Now and Then (22 page)

“Oh, get over yourself, Layla!” Emma yelled. “You wanted him while you were dating several other guys -- and fucking some of them! You want to be the girl who gets around and wants to get married, and you can’t be both.”

“
Gets around
? Are you calling me a slut?” Layla’s voice was cool and measured.

“Well, if the platform stripper heel fits …” Emma said coldly.

“You bitch!” Layla flew at her and Emma gasped as a handful of her hair was jerked so hard it felt like it had been pulled out. She pushed back at her sister, trying to get free from the hands that were clawing at her.

“Alrigh
t, that’s IT!” their father yelled, pushing them apart. “We did not raise you to behave this way! Certainly not in our home on Christmas Eve when your mother worked very hard to make a nice dinner.”

Emma hung her head.

“I’m sorry,” she said, adding, “Mom and Dad.” She didn’t want Layla to think she was getting an apology.

“Me, too.
” Layla sniffed. “But Mom, you know how upset I am about all this. I shouldn’t have to spend Christmas Eve with
her
. It’s not fair. She has other people to be with, apparently, and that’s where she should be.”

“Layla …
” their Mom started.

“No, it’s fine,” Emma said, raising a hand. “I’ll go. I really am sorry, you guys.”

“You aren’t going anywhere,” their Mom said sternly. “It’s Christmas Eve and no member of this family will be excluded. Layla, you need to accept that Emma and Cole are together. You’ll regret it forever if you let this come between you and your sister.”

Layla scoffed, crossing her arms and looking away.

“You know what, Layla?” Emma said, her voice strained with tears. “It’s not even that you want him, it’s that you don’t want
me
to have him. You think you should always be in front of me in everything. If you were with someone great, you’d be happy for me.”

The room was filled with tense silence and Emma watched Layla as she stared at the floor.

“I don’t know, Em. Maybe,” she said quietly.

“I idolized you growing up, Layla.” Emma wiped away her tears quickly. “You were everything I wished I could be. No
one was more shocked than I was that Cole Marlowe fell in love with me instead of you.”

“Why?” Layla asked sadly. “You’re perfect, Em. I’m not surprised at all. I saw him looking at you at the Labor Day party. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you.”

The edge in her sister’s tone made Emma’s anger flare again.

“But why does that make you
mad, Layla? Why should you get all the attention all the time?”

“Because you’ll
leave me behind!” Layla yelled. Her tone was raw and tears welled in her big brown eyes. “You’ll get married and have all kinds of great adventures with someone and I’ll be alone! Pretending I love my life when I don’t!”

The air left Emma’s lungs as the silence stretched. Layla furiously wiped the tears from her face, looking nothing like the snarky, confident woman Emma was so used to.

“Oh, Layla,” she said softly. “You just don’t let anyone past your façade. If you did, you’d have everything you’ve ever wanted. My sister can be warm and vulnerable. She cares more than she lets on. She’s the most loyal person I’ve ever known. Why am I the only one who gets to see that?”

Layla sniffed, looking embarrassed.

“I am happy for you, Em. I’ve been a real ass. And I’ll be okay. I can always just get a bunch of cats or something.”

“You put so much pressure on yourself,”
Emma said. “You’re only 26, Layla. You’ve been focused on law school. Give yourself a break on the rest.”

“Yeah.” Layla turned toward their parents sheepishly. “I’m sorry, guys. I didn’t mean to ruin Christmas Eve.”

“Honey, you didn’t ruin anything,” their Mom said, reaching for Layla with a hug. “Sometimes you just need to get it all out. I think you both feel better now.”

Emma glanced at her father’s ashen expression with a flicker of amusement.
He’d apparently been shocked by his daughters’ cage-match style discussion about who they’d fucked and who was a slutty bitch. Their parents had never used that kind of language when they were growing up.

“I’ll get out some snacks,” their Mom said. Emma knew she was trying to clear the tension with her hostess skills.

A smile played on Layla’s lips, making Emma burst out laughing. They reached for each other at the same time, and Emma squeezed her eyes shut. The tightness in Layla’s body relaxed cathartically.

“Your necklace is beautiful,” Layla said in Emma’s ear in a low tone. Emma’s fingers flew
to the white gold owl pendant Cole had left in a small box on her pillow that morning. Its eyes sparkled with diamonds, and its body was made of black onyx. It was a gift she’d wished she could share with someone, and Layla’s mention of it warmed her.

“Thanks,” Emma said softly.

“I want to hear all about it sometime,” Layla said. “Everything. I want to be there for you on this, Em. Not today. But soon, I promise.”

Emma grinned, feeling lighter
as the dark cloud hanging over her drifted away.

*****

Each piece of her art Emma gently wrapped and packed into the open cardboard box had special meaning. The drawing that won her the Emerging Artist award in high school. The first painting that Mr. Roselle, one of her instructors in Paris, hadn’t been disgusted with. A bowl she had sculpted with her eyes closed, to connect with what her hands could do completely on their own. When she came to the painting inspired by her first kiss with Cole, she smiled.

It had been
just over four months since she’d run into him at the coffee shop, and she couldn’t remember life without him anymore. Soon they’d be living together, which was still surreal to Emma. The lease she hadn’t renewed on her apartment ended in six days, giving her less than a week to get everything packed and moved.

Packing on Christmas evening
normally wouldn’t have sounded fun, but she could hardly contain herself knowing she was preparing to move in with Cole. It would have been fun to have Layla’s help, but Emma knew the subject was still sore. She’d told her family during Christmas dinner earlier that she was moving in with Cole, and a flicker of something crossed Layla’s face, though she hadn’t said anything. Emma hoped things would get better with time.

She turned to the
front door as it opened, smiling as Cole walked through and tossed his coat on a chair.

“Hey,” she said
, getting up from the floor to greet him. His face was drawn and serious.

“I’m so glad to see you,” he said, sighing deeply as he walked closer and rea
ched his arms around her. He held on tight, pressing his face against her hair.

“You okay?” she asked softly.

“Yeah,” he said, leaning back to look at her face while keeping his hands on her hips. “I’m really glad you made me go.”

“I didn’t make you,” Emma said, laughing lightly.

“You did. I can’t refuse you anything, and you wanted me to go.”

“It went well, then?” she asked, reaching up
to his cheek.

“I think so. Shay knows
I care about her, and that’s … good, you know? It made my Mom really happy, too. She’s also crazy happy about us, by the way. My parents want to help with the move this weekend.”

“That’s nice of them. So how is Shay?”

Cole’s face grew serious as he considered.

“She’s okay,” he said. “A lot more stable than she was the last time I saw her. The place she’
s at seems good. But it hit me really hard that she’s never gonna have a normal life. It’s shallow of me to resent someone who didn’t have a choice about any of this. If she had, I know she’d have chosen to be happy, go to college, fall in love … all the things I’ve done that she never will. She’s 31, Em. We’re not kids anymore. I just never thought of her in all this, and I feel like an asshole.”

“You’re not, Cole. Give yourself a break and move forward,” Emma said.

“Yeah,” he said, pulling her closer. “I’m working on it. I told Shay I’ll come back next month and bring you with me.”

“I’d love to go see her,” Emma said. “Did she like the iPod and the scarf we got her?”

“She loved it. You should have seen her when she tried out the iPod. I think it was the best gift I’ve ever given anyone.”

“T
hank you for the necklace,” she said, running her fingertips over the pendant. “It’s beautiful. I have something for you, too.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Em.”

“Just open it,” she said, handing him a cylindrical package with a red bow. She was nervous as he pulled the end off and took the paper out, unrolling it slowly. His eyes sparkled as he studied it, and Emma held her breath with anticipation.

“This is … I don’t even know what to say,” he said. “It’s incredible. I love it.”

Though she knew it by heart, Emma looked at the drawing she’d done of Cole. He stood on an open football field, holding his helmet by his waist. His carefree smile had been hard to capture, but she’d finally gotten it. He was young and beautiful, with the world in front of him. His blue eyes gleamed and chin-length pieces of blond hair looked like they were being blown by a light breeze.

“How did you do this?” he asked.  “Did you use a picture? I don’t know of any picture of me like this.”

“It came from memory. This is the way you looked in my mind and my heart before we ran into each other that day,” she said. “Perfect. Now I know you’re not perfect, but I love you more for it. I just wanted to get this image out of my mind and kind of say goodbye to it, you know? It seems like a good way to start out the next chapter.”

Cole rolled the drawing back up and sat it on a nearby table, turning to Emma with a tender look.

“You bring light into my life,” he said. “I can’t believe the most beautiful, smart, compassionate girl in the world lived across the street from me when I was younger and I was too blind to see it. I’m sorry.”

“Cole, you don’t--”

“I know,” he said, cutting her off. “But I’m sorry. For every time you wanted me to see you and I didn’t. Maybe I’m not apologizing to the woman standing in front of me today, but to the girl I disappointed. I’ll never disappoint you again, Em, I promise.”

Emma smiled, breaking away from his intense, gray-blue gaze.
When he tipped her chin up to kiss her, his warmth and scent and closeness made her long for more of him. But she had work to do, so she pulled back and looked at the stack of boxes.

“
Do you feel like helping me pack?” she asked.

“No,” he said, his lips moving down her neck. “I feel like taking you to bed.”

“That sounds better than packing,” she said, her head falling back as he kissed her chest. “But there’s still so much to do …”

“We can pack later.” He stopped suddenly, looking up at her. “Hey, how’d it go with your family?”

“Oh, it was okay,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Just some minor cat fighting that my Dad had to break up.”

“What? I can’t believe I missed that,” he said, grinning.

“You’re such a caveman,” Emma said, smacking him lightly on the arm. Cole bent quickly and wrapped his arms around her thighs, standing and throwing her body over his shoulder. Emma squealed as he carried her toward the bed.

“I’ll show you a caveman, baby,” he said, tossing her lightly on the bed.
As he pulled his shirt over his head and climbed onto the bed, Emma’s desire rose quickly. Cole’s face turned serious as he hovered over her, looking into her eyes.

“This is one of the last times I’ll be able to make love to you here,” he said. “Pretty soon we won’t have your place and my place, just our place.”

Emma’s heart swelled at his earnest expression.

“You’re cute when you’re sentimental,” she said, smiling
as she reached up to pull him down toward her. Cole laughed lightly and she felt the tickle of his voice near her ear.

“Only for you, Em.”

Author’s note

Thanks so much for reading Now and Then! If you enjoyed the book, I’d sincerely appreciate a review on Goodreads. Please connect with me there, or friend me on Facebook. I love hearing from readers, so don’t be shy! The next book in the Now series, Now and Again, is scheduled for release in October. Please visit my website at
www.brendarothert.com
for more info.

Acknowledgements

It takes a village to create a book, and I’m so grateful to everyone who helped with Now and Then. The biggest thanks go to my husband Mark and my three boys, who all put up with cereal for dinner and minimal clean laundry when I was in the zone writing.
You mean the world to me.

My fellow writers Magan Vernon and Jane Koscielak strengthened this book with their genius ideas. What an honor it is to be in your company.

This story was also shaped by some dear friends who beta read it. Carrie Jones, Liz Marlowe, Amy Cullen, Nicole Shaffrin and Molly Brian all have that reader insight that is invaluable to the writing process. Thanks for your patience, ideas and encouragement, ladies.

Another source of constant inspiration is my friend and cover artist, Tracy Snowman. When my random ideas don’t even m
ake sense to me, you get them. You bring my books to life with a brilliance I never imagined.

I’m also deeply grateful to editor Melinda Fulton, whose feedback and guidance helped shape this into a stronger book.

There are so many other friends, new and old, whose support and encouragement helped get me here. So many thanks to all of you.