On Becoming His - Lessons Learned (19 page)

The gesture was so stilling for him, so beguiling. She was trying so hard to be supportive and to understand his complexities. “Yes. I did. One day I just walked away.”

Jessie caressed his hand. “Well, then I hope you can enjoy your friends and I’ll…I’ll try and get closer to the women for you and for us.”

“This isn’t an order or some rule. I only want you to have an outlet. Okay?” Luke leaned over and gathered her into his arms, pulling her against his chest. He could tell how rapidly her heart was beating, the ragged thumps matching his own. As she nuzzled into him, he brushed his hand down through her long strands of hair, drinking in her sultry essence. He needed to finish the story, tell her every last detail, but right now he knew he was far too drained. The last part would have to wait until tomorrow.

She was moaning softly as she wrapped her arm around his neck. “I…love you.”

“Oh sweet Jezebel, I love you so much.” Luke lifted her and eased onto the couch. Cradling her body, he kissed the top of her head, every part of his body alive and on fire. He loved this woman so much he had no idea how to express his blatant desire for her and while he wanted nothing more than to ravage her body, tonight was more about closeness. No, tonight was all about his devotion for her.

Jessie tilted her head, the look in her eyes full of respect and passion. Very slowly she traced a circle around his mouth as a tiny whimper escaped hers. Smiling, she repeated the move several times. “You’re so handsome.”

Luke exhaled and took her hand into his. Lowering his head, he captured her mouth, instantly pressing his tongue past her lips. The taste of her was so sweet, so delicious and for a few minutes he indulged in the quiet peace of their love, their unrequited passion. This woman brought him joy, dragging him out of the darkness. As he broke the kiss he nipped her bottom lip and pushed her back gently. “Question. Do you still have your plug inside?”

Giving him a playful look, she nodded before
shifting, lifting the edge of her dress. “I can obey sometimes.”

He leaned over and sighed.
Seeing the tip of the plug that was buried in her ass gave him a huge smile. “I see that. Very good. I’ll be right back.” Easing out from under her, he kissed the top of her head before taking a step away.

Cocking her head, she sighed and
moved back against the couch. “I’ll be right here. I’ll never leave.”

The simple words tugged at his heart. Luke
moved toward their bedroom. Once inside he turned on the small light by the bedside and stood quietly, his thoughts all over the place. From where he stood he could see her collar, the beautiful jewel somehow sparkling in the dim lighting. He’d been so very wrong to take away her collar. There were few infractions ever that would warrant such a harsh punishment. His feet were heavy as he walked around the bed and retrieved the necklace. Holding the weighted piece in the palm of his hands, he marveled at how perfect the collar was for Jezebel, dazzling just like the woman.

When he walked back into the living room, the space now only lit by several candles, he grinned. “So I’m forgiven?”

“Only if I am.”

Luke walked toward her, his eyes never leaving hers. She knew what was in his hand and the instant she recognized the collar, tears sprung to her eyes.

“Sir…I…”

“
Ssshh… Come here, Jezebel.”

She stood and walked toward him, her entire body trembling. Tears slipped past her eyelashes, trickling down her cheeks.

“I should have never taken this off of you.”

“And I shou
ld be punished.”

“And you will be,” Luke whispered
. But he would do so when he was ready.

“Yes, Sir.” Lifting her hair, she turned around and the moment he placed the colla
r around her neck she moaned softly, tears slipping from her eyes.

Luke patted her shoulders and wrapped her arms around her waist, holding her back against his chest. His cock
ached, longing to be inside of her.

Jessie slid her arms up and around his neck, arching her back. “Thank you.”

At that very moment he was as happy as he’d ever been. As a single tear fell, he could hear a sigh of relief and it wasn’t his own.

****

Jessie stood on the deck, fingering the collar, her mind reeling once again over the information he’d told her last night. They’d spent the morning lounging in bed before he suddenly had to drive to his office for pick up some work. She had a sinking suspicion he needed to be alone for a little while. While his admission about the group of men and his fears had certainly been revealing, she honestly believe
d there was more to the story. And much more he was hiding. Maybe he just needed time in order to tell her. Sadly, her patience levels seemed less than normal. Her gut had been active, providing a series of suggestions about the woman he was continuing to keep private. Snooping and finding a single piece of paper with a first name only had proven to be painful, but needed. Information was powerful. What she did with the knowledge was something else.

She’d busied herself cleaning house and writing i
n her journal and now as the clock ticked four in the afternoon, she wondered what time he might be coming home. He’d told her she was going to be punished and since he was leaving again in the morning, she had a feeling tonight was the night. He wouldn’t make her wait for several days to torture her. Would he? No, Luke was many things but never cruel.

Taking a sip of her wine she eased into the deck chair, enjoying the
unusually warm spring weather. The day was cloudless, the bright sky allowing the sun to give a shimmer to everything in the back yard. She loved her home, now their home. The backyard was her haven, allowing her to think and meditate. This was her favorite place to write in her journal. She thought about what Luke had said. Maybe talking with other submissives would help.

Jessie certainly didn’t need to be challenged anymore than she’d already been. Hiding the fact she was living this lifestyle from pretty much everyone who knew her was trying, often difficult and she’d slipped up more than once. She had to wonder what certain people thought about some of her comments. Giggling, she knew she’d raised more than a single eyebrow these last few months.

She curled her legs under her and swirled her wine, longing for Luke to be sharing a quiet afternoon with her. Maybe on his return they could take a few days together, go somewhere special. Hmmm… Maybe she’d plan something special. Yes, that was a wonderful idea. Settling into the chair, she closed her eyes and savored the warmth of the sun. What a glorious day.

For a few minutes she remained in her dream like state until a subtle noise drew her attention. What was she hearing? Tilting her head, she craned her neck. There was definitely some odd music coming from inside the house. She rose from her chair and eased toward the door, highly doubting Luke was home yet. The closer she walked to the door the easier it was to tell the music was Hawaiian in nature and very corny. Now she giggled.
Luke was many things, but never a comedian.

When she walked inside she laughed. The kitchen table was adorned with pineapples and leis and the music was the worst rendition of Don Ho type music she’d ever heard. In the middle of the fluffy flowers was a card, the envelope a bright pink. Hmmm…

Jessie scanned the room. There was no sign Luke had gotten home, but she knew. The exotic scent of his cologne lingered in every corner. Licking her lips, she fumbled as she opened the envelope. “What?” Seeing the glossy brochure wasn’t shocking, but noticing the date of departure on the plane tickets was. “Two weeks?”

“That should give you enough time to go shopping, pack and get time off from work, don’t you think?”

Hearing his voice alone was enough to send a chill down her back. She loved his playful tone. As she lifted her head she grinned. Luke couldn’t have looked more gorgeous in his stunning charcoal grey pants and cobalt knit shirt, the thin material showing off every muscle. God, she was horny. “How can you do this?”

“How?” Luke asked as he walked closer.

“You said you had to work.”

“True and I am.”

“But?” She glanced through the brochure. The resort wasn’t just an exclusive club. The location catered to couples, engaging in teaching tantric sex as well as aspects of BDSM. The pictures alone were startling “Wow.”

“I thought this might be a wonderful way for us, not just you, to learn and enjoy together. And as far as work, I realized I own the company. About time I managed to take the perks afford
ed to an owner. Don’t you think?” Luke gathered her into his arms, swinging her around in a full circle.

“
Now that you put it that way… I love it. I can’t wait.”

“Good.” Lowering his head Luke kissed her as he wrapped his arm around her, patting her on the ass.

There was something so comforting about being in his powerful arms and as he drew her body tightly against his, she shivered from the feeling of his throbbing cock. When he broke the kiss she shuddered. “Thank you, Sir.”

“
Mmm…” He took a step back and glanced down the length of her.

She could see he was tense. “Is something wrong?”

“Not at all. It’s time for your punishment.”

While he was saying the very words she’d been longing to hear, she was surprised
the instant he said them she shivered. “Yes, Sir.”

Luke hesitated as he rubbed her arms. “I honestly don’t want to have to discipline you in such a harsh manner and I
realize that removing your collar wasn’t justified. You’ve had your own personal reasons to challenge me, some of which I understand. But right now, right here we’re going to make a pact with each other. Truth in all things. Deal?” Lifting her chin with a single finger, he remained unblinking.

These words were so defining, so honest and right now she wanted to cry from happiness. “Yes, Sir.”

“Excellent. Now go into the bedroom and remove your clothes. Lie down on the bed. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

For all the times they’d talked about the various levels of D/s relationships, from domestic discipline to the harsher aspects of bondage and Sadomasochism, this exact moment in time was much more defining. She was apprehensive, realizing she was going to be punished like a bad child, and yet that’s what her behavior had been akin to. Her challenge of his authority was undermining their relationship. She owed Luke the respect of obedience.

As Jessie
walked into the bedroom, she fought back tears. She wasn’t afraid of the pain. No, she would relish wearing stripes of her dishonor. Maybe then she could forgive herself. Removing her clothes seemed to take forever and if she plumped the pillows one more time she was going to scream.

Jessie stood looking at the open door, listening for his approach. Of course he would make her wait for a little while. He was her Dom after all. Sighing, she grew resigned to the punishment that was finally going to come. Finally. God, why had she been so persistent? Grousing to herself wasn’t going to do any good.

When the two pillows were under her stomach, pushing her naked ass into the air, she closed her eyes and tried to calm down.
You can do this. You need this and you know you do.
The little pep talk didn’t seem to be doing any good. After several agonizing minutes she realized she was sweating like a pig. And she couldn’t breathe.
Wow.
This was nuts. Just when she was about ready to lose her patience and bolt up off the bed, she heard his footsteps.

“Jezebel. Good girl.”

“Yes, Sir.”
God, oh God, oh…

“Do you understand why I’m going to punish you?” Luke asked as he walked to the side of the bed.

She blinked several times before looking up at him. “Yes, Sir. Complete disrespect.” The words seemed to startle him.

“Yes. I think you understand. I appreciate your honestly. Let’s get this over with so we can continue on our journey. I hope I won’t have to use my belt again.”

Nodding, Jessie clenched her eyes shut. She could hear such trepidation in his voice. Why had she pushed him this far? This had nothing to do with being punished. This push back had to do with her insecurity. What an idiot she was. As the sounds of him removing his belt, pulling the leather from his belt loops seemed to be magnified, she shivered to the core of her being. Nothing had prepared her for the nerves encasing every inch of her body. Nothing.

“Ten lashes and no more. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” Jessie gritted her teeth and kept her eyes closed.

Crack!

“Ooohhh…” The pain was intense, enough so she jerked up from the bed. Panting, she griped the comforter to keep from moving.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

Luke exhaled slowly.

Pop!

“
Aaahhh…” She could hear his strangled sounds mixing with hers. Dear God she was in agony. The pain was almost unbearable
. But you wanted this. You begged for this. You…

Crack!

Oh my fucking God.
“Ooooohhhh!” The tears flowed and Jessie squirmed, clenching the comforter as her ass burned.