Perfectly Imperfect (Perfectly #1) (18 page)

“Anyone up for a game of darts?” Grayson asks. He looks happy. It’s good to see him enjoying himself. I was hesitant about coming out at first, but I guess it
’s better than being home mulling and trying to figure out why things happen.

“I’m down,” Kyle says. “Mia, you up for a little friendly competition? I’m better at dart
s than foosball.” He’s grinning but I can see the challenge. Kyle can be as competitive as me, and that says a lot.

“Sorry, Kyle. Unfortunately I can’t play darts.” Darts is one of those games I’ve never been good at. I guess my aim stinks.

“Even better. I can kick your ass.”

“I’ll teach you.” Grayson has my attention, and the thought of him standing so close behind me, guiding my arm makes me squirm.

“Are you as good at darts as you are at foosball?” I joke.

“I’m better.” He says confidently. It’s hot. “Let’s play. Steph you in?”

“Sure,” she says seemingly unexcited. I know Steph isn’t much into games but she gives it a try anyways.

The guys grab the darts at the bar and we head towards the darts machine and start inputting our names. We begin playing. Kyle goes first since he threw closest to the bullseye. I don’t really understand the game, but when it’s my turn Grayson tells me to try to hit somewhere along the twenty since it’s straight ahead and should be the easiest. I try to aim and throw, missing the board completely. I hear Kyle laugh behind me and I scowl at him. It doesn’t help that I am super competitive and hate it when I am not an apt competitor.

Grayson stands behind me. “Ignore him. Let me help you.” He closes the gap between us, places his left hand on my waist and with his right arm grabs mine and guides the dart to the board. “Relax and keep your eyes where you want the dart to hit. Don’t curve your arm when you throw. Try to keep it as straight and steady as you can.”

It’s hard to concentrate when I have him so close breathing into my neck, and I can feel all of him behind me, and when I say all I mean
all.
My breath hitches and he lets out a small chuckle. He knows what he’s doing. I can’t focus on the dartboard or the dart in my hand, only on having him so close to me and I feel desire pooling in my core.

“Are you trying to make me to lose? Because I have to say I can’t focus on anything but you behind me. It’s very distracting.” I whisper just for him to hear and push back into him. He coughs, trying to cover up and guides my hand towards the board before I can even react. It lands right under the twenty. I’m not sure what it means but he looks pleased with hims
elf so it must be a good shot.

“Good shot, Sweet Pea.” He winks at me. “We make a pretty good team.”

“We sure do. I’ll show you how good of a team we make when we get home.” I wink back and laugh.

“You better keep that promise.” He pulls me closer to him, face to face, and I can feel him hard beneath his jeans. It drives me crazy, and if I didn’t have self-control, I would do something about it right here.

“I will. Now let’s finish this game so we can go. You’re driving me crazy.”

“Same goes for you walking around with those tight jeans.” He slaps my ass. “Can’t wait to take them off later.” He says with a wink and turns his attention back to Kyle and
Steph. This man is challenging and I love it. We continue to play. I lose interest half way and sit back with Steph as the guys continue their game. It’s close, but Grayson ends up winning. He was right when he said he was good.

We head home, and Grayson asks if I mind going to his house instead of mine. I eye him suspiciously because my apartment is closer and we’ve had a few beers but agree. I go straight to the bathroom when we arrive. When I walk out into the living area Grayson is nowher
e to be found. I check his room but he’s not there either. I walk back out to the living area. His house is an open concept, so I can see the kitchen and bar area from the living room.

I notice the back door is open, leading out to his patio, and I walk outside. It is dark, especially since he lives a little ways out of the city center and trees surround his home. I squint my eyes looking around the patio allowing them to adjust to the darkness and finally spot him lying on the ground. I walk up to him, confused. “What are you doing out here?” I notice he’s on a blanket.

“I thought we’d lie out here for a bit and look up at the stars. It’s so peaceful, and away from the city lights the stars are more visible.” He looks at me expectantly and I lie down next to him.

“Since when did you become all romantic?” I look up at the starry sky and it’s breathtaking. I see hundreds of small white spots covering the raven sky like sparkling diamon
ds. Grayson pulls out his phone and I notice he has an app open. It looks like some kind of solar system map with stars and planets.

“Every once in a while I can be romantic.” He says as his fingers search for mine in the darkness and lace themselves in mine. He lets out a content sigh and continues to stare up at the sky. “This app shows the different stars and the constellations. That one over there is the big dipper.” He points at the sky with our fingers still knotted together, and I can see the same pattern on his phone that I see in the sky. “That one is Orion’s Belt. And that bright one is Mars.” He keeps talking about his finds on his phone and pointing them out in the vast sky shining above us.

All I can see is his silhouette in the darkness, but he still looks so perfect in the dark shadows. “I want to meet your dad.” He says without looking my way interrupting my analysis of his perfect face and putting his phone down. He wants to meet my dad? Why? I feel my breath quicken and a chill run down my spine. I try to even out my breath but I’m failing. I don’t want him to get the wrong impression that I don’t think we have a future, but this is sudden, fast and I’m kind of freaking out.

He keeps talking. He must notice my freak out. “You said he wanted to meet me, and I want to thank him for bringing you back to me. Relax,” he says finally looking at me. I can imagine my wide eyes staring back at him, and I feel myself chewing my bottom lip anxiously. His hand reaches up and releases my lip from between my teeth. “This isn’t a marriage proposal. Breathe. I just want to meet him. Since you had mentioned he wanted to meet the person who made you happy, I thought you’d be okay with it. We don’t have to if you’re not ready yet. There will be plenty of time for me to meet him.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just…”
Breathe in and out, slowly, three, two, one.
“I was just surprised I guess. I’m still new at this. Is it too soon?” I’m still trying to even out my breath and he gives my hand a gentle squeeze, but I hear his disappointment when he speaks.

“I’m new at this, too. I don’t know what is too soon or perfect timing. All I know is what feels right. Who says there are specific rules to follow when it comes to love? It felt right so I brought it up. It’s not like either one of us are keen on following the rules. All I know is that I’m in love with you, Mia, and I want to know all of you. Your dad’s a part of your life, so I would like to meet him.” He’s lying on his side propping himself up with his elbow looking at me, waiting for my reaction.

“You’re right. Sorry. You know I feel the same way but all of this is new for me; bringing people into my life, letting them into my world, allowing them see the good and bad. He does want to meet you, and I want you to. Maybe we can go tomorrow. I’ll call him in the morning.” My breathing has finally evened out. I do want to be with Grayson. I do love him and want him in my life, but I’m still working on opening myself up and trusting. Not that I think Grayson isn’t trustworthy or would intentionally hurt me, but shit happens. How many people are head over heels in love just to end up divorced and hurting each other. I’m taking it day by day, letting go of my past and other people’s relationships, and focusing on the now being fully present with Grayson.

“Only if you’re sure you’re ready for this. I don’t want to push you. I’ll wait until you’re ready, no matter how long that takes.” I know there’s a double meaning to his words. Not only about meeting my dad, but me being ready to move forward, take bigger steps in our relationship.

“I’ll call him in the morning, and we’ll go. I doubt he’ll have any plans, he’s usually just home.
Besides, I know he’s worried about the way I left him the last time I was there. It would do him good to see I’m okay.”

“Thank you.” Grayson says and I’m confused as to why he’s thanking me. “Thank you for being in my life
and standing by my side during this difficult time. Thank you for letting me be a part of yours. I know this isn’t easy for you. Thank you for trusting me and for letting me love you.”

“You’re on a roll today. Mr. Romantic.” I joke and kiss him. “It’s my pleasure having you in my life. Wouldn’t want it any other way, freak outs and all.” I smile at him and before I notice what’s going on, I’m lying on my back pinned under Grayson and he’s kissing me passionately. His tongue invading my mouth and making me feel all kinds of sensations. He moves his lips from my mouth to my neck. I move under him, desire pooling south of my body, and rub myself to him. He’s hard under his jeans and lets out a small moan as I try to get my body closer to him, rubbing against him.

“Are you trying to finish me off before we get started?” He asks amused at my persistence.

“No, but I do think we have too much clothes between us.” He looks at me with desire, eyes darkening, and he strips off my shirt and bra.

“Better?” he asks as he goes for my jeans and underwear.

“Almost.” I take off his shirt and move to take off his jeans and boxers. “Now that’s better.”

He moves over me again, his body pinning mine down, my legs slightly open so he fits between them, and he kisses me. His tongue dances with mine and our hands move up and down each other’s bodies. I let out a moan as he moves, slightly rubbing his length over my core. We continue to kiss like our lives depend on it, and I buck up my hips begging for him to enter me.

He looks up at me, breaking our kiss, eyes hooded, and positions himself between me. I move my hips up again and this time
he accepts my invitation and enters me. I let out a loud moan and am grateful we are out away from people who can hear us. We continue to kiss, my hands moving to his hair and his to my breasts twisting and tugging at my nipples. He thrusts inside me, rough, ardently, full of lust and passion, and I meet each of his thrusts perfectly.

He hits every spot inside me perfectly making me spiral out of control. He must be feeling the same becau
se his breathing becomes jagged and he thrusts deeper into me. “Grayson, please.” I moan. I close my eyes savoring each sensation.

“Open your eyes. I want to see you.” He breathes. “Fuck, Mia.” He groans and I know he’s close. I keep my eyes open like he says, building, climbing, getting ready to spiral down. He doesn’t break eye contact. This is new to me. I’ve never experienced anything like this, the connection of looking into each other’s eyes as we’re about to orgasm. It’s so intense, intimate, and I lose it, my orgasm filling me, my walls clenching around him, and he stills finding his release also.

We continue to look into each other’s eyes as we descend from our climax and I find his lips with mine kissing him with fervor, claiming his mouth with my tongue.

We stay outside until we’ve both come down from our intense climax, and then Grayson carries me over to his room. “Good night, Sweet Pea. I love you.”

“Mhmm.” I say in my sleepy state and I fall asleep dreaming of a future with Grayson.

Chapter 17

We’re on our way down to my dad’s house and I can’t stop fidgeting. My knees are bouncing, my fingers drumming to the beat of the song playing on the radio, and my poor lip is starting to swell from the attack my teeth have going on it. Grayson is driving. I had insisted on driving, but now seeing how nervous I am, I am happy he’s the one driving. I notice him glancing at me from the corner of his eye. I can imagine the thoughts going through his mind of me not being ready or doubt that I care about him as much as I say I do. It’s got nothing to do with that. It is just hard for me to open up my life to others, let them see the truth without a mask or façade covering me up. It’s very personal, intimate even.

“You’re going to take the next exit and stay on the right lane.” I tell Grayson guiding him with the directions. We’ve been on the road for about forty minutes, and it’s been forty anxious minutes. He follows my d
irections without saying a word and I mentally thank him for his silence.

I have never brought anyone home. Not even when I was a child like normal children would do. With everything that was going on between my parents, I didn’t want my friends from school to witness fights or inappropriate behavior. After my parents got divorced, I didn’t want them to see my dad drinking himself deeper into depression. Besides, it’s not like I had a best friend whom I was inseparable with. I was always on my own; the shy girl with the whore of a mother and drunk father. When I was home I was trying to get my dad to sober up and clean up his life. Thankfully, it finally worked.

The memories flood back as we get closer to my dad’s house. “Go straight until you see Liberty Street and make a left. Then you’re going to go down the road and it’ll be the last house on the right.” I breathe in deeply and exhale any tension I have welled up. I push away any unwelcomed memories and breathe calming my nerves as Grayson pulls up to my dad’s house. He’s usually sitting out in the porch but I don’t see him today. I climb out of the car less than gracefully and walk up the steps toward the front door. Grayson’s catches up to me and gives my hand a quick squeeze as my dad opens the door. He must have heard the car because he opens before I reach the door.

“Hey, baby girl. You made it in great time. You look good.” He wraps his arms around me in a hug, and I lean into him feeling better. “You must be the lucky man who got through to my stubborn daughter. I’m Derek.” He
extends his hand out to Grayson and I’m glad he’s introduced himself because I don’t think I could. They both laugh at his comment.

“Hi Mr. Parker, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Grayson Carter. I am a lucky man but thanks to you, sir. Thank you for bringing her back to me.”

“My pleasure. Anyone who can put a smile on her face the way you do must be someone special to her. She’s never smiled like that before. And please, call me Derek. My condolences for your loss. Mia told me what happened.”

“Thank you, sir.” Grayson says eyeing me suspiciously.

“I was just making some coffee for us. Why don’t you two sit out by the swing and I’ll bring the stuff out.”

“I’ll help you dad.” I say hoping to get a free moment to catch my breath.

“No, go sit. I have it all set up already was just waiting for it to finish brewing.” He waves his hand dismissively and walks into the house leaving me standing there. Grayson is already making his way to the swing.

“So… no one has ever made you smile like I have before?” He asks, his eyebrow cocked at me questioningly, and signals for me to sit next to him. I blush and shake my head. Why does my dad have to be so blunt? “Well, I’m glad. No one will either. I didn’t know you told him about my brother.” He kisses the top of my head.

“Yeah. I told him I was going to South Carolina in case he couldn’t reach me easily.” I say unsure of how he would react.

“You never cease to surprise me, Sweet Pea.” My dad walks out with a tray holding three mugs, the coffee pot, cream and sugar. We prepare our coffees and sit back comfortably.

“How’s work, sweetie? Anything new you’re working on?”

“Yeah. I’ve got some articles to turn in on Monday for the next issue. Rising each day a little more.” I smile at him. His eyes crinkle on the sides, the same blue eyes I have, and I see his pride exposed in his expression.

“What do you do Grayson? You aren’t from around here so what brought you out west so far from your home?”

“I’m an architect. I actually moved to Portland for a job. It was too good to pass up. It was hard leaving my brother behind, but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. As soon as I got here I fell in love with the surroundings. I design and manage construction sites. The company I work for has bee
n working on some buildings in Downtown Portland, as well as, some smaller projects throughout the city. I love to add that old time charm into modern construction.” He sounds so confident talking about his career. I can relate to that. My career is something I have always been confident about.

They continue to talk about hobbies, sports teams, and cars. My dad really seems to like him. I relax as I observe their interaction, happy that the two most important men in my life are in the same place hitting it off. All the anxiety that I felt last night and this morning has faded off. I sit back and watch their interaction.

They’re talking about cars. My dad loves classics and it seems like Grayson does, too. He’s telling my dad about his first car. An old Chevy Camaro his friend’s dad sold him for a good price, and he fixed it up with his brother during a whole summer. The image of Grayson all sweaty under the hood of a car is hot.
Focus, Mia. This is not the time to think about those images.

After a few hours, we get ready to leave. “Dad, do you want me to help you prepare dinner before we head out? I can whip something up for you quickly.” I hate leaving him right before dinner. He isn’t exactly handy around the kitchen.

“No, baby girl. I’m okay. I’ve got some leftovers from lunch. You two head out. It’s Friday. There must be some club or something you’ll be heading out to tonight.” I can’t help but laugh at his attempt to sound like he’s in the know.

“Okay. Remember if you need anything just call me. I love you, dad.” I give him a hug and hold on tightly whispering in his ear, “Thank you.” 

“Love you, too, sweetie. Now go before you get me all emotional. Good bye, son. Keep an eye out on her. She isn’t as strong as she makes herself to be.” I roll my eyes at what my dad said, but notice Grayson’s reaction to my dad calling him son. I realize he’s probably never had anyone call him that before and he seems taken aback.

“I will, sir. Don’t worry, she’s
safe with me.” They shake hands and we head out to the car. Grayson begins to pull out of the driveway and head back the same way we came. “He called me son.” He says in a low voice like if he were speaking to himself.

“I know. He liked you. He’s usually more reserved around people. He’s been hurt, too, but you must have impressed him enough for him to open up.”

“No one’s ever called me that before.” He says with sadness in his eyes, and I hope he isn’t bothered by it.

“Are you okay? I’ll tell him to be more careful with his choice of words.”

“No. I liked it. It made me feel wanted.”  My heart aches for him. I’m not the only one who was neglected as a child. At least I have my dad. Grayson has no one.

“You are wanted, Grayson.” I reach out for his hand. “I want you. Do you know what would be of my life without you in it? Meaningless. Thank you for today. I know you have been patient with me, and I am ever so grateful for that. Just because I get nervous and seem unsure of my decisions doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. It has to do with me and my insecurities. I’ve never brought anyone to my dad’s house. Even as a child. I never had friends over or sleepovers like other kids do. I was protective. I want you in every aspect of my life.” I pick up the hand I’m holding and bring it up to my lips and kiss his palm.

We drive back in peaceful silence, listening to music. I’m looking out the window at the scenery as we pass it, the beauty that surrounds us, as the road curves and leads us back home. Suddenly the familiar words of a song fill the car and Grayson squeezes my hand. It takes me a moment to place the song. I listen carefully and notice it’s the song from Promenade. It plays in the background, both of us taking in the lyrics.

Because of you

I have strength.

Because of you

I am free.

I believe in me.

It’s been a long and bumpy road

But life gave me one more chance.

“You know this song is perfect to describe what you are in my life. You gave me something to fight for. You gave me a reason to let go and move forward.” I tell him feeling extra cheesy today. That’s so not like me, but I’m going to go with it.

“Look who’s being all romantic today.” Grayson says joking as he brings my hand up to his lips and kisses the top of it.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. But it’s true. You freed me and gave me something to believe in besides fucked up relationships and shitty people.” 

“Now that’s the romantic side I know and love,” he laughs at my choice of words.

“Just keeping it real.”

“Same goes for you, Sweet Pea. You have no idea.” He sighs and I’m sure he’s thinking about his parents and how his brother left this world way too soon. 

“You know that day dancing to this song I let go of my walls.” I confess. We haven’t exactly spoken about Promenade since it happened.

“I know. I saw it in your eyes. That’s why I thought you were ready for more.”

“Then Chase showed up and they came up faster than ever. I was reminded as to why those walls were there. I got scared. I’m sorry.”

“You know I’m not like him. I love you, wholeheartedly; your mind, your soul, your body- especially your body.” He winks and I laugh. “I’m kidding. Especially your heart because it’s so full of love and passion.”

“I do, too. I’m happy you asked to come meet my dad. He seemed really happy, and I know it means a lot to him, too, to be included in my life. It wasn’t so bad.” I say to myself. I expected this afternoon to be a disaster or have some kind of drama attached to it. Truth is that it was a great day and everyone was happy.

“It was an amazing day. How about I cook you dinner?”

“That would be great.” We continue our car ride enjoying each other’s company and listening to the radio. Before I know it, we are pulling into Grayson’s house.

He begins to take things out of the fridge coming up with something to make for dinner. “How does veal with roasted potatoes sound?”

“Delicious. What can I help you with?” I say grabbing two wine glasses and opening a bottle of red wine from the bar. I pour us a glass each and hand him one.

“Here. Peel the potatoes and cut them into quarters. I’ll season the veal.” He hands me a potato peeler, a cutting board and a knife.

“Yes, sir.” I say mocking his bossiness and get to work on the potatoes. I can’t help but think of how normal this feels.

“Keep up that submissive attitude for later.” Grayson says smiling like the devil himself up to no good.

“You love that I challenge you. You wouldn’t want me if I were submissive.”

“I’d want you any way; stubborn, smart ass and all, but I do love that you challenge me.” I laugh because I know he’s right. We continue to work on dinner and I place the potatoes in the oven to roast. Once dinner is done we eat in the living room, sitting on the floor using the coffee table instead of sitting at the kitchen bar.

“If you keep cooking like this for me, I’ll never leave. This is delicious. How’d you learn to cook like this?” I ask him between bites. The veal is tender and cooked perfectly. He seasoned it just with salt and pepper, but it is full of flavor. He looks proud that I am enjoying my meal so much.

“I learned when I was younger. I had to cook for Logan and myself if we wanted to eat, but I actually really enjoyed it. I began experimenting with ingredients. Logan was a picky eater, so I had to find a way to get him to eat healthy and like it. He totally took advantage of my cooking skills. Even when we were older he’d get me to pass by his house and then talk me into making dinner for him.” He sighs heavily; releasing emotions I can see building up inside him. He looks sad talking about his brother and I know it’s hard for him.

“We can talk about something else. I didn’t mean to bring up your brother.” I scoot over so we are face to face and kiss him.

“If cooking for you will keep you here, I may begin doing just that then so you never leave.” He says insinuating I move in. I know he is ready to move forward and take the next step, but we’ve just started dating- literally a few days ago. He’s crazy sometimes, but he insists that this is it for him.

“Grayson…” I warn. “We’ve gone through this. We just started dating, like this past week. Let’s take things slow like
normal people; date, get to know each other, and after some time move in together.”

“We didn’t just start dating a few days ago. A few days ago was when you grew the courage to do something about your feelings. We’ve been dating for a couple months if you want to be technical because, like it or not, what we had before was not friendship or fucking alone. Now, I respect that you want to take it slow. I agreed with you because I will support you and be by your side always, but you can’t pretend this is our first date. We know each other, more than anyone else knows each of us. And I am head over heels in love with you and will be for the rest of my life.” He says taking my hand in his and caressing it softly with his fingers. If it were up to him we would have eloped already.