On Becoming His - Lessons Learned (16 page)

The salacious thoughts gave her the courage and the desire to slip on what she considered to be the hottest dress she owned. Hmmm….

Ten minutes later she stood in front of the mirror, smoothing down the slick material over her hips. The flaming red certainly issued a statement, one few would be able to miss. Brushing her hair and poofing just slightly, she pursed her lips then blew her reflection a kiss. Groaning, Jessie placed her hands on her hips and swiveled back and forth, smiling as the material swished around her legs. The Victoria’s Secret dress was brand new and one she knew would entice her Sir. If he still was her Sir.

She gripped the edge of the dresser, determined not to think such horrible thoughts. Giving herself a glare and a snort, she grabbed the tube of lipstick from
the container on the dresser. Scorching red lips seemed to be in order. After applying, she stood back and raised her eyebrow. Immediately her eyes were drawn to the bite mark on her neck she could barely see. She slid her hand over the hump and sucked in her breath. Jessie could feel the raised lump from his teeth marks.

Whew.
They were going to a party or a club where others would see she had no collar and had a bite mark. Well, perhaps she’d fit right in with the crowd. As she took a step back, she smiled and thought about the fact they hadn’t been to a BDSM club together. Now she was hot and wet and full of worry. A nervous tick appearing in the corner of her mouth, she pushed her hand across, trying her best to calm her nerves. My God, she was indeed terrified. With all the books she’d read and all the articles on line, nothing could have ever given her such crazed thoughts. What would the people expect? What was she supposed to do? What was Luke expecting of her?

Every part of her body shaking,
she almost toppled the crap from her dresser onto the floor. At being a submissive she sucked. Lowering her head, she closed her eyes and cursed under her breath.

“You look beautiful, Jezebel and stop worrying. Nothing is expected of you tonight. You’re simply going to be by my side.”

There was something so comforting about Luke’s voice, yet she continued to shiver. Lifting her head, she smiled, the nervous tick remaining.

Luke chuckled softly and walked behind her, easing her hair back from her shoulders. “You’re going to be the most beautiful woman there and remember, you belong to me.” A slow grunt easing from his lips, he licked around the bite, his eyes never leaving her face.

Jessie shivered to her core. This man was more than commanding. “Do you really think so?”

“I know so.” He slipped his both hands on top of her shoulders, gripping and squeezing.

“I’m nervous.” She finally admitted.

“There’s no reason to be.”

“What if…” Jessie looked down.

Exhaling slowly, Luke turned her around to face him. “What if you aren’t certain what to do or if you really want to experience something tonight?”

“Yes. I just don’t want to disappoint you any further.”

Luke kissed her forehead, keeping his lips on her skin. “You won’t.”

And she knew what he really wanted to say was that she already had. When he pulled back from her she saw a look she’d never seen before and one that terrified her to the core. He was filled with sadness. The disappointment was too great. She was going to lose him, the man she loved more than life itself. Utter despair swept her body. Jessie had no idea what to do.

Chapter Seven

Jessie was so far out of her element her heart was palpitating. While she thought they were going to a club, the secured hotel location was intimate, yet surprising. From a distance she could see her Sir was very much in his element, shaking hands and meeting people, completely at ease. For her, she was just about as anxious as she’d ever been. Being uncomfortable in any given situation just wasn’t like her. Granted, the scene was very new and one both she and Luke wanted to explore more of. Jessie believed she was ready for more serious aspects of BDSM than the moments shared very intimately together. They’d had several discussions on public displays in well-protected environments just like this. She could do this. Maybe she could do this… Oh hell, she wasn’t entirely certain of anything any longer.

They’d also talked about sharing, at least with regard to certain aspects of exploring kink. Shivering, she turned and walked toward the closest bar. If she wasn’t going to be involved in anything kinky, she could certainly have a couple of glasses of wine
to calm her nerves. She headed straight for the gorgeous man standing behind the bar. At least the hired help was more like delicious eye candy on steroids. As she shifted she bit her lip. The thick dildo was a quick reminder of her place tonight. She couldn’t help wonder whether anyone could tell she had the fake cock shoved up her ass.

Who would really care
? No one. Maybe everyone was wearing one, even the men. The thought giving her a chuckle, she shifted back and forth, enjoying the way the toy made her ass feel. Full.

“What will you have?” His voice was husky, laced with the perfect touch of a southern drawl, giving him even more of a sensual quality.

“A glass of cabernet.” Jessie found herself almost cooing.
You’re playing with fire.

“Coming right up.”

Jessie sighed and rubbed her eyes, enjoying the soft strains of some foreign guitar music, prefect for the night and the setting. She stood people watching more than anything, her curiosity growing as additional guests arrived. Of course she’d read enough to know there was nothing but so unusual to expect from the men and women who frequented the highly coveted and very well protected parties. They were friendly, mostly easy going and certainly welcomed her with open arms. What she hadn’t been prepared for was her raw emotions surfacing almost immediately the moment she walked into the room.

Taken aback, she’d been unusually quiet, drinking in the atmosphere as well as listening in on conversations. She was keenly aware there was a tremendous mixture of people from all walks of life.
The mix was interracial as well as same sex along with the traditional couples milling about the ballroom size space. The event was catered with bars flanking both sides of the room. She could smell various kinds of food on the buffet line and for some reason the notion this was merely a typical party gave her tingles.

Turning her attention to the apparatuses lining the two longest walls, she studied each one briefly, vaguely familiar with several pieces. From the revered “X” cross to a spanking bench, both gleaming from the spot lights hanging above and what seemed to be stations set up for demonstrations of tying to flogging, there was little in the way of pain and pleasure that wasn’t represented. Could she actually feel comfortable enough to participate in anything while others looked on, her Sir whipping her, or perhaps using the Violet Wand? Hell, she had no idea. Then what about a stranger being allowed to wield the cane or flogger? How she was shivering to the bone.

“Here you are, Miss.”

She smiled as
she turned to retrieve her wine; grateful she was getting dragged away from her growing apprehension. “Thank you.” The second their fingers touched she tingled and could tell the young man was also aroused.
Not good. Oh not good.
They locked eyes for a full minute and she could swear she could read what the stranger was thinking, and where he’d like to slip his fingers.

“I leave you alone for a few minutes and you seem to lose interest in me.”

While she heard amusement in Luke’s voice, she also heard a sight clip of agitation. Her behavior certainly wasn’t improving. “Not at all, Sir.”

Luke exhaled audibly and eased her away from the bar, giving the bartender an indignant look. “I do think he was considering devouring you and I’m not certain you would have stopped him.”

Heat rose from her neck and she looked down, unsure of what to say.

“
Yes, well you’ll be near me for the rest of the evening,” Luke said quietly.

In truth, Jessie was thankful.
She loathed feeling out of control and this certainly tugged at every aspect of her repose. “Yes, Sir.”

You look uncomfortable,”
Luke whispered as he nuzzled his head into her ear and wrapped his arm around her, pulling Jessie against him.

Instinctively she brushed her hand across where her collar should be, wincing as the realization settled in.
“Maybe a little bit. I thought this was a munch.”

Nipping the skin under her chin, he patted her on the behind and
puled her arm through his. “Well of sorts. Just on a more grandiose scale and there’s no reason to feel nervous. Tonight you’re going to meet some of the people who frequent the scene in and around town. Some of these people are highly influential people in the world of BDSM. They can show both you and I many things.”

“
Mmm… Okay. I’m certainly more than interested.” Taking a sip of her wine, Jessie could see some curious looks coming in their direction. They weren’t the only black and white couple in the room, but they were the most striking couple, at least in her opinion. They were also dressed more eloquently and the combination of his black linen suit and her fiery red dress was an eye catcher.

“That’s my girl. One day I hope you’re comfortable enough to engage of some activity at least in front of others, but for now we’ll watch and le
arn. Come, sweet Jezebel. Allow me to introduce you to some of the people. There’s certainly an eclectic group here tonight,”

He led her straight through the middle of the room as if with purpose, stopping only a few times to introduce her.
There was a knowing within Luke, a calm reflection of something. Jessie could tell he was making a bee-line for a group of men languishing in an area of the room set up with arm chairs and lower level lighting, emulating a cozy bar. While the men were sitting, talking casually, the woman were either standing behind them or sitting at their feet. The closer they came the easier it was to see every woman wore a collar.

“Shit.” The word was said under her breath but Luke caught it instantly and tugged her arm stopping their progression.

“Jezebel. There’ll be none of that. Is there a problem?”

Jessie swallowed hard and shook her head, fingering her neck again.

Luke seemed to follow her gaze. “Ah, well I’ll allow you to explain or not explain why you’re not wearing a collar. It’s up to you. I can assure you these men didn’t select easily or quickly when they decided to collar their submissives.”

The comment struck her as odd. “You know them?”

“I know them, yes. I know of their reputations. They are considered men of means and well known for their endowments to the Black Arts and their contributions to artists who work to achieve true recognition for the art of BDSM.”

She caught the hesitation in his voice and they way he was speaking of the three men, all very close to Luke’s age, seemed more than just a casual knowledge base. “I understand…Sir.”

Luke seemed to catch her afterthought and raised his eyebrow, but said nothing else. “They’re fine gentlemen and I think you’ll get along with their submissives, at least I hope you do.”

Jessie had the feeling they might be doing dinner together, or afternoon barbeques and he was well aware of the fact she got along with few women. “Yes, Sir. Whatever you say, Sir. Barbeques and pool parties.” She lifted her glass and smiled before taking a gulp. Courage wasn’t coming easily.

Luke laughed and swatted her ass. “You’re such a tease and always willful. I should turn you over my knee right here. At least you’re full of spunk. “

Spunk.
There was a word.

As they closed the distance the men tipped their heads and there wasn’t any doubt in her mind there was clear recognition in their eyes. Each nodded and rose to their feet, immediately drawing their attention toward her. The reverence was obvious. As well as something else she couldn’t put her finger on. The men were all gorgeous, all obviously comfortable in their skin, and very much in charge. And Jessie suspected of the entire room.

“Well, well. To what do we owe this great honor?” The words were said with kindness. His eyes twinkled as he held out his hand.

“Bart, good of you to include us.” Luke
shook firmly, as slight smile crossing his face.

There was a definite air of familiarity about the men and as the other two walked closer, they studied her with intense scrutiny. Jessie smiled and took a step back from Luke, unsure of the protocol.
There was so much to learn, perhaps about Luke the man as well.

“Jezebel Waters, allow me to introduce you to Bartholomew Reynolds, Jackson Michaels and Wally Tyler. They practically rule the East Coast with regards to happenings with the BDSM community,” Luke stated, his eyes flashing.

Bartholomew was blond and his dashing blue eyes merely one of his dazzling features. Jackson was another black man, good looking in a rough and tumble kind of way. And Wally had a kind face as well as a body to die for. “Gentlemen. I’m honored to be here. I wish I could say I’ve heard all about you but Sir Luke has kept me in the dark up until now.” Jessie wasn’t certain if she heard a gasp of a chuckle coming from one of the woman, but she did see three curious looks when she called Luke sir.

“My very willful and highly opinionated submissive I should have added after her name.” Luke groaned and slid his arm around her waist.

“And very beautiful I might add,” Jackson said as he took her hand, bringing her fingers to his mouth.

The greeting was
very intimate, but Jessie had a feeling the men were used to certain levels that went beyond being basic acquaintances. There was a mystery as to why Luke hadn’t told her about them. Tonight wasn’t the time or the place to ask Luke anything. “Thank you.”

“I second that” Bart said enthusiastically.

“Good to see you, my friend.” Wally’s smile was beaming as he shook Luke’s hand. “I do hope this means we’re going to see more of you.”

“I hope so too. We’re thinking about getting involved in the community,” Luke stated flatly.

“About time,” Jackson added as he patted her hand and let it go.

She gla
nced over at the women standing together, instantly realizing the three seemed to know each other. This was growing more curious.

“I agree.” Luke inhaled deeply.

Jessie knew instinctively he was very nervous and the three men seemed to notice. Where they more than just sometimes friends? For her, the answer was clear. The question was, why hide the past relationship?

“Goodness. Where are my manners? Ladies, please.” Bart stepped back, his smile broadening. He wrapped his arm around tall, black woman, pulling her close. “Th
is lady is Marla Winters. She’s been able to put up with me for almost five years now.”

“Very glad you’re here, Jezebel and so good to see you, Luke. I’ve so missed you.” She held up her left hand, showing off a sparkling diamond.

“Wow. About time you two got hitched. He’s a lucky guy,” Luke whispered as he kissed Marla on the cheek.

Instantly Jessie’s red flags
rose, flying high.
He’s lying to you.
No, she refused to listen to her ugly little voice. “Likewise.”

“This is Ginger James. We’ve only been together for a few months,” Jackson said as he patted the blond on the butt.

She rolled her eyes and gave him a look full of attitude. “Why sir, I do love your love taps.”

The men laughed and Bart leaned closer to Luke, as if allowing only him to hear what he was about to say. “She’s just as ballsy as I suspect your sweet Jezebel can be.”

“Great. Two of them.” Luke turned toward Jessie, a look of love in his eyes.

“And this is my beloved Aimee. We almost lost her a couple of months ago so I’m grateful she’s here.” The look on Wally’s face
was one of fear as well as adoration.

Aimee held out her hand. “Don’t look so terrified. Not because of anything to do with the lifestyle.
To cancer.

“I’m so sorry.” Jessie instantly liked the young woman whose eyes were far too haunted for her beautiful face.

“Well, if I check out clean in two months then I’ll have something to celebrate. Come, let’s get a refill on your wine and allow the men to talk.” Aimee took Jessie’s arm.

Considering her glass was almost half full, Jessie figured the men wanted to talk. What in the world did they have between them?
Jessie allowed a single breath to escape as she walked away, her fingers raking across his back and arm.

Luke pulled her back, turning her until he could brush his lips across her
s as he cupped her ass, squeezing.