Never Forever (9 page)

Continuing down another long hall, it takes me to a room I have always dreamed of having. The warm tones to the room blend perfectly with all the books lining the entire length and width of the walls. The plush fabric and deep, rich colors of the furniture allow someone a perfect reading environment. A large fireplace is in this room also, but the mantle is done with a natural dark wood stain. Silver and china tea sets are placed perfectly on a soft, oversized ottoman, inviting the room’s inhabitants to have a cup of tea while they read their favorite book.

I proceed to the large couch, sitting down and listening to the sounds around me. In the distance I can hear the laughing shrills of Callum and Olivia’s friends. Their cheers of excitement echo down the hall and push through the library.  As I sit here listening I am reminded just how different I am from them. The immature giggles and overacting is not part of my world anymore. Though I am the same age or even younger than some of them, my mind is now on a very different level. I am not looking for a one night stand, but someone who will stand with me. A sense of longing washes over me. Fighting my instinct to give in to the loneliness I get up and proceed down another, narrower hall.

This one takes me up a slight sweeping staircase. The intricately carved wood resembles the carvings on the crib Callum let Noah use. At the top of the stairs I take a right towards a large set of double doors. Turning the knob, the door instantly swings open, revealing an enormous and breathtaking bedroom. The dark, masculine colors bounce perfectly off of the light flooding into the room. Another large fireplace is in the room. Next to it, though, is a carved wood desk with books streaming all over it. Substantial area rugs line the wood floor, bringing some warmth to the room. I notice the oversized canopy bed and suddenly realize I must be in Callum’s parents’ room. Just as I go to leave I notice something slightly moving on the bed. Straining my eyes to see what it is, my heart instantly takes a leap, “Noah, there you are.”

Walking over to him I notice that he is still sleeping, with a pillow positioned protectively behind him. Gently I pick him up trying not to wake him. This must be Callum’s room, but where is Callum? Just as I start to quietly walk out of his room, Callum steps out of the bathroom completely wet, and… oh, so naked. Utter embarrassment shoots through my frozen form, as I stare at his well-defined and dripping wet body. It is not like I haven’t seen a naked man before, but I haven’t seen
Callum
naked. Our wide eyes suddenly meet as he catches sight of my wandering eyes. In just a split second I notice the droplets of water running down his cut and well defined physique. The droplets ripple down his washboard stomach, running into rivulets down to his perfectly formed V shape, which his lower oblique and abdominal muscles have molded nicely.

My eyes remain watching the streams continuing down his relaxed and immovable body, when suddenly I am brought back to reality. “Oh shit!” I shout, as I hastily turn around, trying to push the erotic image out of my mind. “I am so sorry. I was just leaving.”

In trying to fumble my way out of his room, I trip over the corner of his settee at the end of his bed. The jerking motion jars Noah awake, causing him to belt out a scream. As if I am not already mortified, now I have to calm Noah down when I can barely calm myself.

“Breanna, cool down. I am decent now,” Callum states, with an edge of amusement to his voice.

“I just need to go,” I yell, as I try to talk over Noah’s blistering cries.

Callum grabs my shoulder, spinning me around towards him. A large towel is now wrapped tightly around his waist covering all the necessary parts, but still revealing his perfectly sculpted physique.

“You don’t need to leave. See, I am covered up now.”

“I thought you were going to watch Noah, not take a shower,” I stammer out.

A soft laugh pushes through his nose. He is having way too much fun reveling in this situation. “He was sound asleep, so I thought it was a perfect time for me to take a shower. Besides, I am supposed to bloody bring him back to you, not you come to me. You are the one who came into my room unannounced.”

Trying to defend myself I add, “I didn’t realize this was your room. I thought it was your parents’ room. But when I saw Noah on the bed and you were nowhere to be found, I came in. I am so sorry.” My obvious humiliation rolls within my quivering voice. Trying to let my nervous energy out I begin bouncing Noah rapidly, attempting to calm him down.

He looks deep into my eyes with a glint of satisfaction, “You didn’t have to look as long as you did.” A smile tickles the corners of his mouth.

Dropping my head in shame I try to explain, “I…well…”

“Don’t worry about it. I would have done the same thing if I saw you buck-naked,” A soft laugh flows out of his full, supple lips. Reaching for Noah, he gently demands, “Here, let me try. I am not as wonky as you.”

Callum holds him against his now dry torso as he tenderly jostles Noah up and down. My quivering body evolves into a searing wave of passion, as I watch Callum hold Noah tenderly against his barren chest. Images of Callum’s soaked, inviting and very naked body run through my mind, causing my skin to ignite like gasoline thrown on smoldering embers. My breathing increases, while Noah’s resumes to a slow and steady rhythm.

Callum turns towards me and notices my heavy breathing matching his own. His flaming eyes pierce right through me as the room charges with a strong electrical current. We both stand motionless absorbing the electricity pulsating between us. The room fills with a tangible heat causing our bodies to explode with goose-bumps.

“What have you done to me?” he utters in a low, growling tone. His tight, quivering body maneuvers towards me like a cat getting ready to pounce on its prey. “I thought I had given up on wanting you, but then you had to come here. Why?” he asks in sharp rebuking tone, as he places Noah on his bed.

“You don’t understand. I…”

He fiercely chimes in, “I don’t want to understand. I am going to make you forget about that wanker!” He rushes towards me like an animal on attack, pinning me against the wall. His mouth presses firmly against mine as our lips move in simultaneous bliss. He compresses his firm body against mine, while his hands grab forcefully at the wall behind me. Wrapping my arms tightly around his waist I aggressively pull him against my trembling body. Months’ worth of pent up passion lets loose on each other. His soft, tender lips transform into powerful vessels, taking me to a place I have never been. His sweet, hot breath fills my mouth as his tongue mixes up the concoction within me. My hands delicately trace up his spine sending chills throughout his body. His quivering exhale rolls across my lips as he takes in my tender touch. Everything I am pours into our kiss, like a rushing river out of control.

My heart bursts into flames as life pushes its way back into it, jump starting my soul. Intertwining my fingers into his wet hair I grab onto a large handful, as I mumble his name under my breath. A deep surging desire of want encapsulates the both of us. Soft growls escape his mouth as his teeth gently grab hold of my bottom lip. An explosion of exhilaration vibrates throughout my body, causing a vehement moan to roll from my mouth. Freely letting go of my inhibitions I begin to claim Callum, when suddenly a loud knock at the door vibrates through the both us.

“Callum, are you ready yet? Remember you promised to take me to the stables where we can be alone,” Emily’s shrill voice pierces through the door, instantly transforming the mood.

Callum exhales forcefully as he dejectedly slams his forehead against the wall, next to my ear. His chin rests tenderly on my shoulder as his heavy breathing rolls down my neck. Closing my eyes I instantly feel the regret and anger consume me. My body stiffens as I fight back the rage building within me.

“I am not ready yet, Emily. Go wait for me downstairs,” his voice, though breathless, is firm in his direction towards her.

“What am I doing? You came here with Emily.” Pushing him slightly off of me, I look at his face as my eyes burn into his. “What are you thinking, that you could have your way with me then move on to the next conquest? I will not have me or Noah dragged into something like this.” Pushing my way out from beneath his grasp I head over to Noah. Gaining my breathless control I gently pick him up.

“I would never drag Noah through anything,” he snaps, as he turns and faces me.

“But you would drag me. Thanks.”

“Breanna, you love someone else. Don’t you think that is dragging me through shit?”

Rage forming in my stomach pushes up as I yell, “And I will always love Noah’s father, my
late
husband!” A deep furrow forms between Callum’s questioning eyes. “Yes Callum, my husband died a few days before I discovered that I was pregnant. I am an eighteen year old mother and widow.” Taking Noah I aggressively walk past Callum’s frozen body. “Andrew is not the wanker…you are!” I shout, as I walk out of his room, fully deciding I need to move on.

Dinner Party

I begin pacing back and forth in my room as I try to stifle the anger pulsating throughout my body. Gripping my hands into firm, tight fists, I struggle to fight the urge to hit something. The quiet lull flowing around me is such a sharp contrast to the storm raging within me. After leaving Callum’s room I wanted to leave, but I am trapped because I came with Olivia. Fully resolving that I am forced to stay, I decide to hide out in my room. After feeding and changing Noah I put him back to sleep. That is a great thing about this age, all he does is eat and sleep. But now that Noah is asleep, I am left alone in this quiet room with nothing to do but replay every erotic detail of Callum’s mouth on mine; while he is most certainly off with Emily doing who knows what with her.

As my mind wanders with the possibility of what Emily and Callum are doing, a disgusting sensation in the pit of my stomach, mixing with my anger, causes a toxic explosion within me. Throwing myself onto the plush chair I grab a blanket and fling it over me as I furiously scream out loud.

Immediately there is a knock at my door. My heart begins beating rapidly as to who it can possibly be.

“Who is it?” I desperately ask, with a hope swirling around me.

“Are you alright? I heard a scream,” a huge disappointed sigh flows out of me as I hear Olivia’s voice at the door and not Callum’s.

Dejectedly I open the door, gazing straight into her eyes. “No, I am not alright,” I utter as I head back to the comfort of my chair.

Closing the door behind her she walks over to the chair, squeezing in next to me, forcing me to scoot over. Grabbing hold of the blanket she places it over her, too. Looking straight at me she states, “Okay, talk.”

I have never had a close girlfriend, or even just a friend for that matter. While most girls have mothers, sisters, or best friends to vent on, I have nothing. Andrew would always try to be there for me, but he was a guy, always trying to fix it instead of just listening. I think it is just men. They have to fix things, whereas women just want to talk, especially teenagers. My mom was never emotionally or mentally there for me. She was either too drunk or too sick from the withdrawals to ever listen to my problems. I just learned how to vent on the world by screaming at the trees, the sky, or even God, wherever he is.

My eyes begin to tear up as I realize for the first time in my life I can just talk and someone is willing to listen, “I am an idiot, that’s all.”

“If you are an idiot then I must be completely daft in my head.”

Pressing the furrow between my eyes tightly together, I state, “You have no idea what I have done. And…”

“I think I know more than you realize. This has to do with my brother, doesn’t it?” Her soft eyes melt into me as a wave of compassion and understanding flow from her.

“Yes. I…I…” I mumble, trying to figure out how exactly to say it without embarrassing myself.

“Did you do the Rumpy-Pumpy with him?” A slight snicker rolls out of her.

“What?” I ask, completely confused by her question.

“Did you have sex with him?” she asks, point blank.

“No!” She looks at me in disbelief. I meet her gaze with a sudden sense of comfort, realizing that I can tell her anything. “But if truth be told, it was likely heading in that direction.”

A huge smile spreads across her face as a glimmering light flickers within her eyes, “It’s about bloody time. I have never met two people with more chemistry than you two, and yet you are both so bloody stubborn you won’t act on it.”

“Well, I wish I hadn’t,” I added, flatly.

“Why? Was it that bad?”

“No. Not at all. I haven’t felt like that in a long time, if ever. What Andrew and I had was a love built around friendship. This was a raging inferno burning between Callum and me,” I look up into her completely enthralled eyes. “I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle on the floor.”

A heavy, satisfied sigh rolls out of Olivia’s mouth, “Wow. To have something that powerful is rare. What is the problem then?”

“Emily,” I state coldly.

“Emily? What does she have to do with it?”

“She knocked on Callum’s door. They were supposed to go to the stables together for some…” I look into her eyes with a disappointed rage, “…alone time. That is why I am an idiot. I am just one of his conquests. I know you want there to be more between us. Hell, I wanted there to be more, but we are both wrong.”

Olivia’s face drops in disbelief, “There has to be some misunderstanding.”

“No, he is there with her right now,” my stomach turns with disgust.

Olivia’s body straightens up as a glimmer of excitement washes over her, “No he’s bloody not. Emily has been in the study with Gavin this whole time. She hasn’t gone anywhere with anyone, least of all with Callum.”

“What? Is Callum still in his room then?” My body is now mirroring Olivia’s erect position, as some kind of hope springs through me.

“No. He left a long time ago. I thought he went to get some things for dinner, but he hasn’t come back yet.”

Sinking back into my dejected position on the chair, I hold onto the corner of the blanket for security, “Do you think he is coming back or is he gone?”

“I am sure he is coming back. Callum has lined up the cooks for dinner tonight. We are planning a nice supper in the dining hall. Everyone will be dressing up for it. So if he doesn’t show up I will bloody be brassed off.”

“You didn’t tell me about a nice dinner. I don’t have anything nice to wear.”

A wave of panic rolls over me, as I gaze down at my basic comfortable attire. All I have been wearing for months are loose fitting clothing. Though I am no longer pregnant, I haven’t had any desire to go out and buy more form-fitting, flattering outfits.

A wide, mischievous smile spreads across her face, “Well, that is why I came down here in the bloody first place. I bought you something before we left.” Maneuvering her way out of the chair she heads over to the door and retrieves a large, thin box. Walking back over to me, she states, “I hope you like it.”

“Olivia, you didn’t need to buy me anything! I can just miss dinner.” Gratitude washes over me as I stroke the top of the box. No one has ever just surprised me with a gift. Andrew would have loved to buy me gifts, but we were so poor that those kinds of things were only for the future. A future we never got to have.

“Not bloody likely. I am not about to let you miss this dinner. And I know that I didn’t need to get you a gift. I wanted to get you a gift. Can you just say thank you and open the bloody thing.” Her excitement is contagious as she bounces on the arm of the chair.

Lifting the lid to the box I discover a delicate black tea dress, folded precisely within the box. Shaking it free from the tissue I notice the beautiful, yet deep plunging neckline which is accentuated by a thin strand of small diamonds following the trim of the neckline. The cut to the dress is form-fitting, revealing every curve of a woman’s body. A thin layer of black chiffon covers the entire dress, giving it a soft, elegant sheen. Turning the dress around, I am taken aback at the even deeper plunge to the back of the dress. The same thin layer of diamonds continues down the cut of the back of the dress, but at the bottom of the V-line hangs a long cluster of diamonds. It gives the dress the appearance of wearing a plunging necklace that dangles in the back just above one’s bum, once again calling attention to another part of the female asset. Placed also in the box is a pair of red stiletto strappy shoes, adding to the highly sexual appearance.

“Do you like it?” she shrills in an over-excited tone.

“It is absolutely beautiful. No one has ever given me anything this nice.” My hand gently caresses the soft, silky fabric, tenderly stroking the diamonds that follow the deep neckline. “Um, my only thing is the neckline is awfully deep,” I stammer out, not wanting to offend her.

A boisterous laugh rolls out of her, “Breanna, that’s the point. I thought you might want to take advantage of the wonderful rack Noah has given you. You have a blinding body which you hide behind baggy clothes. It is time to show it off. Besides, what better way to knock my brother off his trolley?” She continues laughing as she smacks me on the back and walks towards the door. “Miss McNally is here, so don’t worry about Noah. She is planning on watching him tonight. Dinner’s at seven. See you soon.”

Holding the dress up to me I turn to face the full length mirror, realizing that I have been hiding behind things. It is time to step out from behind all my coverings and reveal myself.

Anxiously I begin wringing my hands as I close my eyes, preparing to enter the dining room. I can hear all the laughter echoing from the room when suddenly Gavin belts out, “Callum, it’s about bloody time. Where have you been all day?”

Hearing Gavin’s comment causes a deep peace to wash over my mind, like a warm blanket wrapping around my heart. He didn’t leave for good. He came back. Realizing that Callum is now here I know I have to walk in before I chicken out. Taking in a deep, cleansing breath I proceed to walk into the dining room.

As soon as my shoes start clicking on the wood floor the whole room turns in my direction in complete shock. Every mouth in the room drops wide open as they observe a very different girl standing before them. My hair is pulled up into a messy bun, with just a few curly strands delicately hanging down, revealing every detail of the deep plunging neckline. The air within the room washes over me, causing my visible skin to explode with goose-bumps. The cool air swirls around my bare back, sending chills racing up and down my spine. I feel completely naked standing here in such a revealing dress. But I do have to agree with Olivia, since having Noah I now have a perfect hourglass figure.

Looking over the entire group I notice each of their faces tell a very different story. Olivia’s face is beaming with pride, like a mother watching her daughter take her first steps. Gavin’s wide eyes seem to be surveying every detail of my body with great pleasure. Quickly I scan the room until suddenly I see him. Callum’s eyes are not wide with shock, like the others, but are piercing right through me, as if there is no one else in the room. The heat surging off of Callum fills the room, enveloping me with passion. My eyes lock onto his, causing everything but him to vanish. His dark black, slim-fitting suit is tailored perfectly to accentuate his well-built body flawlessly. The undone top two buttons of his white collar shirt reveals just enough skin to cause my heart to speed slightly. His messy hairstyle blends impeccably with his masculine and scruffy face. My breathing quickens as I look at his striking facial features marrying effortlessly with his perfectly positioned stubble.

Slowly I walk into the room when Olivia rushes up to me, “Bloody hell, you look stunning. I am abso-bloody-lutely jealous right now. If I had a body like yours I would never wear clothes.”

Turning nervously towards her I whisper, “I feel like I’m not wearing any clothes the way everyone is looking at me. I feel like hiding right now.”

“You are not about to go and hide. The girls are just jealous, including me, while the boys are…well, let’s just say they’re not having the most pure thoughts right now.” A huge smile streams across her face as she revels in her obvious good choice in picking out this dress. She surveys all the onlookers then turns to me, “Oh, and by the way I think my brother has gone into shock.” She giggles as she walks me over to the long dining table.

The table is decorated with crystal goblets and beautiful off-white china. A large vase in the center of the table has a myriad of white roses and white tulips mixed with baby’s breath and green fern sprigs. The elegance to the table balances perfectly with everyone’s formal attire.

Immediately Gavin rushes over to my chair and pulls it out for me. Completely taken aback by this uncharacteristic gentlemanly behavior, I stand here not sure what to do. Placing his hand on the middle of my bare back, he gently guides me to my seat as he pushes my chair in.

“Blimey, your skin looks and feels like cream,” he utters in amazement, as his hand remains on my back.

Callum slams his fist on the table, causing everyone to jump, “Gavin take your hand off of her and have a seat.” His voice is firm with a dark growl to it, “We need drinks. Where the bloody hell is Rosie?” he shouts at the top of his lungs for the waitress to bring in the alcohol.