Pretty Hate (New Adult Novel) (5 page)

“Beth, I’m coming down there. You’re hysterical.”

“Shouldn’t I be? Wouldn’t it be a little fucking weird if I looked at this picture as I smiled and wondered where she’s gonna register for the shitty baby shower? I have to go. I’m going to be sick.”

I dropped my phone on the counter and tripped over some beer cans that I missed as I flew into the bathroom and threw up. I rinsed my mouth out and went out to the break room. Someone left an Entenmann’s Pumpkin loaf cake in the refrigerator and I shoved my hand into the box, pulled out a fistful of cake and shoved it into my mouth as I sat down at the table. I thought of Billy and babies and chicks with double names and double lives. As I cried, I huffed out a plume of powdered sugar that drifted down across my boobs like dandruff.

The doorbell to the front door rang and I held my breath as I waited for whoever walked through the door to leave. When the bell sounded again after a while, I sat back in my chair and took a breath as I wiped my face with a napkin. I stood up and the doorbell rang again.

“Fuck me,” I whispered and shook my head.

“Beth!” Stephanie called from the front of the store. “Beth!”

I walked out from the back room and she threw her arms around me.

“I’m fine,” I said as she hugged me.

“Oh my God, I was so nervous driving over here. I nearly called Rebel Love to come.”

I spotted the package on the counter and looked at her and shook my head.

“What did you bring me?” I said.

“Uh, I didn’t bring you anything.”

I looked at her as I picked up the package, wrapped in brown kraft paper and dropped it back down on the counter.

“You seriously didn’t bring this?” I said.

“Nope. What’s it say?”

I looked at the inscription, written in black Sharpie across the front of the package.

“‘
It was better to burn than to disappear
’,” I said as I stared at the writing. “It’s a quote from something.”

“Well, open it!”

I turned the package over and carefully pulled the tape off the folds and spread the paper out. I flipped the slim paperback over and smiled as I stared at the cover. Stephanie looked at the book over my shoulder and giggled.

“The Stranger
, Albert Camus,” she said and clicked her tongue. “Well, that certainly ain’t from Billy Rider.”

I flipped through the book and noticed the writing in the margins and the dog-eared pages.

“It’s used,” Stephanie said and scoffed.

“It’s perfect,” I said. “It’s from him.”

“Him, who? Isn’t there a note?”

“I know it’s from him,” I said and held the book against my chest. “I don’t need a note. Look.”

I pointed at the title page and Stephanie stared at it and smiled.

“Nicolas Miles, 86 North 10
^th
Street, Brooklyn, 11211. Wow, he’s from New York? Maybe he just moved here.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I can’t believe that he--”

Stephanie hit my arm and I looked up at the door just as he walked through. He had a piece of paper and a pen in his hand and he held his arms out and smiled when he saw me and Stephanie at the counter.

“Oh, man,” he said and scratched his head as he looked at me. “I realized I forgot to write a note. Um, well, that’s from me. An apology gift. I’m Nicolas.”

He took a step toward me and held his hand out. I slipped my hand into his and he held on as he stared at me.

“I’m Beth,” I said and smiled.

“Beth,” he said. “That’s a really...you’re really pretty.”

He released my hand and I smoothed my hair down. I pictured myself ripping the tight, white Henley off his chest as I pushed his Levi’s down his legs.

“Um, so...” he said and cleared his throat as he looked at Stephanie.

“I’m Stephanie,” she said and pushed me aside to shake his hand. “I’m sorry I called you a psycho yesterday. It was a bad day.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said and shook my head. “Really bad day. Sorry.”

“Actually, it was psycho asshole, but I’m glad to meet you,” he said.

“Thank you for the book,” I said and tapped on the cover. “I don’t know a lot of people who read philosophers.”

“Well,” he said and smiled, “now you know one more.”

“So you live in--”

“Would you like to go out with me? Like, on a--”

“Yes. When?” I said.

“Oh, um, tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow’s perfect,” I said. “Where?”

“Well, the only place I’ve been is The Atherton Pub, do you know it?”

“Yes, I’ve been there a few times. Want to meet there at six?”

“Sure, that was easy,” Nicolas said and smiled. “I will see you tomorrow at six at The Atherton Pub, Beth. I’m looking forward to it.”

He stepped closer to me and pressed his lips against my cheek. I inhaled and he smelled like Fahrenheit cologne.

“It is nice meeting you,” Nicolas said into my ear.

I closed my eyes as he walked out the door of the bookstore and made a wish that he didn’t die on his way home.

“Don’t say a word until he is far away from the plaza,” I said and turned to stare at Stephanie.

“I can’t believe this, Beth. It’s just like a fairy tale.”

“I know!” I said and jumped up and down and hugged Stephanie. “Isn’t he hot?”

“So hot!” Stephanie said and looked out the window. “Shit, party’s over. Mr. Reece is out there looking at the cardboard.”

Mr. Reece ran into the store and stared at me.

“What in the hell has been going on?” he said and looked around the store. “What happened to the Koontz display?”

“I saw the graffiti when I came in this morning, Mr. Reece. I didn’t know what to do so I just covered it up. I was going to call you.”

“Really? When were you going to call me, Miss Munroe?” he said as he walked around the counter.

I grabbed the book and looked at Stephanie. She shook her head.

“I was going to call you--”

“After you got done with your Facebooking?” Mr. Reece said and stared at the computer screen.

“Shit,” Stephanie said under her breath.

He walked toward me and kicked something. He knelt down and picked up a beer can and held it in front of his face.

“I do not believe this,” he said and stared at me. “What is wrong with you, Miss Munroe?”

“Mr. Reece,” Stephanie said, “Beth wasn’t alone.”

“I was, Mr. Reece,” I said. “That’s all mine. Everything. The display, the Facebook and beer...even the graffiti. All my fault. Stephanie had nothing to do with it.”

Mr. Reece slammed the beer can on the counter and closed his eyes.

“You vandalized my property?”

“Um, no? I mean, I made a mess, but I did not--”

“What the hell do you think graffiti is, Miss Munroe?

“Oh, no, I didn’t spray-paint that. I mean, no.”

“Miss Munroe, you’re fired. I’m sorry. I really thought you were one of the good ones, but I obviously can’t trust you. Please gather your things and leave.”

“I-I’m sorry Mr. Reece. I really am.”

Stephanie and I left the store and I clutched
The Stranger
to my chest as I thought of Nicolas.

“What do you think he does?” I said as Stephanie and I walked to her car.

“Who?”

“Nicolas Miles. I bet it’s something artsy. Living in Brooklyn...I bet he does something artistic.”

“You don’t even know him, Beth. You don’t even know if he still lives in Brooklyn. Don’t go creating fantasies like you do with every guy. You’ll always get disappointed. Remember...low expectations.”

“Now you sound like my mother. What, you lower the bar until it hits the ground and then there’s nowhere to go but up?”

“Yep,” Stephanie said and sighed. “You don’t expect anything good to happen, but when it does, then it’s really sweet.”

“That just sounds depressing,” I said as I got into Stephanie’s car. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Well, I’m sorry you got fired. Thanks for covering for me. I feel sort of guilty.”

“Don’t worry about it. I wanted to quit that job anyway,” I said as I ran my fingers across the cover of the book Nicolas gave me.

CHAPTER FOUR

When we got back to Ivory-Lou’s about five of his girls were in the living room trying on wigs. Rebel Love went from girl to girl fitting the wigs and Ivory-Lou walked around and either nodded or cussed.

“Beth,” Rebel Love said when she saw me and Stephanie in the kitchen, “what do you think of Sadie’s wig?”

Sadie, a plump, dark-skinned girl turned around and showed off her platinum wig. The contrast between her face and the wig made it look like a lightning bolt got her in the head.

“Wow, it’s...intense,” I said and grabbed a Coke out of the refrigerator. “Bright, I guess.”

“It looks fucking stupid,” Ivory-Lou said. “We’re going to a Baptist convention at the Howard Johnson’s in Cleveland not a Siegfried and Roy show in Vegas, Rebel Love! I told you natural and simple.”

“I think she looks like Marilyn, baby,” Rebel Love said and fluffed Sadie’s wig.

“Marilyn Manson, maybe,” Ivory-Lou said. “The wig goes! Yolanda! Come up here, let me see yours.”

Yolanda walked back and forth in front of the fireplace and modeled her wig.

“What do you think, Beth?” Ivory-Lou said.

“Why are you asking her?” Yolanda said and put her hands on her hips. “I’m the one who has to wear the goddamned thing and I think it looks amazing! Don’t need to be asking no silly white girl what a proud black woman should wear.”

“Whoa,” I said and looked at Ivory-Lou and shook my head.

“I will ask her opinion if I want her opinion and you don’t have a thing to say about it, girl,” Ivory-Lou said.

“I just don’t want you to take it away from me,” Yolanda said and pouted. “I think I look just like Halle Berry.”

Ivory-Lou stared at Yolanda and then looked at me. He hung his head and pointed at me.

“Beth, what do you have to say about this? You think that ‘landa here looks like Halle Berry?”

Yolanda looked at me and shot me a bird while Ivory-Lou had his head down.

“Um, no,” I said and stared at her. “She looks more like Chuck Berry.”

“You bitch!” Yolanda said and crossed her arms.

Ivory-Lou fell off the side of the ottoman and rolled on the floor laughing.

“Ha! She got your ass, but good.
Chuck Berry
! That’s a really fine one, Beth!”

“Thank you,” I said. “But, seriously, let her keep the wig. It looks good, Yolanda. It was just a joke.”

“Thank you,” she said and gave me a dirty look.

“So, can I tell y’all about my day?” I said.

“Stephanie already told us,” Rebel Love said and pouted. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? About the date?” I said.

“What date? I thought you were talking about the Billy’s baby. Is there a date?”

“Yes, there is a date,” Stephanie said and sat on one of the coffee tables next to Rebel Love. “Nicolas Miles came into the store. Show them what he gave you, Beth.”

I held
The Stranger
over my head and the girls and Ivory-Lou stared at it.

“Who is Nicolas?” Rebel Love said as she stared at me. “Oh! The garbage guy?”

“Yep,” I said and smiled.

“Who the hell is the garbage guy?” Ivory-Lou said. “Bring that book over here, Beth.”

I sat down next to Ivory-Lou and he took the book out of my hand and looked through the pages. He dropped it into my lap and shook his head.

“He bought you a
used
book?”

“Well...”

“Well, nothing! It’s a used fucking book. And a paperback, no less. And look at you, all excited as if he handed you a pot of diamonds and shit! You gonna thank him when he gives you the VD too?”

“VD? Why would he give me VD?”

“Well, the way you’re practically jumping out of your panties over a used book, I’m guessing it’s not gonna take much for him to get them off.”

“You’re being ridiculous! Look, I had a shitty day. I just found out that my boyfriend, who I loved, and just dumped me yesterday, is not only in a relationship, but he got some chick pregnant. This is the first exciting thing that’s happened to me in forever.”

Ivory-Lou picked the book up off my lap and tapped me on the head with it.

“Come back to the planet fucking earth, Beth!” Ivory-Lou said and stood up.

“Well, I think it’s nice, Beth,” Sadie said. “Where’s he taking you?”

“The Atherton Pub. He’s been there before and they never card. It won’t be a problem.”