My Heart Can't Tell You No (78 page)

“You slugged me. That’s how.”

“Do you remember when?”

“That day I came back to marry you,” he told her, then understood what she was saying. “When you were very pregnant with Jackie. Why? Is that where he got cut?”

“The very same spot.”

“Well, now he can’t say he doesn’t look like me. So, other than a few stitches—he’s okay?”

“Physically—yes. But . . .”

“But—what?”

“I don’t know. He’s been so quiet. The only thing I could get out of him is his reason for leaving yesterday.”

“We already knew that much. He was mad because we got married, so he took off.”

“He was trying to get to Lew’s grave—don’t forget that. Ya know, we really didn’t stop to consider he’d be dealing with
two
big changes in his life. We didn’t give him time to grieve for Lew.”

“Maddie,” Joe started in exasperation.

“I know. If we had waited until everything was running smoothly for
everyone
we’d never have gotten married. I’m not condoning his actions or reasons—just trying to explain them.”

“Okay. So, he wanted to go to Lew’s grave. Did he say why?”

“You—aren’t going to like it.” She bit her lower lip nervously.

“Go ahead. It can’t be much worse than what he’s been shoving at me for the past six months.”

“He wanted to tell Lew—to come back—and take you instead.”

“
Ah
.” Joe’s heart sank. “Wonderful. Now what? Do I keep an eye out for stray knives flying my way?”

“Joe.”

“Well, it wasn’t exactly the compliment of a lifetime.”

“He tried to get you back to the house. He dragged you over fifty feet, up hill. He probably saved your life.”

“He was just afraid I’d come back and haunt him.” His hand moved to take one of hers, seeing her frustration. “You’re right. Whatever his motives for running away like he did—he seemed to have had second thoughts about it.”

“I sent him home with John and Tom last night after they were through working on him. He didn’t want to go, but I wasn’t going to let him stay here all night. Tom brought this dress back in for me later. He said Jackie thinks you’re dead. He’s convinced he killed you, and it’s his fault you’re dead.”

“I take it Tom told him otherwise.” Joe shifted uneasily.

“Well—sort of. He wasn’t much help actually. He told him you weren’t dead—so
that
wasn’t his fault. Just everything else.”

“Oh, that was just great. Now the kid won’t even
look
at me, let alone speak to me.” He leaned his head back against the pillow as he held Maddie’s hand. “I dreamt about Lew a while ago.”

“Did you?” She looked up at him with a curious interest. “Were you fishing? Or at a football game with him?”

“Neither. It was right here. I guess I must have heard some of what was said around me last night, because I knew I was here.”

“Here? What was he doing here?”

“Giving me hell—I think,” he said with a smile he didn’t feel. “It was strange. I remember—
everything
I felt during that dream. It felt—so—
good
to see him again. To see his smile. To hear his laugh.
God
, it was like . . . this . . . tense glow, that lit up in my chest and grew until it was shooting out of me from all sides. But as he talked to me,” His smile grew authentic as he glanced up at Maddie, “and I sat there listening to him like a little kid again as he’d spin one of his tales. I felt an excitement, an eagerness. Like I wanted to reach out and touch him and for some reason had a helluva time keeping myself from doing it. He was on his cane again, Maddie. He didn’t have his crutches. He was walking again. He looked good. But then,” Joe dropped his glance, feeling the pain of his dream wash over him, “when I knew he was leaving,
that
—something, whatever it was inside me—seemed to explode and leave me empty. All the good feelings I had, just seeing him, just listening to him, were gone. It was like finding out he was dead all over again.”

Maddie’s arms came up around Joe, holding him tightly. “I know.”

“
God
, Maddie. I miss him.” Joe’s arms were around his wife, holding on for the security and strength he knew she could give.

“You—miss him too?” The choked voice turned Joe’s and Maddie’s attention to the lean boy with stitches in his eyebrow standing in the doorway.

“Jackie?” Maddie turned to look at him with surprise, then rose and moved to the door, checking outside before pushing it closed. “How’d you get in here?”

“Do you miss him too?” Jackie slowly came to the foot of the bed, his tear-filled eyes staring at his father.

Joe stared back at him, an understanding forming as they looked at one another. “Yeah. I miss him so much—it hurts more than anything I’ve ever known.”

“Me too.” Jackie took a hesitant step forward, his hand nervously picking at the sheet under Joe’s cast. “Until last night anyway. That hurt too.” He looked up at his father. “I didn’t
really
want Lew to take you away with him. Not
really
. And then when that tree fell on you—and you wouldn’t answer me—and you wouldn’t get up. I thought you were dead too.” His voice rose in a cry as his tears began flowing. “I thought Lew really came and took you away—because I wanted him to. I thought you were dead, and they wouldn’t let me see you because they had to take you to that funeral place.” Jackie’s hand came up to wipe quickly at his nose as he took another step toward Joe. “I didn’t want you to be dead! I wanted you to be alive! And it hurt! Just like it hurt with Lew! I didn’t want you to be dead! I just wanted you to like me!”

Joe looked at the boy.
My
God,
I
might
as
well
be
seeing
myself
twenty-eight
years
ago.
How
many
times
did
I
silently
beg
my
father
just
to
like
me
before
I
gave
up
completely
and
turned
to
another
family
for
the
love
and
affection
I
couldn’t
get
from
him?
He was not aware of stretching his arms out until the boy was on the bed with him, crying his heart out as he clutched his father’s shoulders.

“Like you?” Joe’s voice was soft as he held the boy close. “My God, Jackie—I’m your father—I
love
you.”

Jackie pulled away from him, wiping his eyes as he gazed up at him. “Ya do? I know ya don’t love me as much as ya do Robby. But that’s okay.”

Joe sighed as he looked at the small figure who resembled him so much in proportion, his tears turning into sniffs as he tried hard to be mature and not cry. “How could I
not
love you as much as your brother? You saved my life last night. You pulled me up that road and tried to get me to safety, when, by all rights, you shouldn’t even have been able to budge that limb off me, let alone pull me all that way.”

“It was easy. You slid on the ice—like pulling a heavy sled back up the hill.” Jackie looked quickly around the bed as if he were searching for something he couldn’t find, then began moving his hand up to his nose again, but Joe took his arm and looked over at Maddie.

“Hand me a tissue.” He glanced back at Jackie with a smile and gave him the tissue. “Here—wipe, then blow.”

Jackie did as Joe told him, then shyly looked up to his father as Maddie quietly moved to a chair at the foot of the bed. “I saved the dog too.”

“Did ya?” Joe leaned back against his pillow again as he listened. “I forgot about him. How did he pull through our adventure?”

“He’s okay. He’s up at Gram’s now. But we have a hard time getting him to go outside to the bathroom. As soon as we open the door, he turns and runs through the house and hides behind the couch. I have to send Robby back through to get him.”

“Does he get mad?” Joe smiled.

“
Uh-huh
. But I told him—like you told me. It’s part your dog, so you gotta do it.” Jackie wiped at his nose again as he looked up at Joe through sparkling eyes. Joe hadn’t noticed how dark the boy’s hair was getting. Almost as dark as
his
now. And, was it his imagination, or was his face starting to change too? He was losing the roundness of baby fat; he was only a few weeks away from turning eight. “He got mad anyway.”

“Excuse me a moment, gentlemen,” Maddie finally spoke up. “But I believe I asked you when you first came in how you got in here.”

“I snuck in. Pap told me to,” Jackie explained as he watched his mother rise and move to the other side of his father. “He brought me up to the nurse’s desk-then watched until no one was looking and told me to run back here.” He looked back at Joe. “Is that okay?”

“You and your mother are the two people I wanted to see most this morning. When you go home, you can tell your brother he can come in tomorrow with you. I hope I’ll be up and around and able to go out to the waiting room to see the two of you.”

“That might not be necessary,” came a voice from the door as it pushed open and a doctor entered, his eyes moving to Jackie. “How about if we scoot your dad outta here sometime this morning? Then you, your mom and your granddad can take him home with you.”

“We can take Dad home?”

“But he’s hooked up to this.” Maddie looked at the doctor. “I thought he’d still be in here for a few days.”

“It will go home with him. If he promises to keep his leg up and takes it easy at home, he can get just as much care there, if not more.” He moved to Joe, shining a small penlight in his eyes before straightening and smiling down at Jackie. “Everything seems just fine. I just might release him right now.” He got a thoughtful expression on his face, teasing the child. “Unless of course you think he’d get better care here with us.”

“No. We’ll take care of him,” Jackie said as he moved his legs until he faced the man.

“Are you sure? We can always keep him in here for a few weeks—just to make sure.”

“No—no. I’m sure. We’ll take care of him. I got a little brother at home—he’ll help. And on weekends my older sister and brother come out. But if Mom stops for them on the way home, I’m sure they’ll come out now and help us. There’s a lot of us kids—we’ll all take care of him!”

The doctor was laughing softly as he looked down at the boy. “I guess you will at that. How about if you come out to the desk with me though while your mom helps your dad get dressed to go home? We’ll go find your granddad and tell him he’ll be having an extra passenger on the way home today. Then I’ll take you down and buy you a cup of hot chocolate while the nurses get a pair of crutches for your dad. Anybody who can get past
those
watchdogs deserves some kind of reward.”

Jackie looked back at his mother with a proud smile, waiting for her approval. When she nodded, he looked to Joe.

“Ya better get going. You’ll need something warm in your stomach for the ride home,” Joe told him, then watched as he hopped off the bed and skipped toward the door with the doctor. Joe picked up Maddie’s hand, leaning back on the bed as he looked up at her and kissed it. “So much for a honeymoon.”

His words stopped the doctor in the doorway, making him turn back toward them with a puzzled expression as he looked at Maddie’s swollen stomach, then back to Joe.

“You’ve—got to be kidding.”

“We just got married yesterday afternoon,” Joe told him, amused at the confusion on the man’s face.

“And all those kids,” he said as if he really wasn’t aware of saying it. “Are they
really
all yours?”

“The two oldest are mine, the next three are ours,” Joe smiled again at his expression. “It’s a long story—but—yeah, we just got married yesterday.”

“Ya know, there
are
other forms of birth control not quite as drastic as breaking his leg on your wedding night,” the doctor suggested to Maddie, making her face turn crimson.