twisted sense of humor. She’s
definitely mom’s daughter.
“Seriously?
You named
you’re vibrator Fred? That’s kind of fucked up.”

           
“It is not. It’s devilishly brilliant. When Mom and Dad
ask me what I did last Friday when I didn‘t come home until early the next
morning I can say I was out with Fred late. They are happy because they think
I’m going out with some random guy, and I don’t have to ruin it for them by
saying that I was out on a date trying my best to put
an oh
face on some girl.” Wow! She’s pretty slick. “Niki, I’m telling you. Just tell
Mom and Dad. Trust me, they are still going to love you, but the longer you
keep lying to them the more they are just going to feel betrayed that you
didn’t trust them enough to tell them.” This was an old argument we’d been
having for a while now.

           
“Ok, fine. I’ll tell them the next time you’re in town,
but if they throw me out then I’m coming to live with you. You’ll be required to
fulfill all my ice cream and girly movie needs. In addition, you’ll be my
permanent slave for getting me in that predicament. In addition, I’ll expect
foot rubs, and chocolate. Even then, you’ll still get my permanent wrath. I‘m
small, but I have a big wrath!” She was trying to threaten her way out of
telling our parents, and there was no choice but to call her on it. “Ok, I’m
in, but when I’m proven right you’re going to owe me big time.”

           
“Ok that’s settled, but in the meantime I have a favor.”
Uh-oh.
Nothing good could come of this.
“Wha-a-a-a-at?”
Ok it sounded much more whiny and irritated than I’d planned, but Niki
apparently ignored me and continued, “Well, you said that you’re surrounded by
hot sexy women right?”

           
“Yes” I said patiently. “Get to the point.” I have to say
I wasn’t feeling so good about this at all.

           
“And you do enjoy being the best big brother ever right?”
Niki’s voice was like butter.

           
“Crap, this is going to really be a kick in the nuts
isn’t it?” I couldn’t hide my concern. It wasn’t often that Niki used that
sweet adoring voice. She could be so damn manipulative sometimes, or maybe I
was just a pushover when it came to my sisters. They all used it, and I always
caved. I was already dreading the day when six-year-old Melanie would figure
out that all she had to do was bat her giant brown eyes and talk sweetly and
I’d fold like a chair. I already knew I’d give in to whatever Niki wanted, and
that made it worse.

           
“It is not! I’m just thinking that maybe since you are so
surrounded by a feast of beautiful women, you might toss a few scraps toward
your poor sister that loves you so much.” Her voice was so sickeningly sweet
that she could give cavities. “Oh come on. You can’t be serious?” I questioned.

           
“Remember when we used to go fishing?” She questioned.

           
“Yes.” I stated nervously.

           
“Remember when we went fishing the day after they had
that competition?” She questioned.

           
“Yeah, the lake was fished out. We had to drive two hours
to another lake. We were so tired from driving around that we ended up barely
fishing.” I answered.

           
“That’s the problem. I’ve kind of fished out the whole
area. Either I’ve caught them all before, or they weren’t worth catching. So I
have to find new fishing holes, and by the time I find them, I’m just too tired
to do anything with them. So how about throwing your sister a bone and giving
me a hookup with one of your people. I mean if there’s any that might be
interested.” Oh she’s good. I have to give her that.

           
“I’ll consider it.” I said.

           
“Please.” Niki spoke sweetly as honey.

           
“I said I’d consider it.” I hoped that would finish it.

           
“Oh pretty please with sugar on top, and ice cream, and
cherries, and sexy big breasted women with loose morals.
Wait,
strike that, reverse it because it sounds much better that way.”
I
couldn’t help but laugh, my sister, God love that girl she could talk dark into
light. “Okay, Okay! Fine, I know one girl plays for your team. I’ll give her
your number the first chance I get. Now can we please change the subject?” Niki
playfully agreed, but before we could start, another topic there was a knock on
my door.

           
“Grimmy!
Grimmy are you in
here?” Penny’s gentle voice carried into the room. “I’m here.” My voice was low
and deep. Niki Giggled, “Oh someone has a crush.” I hit off and turned to the
door. Penny was just stepping inside. “Grimmy, I wanted to talk with you if
that’s ok.” I nodded just as my phone rang. My face was already turning red.
Niki had programmed my cell phone. It was one of those phones that everyone
gets their own ring tone. As it was Dad’s home cell was The Cats and the
Cradle, his office phone was some ultra-patriotic big band music. Mom’s ring
was A Song for Mama by Boys II Men. She’d made one for everyone in the family
that had a phone, which I thought was sweet until today when Niki called me.
She promised me she’d taken it off, but there it was playing in my hand. Aqua
was singing I’m a Barbie Girl.

           
Penny smirked as I answered the phone, “Hey, no hanging
up on your little sister. It’s against the rules, especially when you finally
got interesting. So who is she?” My little sister was gloating.
“Who?”
I questioned. “The girl you have a crush on. I grew
up with you. You only do the Barry White voice when you are interested in a
girl. So who is she? Is she pretty?” Penny apparently heard every single word
that came out of my little sister’s mouth because her eyebrow rose up
quizzically. “We are not having this conversation!” I could hear my sister
screaming to wait as I pressed end.

           
I looked up to Penny, “So what did you want to talk to me
about?” Penny leaned against the wall and opened her mouth just as Aqua began
blaring out of my phone. I growled, “Not right now!”
Then
hung up.
Almost immediately, Barbie Girl was blasting out of that
fucking phone again. “What? Shit!” I screamed at the phone. “What is it?” I was
practically strangling the phone as if it was Niki’s tiny neck. My little
sister cleared her throat and then calmly said, “You didn’t say goodbye.” Penny
covered her mouth, but I could hear her snickering. “Ok Niki, goodbye, and
change my
ring tone
.” I growled.

           
“Oh ok. I’ll change it when I get around a computer. So
who is she?” I stared at my phone wishing I had a button that let me taze my
sister from long distance, but I tried to play it off. “Who is who?” Ok clearly
not my most suave moment, but playing dumb might save me a little face. “The
girl you talked all low and sexy to. I mean come on. She has to be something if
she already has you pulling out the Barry White voice. Come on! Tell your loving
sister what she’s like. Is she the gay one? Oh please let her be the gay one.
That would just be so awesome if the girl you had the hots for wanted me
instead. That’s like bragging rights forever.” I started to respond when Penny
interrupted, her voice gentle and seductive, almost musical, “I’m sorry to
disappoint you, but I prefer the firm masculine touch that only a man can
give.” My sister gave a loud squeak and then the phone went dead.

           
“Thanks.” I said, a little embarrassed by the
conversation. Penny’s voice returned to its normal tone, “That’s ok. I just
wanted to tell you that DD gave me the crossbow she made for me. I think it’ll
work, especially with that sight she installed. I wasn’t sure about how I’d use
it, but that sight almost completely takes aiming out of the equation. I think
it might work out really well.” I smiled, “That’s great. I didn’t realize she’d
finished it yet. So it doesn’t interfere with your sonar?” Penny shook her
head, “No, it’s great. I’m looking forward to trying it out on some live
targets. That should be interesting. Anyway, I wanted to catch you before
training to say thanks. I can’t say I liked the idea of someone coming in and
taking over the team, but you have some good ideas. I can see the potential.”

           
“I’m glad you approve, speaking of which. I wanted to
talk to you about being my second in command on the field. There’s going to be
times we might have to split into two groups, and it would be an honor if you’d
be my second. I need someone that I can count on to be in charge in case
something happens and we split up on the field or if I were to go down. I can’t
think of anyone I’d want handling those duties more than you. Also you might be
the only one here that can intimidate Alhambra, and keeping her in line is a serious
priority. ” Penny listened to my words carefully before responding, “I would
really enjoy that. I am very pleased that you think so highly of my abilities.”
Then her voice oozed pure seduction as she cooed, “I really look forward to
working under you.”

           
I know I said something, I mean my mouth was definitely
moving. I even heard some sounds, but my brain went to mush at that moment.
Penny apparently thought it was entertaining because she said, “You men, you’re
always so much more adorable when all that yummy blood just can’t quite reach
your brains. When you men get like this, I could just eat you right up.” She
was standing just inches from me. She leaned past my ear. I could feel her
breath on my neck. Penny‘s perfume smelled like roses. I mean it has to be her
perfume, nobody can just smell like that, or can they? “It’s just a shame that
I’m already full.” She whispered into my ear, and I just couldn’t move. More
importantly, I didn’t want to. At that moment she could have done anything she
wanted with me. All I could think of was her breath, her scent, and her hair
brushing against my cheek.

           
Penny’s hand traced my jaw line, “So who was she?” My
horny little brain barely focused long enough to gurgle out, “Niki” past my
drool. Finally, Penny pulled back, and I could start thinking again, but only
barely.
“You men, so predictable.
Over three hundred
years pass, and you all still think with your little heads.” Her words brought
a little clarity. I wanted to be angry, but considering I was still wiping the
drool from my mouth I figured I really didn’t have a leg to stand on, although
I now had a penis that I could hang upside down from. The zipper on my pants
was just barely holding together as I strained against it. “Pen…ny? I mean
Penny…thanks for your vote of confidence. I really hope I won’t disappoint you.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish getting ready. We have training, and
I still have some stuff to go over before I head out.” Ok I wussed out, in my
defense I couldn’t breathe, let alone think. Well I could think, but it was
pretty much just limited to activities like dry humping and motor
boating
her breasts. Even in my current state, I was sure
neither activity was acceptable. A man can hope though.

           
Penny moved to the door. I finally stammered, “Thanks
again with my sister.” Penny was slipping out the door when she responded,
“Don’t thank me yet. I only said I preferred the touch of a man. I never said I
wouldn’t make the occasional exception. See you in thirty minutes Grimmy.”
Penny closed the door on her way out, leaving me and my erection very confused.
I don’t know much, but I’m sure that tenth grade biology didn’t cover
situations like this in sex-ed. All I knew was after talking to Penny, I felt
like I’d just hit puberty again, and I was glad to have a half hour before
training started. I would need a few minutes of alone time to get a hold on
myself…literally.
 
Shit I’m still
drooling!