Random Acts of Senseless Violence (17 page)

We walked east on 138th. It looks like the streets on the Upper West Side except most of the buildings are abandoned. A streetlight was lying on the sidewalk. Halfway down the block was a vacant lot full of bricks and garbage where buildings used to be. Next to it was an old tenement with the lower floor cemented up with concrete blocks. Most of the windows upstairs that weren't broken were covered with flowery decals like you see on buildings in the Bronx when you ride by. Jude looked to see if anybody was following us and then we walked through the vacant lot around to the back of the building. She pulled a big wooden board away from the wall. There was a hole there where a couple of blocks had been taken out of a basement window.

‘Scared a holes?' she asked. It was dark and dirty inside
but I shook my head. ‘I'll light up once we're in. Me first, then you. Just follow' she said. She got down on her hands and knees and wiggled through headfirst. Once she was in I crawled in too. It was scary but I figured she knew what she was doing. The floor was level with the window which was good because I was afraid there was a drop and I didn't know what we'd be dropping into. Jude had a flashlight inside that she must keep there and she turned it on so we could sort of see where we were going. Broken wood and old wine bottles and cans on the floor were cleared off in front of the window so nobody would hurt themselves crawling in. Jude walked up a flight of rickety wooden stairs and I followed her like she said. I heard chirping sounds like birds and the air was full of dust and dirt. The stairs leaned down so it was hard to walk on them.

‘Crack house onetime I spec' Jude said. ‘I repossessed it after the heads gentrify the Pit. First time Weezie and Iz visit entrance was smaller, only one a them blocks was out to keep prying eyes blind.' Jude shoved open the door at the top of the stairs. We were in a long hall. ‘Foot careful' she said. Some of the floorboards were pulled up with pipes sticking up. Jude held the flashlight down so we could see where we were walking. We made it to another stairway and went upstairs. ‘I snaked in, out, no prob but Weez she just get halfway. Big Dominican culo stuck like a cork' Jude said and laughed.

On the stairs where we were walking and on the bannister where we had our hands the dust was gone but on the sides it was an inch thick. There was graffiti on the walls and places where holes were knocked through. ‘Weez she cursed me blue and let me tell you girl I was rollin' Jude said. There was all this crunching under our feet when we got to the next floor and when I looked down I saw the floor covered with little glass things and envelopes you put crack in. ‘Then we try unpluggin her and nobody laughing now. I pull, Iz push but Weezie, she don't budge. I say Weez how I get out if you blockin the door and she scream at me
again' Jude said. She walked up another flight of stairs to the third floor. We had to be especially careful because the bannister was gone. I stayed close to the wall. There were scratching sounds and more chirping ahead of us and I knew it must be rats. I hate rats but Jude didn't seem scared and kept walking up.

‘Weezie was stuck like Winnie the Pooh' I said thinking of how funny it was to think of them compared. Jude didn't say anything like she didn't know what I was talking about. On the third floor Jude pushed open another door and we walked into a dark room where it felt like it was a hundred degrees. ‘Stand there' Jude said and then she took sheets of wood down from the broken out windows. There was a breeze when the windows were uncovered but not much. ‘You finally got her out?' I asked. ‘Looks that way don't it?' Jude asked. ‘Iz she got Weezie's pants down and got her slippery with cold cream. Then we yank and yank and finally Weezie popped out like a fart. Before Iz tried getting in I knocked out another cement block make sure she could make it' Jude said. ‘Weezie was stormin but I hashed her quick.'

The room was as big as our old living room. Jude uncovered three of the windows. They looked out on the rear toward 139th. An old mattress with sheets and pillows on it lay on top of bricks to keep it off the floor. There was a beat up suitcase on a desk that had been painted over a dozen times. Next to it was a boombox and cassettes. Hanging from nails on the wall were a blue recycle bag full of bottles and a bag stuffed with trash like McDonald's wrappers and old newspapers. There were holes in the walls, some punched in by people and some by the floor I thought were rat holes. Lots of candles like holiday candles were everywhere. They were from botanicas and each candle was in a glass container. On the sides of the glasses were drawings of pretty women wearing crowns and old men in robes and Jesus too. They all said something in Spanish on them.

‘This is your house?' I asked. ‘For now' said Jude. ‘Where are your parents?' I asked. ‘Somewhere fuck em' Jude said. ‘You stay here all the time?' I asked. ‘Sometimes.' ‘Where do you take a shower?' ‘Iz's sometimes, other places other times.' ‘How long you been here?' I asked. ‘February' Jude said. She put a rap tape in her boombox. The singers were bombers and rapped so fast I couldn't hear anything but blurs. Except for Bob Marley most of her cassettes were of Caribbean groups I hadn't heard before or whose names I didn't recognize. She had a framed certificate on the wall that said Outstanding Student Sixth Grade Judy Glastonbury. Jude sat down on her mattress and patted it so that I'd sit down beside her which I did.

‘Are you from Jamaica Jude?' I asked. ‘My parents from Barbados but I was born at St Luke's' Jude said. ‘You have an accent' I said. ‘You too' she said. I didn't know I did. Hers is so pretty. Whatever my accent is I know it's not an awful one like Long Island or New Jersey people have. ‘What's private school like?' she asked. ‘Same as regular school I guess' I said. ‘Doubt it. You go to mix school or girls' school?' ‘To Brearley. I wouldn't want to go to a school with boys in it' I said. ‘I hear you. Boys be so constant deadhead and lowering the tone. Hell if you're actual schoolin and not just day-wasting like they' she said. ‘Are you still in school?' I asked. ‘Where else I be?' she asked. ‘I don't know. You're fourteen?' Jude nodded. ‘So's Weezie. Esther's thirteen. Iz, twelve but she's fast.' ‘I'm twelve' I said. ‘Known.' ‘You have any brothers or sisters?' I asked. ‘Two in the Army two dead' Jude said. ‘What happened?' ‘They exed out. Happens' Jude said.

She didn't say how but she didn't seem like she wanted to say. There was a cracked mirror leaning against the wall across from her bed. ‘Do you think I look older than twelve?' I asked looking at myself. ‘You tall but babyfaced plain' said Jude. ‘I know' I said. Her room was good to hang in but it seemed like such a horrible place to actually
live. What she did when she had to go to the bathroom I didn't have any idea and I was glad I didn't have to go. ‘Where do you study?' I asked. ‘School during class.' ‘Your teachers don't say anything?' ‘They keen on viability not homework' Jude said.

Anne where Jude lives is so awful but after a while I got used to it and it felt like a nice place. It's like our apartment now it's not as good as our old one but it's home just the same. It was weird though that you could adjust to something so quick and I wondered if I were Jude if I could ever get used to living in a place like hers. ‘You like you life?' Jude asked. ‘Sometimes' I said. ‘School I used to like but I don't anymore. I probably will again. At home it's hard because we've gotten so poor.' She didn't say anything and I thought I'd said something bad because as poor as we are we still have more money than Jude does now. But she didn't act like she was mad or anything.

‘What about you?' I asked. ‘There's a lot more I want a lot more' she said. ‘Yes' I said. ‘Got to get it one way or other' she said. ‘You don't sell drugs do you?' I asked. ‘Never hook with junkies' Jude said. ‘I know you thinkin you virg but they more white junkies than black. They find you if you look.' ‘I know a couple' I said. ‘Me too. Don't know em long though. Iz and Esther clean too.' ‘Weezie?' I asked. ‘Weezie shit Weezie do what Weezie wants. She be exed one day. I tell but she deafs' Jude said.

We didn't say anything for a minute or so. ‘Boys too' she said. ‘Top trouble.' ‘Have you been with boys?' I asked. She nodded still staring out the window. ‘Like you've kissed them and made out?' ‘Oh yeah' she said. ‘I've never kissed a boy' I said. ‘I kissed a girl friend of mine. Then she told everybody I was a queer.' ‘Bad news. Are you?' Jude asked. ‘I don't know' I said surprised that I said it. ‘We tongue kissed' I told her. ‘That don't mean nothing.' ‘How old were you when you first tongue kissed?' I asked. ‘Six, seven. Don't remember' Jude said.

She said it like she didn't think it was anything strange. I
couldn't picture Boob tongue kissing anybody and Boob is three years older. Jude was sweating through the front of her T-shirt and I was surprised to see how dark her nipples were. ‘Bad girl. You eyeballin me like you eyeballed Weezie yesterday' Jude said. ‘When?' I asked. ‘When she lean over and her titties do a flipflop. I saw you. Careful when you scope.' ‘Why?' ‘When she think somebody queer Weezie don't just go post office, she go
G
PO. Sometime she hook with Intercrime, she want to be a gangstagirl. They zip down to the Village, go bash bigtime. And Weez already got a big problem with you cause you're white.' ‘But she's Spanish' I said. ‘Don't make her white' Jude said. ‘Boys or girls make me no diffbut if you don't know which send you don't let Weezie know.'

‘Have you kissed girls before?' I asked. ‘Kissin sure. You mean which do I hop when I want hoppin?' she asked. I nodded. ‘Depends on who offers what when' she said. There was a whistle downstairs all of a sudden. Jude whistled the same tune back. ‘That's Iz' she said. In a few minutes Iz came upstairs panting like she ran all the way. ‘What's doing?' she asked. ‘Looselippin that's all' Jude said. Iz had a big bottle of Pepsi with her that she opened and drank from before passing it to us. ‘I'm overheating so scuse' Iz said and pulled her jeans and shirt off. She wasn't wearing a bra either and like Weezie she should have because she's full size. In her underpants she looks like a high school girl and older than when she has her clothes on. She lay down next to us. ‘Looselipping who?' she asked.

‘Weez' Jude said. ‘What about Weez?' Iz asked. ‘Her special craziness' Jude said. ‘You see her?' Iz shook her head and said ‘Weez running the Pit looking for Bad Conrad.' ‘What for?' Jude asked. ‘Debt collecting' said Iz. ‘How did she get the name Weezie?' I asked. ‘From weezin' Jude said. ‘What's that?' I asked. ‘You know' Iz said and huffed and puffed like she was still out of breath. ‘Weez got TB. Don't slow her none.' ‘When she take sick in third grade she be weezing daylong so we dub her Weezie' Jude
said. ‘Don't let her cough on you Lola. She say she got the TB beat out a her but she lying' Iz said.

We sat there drinking the bottle of Pepsi until it was all gone. I was so thirsty and so were they. ‘How's church?' Jude asked Iz and tossed the bottle in the recycle bag. Iz rolled over on the mattress until her legs rested against me. It was so hot I scooted away but not far. ‘Churchy' Iz said. ‘You get saved girl?' Jude asked. ‘Not yet' Iz said. ‘Preacher preached till he was hoarse. Going on bout devils in the streets. Sunday School teacher be especial corny horny today, laying on the hands ever chance he get. Old ladies in hats be pinching my cheeks till I'm sure.' Jude reached across and gave Iz a real hard pinch on the butt. ‘Damn you know what I mean' Iz said and kicked out her feet and Jude fell down on top of her. They wrestled on the mattress a few minutes giggling and laughing. I stood up so I wouldn't get kicked or hit and just watched. Finally Jude sat on top of Iz and pinned her arms down. They were soaking wet and both smelled stronger than white girls but they smelled good. ‘Caribbean Crusher win again' Jude said. ‘Two out a three' Iz said and they both laughed. Even though it was hot Jude didn't get up.

Then I heard a scratching in the corner and I looked. Agh! Anne it was a giant rat the biggest I've ever seen. It could have eaten a cat it was so huge and had a long ratty tail. I screamed and Jude jumped up. The rat knocked over a box of tampons trying to get away. What Jude did I still can't believe. She grabbed a piece of twine she had by her mattress. It had a noose tied in one end and she lassoed the rat around the neck! She jerked it real quick and caught him. She stood up holding the twine and pulling the rat up from the floor. I could hardly stand to look at it it was so horrible. ‘Mister Ratty you holidayin the wrong beach' Jude said. ‘Careful Jude' Iz said standing on the bed. The rat twisted around on the end of the twine and was trying to lunge at Jude even though it was choking. It hissed and snapped its teeth. ‘Rats like people' Jude said. ‘Out to get
what's gettable.' After it tried to bite her again she reached into the desk drawer and took out a cigarette lighter. She lit it and adjusted the flame so that it burned real high and then she turned it on the rat's belly. ‘Whatever they do to you to keep you away' Jude said. The rat pulled itself loose and fell on the floor but before it could run off she caught it by the tail. She swung the rat around and around and then let go and it flew out the window. ‘But they get you endtime, just the same' Jude said.

I read in the paper somewhere or remembered from class hearing where a mouse or rat could fall from a high distance and not be hurt because they were small. A person though would be killed or at least all smashed up. Even though I hate rats I hoped it either got away or died. After a while Iz got dressed and we went back downstairs. We saw soldiers walking along Broadway south of where they had the barricade. They weren't doing anything but they looked like they were ready to. The ugliest ones made remarks to us but we didn't pay any attention. We reached the subway where it was elevated at 125th. ‘We gotta go bank. Later' Jude said and they ran upstairs.