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3. Barbara Foster, Michael Foster, and Letha Hadady,
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4. Doug Slinger and Penny Slinger,
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5. Muna Tseng, “Ming Fei,” in
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6. Merlin Stone,
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7. Andie Norgren (e-mail communication, December 3, 2009).

8. David Barash and Judith Lipton,
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(New York: W. H. Freeman, 2001).

2 5 1

9. Leslie Temple Thurston,
Marriage of Spirit
(Santa Fe, NM: CoreLight Publications, 2000).

10. Gina Haddon,
Uniting
Sex, Self, and Spirit
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11. Jean Shinoda Bolen,
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(San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1984).

12. Nikolaos A. Vrissimtzis,
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Sex, and Marriage in Ancient Greece
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14. E. S. Graghill Handy and Mary Kawena Pukui,
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Ka’u, Hawaii
(Honolulu: Mutual Publishing, 1998).

15. Lynn Margulis and Dorion Sagan,
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(New York: Summit Books, 1991).

16. Margulis and Sagan,
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.

17. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, “The Primate Origins of Human Sexuality,” in
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, ed. Robert Bellig and George Stevens (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1988).

18. Meredith Small, “What’s Love Got to Do with It?,”
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, June 1992, 46–51.

19. Ken Wilber,
The Atman Project
(Wheaton, IL: Theosophical Publishing House, 1980).

20. Spider Robinson and Jeanne Robinson,
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(New York: Dial Press, 1979).

21. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin,
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(New York: Harper Colophon, 1969).

22. Dane Rudhyar,
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(Rail Road Flat, CA: Seed Publications, 1971).

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2. Serena Anderlini-D’Onofrio,
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Planet
(Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books, 2009).

3. James Lovelock,
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4. Anderlini-D’Onofrio,
Gaia and the New Politics of Love
, 41.

5. Anderlini-D’Onofrio,
Gaia and the New Politics of Love
, 5.

6. Anderlini-D’Onofrio,
Gaia and the New Politics of Love
, 115.

7. Anderlini-D’Onofrio,
Gaia and the New Politics of Love
, 137.

8. James W. Prescott, “Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence,”
Bulletin of the
Atomic Scientists
, November 1975, 10–20.

9. Prescott, “Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence.”

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(Durango, CO: Kivaki Press, 1988).

2 5 2

11. LaChappelle,
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, 260.

12. LaChappelle,
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, 261.

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, 263.

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———.
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acceptance as new-paradigm value,

extramarital sex; infidelity;

68, 133

jealousy

accountability, 103

agreements: commitment and, 13;

activists/activism, 23, 25–26, 53,

decision making and, 78–80; integrity

173, 181, 197; gay, lesbian,

as essential to, 80–81; new sexual

bisexual, transgendered, and queer

ethic and, 78–80

(GLBTQ), 61–62, 204

Akbar, Jalaluddin Muhammad

adolescents: perspectives and

(emperor), 73

experiences of, 92, 93, 97,

alpha behavior, 9

132–33, 135–40, 150–53, 171–72;

“alpha problem,” 103–4

polyamory as challenging for, 138–

altruism, 9–10, 237, 239

39.
See also
children

anarchist politics, 24–26, 207

adultery: biblical prohibition against,

anarchy, relationship.
See
relationship

67; Judaism and, 71–72.
See also

anarchy

affairs; infidelity

Anderlini-D’Onofrio, Serena, 203,

affairs, extramarital: common in

233–36

cultures espousing monogamy, 5,

androgen, 11

7, 12–13; case material, 38, 87,

animals: mating patterns in, 6–10,

109–10, 115, 208–9; European

113–14, 213; pleasure and violence

relaxed attitude toward, 185;

in, 235–36.
See also
primates

jealousy and, 109, 113, 115; media

Aphrodite, 221

portrayals of, 141; politicians and

archetypes, 213–14, 219–22.
See also

exposure of, 77, 231–32.
See also

mythology

2 5 5

2 5 6

Asperger syndrome, 32–36

as creating, 77; oxytocin and, 10–12,

Assagioli, Roberto, 215

235.
See also
attachment

attachment, xiii, 37–38; biochemistry

bonobo chimpanzees, 113–14, 224–25.

of, 10–12.
See also
bonding

See also
primates

Australia, 130–32, 184, 185, 197,

Bourne, Edmund, xiii–xiv

208–11

Bowen, Murray, 216

authenticity, “coming out” and,

breast-feeding and bonding, 155, 235

174–75

Brook Farm community, 47–48

Buddhism, 73–74, 189, 217

Baha’u’llah, 73

Buss, David, 108–12

Bailey, Alice, 215

Butler, C. T., 24–26

Barash, David P., 7–9

Barker, Meg, 43, 204–5

Capella, Danielle, 165, 166

Bauer, Robin, 61, 197–98

Cardosa, Daniel, 165, 166, 200–201

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.
See
Osho

caring as new-paradigm value, 68

Bible.
See
religious beliefs

“carrying capacity of the land,” 7–8

bigamy (legal construct), 178, 181

case histories: Alex and Dawn, 29–31;

Big Love
(television program), 47

Alice, 90; Amanda, 162, 166; Anne,

biological processes underlying

208–10; Beth, 170–71; Betsy and

behavior, 10–11, 40, 224, 226–

Terry, 178–79; Bill, Liz, Helen, and

27, 236–37.
See also
genetic

Angie, 241; Bruce, Jane, Cindy,

programming; neurobiology of

Rebecca, Richard, and Harry,

pleasure and violence

17; Cheryl, Paul, and Leslie, 232;

bisexuality: exploring, 21–22, 40,

Chitvan and Suresh, 196–97;

116–17; and false dichotomy of

Christine and Jeanette, 202; Chuck,

heterosexual
vs.
homosexual,

Janice, and Frank, 123; Dane, 41,

163–64; high incidence among

168; Daniel, 98–99; David, 164;

polyamorists, 43; poly diversity

Don, Denise, Gary, and Ann, 188;

and, 163; problems with the term,

Elaine, 89; Elizabeth and Tom,

206; sexual fluidity and, 165, 167;

124–25; Ellen and Charlie, 38–40;

visibility/invisibility of, 88, 130,

Ellen and Doug, 13; Gina and

167–68.
See also
gay, lesbian,

Eric, 4, 16; Graham, 96–98; Izzie

bisexual, transgendered, and queer

and Amelia, 115; Jacob, 138; Jenna

(GLBTQ) people

and Gary, 3; Jivana, 193; John,

Blanton, Brad, 62–63

Eli, and Carol, 18; Jonathan and

The Body Sacred, 55

Victoria, 231; Joseph, Suzy, and Jill,

Bolen, Jean Shinoda, 221

124; Juliette, Roland, and Laurel,

bonding, 155; as advantageous to

143–45; Kamala and Michael,

group survival, 226–27; in children

23–24, 145–47; Kate, 18; Kelly and

of polyamorous parents, 140; is not

Eileen, 140–43, 161; Linda and

limited to dyads, 63; meaningful sex

Mark, 109–10; Margaret, 166–77;

2 5 7

Mark and Linda, 112; Mark and

131–32; cultural norms and, 140;

Nancy, 16–17; Marvin and Sheila,

dearth of research concerning,

79–80; Muffy, 210–11; Nancy and

127–28; experiences of the

Darrell, 21–23; Ned, 94–96; Neil

“next generation” of, 132–40; in

and Lynne, 125–26; Nora and

polyamorous communities, 148–56;

Jim, 15–16, 137–38; Patricia, Ellis,

setting a context for, 140–43.
See

Bruce, and Zoë, 126; Paula, 90–92;

also
adolescents; case histories

Peter, Candy and Jessica, 17–18;

China, 24, 186–91, 211, 218

Peter, Stacy, Janice, and Ian, 84–85; Chisti Order (Sufi), 73

Peter and Sarah, 116–17; Rachael,

Christian clergy validating alternatives

Bev, and Gene, 119–20; Rainah,

to monogamy, 53–54

92–94; Raymond, 132–36; Reemah

Christian grandparent custody case,

and Avinash, 194–95; Richard,

147

Kate, and Susan, 187–88; Ricky,

Christian viewpoints/beliefs,

171–72; Robert, 114–15; Sally,

208, 209, 215; conservative,