Now and Then (21 page)

“Sister?” Riley asked. “I’ve known you for … seven years, and I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“I do,” Cole said, opening another beer.

“Well, nice to meet you, Shay,” Riley said. “
Where do you live?”

“At Tall Oaks Treatment Center,” she said in a small voice. Riley’s brows shot up and he turned away.

“Are you like an alcoholic or something?” Will asked. Cole gave him a dirty look. He didn’t know how to handle this. Maybe there was something to his Mom not wanting anyone to know about Shay. This was awkward as hell.

“No,” he said, “She’s--”

“I’m crazy,” Shay said, looking intently at Will. “I probably would be an alcoholic if I could get alcohol, but I can’t anymore.”

“Hey, I like crazy chicks,” Will said, smiling. “And I can get you some alcohol. We’ve got some right here, you want one?”

Cole slammed the cooler lid shut as soon as Will opened it.

“She can’t have that!” he snapped. “She’s on medications and she can’t drink! Don’t be such an asshole!”

“You’re the asshole, Cole!” Shay yelled. Cole sighed with dismay as he looked at her and saw her blue eyes flashing with emotion. “You’re the perfect one and I’m the crazy one! It’s bullshit! Why should I come home for
your
party when you don’t even want me here?”

“Shay,” Cole said, keeping his voice level. “I do want you here.”

He was relieved to see his Mom pushing open the sliding glass doors. Her eyes widened when she saw Shay.

“Come inside, honey,” she said soothingly.

“No!” Shay’s expression was wild now, and Cole had a knot of nervousness in his stomach. “You’re all ashamed of me because I’m crazy!”

“Shay, please come inside,” their mother said, reaching for her arm. “We can talk inside.”

Shay glared across the deck at Will, and Cole’s body tensed. She looked like she was considering pouncing on his friend, and Cole knew he’d have to stop her if she tried. Finally, she turned and followed their Mom inside, and Cole let out a breath.

“Man, I’m sorry,” Riley said. “I didn’t know.”

“She’s hot,” Will said, chuckling. “I meant it about liking crazy chicks.”

Cole didn’t even think before he sprang up from the chair, his fist connecting with Will’s jaw. Will sprawled out on the deck, looking up in a daze.

“What the fuck?” He gingerly touched his jaw, wincing. Cole was about to jump on top of him when he was stopped by Riley moving in between them.

“Get the fuck out of here, Will,” Riley said. Will scrambled up and off the deck, turning to glare at Cole on his way out.

“You okay, man?” Riley asked.

“Yeah.” Cole shook his head with disgust.

“Let’s get out of here and go hit a bar,” Riley said. “I’m good to drive, I’ve only had one beer.”

Cole nodded and led the way into the kitchen. He just hoped they could get out of the house without upsetting Shay again.

Now

Tall trees huddled around the inpatient facility where Shay lived, but Cole couldn’t tell if they were oaks. His Dad pulled into a parking spot as his Mom chattered happily.

“We haven’t spent C
hristmas as a family in so long,” she said. Even though he only had a side view of her since he was in the back seat and she was turned in the front, Cole noticed that the lines in her face seemed softer. She was happy. Even if Shay wasn’t glad to see him, giving this gift to his Mom made the trip worth it.

Tall Oaks was as invitin
g as a place surrounded by a high barbed wire fence could be. It was a sprawling log building, with snow-covered benches lining a long sidewalk. A snowman had been built in the front yard, reminding Cole of all the times he and Shay had done that as kids in Wisconsin.

A wave of anxiety hit him when
they walked through the door. There were a few people walking in the large lobby, which had rustic décor and a tall, vaulted ceiling. Cole scanned each face, looking for his sister.

“Hi, Carol,” his Mom said to the young brunette sitting at a reception desk.

“Jenny! Tom! Merry Christmas!” Carol said warmly.

“This is our son, Cole.” As his mother introduced him, Cole smiled awkwardly at Carol. Surely she was wondering where he’d been all these years.

“Nice to meet you, Cole,” Carol said. “I think Shay will be glad to see all of you. She just woke up a few minutes ago, and she knows you’re coming. So far it seems like a good day.”

Cole wondered if Carol noticed th
e sighs of relief both his parents gave.

They only had t
o wait a minute before being led down a long hallway by a nurse, who knocked lightly on Door 19.

“
Shay,” she said, opening it and sticking her head inside. “Are you ready for a visit from your family?”

Cole shifted uncomfortably as the silence hung. Was this a good idea?

“I think she’s ready,” the nurse said, moving aside to allow them entry. Cole followed his parents in, not getting to see Shay before she flew into their mother’s arms, clinging to her tightly.

“I thought you were never coming back,” she said, her voice wavering.

“I always come back, Shay, I love you,” their Mom said soothingly. Shay went to hug their Dad, but stopped when she saw Cole.

“Shay, your brother Cole came to see you,” their Mom said, walkin
g over to wrap an arm around Cole’s shoulders. “You remember Cole?”

Her blue eyes widened and though she was older, Cole recognized the sister he’d grown up with. Her blond
e hair, the same shade as his, was cut above her shoulders. She was thinner than before, but she still looked okay.

“Are you with them?” Shay asked, eyeing him skeptically. Assuming he meant their parents, Cole was about to say yes when his Mom interjected.

“
No, Shay, he is not with them,” she said in a firm, gentle tone. “He’s your family like we are. Cole loves you. He would never, ever hurt you.”

Shay’s face relaxed, and Cole wondered what that had been about. Clearly his hopes of
finally connecting with his sister were pointless.

“Why don’t we go down to the game room?” their Mom said. “We can play ping pong if you want to.”

As they made their way down the wide, open stairway to the basement, Cole was amazed how quiet Tall Oaks was. Maybe it was just because it was 8:30 a.m., but the place seemed pretty zen. Even the lighting and décor were serene.

A middle-aged man was sprawled on a couch, engrossed in a paperback, when they entered the large game room. Cole followed his parents to a sitting area at the other end of the room, where he sat down next to his Dad on a loveseat.

“You look good, Shay.” Cole heard relief in his Mom’s words. She reached from her chair over to Shay’s and stroked a hand over her hair. Shay studied Cole impassively.

“Do you still play football?” she asked.

“Sometimes, but not as much anymore,” he said.

“I remember watching your games,” she said.

“Yeah, I liked football, but it was really hard on my body. Now I mostly just run and lift weights.”

A few seconds of silence stretched, and Cole looked around the room. Two people had wandered in and taken up a table tennis game, and one of them was getting agitated.

“Shay, do you remember Emma Carson, from across the street back home? She’s Cole’s girlfriend now,” their Mom said. Shay shook her head.

“She’s an artist,” Cole said. “She paints and draws and sculpts. Maybe I’ll bring her with me next time I come visit.”

Shay smiled for the first time since they’d arrived.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” she said.

Their parents chattered about the weather and national news, trying to fill the silence. Cole watched Shay, who was studying her hands in her lap. She rubbed the thumb of one hand across her other palm rhythmically.

What’s she thinking about? Is she glad we’re here, or is she uncomfortable? Does she ever get to leave this place?

“Shay, can I take a picture of you with Mom and Dad?” Cole asked, taking out his phone.

“Sure,” she said, shrugging. The three of them stood and smiled
, and Cole couldn’t help noticing how happy his Mom was. He knew she struggled with Shay being so far away, and with not knowing how she was doing all the time. But this place specialized in treating people with schizophrenia, and she seemed to have accepted it.

He felt a sudden urge to ask his Mom if it was hard to let go of the dreams she’d had for Shay, and replace them with new ones. Whether she worried every day about her only daughter.

“I’ll take one of you two,” his Mom said, taking the phone from Cole. He put an arm around Shay and smiled, reminding himself that the tears in his mother’s eyes were happy.

Chapter 19

It was strange to be driving a car again, Emma thought as she turned onto her parents’ street in Cole’s navy blue sedan. He’d insisted she drive it while he was in Indianapolis, and though she was used to taking the train everywhere, it had been nice to leave her house when she’d wanted to, instead of having to meet a train schedule.

Layla’s little red car was parked in the driveway, and Emma considered just driving past the house and skipping this. Seeing her sister sounded painful right now. But she knew her parents were expecting her, so she swung into the driveway and parked behind Layla.

The house was quiet when Emma walked in, and she smiled when Layla’s dog Prince greeted her with a wagging tail.

“Hey, Prince,”
she said, bending to rub his ears as he sniffed her thoroughly. “Do you smell Vincent on me? Do you like cats, Princey?”

She held her breath as footsteps clicked her way, knowing it had to be Layla’s heels.

“You traitor!” Layla chastised her dog and he looked at her with a guilty face, trotting to her side immediately.

“He’s a dog
, Layla,” Emma muttered, standing up.

“I didn’t know
you
were coming,” Layla said, eyes narrowed.

“It’s Christmas Eve, where else would I go?”

“Is your boyfriend joining us?”

“No.” Emma walked past her sister swiftly.

Do not give in to her. She’ll try to bait you into a fight. Don’t fall for it.

“Emma! Merry Christmas
Eve!” her Mom said cheerfully when she walked into the family room. Her Dad looked up from the newspaper he was reading, checking his watch.

“Was I supposed to pick you up at the train station?” he asked, concerned.

“No, I drove,” Emma said, sitting down next to him on the couch.

“Did you get a car?” he asked.

“No, I drove Cole’s car. He went somewhere with his parents for Christmas.”

“I heard about you and him
,” he said, lowering the newspaper and patting her knee affectionately. “I think it’s fantastic.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“You’ve always liked her better,” Layla said in an icy tone from the kitchen.

“What did you say?” their Dad aske
d, his mouth falling open as he turned to look at Layla.

“You always preferred her!” Layla stormed into the room. “You always go on and on about how she’s such a ‘talented artist’ and how ‘independent’ she is! It’s bullshit! I went to law school and you act like it’s nothing! Of course you’re happy she got Cole – she’s your favorite!”

“Layla!” their Mom said, eyes wide with shock.

“This has nothing to do with Dad,” Emma said angrily, rising from the couch.

“You’re right! It has more to do with you being a backstabbing, slutty bitch!” Layla yelled, moving closer. “You knew I wanted him – you
knew
it, Emma, and that’s the only reason you’re into him!”

“That has nothing to go with it!” Emma yelled back. “I didn’t want to be with him at first, because I knew you’d go crazy over it!”

“If I’m crazy, it’s because you betrayed me! My own fucking sister! I would never do that to you!”

“Girls!” Their mother held up her hands, trying to get their attention, but it was no use. Emma covered the distance between her and Layla, her fury growing stronger with every step.

“You would’ve done worse to me, Layla!” she said. “You have done worse! Lying about sleeping with Cole--”

“I was 17
, Emma!”

“I don’t care how old you were, it was a lie you calculated to be mean and hurtful. And it did hurt, Layla!” Emma’s voice wavered as she fought tears. “That lie almost came between me and Cole.”

“Oh my fucking God, I am not listening to your ‘me and Cole’ bullshit!” Layla raged.

“You’re just bitter because I have something you don’t! Why can’t you be happy for me?”

“Happy that you
stol
e the guy you knew I wanted?”

“Now, girls!” their mother raised her voice
, trying to stand between them.