Out of the Ashes (18 page)

The gown
is a one-shoulder design, the neckline plunging a bit on the opposite side of the strap to give the top an asymmetrical feel.  It perfectly accentuates my breasts.  The bodice is tightly fitted and the satin drapes my rear and hips in all the right ways.  Not overly done, a row of diamonds runs around the top of the dress along one edge of the shoulder.  In the boxes that came along with the dresses are several pairs of shoes, jewelry and of course lingerie to compliment each.  I find a pair of black Louboutin’s that will look stunning with the dress, not that you’ll be able to see them under the skirt.  Then there’s a green, a shade lighter than the dress, lace strapless bra.  The matching G-string has the waist done in diamond crystals, the same that run around the top of the dress.  I wonder at the comfort of it but trust Marlene to know what she’s doing.  I find a garter in the same color and a pair of nude silk stockings.  I don’t know what I’ll do for earrings yet but will search the boxes for those later.

The morning of the charity ball has arrived and Ian has a day of pampering planned for me.  Ian
truly spoils me so I spend most of the morning in the spa, starting first with a wax of everything, then moving on to a hot oil massage and facial.  Once that’s all complete, I make my way to the salon to have my hair, makeup and nails done.  While there I discreetly ask Philippe, the stylist, if it would be possible to touch up my hair.  I have it done regularly every six weeks but I figure a touch up won’t hurt.  “Miss, that’s no problem.”  He says in his thick French accent.  “The color is natural, lovely on you.  It is the color you were meant to have.”  With that he dives into my hair, touching up the color and giving it a slight cut.  He would have cut more but I insist on keeping it long.  When he’s finished it shines like silk and feels amazing; I don’t think my hair has ever had such a glow to it.  Giving me some loose curls and pinning part of the top to one side, he slides in a diamond-studded comb over the pins. Next my makeup is airbrushed on and my nails are buffed and lightly polished.

As I make my way back
upstairs, I feel slightly guilty for leaving Ian alone all day but this was amazing.  As I wait for the elevator, I pull out my phone to text Gavin.  When I finally got around to checking it yesterday morning, I had one very irate friend on my hands.  His final text from Thursday night said if he didn’t hear from me by morning he was calling the police and reporting me missing.  Such a drama queen.  I didn’t know how to explain what had happened between Ian and me so I told him to call me as soon as he had time.  He texted that he would but I had yet to hear from him.

When I enter
the room, I can hear Ian speaking to someone; even though his voice is hushed, he’s clearly angry.  As I approach his room, the volume grows.  “I told you not to come.  No, this isn’t about work and you know it.” 

“No, things are fine here
.”  Then almost yelling now, “Please tell me you didn’t come here.  I think I was very specific that you were to stay out of this.  As a matter of fact, I’ve explained it on several occasions over the last few months.  How many more times is it going to take for this to sink in?  No, don’t cry.  I understand but you…” The person on the other end cut him off and whatever they are saying is raising his temper even more.  “No, you wait one minute.  I’ll bring it up whenever the fuck I feel like it.  We’ve moved on or at least I thought we
both
had but you seem to be confused about where things are headed with us.”  Holy shit, he’s talking to another woman and he just referred to him and her as us.  My legs are shaky; I need to move to sit down before I fall down but I don’t want to miss out on the rest of the conversation.  Who could he be talking to?  “No, you have to stop.  There’s no one to blame for this situation but you and Patrick.”  After a few more moments, he yells out, “Because I was trying to help.  I thought we were past everything; I had forgiven you and you needed the job.  No, not anymore.  If you continue to behave this way, I’ll have no choice but to let you go.  So help me if you interfere with her…” His voice trails off.  He sounds sad now rather than angry; a deep, hurtful sadness.  “Please,” he says now almost pleading with whoever is on the phone, “you stole my happiness from me once, why can’t you let me have it now?” He takes the phone from his ear and with an excruciating sigh; he sinks into the wingback chair in the corner.  Despite everything I’ve heard, I want to run to him and put my arms around him, to comfort him.  He is so lost and broken in this moment.  I have no idea what has happened but want nothing more than to fix it.  But there’s no way to approach him without him knowing that I heard at least some of what was said so I quietly walk back out through the living room to my room and sit on my bed.

My mind is running at the speed of sound trying to come up with any expl
anation for his words.  It has to be an ex-girlfriend.  That’s really the only explanation but then that means he has an ex that works for him.  Wouldn’t that be too awkward?  If it’s not an ex, well, I really don’t even want to think about that as that only leaves one other explanation, another woman. I am insecure when it comes to this with him.  I’m not blind I see how other women look at him. I know how desirable he is and I know prior to us meeting he ran through woman like they were going out of style.  Thinking back to his behavior with Rebecca, it seems his friendly nature can be misinterpreted though we weren’t together then so maybe that will change now, with her at least. I try very hard not to jump to conclusions but with my racing mind, my anger is building.  I march over to his room and enter with a light tap, in case he is on the phone again.  He’s still in the chair only now looking out the window.  He turns towards me as I enter and then quickly back to the window.  It’s almost as if he knows I was there, listening to every word.  The guilt of his conversation is clearly written on his face.  I feel the crack start to reappear in my heart.  “Ian, what’s going on?  I heard you on the phone just now.  Please just be honest with me and tell me.”

His face turns
ghostly pale for a moment and then he quickly recovers.  I can tell he hadn’t meant for me to see that.  “Celeste, I promise you nothing is going on.  I’m not sure what you heard but I’m just having a… personnel problem at work.  Connor thought he had it handled but apparently he didn’t so I have had to step in.  I promise that’s all.”  He still won’t meet my gaze.  I want to believe him but what I heard sounded much more like a lover’s quarrel than a problem with an employee.  I want to know the truth.  “Ian, please don’t…” I have to stop myself.  Kettle calling pot… Hello, pot.  What am I doing?  How can I possibly hold it against him for keeping this from me?  How can I mistrust him?  Here I stand indignant and demanding the truth when I am lying daily and keeping a secret that would shatter everything I have worked to build.  He finally gets up and comes to me, holding me tightly against him.  Without meeting his penetrating stare, I ask him the one question that I must know the answer to.  “Is there someone else?”  Shock covers his features and I have my answer.  “Celeste, I would never… I can’t… How could… Sweetheart, you and me remember?  No one else.  I promise you.  It’s only you, will only ever be you.”  I can see the truth radiating from his eyes.  His amazing eyes that allow him to see into the depths of me.  I only hope he won’t go too deep because what he would find would probably destroy him too.

He gives me a soft kiss.  “Now you better finish getting ready; the car will be here soon.  I had them place your gowns and bags in my room I hope that’s okay.”  I smile and head in to change. 

Ian is coming out of the walk-in closet as I am fastening my stockings.  Standing in my heels, slightly bent at the waist so my rear sticks out a little as I put the clasps around the silk.  I feel him come up behind me.  “Have I ever told you how much I love these?”  He says running his hand up the stockings to the garter.  “It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”  His voice is thick with desire.  He pulls back slightly to examine me.  “I see you’ve chosen the green dress.”  He smiles. 

“Oh, Ian, I didn’t think you
’d seen the dresses.  I was trying to surprise you.”  I’m acting more disgruntled than I truly am but truth be told, I am a little disappointed; I really did want to surprise him. 

“I haven’t seen anything,
gorgeous.  Merely a guess by the color of your underwear.  And though I know what colors the dresses came in, my mother was very specific that I wasn’t to be nosy and look through them; she wants this to be your decision.  Though I also happen to know that, whatever it may look like, the green is the one that she custom made for you.”  My eyes widen.  A custom made gown…  Oh lord, that means…  I need to sit down.  “That’s right, sweetheart.  One of a kind; just like you.” 

A sudden realization hits me, “Ian
, does your mother know about us?” 

“Celeste
, like all of the female sex, my mother is blessed with intuition; it just so happens that hers works better than most.  She knew when you bought the first dress that my interest in you went beyond your skills at work.  There’s no need for me to tell her.  But a little secret between you and me,” he says with a wink, “when she dropped off that first dress to my office, she told me not to let you get away.”  With that, he walks back to the closet to put on his tie and jacket.

“Um, Ian
?” I call out to him after a few minutes.  “Could you help me with this?”  Once again I have the dress on and partially zipped but cannot finish the rest on my own.  I really must ask Marlene about putting in a side zip. 

“Why
, of course, love, I’d be more than happy to help.”  He drops a kiss between my shoulder blades as he finishes zipping the dress.  “You are absolutely stunning.”  He whispers into my ear sending a shudder through my body.  “I have no idea how you do it but you get more beautiful every time I see you.” 

“Ian, if you keep that up we won’t make it anywhere tonight.”  I whisper in return
, my voice full of desire.  He turns me to meet his eyes and I am entranced by him. 

“
That would be just fine with me.”  He drops a kiss to my mouth.  “But I really want to show you off.”  Reaching in his pocket he pulls out a small black velvet box, my heart momentarily stutters. “I have something for you.”  He says as he opens it revealing the most beautiful diamond teardrop earrings I have ever seen.  “Will you wear them tonight?”  There’s a goofy smile on my face as I nod my head yes but I can’t find the words.  I try to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over.  “Celeste, these were supposed to make you happy, not make you cry.” 

I shake my head at him again, taking a deep breath to recover my voice. 
“I’m not sad; this is the most happy I have ever been in my life.”  He pulls me into his arms and I lay my head on his shoulder.  We stand like that for several minutes neither of us saying anything, just holding each other.  I desperately want to tell him everything and give him my love; but there’s no way he’ll be able to accept it all.  He won’t be able to love me after he finds out about everything I did. I’m stuck in this place; I can’t tell him I love him until he knows everything and once he knows everything, there’s no way he will ever love me in return.

Shaking these thoughts from my head, I look up into his eyes again and kiss him passionately.  “Will you put them in for me?” 

“As I’ve said anything for you.”

As the car pulls up to the ballroom, I am stunned by its opulence.  Everything is done in gold and black giving meaning to the word regal.  We make our way inside a
nd down the stairs; Ian greets several people as we pass.  He walks us over to the bar and gets us each a glass of champagne.  “To you, sweetheart.” He says as he touches his glass to mine and we both drink.  At some point in my life, I must have been very good for fate to send this man into my life. Either that or fate is a cruel, fickle bitch and has only sent him to me to rip him away.  My money is on cruel, fickle bitch but I plan to enjoy this ride as long as it lasts.

We walk around mingling with people until dinner.  I quite enjoy being on Ian’s arm as he works the room.  Don’t misunderstand, I’m no twit that wants to be his arm candy; but with Ian, I feel comfortable.  He
’s very inclusive of me in the conversations and it gives me more of an insight into this man that has captivated my whole heart.  At dinner, we sit with three other couples; two of which must already know each other as they keep laughing and making jokes at one another.  The mood is very jovial and soon we are all talking and laughing like old friends.  I can’t remember when I’ve had a better evening.  I place my hand on Ian’s thigh and give a little squeeze in appreciation.

The emcee then announces that the bachelor auction will begin in a few minutes and would the volunteers please make their way to the stage.  Ian goes to stand and I gasp, shocked.  “You volunteered?”  I don’t want to sound as sad as I do but the thought of him out with someone else even if it is for charity twists my insides in knots. 

“Well, you’re welcome to bid too.  If you win, I promise there will be something extra special for you at the end of the evening.”  He drops a kiss to the top of my head and makes his way to the stage.

Ian is third in line and when the announcer gets to him, he works the catwalk like this is as natural to him as breathing.  “Ladies
, Mr. Ian Jacobs.  One of the world’s most eligible bachelors.  But you better get in on this now, ladies, because rumor has it he won’t be on the market much longer so this could be your last chance.  So what am I bid?”  I have mentally calculated my accounts and know what I can bid without taking away all the security I have.  Bidding starts out at $100 but is quickly up to $1000; at that point the field is narrowed considerably.  At $5000 it becomes just me and two other women; one of whom I can see but the other is hidden from my view.  I can see Ian starting to sweat it out on stage and can tell he worried about what I am doing.  At $10,000, the war is between the invisible woman and me.  Finally tired of playing the game, I simply shout out “$25,000”.  The other woman does not counter my bid.  I let out a sigh of relief that she doesn’t challenge me as that is the most I could have bid.  Then I make my way to the stage to collect my prize, reveling in my win.