My Forever (33 page)

I get
a text
from Leigh.
We’re on our way home from Utah. T
ext the address
,
and we’ll pick you up around noon.

I’m elated. They know where I am, I’m on their way home
,
and I don’t have to ride the bus.

The morning is filled with Grandpa yelling at his football team, Grandma tip toeing around me, probably hoping I don’t ask any more questions
,
and me wishing I could disappear.

I see the Wright’s car exactly when Leigh said. Leigh gets out
,
and I open the front door to show her I’m coming.

“Who are these friends of yours?” Grandma asks.

This is as good a time as any to tell her. “They’re the people who adopted my baby girl.”

She turns white.

“If you want to see her, she’s in the back of their car.
”
My grandpa pretends not to hear and turns the page of his newspaper. I walk around to give him a hug, whether he wants one or not.
I get a slight smile in return
. It’s something.

“I’ll see you soon, Grandpa.”
But probably not.

“See you, Danielle.”

I walk out the door. It’s a relief. But also gives me that heavy feeling that’s become so familiar.

Leigh is politely chatting with my grandma who is staring into the backseat of their car. It warms me to see her looking at Eliza that way.

Grandma walks up to me on my way to the car. “She’s beautiful, Dani.” She pats me on the arm and I give her a hug.

“Thank you, Gran. We’ll see you.”

“Take care of yourself
.” She turns and walks back to the house. For a disastrous visit, it certainly could have been worse.

Leigh
frowns
. Brian takes my small suitcase and puts it in
the trunk. Leigh hugs me tightly, but
I don’t know how to articulate anything right now.

“You can have the front,” she offers.

“Nah.” I shake my head. “I’ll sit in the back. I’m shorter than you.”

I climb in with Nathan and Eliza before she can protest. I don’t want to talk about my trip. Brian tells me how happy he is they’re able to drive with me. I say thank you more times than I can count.

Nathan plays his Nintendo in the backseat and Eliza is peacefully sleeping. I give her a small kiss, which doesn’t even change her breathing. Nathan is in deep concentration on Mario Bros. I watch from the seat next to him.

Brian and Leigh hold hands in the front seat. Occasionally I watch Brian’s hand go up her arm to rub her shoulder and then her neck. She does the same for him. I ache for that kind of relationship as I watch them. I miss Michael.

“
Dangit
!” Nathan’s voice sounds frustrated beside me.

“What’s the problem, Nathan?” I ask.

“I can’t get through this castle. I keep running out of time.”

“Can I see?”

He looks at me skeptically.

“Trust me.”

He slowly hands over his game player. He
is
in a hard level. I smile. I know I have this. This is what Zack and I used to do together. This is what Daniel and I used t
o do together.

“Watch and learn,” I tease
. He’s enthralled as
I take all the shortcuts and just get to the end in time. I beat the guy at the end of the castle and still have all my firepower. Nathan’s eyes are wide.

“You’re amazing!” He laughs, excited. “That was so cool! Mom! You
have
to watch Dani play sometime!”

Leigh laughs in the front seat. “Well, now we know who to call. Neither Brian or I can play as well as him.”

I contributed.
Something small, but it still feels good.

Nathan is now happily playing on a level he’s never seen before. Something occurs to me. “Where’s Nathan’s mom?”

Brian and Leigh exchange looks.

“I’m sorry.” Must have hit a bad topic. “Never mind.”

“No, it’s fine,”
Leigh
says. “She’s in prison in Las Vegas.”

“Oh.” Wait a minute. “Aren’t you sealed to him?”

“Yes. It was quite a process.”
Leigh touches Brian’s cheek.

“Amazing how families come together isn’t it?” Brian smiles.

“And fall apart.” It hits me again. My grandparents don’t treat me the same. My family won’t talk to me, and I’m afraid to try to contact them again.

I don’t mean to sound so melancholy, but my family feels like it’s in little bits.

“Are you spending Christmas with the Masons?” Brian asks.

“They’re in Colorado.” I realize they’ll feel like they need to invite me. “I’m planning on having a quiet day at home.”

“No way, Dani.” Leigh shakes her head. “You’re coming to our house. I’m now extra glad we decided to come home early.”

“You didn’t come home early because of me did you?” I’m suddenly really worried about that.

“No, but we would have.” Leigh looks back at me. “My brother Joseph finally said they’d like to come to Seattle to spend the holiday with us.”

“Oh.”

“It’s been years
since I spent a Christmas with him,” Leigh says.

I’m surprised. They seem tight.

She sees my expression. “Joseph and my father got in an argument that basically boiled down to them not believing the same things. Joseph left home when I was ten. He was eighteen. I didn’t see him until just after Brian and I got married. It had been about ten years.”

“Wow.” I swallow. “Did your dad kick him out or did he just leave?”

“Oh, my dad wouldn’t have kicked him out. They’re close again now that Joseph is willing to come around once in a while. The disagreement is still there, but my dad doesn’t care. I don’t know that he ever did.”

Even Leigh has a family that isn’t perfect. I feel better.

“I’ll just drop you off at home,” Brian says. “And I’ll be by this evening. Pack some clo
thes so you can spend the night. Y
ou don’t want to miss Christmas morning.”

Leigh’s whole face brightens. “That’s right. Joe and Lori will have their twins and there’s Nathan and its Eliza’s first Christmas…” She really, actually wants me to be there.

“I don’t know.” It feels like too much again. “You all are family
,
and I’m really, honestly fine at home. It will be peaceful.”

“
Dani
.” Brian turns in the driver’s seat as he parks the car next to my house. “You
are
family. You’re Auntie Dani. I give my wife a hard time for forcing you into things
,
but it’s me this time. You will be there.”

Just like that, family reappears in front of me. Relief, love and gratitude wash through me in welcome waves.

“We’ll see you
,
Nathan.” I ruff up his hair. “I’ll show you the shortcut through the next castle if you make it there by tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.” He smiles
, but just
as
quickly,
he’s working his way through a new world.

I climb out of the car looking forward to a couple of days as part of the Wright family.

~
~
~

Elder Mason.

I hope your Christmas wasn’t too lonely. I want to tell you about the trip to my grandparents
,
but I don’t think I have the energy. There was no yelling or anything
,
but it didn’t go well. Brian and Leigh brought me home early.

I spent Christmas with them. It was amazing. Leigh made, well sewed, three beautiful nightgowns for me. I feel so pretty in all of them, they look like long dresses but they’re the softest t-shirt material I’ve ever felt. My favorite is the yellow and white printed one. I’ll show you when you’re home.

I didn’t have anything for any of them, of course. But, Leigh’s brother and his wife and their twins were also there and we spent the whole of Christmas Eve taking pictures. I have beautiful shots, and funny shots and then we went out to this area of downtown that was just covered in Christmas lights. The pictures from there also turned out beautifully. I have so many photos that make me tear up just by looking at them. I can’t wait to print some out. I keep finding family in the most unexpected places. My choices are pretty awesome. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for helping me come down here.

It’s harder not having you here than I thought it would be. When I think back to the closeness we had the night before you left, it makes me wish you were here. I want to
lay
next to you, I want to feel your arms around me and I want to wake up in the middle of the night and have you still be there. I miss you.

Love, Dani

I get a letter back the next day.

Dani-

             
Please, please, I need you to follow the rules.

Elder Mason

His email stings.
It shouldn’t. We discussed this. I still wipe away tears. Fortunately the next one I check is from Brian with a link to
LoriLee’s
website. I run out to the living room to show Jackie. I don’t tell her about the interchange between Michael and me.

The pictures I took aren’t just
part
of their website – Brian has done the whole design around them. Jackie and I spend the morning looking through it. Brian is a genius.

“Well, why don’t we run to campus and get your books and all that today?” Jackie suggests. I shrug. It’s as good a day as any. I start work
at Pike Place
again next week, when I start school. Tanya is thrilled that I still don’t mind working, she hates being there all
the time and winters are slow for customers. My winter is crawling by, but for a completely different reason—I want time to pass more quickly.