Mosaic (18 page)

But Julian was different. He wasn’t the same as his brothers, and I had to believe that meant our future would be different. Still, with my uncertain plans hanging over us, I couldn’t completely shake the tiny possibility his brother could be right.

Anna’s Private Blog: March Lions

Will’s words hung like a dark cloud over my head as I returned to New Orleans, and they continued troubling me through the rest of February. It was silly, I told myself. What could he do to hurt Julian and me? But no matter how hard I tried to dismiss him, his cruel threat lingered like a cut that wouldn’t heal.

The only thing that took my mind off it (besides Julian) was working on the Algiers project for my photojournalism course. Saturday morning, I headed out as usual toward the Quarter, but today I had only planned to be there for less than an hour. I was supposed to be meeting the rest of my group members at the ferry to cross over and get some interviews on the street.

Winter was mild this year, but the morning air was chilly. I was wearing a Northface jacket one of my Indiana relatives had sent me for Christmas. It was never cold enough for it, but I tried to work it into my wardrobe.

After hopping off the streetcar and stopping for my coffee from Pierre, I headed up the levee to my usual spot. Summer was not around this morning, thankfully, and I figured it was too cold for her to be following me out, annoying me.

Dampness made the air feel colder than it was, and I stood for a second looking out over the brown waters. Crosscurrents zigzagged across the center, and I thought of all the boat traffic that passed through here on a daily basis.

Instead of taking my usual seat, I decided to stroll down the levee as I sipped my warm beverage. I’d only taken a few steps when I saw a man hunched on one of the benches. He wasn’t exactly hunched, more slumped over with the collar of his coat turned up around his ears. He appeared to be passed out, and I was about to hurry by when he made a noise. Stopping was not in the plan, but I couldn’t help a glance. When I did I almost dropped my camera.

“Jack?” All hesitation gone, I hurried to him and pushed him back, straighter on the bench. “Jack, what are you doing out here? Were you sleeping?”

He groaned again, and a bitter stench of alcohol hit me right in the face. It turned my stomach. “Jack!” I shook him, but he didn’t respond. His chin dropped to his chest. “You have to wake up!”

His head wagged side to side for a moment, and then he straightened clumsily. “Anna?”

He frowned, but didn’t focus on me. He couldn’t seem to focus on anything. His face was pale, and his thin body shook in my hands. I let him go and he slumped over again.

Chewing my lip, I looked up and down the path I’d taken. Nobody was around to help me. I couldn’t leave him here, but who could I call? Rachel and Brad were in Baton Rouge for the weekend, and Will was not an option, even if I had his number.

The only thing I knew to do was call 911. I caught Jack’s cheeks and tried to get him to look at me again.

“Jack?” My voice was loud. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to call EMS.”

He didn’t respond, and Lucy’s words were ringing in my ears. I’d promised her I’d help him. So with shaking fingers, I pulled out my phone.

* * *

Almost a year had passed since the last time I’d been in a hospital waiting nervously to hear if a friend would be okay, but it was all came back as vividly as if it has been yesterday.

I’d called Lucy, but it would be another hour before she arrived. The doctors wouldn’t tell me anything, since I wasn’t next of kin, but they were at least being friendly. For a moment, I considered lying and saying he was my husband, but that had major backfire potential. So I sat in the waiting room and bided my time, praying.

Lucy texted from a rest stop to say she was halfway here, and I let her know I hadn’t heard anything. I put my phone back in my pocket and paced the hall. I was about to give up, when a blonde nurse walked up to me.

“Miss Sanders?” She looked down at the clipboard she carried.

I jumped up and went to her. “It’s Anna!”

Her smile was warm. “Hi, Anna. I’m Celeste, your friend’s nurse. I understand you brought him in?”

“Yes,” I nodded rapidly as I spoke. “I found him out on the levee. I-I don’t know how he got there or how long—”

“It appeared he’d been in the elements all night. He was in an advanced state of hypothermia, and his blood-alcohol content was point four.”

“I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “I don’t know what that means.”

“It means he was going into shock and potential alcohol poisoning.” Her warmth had morphed into more of a stern admonishment. “Your friend has a serious problem.”

My lip pulled between my teeth. “I knew he’d been drinking a lot. He’s not really my friend. He’s my ex-boyfriend. Sort of.” The details of Jack’s and my bizarre connection weren’t pertinent to what was going on here. “What happens now? Is there anything we can do?”

The sternness had faded as I explained our connection. “He’s actually awake now and asking for you.”

I blinked several times as I took in what she’d just said. “So… he’s okay now?”

“Far from it, Miss Sanders.” She glanced at the clipboard she carried. “I have several recommendations at this point I’ll discuss when his family arrives, but you can see him now.”

“Thank you.” I was breathless, and I wasn’t exactly sure what I was thanking Nurse Celeste for, but I took off in the direction of Jack’s room.

Stopping just before I entered, I took a deep breath and collected myself, but nothing prepared me for what I saw when I pushed through the door. Lying in a hospital bed, he was thin and vulnerable with wires attached to his arms and machines monitoring his vitals. His eyes were closed, but he must’ve heard me enter. They blinked open, tired and defeated, and he struggled to sit up.

“Anna, hey.” Even his voice was changed.

I went quickly to his bedside and took his hand. It was all so horrible, the only thing I could think was to try and be light. “Hey, yourself. Don’t you have a bed to sleep in?”

He managed a weak smile. “I didn’t feel like going home.”

Or you forgot where home was
, I thought.

Still going for light. “You’re a good-looking guy. You couldn’t find somewhere warm to sleep besides a park bench?”

His expression grew still, and I felt him withdraw. It killed all the easygoing feeling I was trying for. “Oh, Jack.” I leaned forward, squeezing his hand. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

His thumb moved back and forth over my hand. “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just… I didn’t feel like going home. That’s all.”

“But why? Is it because of Will? Did he say something to you?” As angry as I was at his brother, I was just waiting for an excuse to confront him, to prove he was no better than me. But Jack didn’t answer that question.

Instead his tone shifted. “Remember when we were in school?” His voice was so resigned it hurt my heart. “Those early days before I came to New Orleans?”

“Yeah?” I nodded, studying his face.

“You used to look at me like…”

I squeezed his hand, worry tightening my stomach. “Like what?”

He exhaled a bitter laugh and didn’t meet my eyes. “Like I was so special.”

My brows pulled together. It was true. I did. “You are special. Whatever you saw was only your reflection in my eyes.”

Leaning his head back on the pillow, he laughed a little more. “Oh, god, Anna. I’m not special. I’m an asshole.”

Somehow I always managed to get myself into these situations where my qualifications were no match for what the people needed. So I just spoke the facts. “Well, you did kind of yank my chain one too many times, but that didn’t make you less special. That just made me sort of… an idiot.”

He slid down in the bed again and looked at me. Deep in his eyes was that same old expression that used to slay me—sexy and slightly mischievous. In that moment, I knew he was still in there. He wasn’t beyond saving. The question was, could I handle being the one to save him or did I need to pass that baton to someone else?

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was a stupid kid, and I didn’t know how to handle… this.”

“It looks to me like you still don’t know how to handle whatever
this
is.”

His eyes flashed to mine with a look I’d never seen before. It was like respect, and it caused an unexpected tingle in my midsection. “Don’t try to save me, Anna. I’m not worth it.”

“Are you seriously saying that shit to me? Say something like that again, and I’ll kick you in the nards.”

Silence filled the room, and I was afraid I’d gone too far. Until he laughed—so loud it rang off the walls. My head dropped forward, and I laughed, too. And in that moment, I confess, I was proud of myself. I took a deep inhale and straightened up. I could help him, but if I did, I’d have to be as strong as him. I couldn’t be old Anna anymore. I
wasn’t
old Anna anymore.

“Anna Sanders,” he breathed. “I could kiss you right now.”

I leaned away, still smiling. “You just try it.”

Where this sudden surge of empowerment came from, I had no idea, but I liked it. We laughed again until he put a hand over his face and exhaled a groan. “I think dating my little brother has been good for you.”

“Dating Julian has definitely been good for me, but back to you. Tell me what
this
is all about.”

A few seconds ticked past. The vulnerability, that strange weakness was back, but it seemed he was making a decision to let me in. I had no idea if I was prepared for what he might say or to give the right answer, but I said a silent prayer I wouldn’t let him down.

I never got the chance, because the door flew open, and a streak of blonde shot into the room.

“Jack!” Lucy flew to his bedside and hugged him. “Oh, honey. Everything’s going to be fine. Don’t worry about a thing.” She leaned back and smoothed his messy bangs off his forehead, and I remembered when I used to do that. “We’ll have you out of here and home before the close of business today.”

“Lucy.” Jack caught her hands in his. “It’s okay. I’m not in jail.”

He might not have noticed, but I saw her tremble. I also recognized something I never saw in Lucy—fear. She’d been afraid this was coming for months, and now it was here.

At the same time, I remembered being in a similar situation with her, Jack flying to her side. I’d been shut out of the hospital on that particular occasion, but her rock bottom had looked a lot like his. It was probably best to let them work it out privately.

“I’ll go ahead and take off now.” I backed to the door, but Jack sat up.

“Hang on.” His earnest tone startled me. It seemed to startle Lucy as well. She shot me a pleading glance, so I stopped.

“Um…” I wasn’t sure what he wanted. His sister was here now. “I kind of need to get back. I was supposed to meet some classmates to work on a project today.”

“Right.” He was faltering about something, but I couldn’t tell what. “We’ll talk soon, okay?”

“Oh.”
Talk about being put on the spot!
Seeing Jack again did not feel like the best idea. “I… uh… sure. I mean, okay. If you need to.”

He seemed to relax, and Lucy was still holding his hand. She lifted it and pressed her lips against it briefly. “Be right back, okay?” Then she headed in my direction and pulled me out the door.

“Oh my god, thank you so much, Anna.” Throwing her arms around my neck, I could feel her shaking. “I can’t even think what might’ve happened if you—”

“It’s okay! Thank God I go out there every Saturday.”

She straightened up and pushed her tears away. “It’s like a miracle. You’re our angel or something.”

My smile was more of a squint. Julian had called me his angel, but I refused to look at myself as some sort of Kyser-family supernatural being.

“I think it was more just a lucky coincidence. New Orleans isn’t really that big if you think about where everybody tends to go.”

“Well, I don’t care what you say, you saved him, and I’m forever grateful.”

I didn’t want to point out that he wasn’t out of the woods yet, so I gave her a quick hug. “Okay. I’ve got to get back now.”

She gave me a quick hug back. “I’ll call you soon about the wedding plans.”

“Sounds great.”

I left her and her brother to take care of themselves. It had always been that way with them, and it would go on being that way. It wasn’t my business. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

Anna’s Private Blog: The Reason

Julian’s voice was always optimistic when we talked. He was working so hard and learning his dad’s business so fast, it reminded me of the journals I’d read so long ago.

“You’ve really found your passion.” I lay on my bed looking at him on my computer screen. His head was rested on his hand, and his dark hair hung in his eyes.

“I found my passion a few years ago.” His blue eyes twinkled, and I reached out to touch his face on the screen. “But if I have to work, architecture is really cool.”