Mosaic (21 page)

Finally it was time to drive home. Rachel kept talking as we crossed the miles from New Orleans to Fairview, but I wasn’t listening. I was counting down the hours until I’d see him again.

Since we weren’t communicating, I didn’t know when he’d be in town, but I planned to drive to Peninsula Avenue as soon as I got home and bang on the door until he saw me. I didn’t expect his car not to be there.

He didn’t come home.

At all of the pre-wedding events, Lucy was radiant and glowing, so happy. Every time she’d ask me about Julian, I would only smile and shrug, trying to make up some excuse that might sound plausible. She had way too much on her plate this weekend because every time, she’d frown and let it go. Any other time, we’d have been having a coffee-shop pow-wow.

So we had our wedding party event, then we had rehearsal dinner. The bridesmaids, which included Summer and Renee planned a bachelorette, but I made an excuse. I couldn’t take any more questioning from Lucy about where Julian was, and even worse, there was no way I was hanging out with Renee Barron all night if he really had asked her to be his date.

I spent the night home, alone. I wanted to call Gabi and get some friendly reassurance, but I was actually afraid she’d tell me it was my fault. I should’ve told him right away about Jack taking me to dinner and the kiss.

He was still dealing with the fallout of his dad’s revelation, with realizing what his parents’ affair had meant for his new sibling group, how his creation had shredded their young lives. I didn’t want to add to his stress, and I really wanted to be face to face, in person when we talked, when I confessed and then begged for forgiveness.

It was all my stupid pride. Jack had finally said all the things I’d always wanted him to say. He’d finally validated all those times I’d taken him back, and I was such a stupid little girl, for a moment I’d lost track of what was most important—Julian and me. Nothing else mattered.

Now he wasn’t here, he wouldn’t talk to me, and I had no way of knowing if he was even coming. Why was he staying away? He said he’d be at the wedding. He had to give me a chance to explain.

* * *

Lucy’s wedding day was gorgeous. Spring break is hard to predict in South County—it can either be cold and rainy or sunny and breezy. This day was the latter. Flawless.

The ceremony was to take place on the large flagstone balcony that led off the downstairs living room. It was a large space that looked out over Bayou Saint John toward Evangeline. Since I was one of the bridesmaids, I’d arrived early to get ready and help Lucy with whatever she needed.

My hair was blown out straight, and the bubble-skirts on the coral bridesmaids dresses we all wore were thigh length. Each of us had the choice of strapless, one-shoulder strap, or two narrow straps. I went with the latter. Rachel had opted for the one-shoulder strap, but of course Renee went strapless. One swift pull and her top would be down, her stupid perfect boobs popping out. I couldn’t even let my mind go there.

Julian apparently had arrived during the night. I couldn’t breathe when I pulled into the circular driveway and saw his car. I’d have run into the house to tear the place apart until I found him if Summer hadn’t intercepted me.

“Excited for the big day?” She was back to airhead voice. “Lucy’s dress is so gorgeous. By the way, we missed you last night. Did you beg off so you could spend it with Julian?”

My mouth dropped open. I was about to say no, but I knew she’d ask why. I didn’t want Julian’s and my problem to be the focus of the day. Lucy and Robert were that.

Instead I shook my head. “No.” I gently rubbed the front of my neck. “My throat’s been so sore. I might have a virus, and I don’t want to get Lucy sick on her wedding day.”

“That would be the ultimate party pooper! Can you imagine? Sick on your honeymoon?”

Nodding, I touched my throat again as if it hurt. I wasn’t lying. The sight of Julian’s car had my neck muscles so tight, I was afraid I’d burst into tears at any moment. At least it was normal to cry at weddings.

We went inside, and all the girls were holding mimosas. Lucy hustled up to me in that gorgeous dress. It was off-white strapless and form-fitted all the way to the floor with a soft-white tulle overlay accented with tiny clusters of seed pearls. Her hair hung down her back in soft waves, and a slim silver headband accented with crystals would hold her veil. She was stunning. “Where have you been? I was sure we’d have morning coffee together since my little brother finally showed up!”

I could feel Renee’s eyes burning into my back, so I continued the lie. “Sore throat,” I whispered, touching the front of my neck.

“Oh no! How awful!” She started to hug me, but I pulled back waving as if to preserve her health. “Do you even want a mimosa?”

“Better not.” I continued whispering.

“Darn.” She air-kissed me and headed back to her seat in front of the mirror.

The other girls were at varying stages of ready. I’d arrived dressed, so I didn’t need to do anything. Instead, I went to where Rachel was finishing up her makeup and slipped between an armoire and her mirror, partially hidden.

“Love your hair like that.” She gave me a quick glance and finished applying her mascara. “You’re claiming sickness?”

She and I were the only ones who knew the real truth. Well, and possibly Renee if she was truly Julian’s date. At this point, she hadn’t made a move toward me. She was helping Lucy fasten the pins that would hold the delicate veil at the top of her head.

“I don’t know where he is.” My voice was low, as I tried to avoid notice. “He must’ve driven in last night, but he’s either with the guys or in his room.”

Rachel packed her makeup bag and glanced around to where Renee and Lucy. “Let’s slip out. See what we might find.”

Nodding, I followed her out the side door. Drinks were going around, and the other girls didn’t seem to notice us leave. The small room we were in was just off the balcony. When the wedding march began, Lucy would emerge from the glass French doors right into the aisle between the chairs. We were all expected to assemble at the front when the first piece of music began.

“There’s Brad.” Rachel took my arm and led me through the guests to where he stood with Jack.

I noticed Jack’s eyebrows rise in my peripheral vision, but I didn’t make eye contact.

“Hey, babe.” Brad kissed his girlfriend when we approached. “You look hot. Hey, Anna.”

I nodded, hoping he’d say something about Julian. He didn’t. Any more of this pressure, and I was sure I’d lose it. More of the bridesmaids were spilling out onto the balcony area, and wedding guests were taking their seats.

Lucy had included Ms. LaSalle in her wedding arrangements, seating her where the mothers were traditionally placed. Mr. Kyser stood down front talking to her, and I could tell by his expression he was in heaven. Lucy’s embrace of Julian’s mother had gone a long way toward healing her relationship with her father. During the last few days, the sight of him smiling at his daughter and lavishing praise on her made me so happy, but it wasn’t the sight I longed to see.

Once again, I turned and scanned the room, sweeping past the guests, past the columns of flowers, to the back and down front again. I was just checking the other side when a pair of blue eyes stopped my heart.

He was there, gorgeous in a tux, and standing with his back to a column that held more roses. He didn’t acknowledge me. I wasn’t sure if he even saw me, but just then my question about Renee was answered. She crossed the room quickly to where he stood and threw her arms around his neck. His hands held her waist, and my stomach cramped so hard, I had to find the nearest exit.

Tears were coming fast as I ran through into the enormous living room, taking the first door I saw. It was another room I’d never been in before. Elegantly decorated in sky blue and white with lace curtains, it had several pristine wood and silk chairs arranged in half the space. Several end tables with Tiffany lamps on them were dotted throughout, and in the back corner near the window was a large piano. As far as I knew, no one in the family played, and I wondered why this room was designed like a private concert space.

I walked to the back and sat on the piano bench, propping my elbows on the closed keyboard. Tears spilled over from my eyes, but I tried to catch them with my fingertips. It was too early to be crying for the wedding, and my carefully applied makeup would be spoiled. I had to get control of myself or everyone would know what had happened.

We’d broken up, and now Julian was inside with Renee. The sight of her hanging on his arm like the green-eyed spider she’d always been pulverized the pain beating in my chest.

“You look very beautiful today.” Jack had followed me. He crossed the room at a leisurely pace and sat on the bench beside me with his back against the keyboard.

It didn’t make any sense for me to push him away now, but I really didn’t want to discuss it with anybody. So I tried to joke.

“I’d return the compliment, but you look great every day.”

“Already crying for Lucy? I think B.J.’s going to work out after all.”

“Robert.” I corrected then shook my head. “I’m not crying for them. He’s perfect for Lucy.”

“So why the tears? My little brother getting you down again?”

I looked away and Jack handed me a small cloth. I glanced back and took it from him. “Wow. You had a hankie?”

“There was one on that little table.” He pointed across the room.

“What is this place?”

“I guess our conservatory? Music room, maybe? From what I’ve been told, Mom was into all that kind of stuff when they were building.”

“She had very refined tastes.”

“Hm.” Jack looked down. Then he grinned. “So if he’s going to keep running back to Renee, you should start running back to me.”

The words burned in my chest. “Is he with Renee?”

“Hell, I don’t know. But she’s always ready to play catch.”

“I hate her.”

He laughed out loud then. I winced at the noise, but I was glad he was laughing. It meant he was getting better. “Still holding out for him?”

I nodded.

“In that case, we could just what? Practice? Keep those pretty lips warm?”

My eyes narrowed. “You know me better than that.”

“I’m just saying. If he’s going to break up with you for kissing me, we should make it count.”

“How did you know—”

“What else could he possibly be angry at you for?” He leaned in closer to my mouth, but I stood up and went to the window.

“Not everyone cries after I kiss them, you know.”

I never did before Julian…
I looked back at his perfectly handsome face. “Lucy got a beautiful day for her wedding.”

He stood and crossed the room to where I stood. I turned and looked out the window across the water, and he slid my hair back, kissing the base of my neck at the top of my shoulder. A charge moved down my back.

“Please stop.” My voice was a whisper.

He smiled. “Just testing the waters.”

“I’m not interested.”

“Julian’s an idiot.”

My insides flashed. “You’re one to talk. You broke up with me over a kiss.”

He exhaled and looked out the window. “You had a problem picking sides, but it was more than that.”

“No, it was just a kiss.”

“Several kisses and you getting all steamed up about Renee and then spending the night in the hospital with him. Jesus, Anna. I didn’t have to get hit over the head.”

“I was committed to us.”

“And you were in love with him. I didn’t have time for that. Not that year.”

I looked down. “I’m sorry.”

It was strange to be talking about those days with all that had happened. He’d told me a lot since that day in the hospital, but I still didn’t know what demons he’d been battling in New Orleans. I know all of that year was wrapped up in whatever it was.

“Well, don’t beat yourself up about it now.” He pulled me into his arms. “I told you, I’m willing to give it another shot—”

I pushed back. “I’m still in love with him.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“Stop saying that.”

“It’s the truth.”

“I can always count on you to defend me.” Julian’s loud voice made me gasp. I turned my back to the window, my heart thudding.
This was not what it looked like…
Julian wasn’t smiling, and Jack slid his hands into his pockets, heading for the door.

“So, Jules,” he said in passing, “where’d Renee get to?”

“I don’t care.” Julian hadn’t taken his eyes from mine, and I was having difficulty breathing.

Jack chuckled. “In that case, I’ll see if I can’t find her.”

He left the room, but all I could see was Julian. Even without a smile, he was so handsome. I’d missed him so much. I would’ve done anything he said in that moment. Instead, he just walked to the window and stood beside me looking out.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was listening.”

I nodded, expecting as much.

“I never thought I’d agree with my brother.”