Out of the Ashes (30 page)

“Celeste, you have to tell me what’s going on.  This is way more than Rebecca, as if that shit wasn’t bad enough.  Please, sweetheart.  I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.”  That’s the tricky thing, isn’t it?  Can I let him in at all?  And if I do where do I stop?  Shit
, will I be able to stop?  Too much has happened tonight for me to pretend that nothing is wrong but I simply don’t know where to begin. 

“Ian, I… I don’t know what to say.  A few years ago life thr
ew a massive curveball at me and I guess, I’m not dealing with the fall out as well as I thought I was.  Or maybe it’s this.” I gesture between him and me and he gives me a puzzled look.  “I haven’t let anyone besides Gavin in for a very long time and even then I kept him at arms length.  Now I have you and I see a future for me, for us.  And I’m scared. Scared to let you in, scared you won’t like what you see but most of all scared of what will happen when he finds me.”  Without going into specifics or using names, I tell him about the man that changed my life forever and not for the better.  The abuse, the things he made me do for his pleasure, the threats that kept me there.

“Now when he finds me things will be that much worse because I have people that I care
about and he will use them to hurt me.” 

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”  I can tell he is trying to control his anger because I can hear it in voice.  “You have to know that the anger and disgust I
’m feeling at this moment has nothing to with you.  It’s all directed at him.  I want to rip the bastard’s throat out.  God, how could anyone have done this to you?  Celeste, sweetheart, look at me.  I need you to know that you are not weak.  Staying didn’t make you weak and neither did leaving.  You are my stunning, brave girl.  Please, I need you to understand that.  If I look at you any differently now it’s because I am in awe that you could have gone through all that and still be as perfect as you are.”  I’m crying again.  His words have cut me open and laid me bare in front of him.

“Ian,” I whisper against his lips.  “Please
, Ian I need you.  Wash him from my mind.” 

“Celeste, there
’s nothing I would like to do more than take every bad thing that happened to you away, but I can’t.  Not like this.  Please, I need to hold you.  I need to feel you next to me.  But I can’t do that, not now.  You need to know that when we are together there’s only us.  I don’t want him even in your mind when I make love to you.”  Pulling my back into his chest, he wraps his arms tighter around me and lays us down.  “Celeste, you must promise me that you will never do something like that again.  When I saw you with that bottle… The thought of losing you is more than I can handle.  And seeing you so broken…  Sweetheart, it fucking broke my heart.  I need you; I can’t lose you.  And
I
won’t let anything happen to you or let anyone hurt you.  I know it’s hard for you to understand right now but I promise I will do everything to ensure that he never hurts you again.”  In his arms, I feel completely peaceful, protected like just his comforting words could keep all the pain away, like I’m finally home.

The night after my confession to Ian, I have a long talk with Gavin.  He agrees that with everything with Rebecca and my fear of being found that it’s for the best that I stay with Ian.  “Gav, you have to know that I love him.  I would go even if there weren’t any crazies out there looking for me.” 

“Darling, I know.  I didn’t mean it like that.  It’s just…  The man loves you; he would lay down his life for you.”  Without knowing it
, Gavin has landed on my biggest fear; I know this about Ian but could not endure if something happened to him especially if it were because of me.

~

I’m so excited to see the house that I’m practically bouncing in my seat.  I knew the apartment wasn’t Ian’s “permanent” residence but it’s the only place I’ve ever stayed.  When we pull up to the gate, I’m stunned.  Connor enters the code and we make our way up the stone drive to the beautiful Tudor style mansion.  The house has everything; five bedrooms plus master suite, six baths, a spacious sunken living room, billiard room, office, elegant dining room, gourmet kitchen, full gym, and indoor and outdoor pools.  The master bedroom is devastatingly beautiful.  All dark hardwood flooring to match the furniture.  Sheer fabric drapes the bed like at the apartment only this time in white and when the light hits them, they give off just a hint shimmer.  There’s a large walk-in closet with a dressing room and then the bathroom.  I’m not really sure you could call it a bathroom though, spa maybe; it’s got to be half the size of Gavin’s whole apartment.  All marble and travertine tiles, with his and hers floating sinks.  A waterfall shower with multiple jets but the thing that really had my attention was the sunken spa tub that was probably big enough for 4 people.  I couldn’t wait to sink down into it with some of those bath oils that ran along the edge.

Ian’s breath
es in my ear, “Do you like it?” 

“Ian, it’s the most beautiful house I have ever seen.” 

“Even more than my mother’s?”  He smiles at me.  We finish the tour back in the kitchen and Ian opens the wine fridge and pours me a glass.  “Love, I think we should live here.”  He’s tentative unsure of what my reaction will be.  “I think we need a home and I can keep you safer here.  Security here is state of the art and Connor is working to hire someone to drive you and act as your security detail.” 

“Ian, I would love to live
here but what about the commute?  In heavy traffic, it could take you over an hour to get to the office.  And then I would have to get a car.  Not that I’m complaining it might be nice to have one again but…”

He cuts me off.  “You don
’t need a car and I don’t care about the commute.  I can work from here and in the car on the way there.” 

“Okay I see that but Ian, I will need a car.” 

“No, with the additional security you’ll have a driver or you’ll ride with me.”  I want to roll my eyes but he’s only doing what he thinks is best. 

“
I don’t know about all this security.  I mean if you’re worried about Rebecca, I definitely don’t think all this is necessary.  She has threatened me several times.  But do you really think she’s capable of something like that?  And if this is about
him,
well…  We have already discussed all of this but there’s nothing that will keep him from me if he finds me and wants me back.  You think you can keep me safe but you can’t and I won’t have you at risk to keep me safe.”

“Celeste, look at me.  I need you to understand how serious I am about this and about us.  He will never touch you again.  I
’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe from him and any other threats to your safety.  This is not up for debate.”  Oh, I’ve woken the caveman.  Next he’ll be taking his club out to bring home dinner for me to cook. 

I laugh inwardly and smile at him.  “
Have I told you today how much I love you?” 

“You have but I don’t ever get tired of hearing it.” 

“I love you, Ian Paul Jacobs.  Now there’s a lot of space here so if we are going to christen this place properly then we better get started.”  There’s a mischievous glint in my eyes. 

“Sweetheart, are you trying to kill me?”  He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me across the entryway and up the stairs to our room.
Our room, oh, I like the sound of those words.  We make love for hours before finally falling asleep in each other’s arms.

The movers have been busy.
I really only had my clothes to move as I didn’t have a lot of stuff at Gavin’s; at least I didn’t think I did.  However, by the time they were done, my side of the enormous closet was almost full.  “Holy hell, woman.  Do you have a shopping addiction you’ve been hiding from me?”  His joy in having me here is unmistakable.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so much.  Unfortunately all the happiness only makes me more anxious; I’m just waiting for it all to come crashing down. 

“Ian, stop it.”  I swatted him lightly on the arm. 

“Well, how am I supposed to buy you anything if your closets already full?” 

“M
r. Jacobs, I don’t want you to buy me anything.  I have you; that is plenty, sometimes more than I can handle.” 

“I think you, um, handled me very well this morning.” 

“I did, didn’t I?” 

“Hmm…  Well
, my memory might need some refreshing as to just how well you handled me.” 

I walk across the room holding his gaze.  Those blue eyes are my complete undoing; I don’t want to ever look away.  I stop in front of him and slowly start undoing the buttons on his shirt.  His lips part and he runs his tongue along his bottom lip.  His breathing has increased and his eyes are growing darker.  Never losing his eyes, I remove his shirt and run my hands over his taut chest.  I take my time exploring running my hands over his biceps.  I feel his muscles flex under my touch.  I bend down and run my tongue over his eight pack and up his chest
tasting his salty sweetness.  When I’m back at his mouth, I don’t wait as I plunge my tongue into his mouth.  He wraps his tongue around mine and my hands fist in his hair.  I feel his fingers running through my loose waves and then trail lightly down my spine. 

I
’ll never get enough of him; this man is the air I breathe.  Breaking our kiss, I lock onto his eyes again, running my tongue over my lips.  My hands reach down and slowly begin to undo his belt and push down his pants.  I motion for him to sit; placing my palms on his thighs I lower myself slowly in front of him, removing his shoes and socks before pulling his pants off the rest of the way.  Ian looks fabulous in his Armani suits but he looks even better out of them.  I give him a nudge to lift his hips as I peel his boxer briefs down his legs.  “Well now that you have me here, Ms. Brooks, what are you going to do with me?” 

I simply smile down at him.  “You stay there.  If you move I’m going to find another use for all those ties you have in the closet.” 

His smile spreads at my threat.  “Yes, ma’am.”  I carefully remove my jacket and then begin on the buttons of my top.  Agonizingly slow, I’m not even sure I can handle the torture.  I stare at his body as his cock throbs wanting me but I am going to make him wait.  Finally I reach the last button, but I don’t push it from my shoulders.  I let it hang there, open, giving him small glimpses of what’s beneath as I start to work the zipper of my skirt down.  When the skirt is in a pool at my feet, I push my top down my arms so it joins the skirt on the floor.  This is where it gets tricky; the odds of him staying seated much longer without restraints aren’t very good.  So I turn, knowing he finds the view from behind just as enticing as the one from the front, and walk to the dressing room.  I pick two ties and drape them around my neck so he knows that I’ll make good on my threat if he doesn’t behave.  “Ms. Brooks if this how we’re going to play, I think I might have to reprimand you for your behavior today.”  I don’t say anything; just walk back so I’m standing in front of him.

I bend down very slowly, my body turned to one side so he gets the full effect of the bend, and undo the clasps from one stocking then move to the other. 
“You’re fucking killing me, sweetheart.”  His jaw is clenched; and I’m testing his self-control probably more than I should. 

“Patience, my love.”  I
continue with my strip tease working the stockings one at a time down my legs and then shimmying out of the garter belt.  I unclasp my bra and using my arms as cover for my breasts, remove the bra.  I slowly let my arms drop to my sides allowing him full view of my breast; my nipples achingly erect.  I part my lips and inhale as I slide my hands down first into my panties and then I push them down.  I stand for a moment in front of him naked except for the ties draped around my neck.  Like a lioness stalking her pray, I climb up onto the bed and move over his body.

This is when his patience
runs out.  He grabs my hips and flips us so that I am underneath him.  “So my girl wants to play?”  He says it lightly but I can see the question in his eyes.  He’s been very careful to make sure I’m okay with everything since the night of my confession. 

“Ian, please.”  That’s all I can manage.  My desire is turning me into one giant ball of nerves. 

“In that case, Ms. Brooks, I think I’ll make use of these.  He takes each wrist and using a tie, restrains me tying them to the bedposts.  Now I’m the one who can’t touch; with Ian, the sensation of being restrained is more erotic.  I can feel the wetness grow between my thighs.  “Oh you like that.  I can see it in how your breathing quickens, your pupils dilate, and your body responds to me.”  His eyes run the length of my body but he doesn’t touch me.  Then his mouth is on mine.  His kiss is ferocious.  Then his mouth is on my neck and then at my ear.  “Sweetheart, tell me you know how I feel about you.” 

“Yes, Ian.  Oh god!” 
This is not the answer he’s looking for but if he’s going to torture me then I’m going to give it right back to him.  His breath against my skin is almost more than I can handle.  

“Now Ms. Brooks, you know that isn
’t the answer I want.  Am I going to have to show you?”  I pull my lower lip in with my teeth and nod at him.  “Okay if that’s how you want to play.”  His mouth starts to trail south.  Nibbling my neck and then over the swell of my breasts.  He lightly bites down on each nipple before running his tongue over each of them in turn.  “I think it’s time I marked you again.”  He takes one breast in his mouth and then bites down hard.  At jolt runs through me, straight to my soaked pussy.  I let out a light scream at the pain and pleasure of this act.