My Blue River (41 page)

“Get ready to dominate some more. I plan to see you as much as I can over the few months.”

Jack smiled broadly. “I like that idea.”

Mom hollered in a sing-song voice, “Goodnight, Jack!”

“That sounded very much like she’d like me to go home now”

“Yep. Guess that’s your cue to leave,” I reluctantly agreed.

I turned to go but in three steps, I realized I didn’t get something I needed, so I took three steps back.

“I need my kiss.”

“But… your mom,” he protested.

“What about her? I’m pretty sure she knows what a kiss is…so come on and kiss me, cowboy.”

It was getting dark but I could tell he was blushing. He submitted to my request and lightly kissed me.

“Hmm…that’ll do…for now. ‘Night, Jack.”

“’Night, Addy.”

When I reached the porch, Mom stood waiting. I met her gaze. “Hey, Mom. How about we have some tea and talk?”

She looked irritated and opened her mouth to protest, as if she had already prepared a lecture in response to the words I didn’t say. Her mouth snapped shut. She not only looked surprised, but touched. A lone tear came to her eye. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

We talked for what seemed like forever. At times we held hands. At times we cried. She was actually very helpful. It made me wonder how many other important lessons I had missed out on because I’d been too stubborn to listen to her. It made me wonder why I had ever wanted to just forget what happened with Harrison and never speak of it again, or how I thought I could move past that in a healthy way.
It would have haunted me forever.

We said good-night and I promised we would have breakfast at Emmy’s in the morning. I used the last ounce of energy left in my body to climb the creaky, old stairs, grinning the entire way. I didn’t realize how much I had needed my Mom and it tugged at my heart. I somehow knew from now on, we would each try harder.

********

As promised, I rose early to have breakfast with my parents. This being an adult thing was becoming a habit and if it made the next three months easier, I would do my best to continue maturing.

I actually looked forward to seeing Aaron. I found him plugged into his iPod at the breakfast bar, eating a bowl of cereal. I threw my arms around him and kissed his cheek.

“EW! Dude, that’s gross!” he furiously wiped my kiss away with one hand and pulled the headphones from his ears with the other.

“Oh, stop it. I’m your sister.”

“Exactly. That’s messed up.”

I took a seat on the stool next to him. “So.” I leaned closer and whispered. “How’s Misty? You get the nerve to ask her out yet?”

“Nope.” He refused to look up at me.

“Oh, come on.” I watched him eat for a while then asked, “So, how you doing with…” I mimicked taking a drag off a joint.

He raised his hand and showed a sign of “so-so.”

“Hmm…well, keep working on it.” I clapped him on the shoulder. “Gotta go. I’ve got a breakfast date with Mom and Dad.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks. I’m sure I’ll need it.”

I found my parents rocking on the front porch swing, reading their books.

“Hey, I thought we were doing breakfast together this morning.” I asked.

“Oh, you were serious?” replied Mom.

They exchanged a look that said, “Who is this person and what has she done with our daughter?”

“Well, I was serious and I’m starving. I’ve actually been missing Emmy’s,” I announced.

They both still continued to stare in disbelief.

“Well, come on! Get your keys, chop-chop,” I demanded as I shooed them out of the swing.

Dad rose first, “Guess we’d best get down to Emmy’s.”

Mom finally recovered from the shock and got up, too.

Aaron declined our invitation to breakfast. His bowl of cereal had been sufficient. I suspected he didn’t exactly want to spend time with us adults. I smirked.
I’m an adult; he isn’t
. It was a pleasing thought. Then I laughed at myself.
It’s silly I found that pleasing
.

“Should we have invited Jack?” asked Dad.

“Could I please have some time alone with my daughter?” replied Mom. There was a hard edge in her voice.

As I watched Mom’s face contort, stopping short of fury, I replied, “No, Dad, that’s okay. I’ll see Jack later. It’s okay, really.”

My mom’s face relaxed. She even smiled a little that I took her side for once.

I couldn’t help but think of how difficult it must have been for her to hear her daughter had been assaulted—a scenario that easily could have led to rape. I honestly couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to be her. I felt sad and tried to see her view as a mother.

We made small talk on the ten-minute ride to Emmy’s Bakery and Café, which was right in the middle of town on Blue River’s main street. If I were to be honest, Emmy’s food was so good that it rivaled many of the bakeries I had been to in California. She wasn’t a trained chef but certainly cooked like one.

The restaurant had a country style motif. Plaid baby blue curtains adorned the windows. Every day, Emmy would put a fresh flower on each table. Emmy had worked out an arrangement with the new florist in town, Whitney, who exchanged flowers for baked goods to sell at a higher price in her flower shop. I still remembered being a little surprised that a Greenhouse and Floral shop had opened up by the high school.

We settled into a booth and looked over the menu. Once we placed our orders, Mom couldn’t resist asking the question I knew she’d been wondering all along.

“So, are we back together with Jackson?” she asked, trying to sound pleasant about a subject I knew irritated her.

“Well,
we
didn’t date Jack.
I
dated Jack.” I couldn’t resist a sharp response, but I caught myself and dialed back the sarcasm. I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know, Mom. We just plan to enjoy each other’s company for the summer.”

“I see,” Mom replied.

So much for last night’s bonding.

“Mom, do you like Jack?” I asked. It seemed unlikely she didn’t like him. I didn’t know
anyone
who didn’t like Jackson Cooper. Asking her a direct question seemed necessary.

“It’s not about whether I like Jack or not, Adelaide. I just think a man with goals would be better for you. Besides, you’re both still very young.”

“Excuse me?” I asked in disbelief. “You’re the one who moved me here. You didn’t think it was within the realm of possibility that I would meet someone I liked—maybe even loved? Jack is an amazing person, Mom, and by the way, he has goals.”

“I haven’t heard of any lately,” she retorted.

Dad cut in, “I think…” His interruption failed.

“Besides, I am nineteen. I’m an adult who can make her own decisions,” I snapped.

“Yes. You are an adult, but nineteen is still too young for a serious relationship. Besides, you have many goals to complete before marriage,” Mom declared.

“There are a lot of married students at college. A lot of couples make it work,” I insisted.

“Not everyone and it’s a hard life,” said Mom. She bit her lower lip and peered at the window. Her face became very sad.
What’s that about?

I decided to dismiss her odd behavior. “Jack and I aren’t talking about marriage anyway, so just…relax, okay?”

Mom return from wherever her mind had gone. “I remember a certain young lady saying each and every day that she wouldn’t date anyone from a…what was it you called it? A one horse town? All you talked about was leaving…and that’s
while
you were dating Jack.”

“Whatever, Mom.” I picked up a menu and held it front of my face so I wouldn’t have to look at her. “Quit worrying about it. You can freak out in August if you see a ring on my finger.”

“Adelaide, you could try being serious for once,” Mom said sternly.

I pulled down the menu. “Actually, I’m being quite serious. Never know. I may talk Jack into moving to California and he’s a bit old fashioned. He won’t go if we’re not married.” I was telling the truth. There was no way Jack would live with me if we weren’t married.

“Addy!” Mom scolded.

Dad finally manage to interject, “Uh, ladies, you’re making a scene. Could you please save this conversation for another time? Let’s just enjoy breakfast.”

“Excuse me. I need to use the restroom.” Mom stomped away from the booth.

As my dad reached across the table and patted my left hand, “By the way, if my little princess has already found her prince, then she should just go for it.”

“Ah, thanks for the support, Dad, but I’m just trying to freak mom out. I seriously doubt Jack and I will even get back together or that I’ll talk him into moving. That’s the only way I see it working.”

I wanted to confess that Jack had actually thought about going to California, but something in the pit of my stomach said it would never happen. I wasn’t convinced he would ever leave Montana. I wanted nothing more than for us to get back together. I wanted Jack to move to California and for us to live happily ever after like any good princess should. Maybe I wasn’t a good enough princess to get my wish.

Dad now reached out for both of my hands. “Addy. Look at me. I’ll admit that young love doesn’t always work. The maturity isn’t quite there yet, and you really need to know a person first. Plus, when two people get married there are the difficulties of financial considerations. In all honesty, for some couples certain hurdles are just too high to leap over, but strong love—great love—can survive great challenges. I have a feeling Jack is
your
great love. Don’t let him be the one who got away. Trust me. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

I gulped. I wasn’t sure if we were still talking about me and Jack, but I knew I didn’t want the answer to that question. Sometimes parental secrets were best left secrets. It was like knowing your parents must still have sex, but hating that knowledge at the same time.

Before dad could finish his homily, Mom returned to the booth. Our food arrived in almost the same instant. We tried to discuss anything other than Jack, which led to a conversation about Aaron. Apparently he wasn’t doing very well. They exchanged a few barbed words, and the tension was strong between them as we discussed Aaron’s behavior so I threw myself on the sword, so to speak, and changed the subject. I started to talk about Harrison. They seemed relieved by my change in topic.

I never dreamed I would be discussing nearly getting raped over breakfast in a small town café with my parents. At the end of the day, I was glad I had that time with them and that we’d all been so open and honest with our feelings. It made me realize our trio was a healthier relationship than I originally thought, even during Mom’s moments of need to control.
It did feel good to just let it all out there
. I reflected on her earlier expression that seemed so sad and wondered what she was keeping in her head and heart.
It isn’t healthy for her to keep a secret either
.

********

I couldn’t breathe. It felt like a ton of bricks had just fallen on my chest. I spit a mouthful of dirt onto the ground. The pain was excruciating. I was being crushed as I clutched my chest
. When I woke up, I was sweaty, full of anxiety, and screaming, “Jack!”