Read PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans Online
Authors: Matthew Fabiola;L. Ramsey Joseph
PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans (4 page)
It wasn’t until I heard Breeze’s answer that I realized that those nasty words came out of my mouth.
“Oh, fuck, Breeze; yeah that’s it, right there!” I screamed as his wet, warm tongue invaded my cave.
If only I could describe the feeling that came over me. To this day, it may still be beyond words. My body was on fire and I didn’t want anyone to put it out. I felt the caress of a man and discovered what true pleasure was, and that will never be taken from me.
“Oh, God, please stop, wait, right there, yeah that’s it, don’t stop!” I screamed out in a confused, lust filled rage. By then, I was holding my legs damn near behind my ears and was shoving Breeze’s face into my dripping wet cunt. That’s when things started to get fuzzy. Little red dots danced around the room and everyone’s face turned into one. It seemed as if all of the blood rushed out of my brain and flowed down between my legs. My body shook violently under the sensations that overtook it.
“Goddamn, goddamn, I have got to get into that pussy,” Breeze said, as my bodily fluids squirted all over his face. I lay there, wondering how he could have been turned on after having me piss in his face. Not knowing that it was cum and not pee, I thought for sure that this whole experience was over. But it wasn’t, Breeze kept his word and slid the whole 10 inches of half-black, half-Italian dick into my cum-filled hole. The liquid from my body lubricated his shaft as he slowly moved in and out of me.
“This is some good ass pussy, man. Wet, tight, and deep,” Breeze said, into one of the cameras.
“You got to make sure to get a close up of this shit, man. Just a straight up pussy and dick shot at first and then I want you to pan out.”
I never could understand how Breeze was able to give out directions during our session, but he fell right into place, as if he never spoke a word. My moaning and groaning was becoming just as loud as his as he reached down and played with my clit. His rhythm was on point and his 10 inches filled my tight little kitty to the T.
“Get on top now; you do know how to ride, right?
“Uhhh, yeah, I can ride.”
I was lying through my teeth, but I was going to do whatever he asked to the best of my ability. Now this, I liked. I was in the driver’s seat and I was going to take us exactly where we wanted to go. But it wasn’t as easy as I thought; it took me a little while to drive that stick, but a couple minutes into it, I was damn near a race car driver. As I looked down at him, I started to think of all of the freaky shit that I never did and now wanted to do with him. This was the best dick that I had ever had and it had me sprung from the very first point of entry.
“You’re doing real good, Jazzy, now speed it up, but first turn around, that’s called reverse cowgirl.”
I did as told and was right where we left off. I worked my hips fast, steadily drawing Breeze closer and closer to the Promised Land.
“Oh, Jazzy, baby, you making Breeze feel really good, honey. Your pussy is the best, baby; Fuck me; I’m about to cum.”
“I want you to cum on my tits, baby. You gonna do that for me, Breeze?”
I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. I just repeated what I heard on the last film that I watched.
“Yeah, I knew you had some slut in you. I’ll cum all over you, baby. Anywhere you want, any time, Jazzy. I’m hooked, baby; I’m hooked.”
As he said this, I looked across the room. Almost everyone looked intrigued and turned on. That’s not an easy thing to do when on a porn set. These people were around sex all day, but something about Breeze and I hit that spot. Maybe it was the fact that they just watched a sexually innocent girl turn into a stone cold freak. Then, I saw the face of disdain. Tanya looked like I ran over her cat and then served it to her for dinner on a shit filled plate. But, when I saw the smile on DeeDee’s face, I knew that I was doing one hell of a job.
Before I knew it, I was getting flipped over and rested on my back. Breeze’s dick came close to my face and hovered over my chest. It was when he started to cum that my porn name dawned on him.
“Fuck, it feels sooooo good, Jazzy. You’re my little Jezebel. You’re my little secret slut.”
And with that, I was named.
I think I’m at the warehouse, wondering who Breeze wants me to pretend to be in this scene. A police officer, thug, repairman, athlete, or simply just a freak? I open my eyes and realize I’m fucked. Not in a good way, either. I’m tied up in this chair, beaten, bleeding, and convinced tonight is the last night of my life. I’m young, sexy, and to some, a star. So, I shouldn’t be here right now. I should be on an island with the man of my dreams, loving life, not about to have my life taken.
My name is Jamar Rodriguez, but I’m better known as Krave. I’ve been making adult films in L.A. for two years now and I was loving life until today. My biggest regret is not being honest with my father. I wish I could call him one last time, tell him I love him, and that I’m sorry I lied. I know when he reads about my murder, it’s going to kill him to not only find out his only son was gay, but worked in the adult industry. My dad thinks I’ve been in L.A. pursuing my dreams of becoming an actor. In a way, I’m not lying because I am acting in movies. When I was younger, I used to star in school and church plays. It was fun and I was actually good at it. My uncle, Teddy, once told me, “Jamar, you’re talented. You’re going to be a star and I can’t wait to see you on television.” If he has, God help him because he’s seen way more of me than he, or I, would want him to. When I was 15, my parents were going to enroll me in some acting classes, but everything changed when my mother was murdered. She was shot and killed during a bank robbery; witnesses said one of the robbers accused her of trying to press the silent alarm button underneath the counter before shooting her in the head. My mother’s murderer must’ve been paranoid and panicked because that bank didn’t have those type of alarms. The robbers were never caught and my father was devastated. You could say I lost both of my parents that day because my father rarely spoke after the funeral. He kept busy and stayed to himself, so I was basically alone. Don’t get me wrong, if I wanted, or needed, something, he made sure I had it, but that wasn’t the kind of love I needed. I gave up acting and focused all of my attention on boys. I started noticing how cute and sexy they were. I had a lot of crushes, but I really fell in love with Atiba. He was from Trinidad and was so adorable. He was 5’7” and had a dark brown complexion, with a tight, runner’s build. We had chemistry class together and got paired up as lab partners. We became friends after that so one day; I grew some balls and asked him if he wanted to spend the weekend at my house. I was thrilled when he said, “Sure, if my parents will let me.” I was planning on finding out if he was gay, bi, or curious, but I had no idea I’d lose my virginity that Friday night. While getting ready for bed, I put in a movie as he made himself comfortable. He was about to get on the bed in just his shorts as something came over me.
“Damn, you have a nice body,” sort of slipped out of my mouth.
He laughed and then said, “Thanks, I guess.”
“What do you mean, you guess?”
“Well, I’ve never received a compliment like that from another boy before.”
“Oh, my bad, did I offend you?”
“No, you’re straight.”
“Actually, I’m not,” I replied half-joking.
“You’re not what?” he asked, as if he was confused now.
“Straight!”
I replied with my head down because I didn’t want to see his reaction. I was scared it would be the look of disgust.
“OH!”
“Is that cool? Can we still be friends?”
“Yeah, you’re cool.”
After that, there was silence for the first hour of the movie. I didn’t know what to say at first and either he was really into Push, or he didn’t know what to say either. I waited 'til I built up enough nerve and asked, “So, Atiba, I was wondering, by chance, are you gay or bi?”
“No, I’m not. Why?”
“I asked because I have a crush on you.”
“I’m flattered, Jamar, but I don’t get down like that.”
Nothing else was said. I zoned out because I was disappointed and embarrassed. Then, he said, “Since you told me a secret, do you want to know one of mine?”
Of course I replied, “Yes!”
He reminded me about his ex-girlfriends before telling me he was still a virgin. Once he started talking, he couldn’t stop. He told me how he enjoyed watching porn and how he wished he was the men in the movies. I was definitely interested in hearing more.
“Why didn’t you try having sex with one of your ex-girlfriends?”
He told me he was scared he wouldn’t be good at it and he didn’t want that spreading around school. He would’ve been too embarrassed and humiliated. I started plotting and I figured since I had already put my feelings out there, I had nothing to lose.
“You can practice on me. I’m a virgin, too, so my expectations aren’t high. I’ve never even see a porno, so I don’t even know what to expect.”
He brushed me off and acted like he wasn’t interested, but he must’ve started fantasizing about some of the movies he watched because the bulge in his shorts was sticking straight up. It was hard not to stare, so I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. He noticed so he turned over on his stomach. I’ve always been persistent, so after asking him over, and over, and over again, “Are you sure you don’t to see what it feels like?” he finally cracked.
“If you put on some straight porn and promise you won’t tell anyone, I’ll try it. If you do tell, I’m going to deny it and then I’m going to kick your ass.”
I promised, but I didn’t own any porn. I had to turn on my computer so he could search for what he needed. After he pulled up one of his favorites sites, he showed me some clips. It was overwhelming at first, and pretty graphic, but it was turning me on at the same time. I asked if he was ready to try out some of the things he was looking at. He replied, “Okay, but I’m not kissing you and I’m not a punk, so you have to be the girl the whole time.” I was so happy to finally be with Atiba after many nights of daydreaming about it, to the point that I would’ve done anything he wanted. As we got completely nude, I couldn’t take my eyes off his body, especially when I looked down to see he was well endowed. He was much bigger than I was. Back then, I was a good seven inches and growing, but Atiba was already working with nine. On his short, muscular frame, it looked huge. I started touching and slowly stroking it up and down, admiring his masterpiece. He was shy about telling me what he wanted next, but his hand pushing my head down was all the direction I needed. I didn’t know what I was doing, so I just mimicked what the young, pretty, light-skinned girl was doing in the movie. If she would lick up, down, and all around, then so did I. If she worked her mouth and lips fast, slow, and then fast again, I worked mine on Atiba just the same. I kept going until my mouth started hurting. He was finally ready to get his first piece of “boy pussy” as he used to call it. I positioned myself on my back and, after 15 minutes of struggling, running, and using a lot of Vaseline, he finally arrived at his destination. At first, I could tell he didn’t know what he was doing, but it didn’t take long before he found his rhythm. From all the sounds he was making, I could tell he was enjoying it, but I, on the other hand, not so much. It hurt and was uncomfortable, to say the least. I was too scared he’d get mad and frustrated to make him stop. Eventually, I got used to it and loved it because I let him use me until the sun came up Saturday morning. Needless to say, he asked to stay over my house every weekend until that school year ended. I didn’t hear from him the following summer and, when our junior year started, his whole attitude had changed. He walked around as if he was the man and he was definitely feeling himself. When I asked him how come he didn’t call me or return any of my calls over the summer, he replied, “Because I have a girlfriend now.” I proceeded to ask, “Where does that leave us?” His response was, “I’m sorry, but there is no us. Jamar, you’re cool and all, but I told you what was up from the beginning. I don’t think we should hang out anymore and I’d appreciate it if you never brought up us again.” That was how I was introduced to love, porn, sex, and heartbreak.