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Chapter 32.

The carriage Olivia had to use for the twins was the most unwieldy
antiquated thing she had ever seen, but Bertie had insisted on bringing
it from Croton. She'd had Donovan drive it down specially, and it was
huge, and had been hers and Victoria's, but despite their mother's
complaints, the twins looked very happy in it. The house had become too
small for them overnight too. The twins were sharing a room with Bertie,
and she and Charles had talked more than once about moving into her
father's home on lower Fifth Avenue. As far as Charles knew, it was hers
now. But Olivia knew it was her sister's, and didn't feel right moving
into it until she discussed it with Victoria when she got back from
Europe. The house she had inherited was in Croton, which was
magnificent, but far less useful. So for the moment, they were staying
where they were, and living in very tight quarters. She and Charles
could hear the babies cry at night, and Geoff was on top of them
constantly, usually with Chip, or even one of the neighbors' children.

It was beginning to drive Charles crazy.

And lately Olivia was having trouble sleeping and was very tired and
seemed to ache all over and she hoped she wasn't getting sick.

And as Olivia struggled with the huge pram on the front steps, she was
beginning to think Charles was right and they should move, and she'd
explain it to Victoria later.

"Can I help you with that? " a man in uniform said, and as she thanked
him and glanced up at him, she realized that he was holding a telegram
with her name on it, and she suddenly felt her heart stop.

She had had an odd feeling for days, and had finally convinced herself
she was just nervous from lack of sleep, trying to take care of two
babies.

"Is that for me? " she asked hoarsely.

"Victoria Dawson? " he asked pleasantly, and she nodded. "Yes it is.

" He handed it to her and had her sign for it, and then helped her get
the pram into the house, as her hands shook. She pushed the pram into
the front hall, with the babies still asleep in it, and ripped the
telegram open without waiting another minute, and she felt her heart
seize as though a steel vise had clamped around it. The words blurred
the moment she saw them. It was an official notice from a Sergeant
Morrison in France, attached to the Allied Forces. "Regret to inform
you, your sister, Olivia Henderson, has been injured in the line of
duty.

Stop.

Cannot be transferred. Stop. Gravely ill. Stop. Will advise you further
developments. Stop." And it was signed by a Sergeant Penelope Morrison
of the French Fourth Army, in charge of volunteers.

Victoria had never mentioned her before, but that was beside the point
now. She had been injured. Olivia stood crying in the front hall,
holding the telegram, unable to believe it. And yet she had sensed it.

The malaise she had felt had been far too easily explained by fatigue
from the babies.

But now she suddenly understood what she'd been feeling. Victoria had
been ill or injured.

Olivia was looking around her frantically, as Bertie came into the hall
from the kitchen, and knew instantly that something terrible had
happened.

"What is it? " She rushed toward the pram immediately, thinking it was
one of the babies.

"It's Victoria .. . she's hurt .. ."

"Oh my God .. . what'll you tell Charles? " She dared to use his first
name in his absence, although she never would have in his presence.

"I don't know, " Olivia said frantically, as they both took the sleeping
babies upstairs and laid them down in their cribs without waking them,
as Geoff came rushing up the stairs to do his home work.

But Olivia didn't say anything to him. She had to tell his father first,
and she had no idea where to begin, whether to tell him the whole truth,
or only half of it. But whatever she did, she had to do something. She
was going to go to her immediately, and whether or not he joined her was
up to him. But she was going. Nothing on this earth would have kept her
from it.

She was waiting for him in the living room when he came home late that
afternoon. She had been pacing there for more than two hours, and she
was beside herself with fear and worry.

He knew the moment he saw her face that something terrible had happened
that afternoon. She was deathly pale, and her hands were shaking as she
folded the dreaded telegram again and again, but like Bertie, he thought
it was one of his babies.

"Victoria, what is it? " She took a quick breath, and decided to only
tell him some of it.

She had been agonizing all afternoon about the decision. "It's my . , ,
sister.

"Olivia? Where is she? What happened? " He didn't understand what his
wife was saying.

"She's in Europe. And she's injured." It was actually easier than she
thought, now that she had started. But the whole truth never would be.

There would be no way to dress that one up in clean linens, and her
worst fear was that he'd divorce her. He didn't even have to. All he had
to do was throw her out. She wasn't even sure that, under the
circumstances, he'd have to give her the babies, or even let her visit
them. But this was not about them right now, not yet, this was about her
sister.

"She's in Europe? " He looked totally lost as he sat down and stared at
her. What's she doing there? "

"She's been driving for the Allied Forces, and she's been wounded, "
Olivia said, sitting down across from him, and looking at him with
terror. He was beginning to realize that there had been some deception
here, and suddenly he knew it.

"Did you know about this? " he asked, searching her eyes, wondering if
she had lied to him, and her father, and when he asked her, she nodded.

"How could she do a thing like that? Was she there all this time?

" Olivia nodded again, terrified at what else he would guess, but the
rest was so outrageous there was no way he could divine it. It had all
gone much too far in the past thirteen months and she knew it. She
wondered if Victoria knew it too now, and was sorry about it. Thirteen
months was a long time to carry on a deception and switch lives. It far
exceeded their bargain. But she had far exceeded hers too, and she knew
it. "Why didn't you say anything, Victoria? " Suddenly her sister's name
rang in her ears like an accusation, but it was too late to change it,
and she answered him without flinching.

"She didn't want anyone to know. She wanted to do this desperately,
Charles. I didn't think it was fair to stop her."

"Fair? Do you think it was fair of her to run out on your father like
that? For God's sake, it killed him." Olivia's eyes filled with tears
when he said it. "That wasn't the only thing, and we don't know that.

He'd had a weak heart for years.

" She tried to defend herself but he looked unimpressed and angry.

"I'm sure that didn't help it, " he said sternly, appalled at "Olivia's"
wanton deception.

"Probably not, " the real Olivia said weakly, feeling like a murderess,
although her charade had convinced her father he'd seen her at his
deathbed, but it was small comfort.

"I could have understood you doing something crazy like that, in the old
days, when you were all involved in politics and radical ideas, but
Olivia .. . I just can't understand it."

"And if I'd gone? " she asked gently, as he smiled ruefully.

"I'd have killed you. I'd have dragged you back by the hair, and locked
you in the attic." Perhaps he should have. But it would have taken that
to get her back there. And then he looked at her more seriously.

What are you going to do now? " he asked, expecting her to go to the
French Consulate or the Red Cross, and see what could be done to help
her.

"Is she badly hurt? "

"I don't know. I'm not sure. The telegram says gravely ill." She looked
at him very hard then, and told him the truth this time.

But he couldn't stop her. "Charles, I'm going."

"You're what? " He was outraged. "There's a war in Europe and you have
three children to take care of."

"She's my sister, " she said, and to her it spoke volumes, but he was
livid.

"No, she's not, she's your twin and I know what that means. It means you
drop everything for her every time you have a headache and think she's
sending you a message. Well, I'm not putting up with it.

She may be your twin, but I'm forbidding you to go to her, do you hear
me?

You're staying right here where you belong and not running halfway
around the world to rescue a woman who dumped her entire family a year
ago to run off to do God knows what in Europe. You're not going, " he
said in a voice she had never heard before, as he stood in their living
room and shouted. But she looked at him with eyes he'd never seen before
either.

"Nothing you do will stop me, Charles. I am getting on a ship the first
day I can this week, and I am going to her, whether you like it or not.

My children will be safe here. I am going to my sister."

"I've lost one wife on the high seas, " he shouted at her as the rest of
the household pretended not to hear them, but it was impossible not to,
"and goddamn it, Victoria, I'm not going to lose another." There were
tears in his eyes and on his cheeks as he shouted at her, both in rage
and terror.

"I'm sorry, Charles." Olivia said quietly this time, "I'm going to her.

And if you want to, I'd like you to come with me."

"And what if we both die? What if we both get torpedoed on the way
there? Who will take care of our children? We have three of them to
think of now.

Have you even thought of that? "

"Then stay here, " she said sadly, "they'll have you." They probably
wouldn't have her anyway once he threw her out and wouldn't let her see
them. It was all she could imagine now, and as she held them in her arms
that night, she ached at the thought of never holding them again, but
she knew she had to go to Victoria. Every ounce of her being and
intuition said so.

She put Geoff to bed that night, and he had heard the argument and
looked very worried. "It's Victoria, isn't it? " he whispered and she
nodded. "Does Dad know now? "

"No, " she whispered, "and you mustn't tell him. I have to see her
first, and then we'll tell him together.

But I want to talk to her."

"Do you think she'll be mad about the babies? " he asked wistfully and
she kissed him again.

"Of course not, she'll love them." She tried to sound calmer than she
felt. Inside, she was frantic with terror for her sister.

"But will you stay with us when she comes back? You belong here now, "
he said insistently and she smiled at him. She only hoped that Victoria
would be coming back, whether to this house or not, no one knew now.

"That's why I have to go to Europe, to talk to her and make sure she's
all right, and work all these things out with her."

"Will she die? " He looked suddenly surprised and a little frightened.

"Of course not, " she said, wishing she believed it. Oh God ...
please, please don't let her die, she said to herself that night over
and over as she lay in bed, next to Charles. For a long time, he said
nothing to her, and then he rolled over in their bed and looked at her.

Olivia couldn't read what he was thinking.

"I always knew you were stubborn, even when I married you. But if you
insist on going, Victoria, I'll go with you." She was stunned, but
relieved. Going to war-torn Europe without him would have been
terrifying, and she was grateful that he'd do it.