Perfect Contradiction (8 page)

“Remind me of all the reasons why we won’t work out,” he said softly.

I couldn’t. The same reason that said we wouldn’t work out was the exact same one that told me we had a fighting chance. The baby could break us or the baby could bond us. It was all a confusing jumble of contradictions. His kisses scattered what wits I had left to the four corners of the earth, and I melted into him. Too many fevered kisses and several buttons of my top undone later, Hunter’s cell phone rang, effectively snapping me out of the madness I was quickly slipping into. I put a hand up and gently pushed Hunter back. He took a step back, his eyes hooded in desire, his lips still perfectly kissable. I shook my head and grasped ahold of the only thing I could think of at the moment.

“Was that your girlfriend?” I asked, trying to put more space between myself and the man I wanted desperately. Hunter’s head whipped back like I’d struck him.

“Girlfriend?” he asked in a low, calm voice.

I turned and put a lid on the container of goodies I had been preparing for Hunter. “Blonde, long legs…
beautiful
?” I reminded him harshly. Still he stared at me like I’d grown two heads. “The woman you were with at
Hot Diggity Dogs
a few weeks back,” I prompted, my head starting to pound.

“You were in St. Louis?” Hunter accused instead, effectively dodging my question.

Uh-huh
. “Yeah. I had some things to pick up for the inn, so I swung by to see you,” I said, not looking at him as I began straightening up my already immaculate kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, oblivious.
Just like a dude
.

“Umm, hello? The blonde bombshell you were kissing wasn’t enough of a clue?” I asked.

Hunter blinked. He looked angry and hurt.

I felt confused. “Can you tell me you aren’t seeing her? That I made a mistake?” I asked. Dear God, my voice had sounded hopeful. I hated myself for that.

“No, I can’t say that,” Hunter answered evenly.

I nodded, unable to trust myself to speak. “That’s what I figured,” I muttered a few seconds later.

“You should have come up to me, Jen,” Hunter said again.

I rolled my eyes.

“Sometimes life has a way of making me think that God is just playing one big, cosmic joke on me,” he said. He sounded as tired and emotionally drained as I felt.

“Listen, Hunter, I’ve had a long day and I have to get up really early to bake,” I started. I held out the container of sweets I made for him. Reaching out, he took it from me. He turned and took a step toward the kitchen door. My heart felt even heavier if that was at all possible. I felt like we were on a precipice and whatever we said and did in this moment was going to change everything between us. Hunter spoke first.

“I’ve decided to take a more permanent position in the family business,” he said. Hunter’s family not only owned farmland, but they also owned a thriving movie theater business that spanned several cities in Missouri. “I’m almost finished with my business degree, and I guess I should just go ahead and put it to good use.”

“That’s… great, Hunter,” I said.
What did that mean exactly
? I wondered.

“Yeah. I’ll be moving to St. Louis permanently tomorrow and doing a lot of traveling,” he said with his back to me.

“Wait. What?” I asked.

“I’ll be taking over most of the business. My dad wants to phase himself out of the movie theater business. He’s busy enough with the farm and the church as it is. He asked me tonight if I would consider taking over.”

My mind was spinning. Hunter would be gone from Salem on a permanent basis. I sucked in a sharp breath. It hurt even more when things worked out like I hoped they would. With Hunter gone, it would make things easier on me when people found out I was pregnant, easier to keep it from him, and easier to pretend I knew what I was doing. Still, to hear him say he was going to be gone permanently hurt me on a level I didn’t realize was possible.

“I don’t know what to say,” I answered truthfully. “I never thought you’d leave Salem.”

Hunter turned and smiled sadly. “Neither did I.”

“So, this is goodbye for now then?” I asked, suddenly unsure of everything I’d been so sure of a few hours before.

“This is goodbye,” he confirmed.

I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. His eyes closed as I reached up to kiss him on the cheek. “I wish you the best, Hunter,” I whispered.

He took a deep, shuddering breath and pulled me to him in an embrace. “And I wish the same for you too, Jen,” he whispered back. He pulled back and walked away from me without looking back. I locked up behind him and got everything ready for the rest of my week at the inn.

Planning and organizing kept my busy.

Keeping busy kept my mind off everything I didn’t want to think about.

And that was all I could handle right then.

“To be honest, I have no idea how you’ve kept
that
a secret as long as you have,” Beth said, motioning to my rounded tummy.

I turned this way and that, looking at myself in the mirror. “Well, it’s cold out now, so I’ve gotten away with it by layering, wearing a sweater over my clothing, and avoiding going out of the house unless it’s absolutely necessary,” I said, running a hand over my stomach and the long-sleeved dress I wore. It was soft, comfortable, and it accentuated the one thing I’d been hiding for the past three months—my big, ‘ole baby bump. I was just sick and tired of it. Here I was a few weeks away from my final trimester and I hadn’t had any tummy pictures taken, I hadn’t bought any pretty maternity clothing, and I hadn’t enjoyed a single moment of my pregnancy journey… all because I didn’t want people to start talking.

“Well, they ain’t gonna misunderstand what that dress is trying to display,” she said with a wide smile. “Are you sure you’re ready to just let it all hang out there though?” Beth asked, eyeing me up and down.

I looked over at the stack of clothes we’d already tried on and the things I’d fallen in love with and was planning to buy. I put a hand out on my tummy when I felt a little kick. Baby Jedi was happy with the dress. I’d been working my rear end off for over three months since opening the Countryside Inn and Bakery, all while keeping my pregnancy a secret. It was exhausting and by god, I wanted to be able to waltz into the Piggly Wiggly in my pajama bottoms and maternity tee and purchase a jar of pickles and a container of ice cream without giving a hoot who saw me.
Yeah, I was over it.

“Oh yeah, I’m ready,” I answered. “I’m ready to really begin enjoying this pregnancy before it’s all over, and I realize that I was so busy worrying about people’s opinions that I missed the entire experience.” I set my jaw and watched Beth in the mirror.

“Well, it’s about friggin’ time!” she squealed. “Get that dress. You look fabulously pregnant in it.” She jumped out of the chair she was sitting in and left.

“Where are you going?” I shouted.

“I’m going shopping for my niece finally!” she shouted back.

I went into the dressing room to change with a huge smile on my face. We were about to do some major damage in this mall.

“Beth, seriously, what are you going to do if it’s a boy?” I asked, eyeing the pile of pink baby clothes piled up on my bed. Beth snorted and held up another little outfit for me to fall in love with.

“Only a little girl would be so stubborn as to not even let us get a good look-see and keep us in suspense all this time,” she shot out.

Okay, I had to admit that was pretty good reasoning, but I suspected it was really just a lot of hot air so she could buy what she wanted. Auntie Beth had her heart set on a little girl to spoil rotten. Beth began folding the onesies and blankets and every other little thing she’d bought the baby, putting it all in the tall chest of drawers we’d bought a few weeks back. I sat on the sofa and glanced over at the bassinet. It still needed a fresh coat of paint. I guess I needed to carry it downstairs soon and get that done.

“So, what are you going to tell Matt when he asks you if you knew I was pregnant this whole time and if you know who the father is?” I asked after a moment. It had been on my mind since I’d made the decision to stop trying to hide my pregnancy.

Beth shrugged. “The truth,” she said simply. “That of course I knew the whole time, but that I made you a promise not to tell anyone who the father is.”

I sighed. “I’m really sorry about this, Beth,” I said again.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Jen,” Beth answered immediately. “You have the right to keep it to yourself. I may not like it and think you’re gonna regret it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t support you and your decision.”

I smiled at my best friend, nearly buried in a pile of tiny, pink clothes. “Well, after tomorrow, we won’t have to worry about keeping it all a secret any longer. Everyone in Salem, hell, probably half the
state
will know I’m pregnant,” I answered wryly.

“Yeah, about that….” Beth began. “You think this is the best idea you’ve ever had? I mean, deciding to let the cat out of the bag is one thing… but letting the cat out at
church
?” Beth raised a brow.

I huffed and rearranged myself on the sofa to get more comfortable. “I want it all out there and quickly, with no way I’ll be able to doubt that everyone knows,” I answered. “You know of any other place as good as a church for spreading gossip that quickly and effectively?” I asked.

Beth shrugged. “I suppose you’re right,” she admitted.

I smiled. “I know I’m right.”

“Okay, if the is how you want to announce to the world that you’re expecting then… I’m in,” Beth said.

“You ready?” Beth asked me as we sat in the parking lot of New Hope Community Church. I’d been attending Pastor Wright’s church since Beth started going on occasion with Matt. I taught Sunday school every other Sunday and helped with a lot of the children’s ministries. This Sunday, I wasn’t teaching my little kindergarteners; it was my week off in the rotation. I took a deep breath and nodded. It was now or never, and I was ready to put this behind me already.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I said with a shrug. We got out of my car and headed for the church together. When we entered, we both took of our jackets. Taking a deep, fortifying breath, I hung my jacket over my arm that carried my Bible. I followed Beth into the church where most of the adult congregation was gathered and fellowshipping before services would start a few minutes later.

“Jen!” I heard a familiar voice call from a few feet away. “I was just telling…” McKenna’s voice trailed off when she saw
all
of me. My dress was a knee length, wine-colored sweater dress with a pretty, draping neckline. It also had little pleats stitched in just above my baby bump, meant to really highlight a pregnant tummy. And man,
did it
. It was adorable, soft, and comfortable though, so I’d chosen to wear it to church that morning for the exact effect it was having on several ladies as their eyes rounded when they realized what they were looking at.
And boom goes the dynamite
. McKenna Jacobs… the biggest gossip in three counties, possibly more. Just the person I needed to see. I clenched my jaw and stepped forward.

“McKenna,” I gushed, reaching in for a little hugs as usual, like nothing was different. I placed a hand on the top of my stomach as I spoke. “I was hopin’ I’d get a chance to talk to you before services.” Her eyes hadn’t left my stomach.

“Jen… when did…?”

I cut her off immediately. “I have those classroom cutouts for you that I promised to bring with me.” I put a hand out and patted her arm. “Don’t forget to get them from my car after church, hun,” I said quickly with a huge smile.

“Beth.” Matt waved as he walked up to us. His smile faltered once he realized there was some tension in the room.

“What’s going…?” His voice trailed off as he reached Beth’s side. His eyes widened as he saw my hand resting on my belly and all the women standing around gaping like he was just then. Beth elbowed him in the side, never breaking her smile. An
oomph
left his mouth as he rubbed his side, looking completely flabbergasted.

“Well, we better take our seats,” Beth said with a huge, sugary-sweet voice. She tucked her arm in mine and turned me away from the group.

“She just doesn’t know how to take it easy, ya know?” Beth whispered over her shoulder. “I keep telling her she’s got to sit down and rest every once in a while. It takes a lot out of you, growing a baby and all that… Or so I’ve heard,” Beth said with a grin.

“Just think, Matt,” Beth said loudly as we headed toward the pew where the Wright family usually sat. “We’ll be able to spoil this baby like it is our own… maybe we can hold off trying for one after all,” she added in a mock-whisper. Matt looked so lost that I actually felt bad for the poor guy. Beth had just confirmed I was pregnant in front of the whole church, showed her support and Matt’s, and managed to start another small thread of gossip that she was anxious for her own baby. That was going to take a teensy bit of the spotlight off my own scandal. Beth was freaking
amazing
!

“We’re going to be talking about this later, right?” Matt whispered into Beth’s ear as we sat.

I cringed. Poor Beth. Beth just patted his hand in answer and snuggled into his side until the class started. I had no doubt that by the time church was over that Salem would be abuzz with the news. Shrinking down into my seat, I frowned. A tiny little nudge from Mini Jedi brought a smile to my lips though. For the first time, I was able to lay a hand on my stomach without worrying about anyone seeing me. By the time Sunday school was over, I was grinning ear to ear. It didn’t take long for that to change though.

In between Sunday school and church services, I decided to hurry to the restroom. The baby seemed to press on my bladder in the worst way when I was seated. Eyes followed me as I walked, whispers did too, but I didn’t care… not too much, anyway. I was washing my hands when a voice broke up the happy thoughts I was having.

“Jennifer Collins.”

I cringed and turned to the sound of the most annoying voice on the face of the planet. Jill Mason and her super nasally, southern drawl scraped against my eardrums.

I grabbed a few paper towels and began drying off my hands. “Jill,” I acknowledged. Jill had been the bane of my existence in school. Not even Beth knew of the lengths Jill had gone to in order to make my life miserable. I thought she might have changed once we were all adults, but if anything, she became worse. No, she didn’t bully me anymore, but she didn’t waste an opportunity to be nasty either. Looked like today wasn’t going to be any different.

“Look who done went and got herself knocked up,” Jill said as she turned on the water in the sink next to me. “Goody-two-shoes Jen Collins.” She sneered at me. A few other ladies were in the restroom, some clearly finished, but they were hanging back to hear the gossip, to hear what I might have to say. I wasn’t going to give any of them the satisfaction though. I smiled as wide as I could without pulling a muscle in my cheek.

“Well, bless your little heart for noticing, hun,” I gushed, rubbing a hand over my baby bump. “Everyone keeps sayin’ I’m so tiny that they hardly realized I was pregnant.” Jill had never been pregnant before
that anyone knew of,
but it was a known fact that people regularly asked her if she was expecting, only to find out
quite embarrassingly
that she just had added quite a bit of pudge around her middle section since high school. Her face turned a mottled red sort of color as I continued on as if I were oblivious.