Out of the Ashes (22 page)

“
Well, you can’t be mad at me anymore, seeing as you have Mr. Hot Bouncer.  Now go buy me a drink.”  I shoo him away from the table up to the bar.  Music is thumping through my body and I’m called to the dance floor but I wait for Gavin to return.  “So how did you score all this? Reservations at one of the city’s most exclusive restaurants and now VIP access to Webster Hall.” 

“Oh
doll, I told you, I have my ways.”  He winks at me and that’s all the answer I get.  “Now drink up because I want to hit the dance floor.”  I’m already warm from the sake and this drink goes down way too easy.  I’ll have to pace myself if I’m going to make it through the night coherent.  After a few more minutes, we head to the dance floor. 

Somehow in the sea of bodies, Tyler, aka Mr. Hot Instructor, finds us.  He smiles as he slides over toward me giving Gavin a wave.  “This place is crazy,” he shouts over the thumping bass.  “I looked for you at the bar but couldn’t find you.” 

“Sorry, Gavin somehow scored VIP access.  Come back to the booth and have a drink?” 

A lazy smile plays on his lips.  “Sure.”  It’s a little quieter off the dance floor and definitely less sweaty but
my legs still move to the beat as we order a couple drinks and head to the table.  It’s hard not to think of the last time I was in a club like this and the things that Ian and I did.  But I’m not going to let
him
ruin my night.  Tyler turns toward me and places his hand on the small of my back; the gesture is casual but I still stiffen slightly at his touch. 

Only 24
hours ago, I would have had to worry about Tyler’s safety; now there’s no one to stop him but me and frankly I don’t have the energy.  Tyler’s a nice guy and very nice to look at on top of it.  We chat a little bit about his work at the gym, where not only does he teach yoga but he works as a personal trainer.  When the conversation moves to my job, I’m not sure what to say but technically I didn’t get fired and I didn’t quit so I guess I still work there.  “I’m Ian Jacobs’ personal assistant.” 

“Really,” he says and I can tell he knows exactly
whom I’m talking about.  “I’ve heard he’s quite the ladies man, any truth to that?”  I’m not sure what he’s fishing for but he won’t be getting any stories from me. 

“I really wouldn’t know.  I’m just the assistant.”  Tyler looks down at me but he’s staring more at my lips than anything else.  I know what’s coming and I can’t tell if I want to stop it or not.  It would be so nice to move on, f
orget Ian and just lose myself in this man. But that is just not possible.  Ian is ingrained in me, burned into my very soul and there will be no getting rid of him.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be free of his spell and that just makes this even harder because there’s no way I can be with a man who would lie to me.  The irony of that statement isn’t lost on me but it doesn’t change the fact that there’s something between him and Rebecca that he didn’t tell me about.

Before I can
say anything else, I feel the air change.  “Oh sweetheart,” I hear him purr into my ear, “you have to know you are so much more than that.”  His fingers brush my neck and down my arm.  Chill bumps break out over my skin and the familiar tingle he always causes hums through my body.

What the hell?  Ian extends his hand to Tyler, “Ian
Jacobs.”  Somehow he manages to introduce himself with a smile.  His calm composure has my head spinning.  I didn’t think it would be that easy for him to dismiss me from his life but maybe everything he said was nothing but pretty words. “And you are?” 

“
Tyler Mason.  Nice to meet you.”  He grasps Ian’s hand, giving him a firm handshake. 

Turning to me, Ian
says, “Celeste, would you like to dance?” 

“Thanks but
as you can see, I’m having a drink with Tyler.”  I can’t, no I won’t, do this here.  How did he know where I was?  Oh god, this night just crashed and burned and now I’m putting poor Tyler in the middle.  While he is nice, there’s no way there could be anything between us not when my heart still belonged to the god standing on my left.  I feel guilty for letting Tyler believe that there could be more here. 

“Oh I’m sure Tyler will be fine.  Just a couple songs.” 

“Ian, is it?” Tyler says though he knows very well who this is; is he trying to rile him up?  “I believe she said she wants to stay here.”  Oh please, Tyler you have no idea what you’re getting into; just stay out of it. 

“I do believe I was talking to Celeste.” Ian growls. 
The calm façade he possessed earlier cracked before my eyes and the anger that was smoldering beneath permeated the air.  “Now if you would please remove your hand from my girlfriend; she and I have some things to discuss.” 

Tyler’s mouth drops open.  He looks straight at me, “You didn’t mention that you were seeing someone.” 

“That’s because I’m not.” I say looking straight at Ian.  “Some people just don’t seem to understand when to quit.”  Ian flashes me his panty-dropping smile and as quickly and quietly as he appeared, he leaves the table.  I see him head across the VIP area to another table.  Has he been sitting there all night?  I didn’t notice him when we came in but then again I was quite distracted by the fact that we’re in the VIP area.

Tyler breaks the tension that now surrounds us, “Well that was… awkward.”

“Yeah, sorry.  I should have been more upfront with you.  I think you’re a really nice guy but I’m still dealing with the fallout from my last relationship.” I say nodding my head to Ian.  “I am enjoying hanging out with you tonight though.”  I smile hoping that will be good enough. 

“No, I get it.  No pressure.  I just wanted to spend some time with you.  Should we go dance or do you think that will cause more problems?” 

“I think he’s taken the hint for now, so yes, let’s dance.”  He grabs my hand and leads me to the dance floor.  I can practically hear the steam coming out of Ian’s ears.  Tyler knows how to move, not as good as Ian, but the man can dance.  The longer we’re on the floor the less space there seems to be between our bodies.  He grabs onto my hips and pulls me back against him.  The feeling of him isn’t the familiar warmth my body is craving.  I find myself wishing for Ian’s hands, for Ian’s body to be the one molded to mine.  As I continue to dance with Tyler I can’t help but glance to where Ian’s sitting.  But he’s no longer there.  Feeling a little disappointed, I excuse myself to find the bathroom.  Emotions I’ve worked hard all day to keep at bay threaten to spill over.  I can’t break down here; besides what good would it do anyway.

I walk down the long corridor to the bathroom as I round a corner I hear a woman giggle.  “Stop, not here.” 

“Yes, here,” says the man with her.  I can just make out their silhouettes but from their position it’s very clear what is about to happen.  Feeling a little like a creeper for just standing there, I start to turn away.  “You like that don’t you, sweetheart?”  I hear him say.  I would know that voice anywhere.  He must hear my heels on the floor because Ian looks up from his companion and his eyes meet mine.  A smile plays on his lips but I simply turn and walk back down the hall.

After a few steps, I find I
’m running back toward the dance floor.  I find Gavin and frantically explain that I need to leave right now.  He’s a little disappointed but takes me out and we get in a cab.  Once in the cab, I can no longer contain my hysteria.  It pours out of me and I’m mess before we get home.  Gavin doesn’t ask what happened; he just helps me inside and into bed.  I lie there awake most of the night replaying the scene in my head.  Remembering what we’d done in the club in London, I’m once again overcome by grief and loss.  How could he do that with someone else so soon?  The answer is already in front of me.  For him, there was never really anything between us.  That realization causes the sobs to come harder from my chest.  I fear I’ll drown in my own tears and sadness.

The next morning Gavin wakes me with a carton of Ben and Jerry’s and two spoons.  “So are you ready to tell me what happened last night?” 

I take a large scoop of the ice cream and slowly lick it off the spoon.  “Ian was there.” I say with a sigh. 

“Well
, New York is big but you are bound to run into him and if I’m not mistaken, you still work for him.  So you can’t break down like that every time you see him.  Or you’ll have to quit your job.” 

“
I saw him...” I don’t even know how to say the words. “...with someone else.  In the hallway on the way to the bathroom, they were… Well I’ll let you just use your imagination.”  Tears threaten to take over again and huge sobs wrack my body.  The bigger problem is the picture of him and her is branded into my consciousness.  I see it clear as day and if I happen to close my eyes the whole things plays over in my mind.  Suddenly my sadness shifts and borders on anger.  How dare he? 

“Oh
shit, I can’t believe he would do that.  I’m so sorry.”  He smooth’s my hair as he talks to me. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Gav.  This isn
’t your fault.  I’m the one who gave him my heart.”  Gavin’s face is downcast.  “What?”  I ask him. 

“I told him.” 

“You what?”  I try to control my voice but it comes out as a yell anyway.  What did he tell him?  How much did he tell him? 

“I’m sorry Celeste.  Please don’t be mad.  He called me yesterday while you were changing. 
Like the wonderful friend that I am, I told him to go fist himself.”  He grins at his own joke but I’m definitely not laughing.  “Then he said it was all a misunderstanding and he just needed some time with you.  To explain.  He sounded so sincere and I knew how badly you were hurting.  I thought at the very least this would give you some closure and there was the chance that he was telling the truth about it all being a misunderstanding.”  Oh thank god, he’s talking about telling Ian where I would be last night and not anything else.  I feel relief but at the same time, betrayed even more because clearly Ian didn’t need to explain anything to me.  He just wanted to rub my nose in the fact he can clearly have anyone he wants.

“Well,
I hope you see now that there’s no misunderstanding.  As for closure, I think him fucking some other woman against a wall while I watch is all the closure I need.”

~

Gavin still insists that we attend Marlene’s party.  After last night, all I want is to be as far from Ian as possible.  Slowly but surely though Gavin wears through my defenses.  “Darling, fuck him.  You don’t need that from any man.  You can’t let him dictate your life.  Marlene loves you, Ian or no Ian.  And she would want to see you on her birthday.  So we should go.  You don’t have to talk with him and we don’t have to stay late.  Go for Marlene, go for you.  And don’t worry about him.  The last place he would want to make a scene is at his mother’s birthday.” 

Gavin’s points are all valid but it
’s not Ian I’m worried about.  It’s me.  What if I get there and he has a date with him?  What if he brings Rebecca?  All these what ifs spin through my head but Gavin is right.  I cannot allow our breakup to dictate my life.

Gav
in has one more surprise for me as we get ready.  “I may have picked up something for you last week.  The designer insisted I give it to you.”  I look at the dress; gorgeous does not even begin to describe it.  It’s a one shoulder with a cut out in the strap.  It’s lavender with a black lace overlay.  With the short length, the dress is the perfect combination of class and sexy.  I check out the tag to see what designer would have given him a dress for me.  I should’ve known, MJ Designs.  Well I don’t care; the dress is fantastic and I’ll wear it and have a great time.

I slip my feet into the lavender Louboutin’s that I splurged on to match
the dress.  Then Gavin and I go out to meet the car that Marlene sent over for us.  “It was so nice of Marlene to go to all this trouble.  I know it’s quite a drive out to her house but we could have hired our own car.”

“This is just how she is.  Her daughter is the same way.  Actually it was Claire that arranged the car.  I’m sure Ian mentioned that she put the whole party together.  She really out did herself and didn’t forget a thing, right down to car service for guests that would need it.
”  I have to admit I’m excited to get to meet Claire.  I wish it were under different, better, circumstances but if she’s as much like Marlene as Gavin said we will get along fabulously.

As
the car pulls up the circle drive and stops in front of the expansive house, the valet helps us out and then ushers us into the house.  Everything is beautiful.  Every surface is covered in sheer white cloth that sparkles like diamonds.  The chandelier in the foyer has been polished to shine like the stars.  It’s definitely opulent but the whole thing screams Marlene.  Her daughter perfectly captured the essence of Marlene in the decorations for the evening. Elegantly appointed waiters make their way through the crowd with trays of champagne and hors’d’oeuvres.  Out the French doors that lead to the patio, I see the band setting up for dancing later in the evening. 

Dinner’
s an ‘intimate’ gathering of 60 or so and the rest of the guests will arrive later for the party.  I have to admit that I’m nervous for the dinner.  Since there are so few people I know I’ll have to see Ian.  As Gavin and I make our way into the dining room, I’m greeted by a loud squeal.  “Oh my dear, I am so happy to see you here.” 

I hug the smiling woman and g
ive her a kiss on the cheek.  “Happy Birthday, Marlene.  I wouldn’t miss this for anything.”